To Be Alone
by Laces4567
Summary: When Kurt's mother dies in a horrific accident, and Kurt witnesses it, life in the foster care system begins. Will Kurt ever find a forever family? Will he ever see his sister again? Rated for possible graphic scenes and abusive situations. Eventual Klaine.
1. Chapter 1

_I don't think I really need to point out that this is obviously not canon. I tried to incorporate as much canon into their personalities as I could, but obviously they haven't had the same experiences that canon characters have had that make them, them. I do have some OC's, but the main characters and anyone you recognize are not mine. There will be abusive situations in this story, primarily in chapter 3. If this bothers you or is a trigger for you, skip them or don't read it, please. I don't want to cause a trigger for anyone!_

BOOM!

As the quick light of lightning lit up his room, followed by the loud boom of thunder, 4 year old Kurt Jackson hid under his blankets, clutching his teddy, Paddington, tightly to his chest. Lucy Jackson grabbed her brother's hand and held it tight.

"Where's mommy?" she whispered.

"I don't know," came the soft reply. Their mommy was usually in bed much earlier than this, he was sure, though he wasn't exactly sure what time it was.

BOOM!

"Mommy!" Kurt cried out, leaping from the big bed and racing out of the room to find his mommy, dragging Lucy behind him, Paddington still clutched tightly in his arms. Kurt and Lucy found Mommy asleep on the couch, the TV on quietly in the background.

BOOM!

Kurt leapt on top of Mommy, waking her in the process.

"Oh, my babies," Mommy said, startled, pulling him tightly into her chest and wrapping the other arm around Lucy, kissing her forehead, then his. "I should have woken up sooner, I'm sorry," she said.

Lilly lifted her daughter in one arm, and took her son's hand in her other in her arms and brought them back to the bedroom of the small apartment. She sat Lucy on the bed as Kurt climbed up next to her, and Lilly claimed her spot in the middle, with Kurt cuddled on her right side and Lucy on her left.

"Story or song?" she asked her two favorite little people.

"Rainbows," requested Kurt. Lilly smiled and gave him a little squeeze.

"Close your eyes," she requested before starting to sing.

"Somewhere over the rainbow,

skies are blue,

and the dreams that you dare to dream

really do come true."

As Lilly's voice sang on, the thunderstorm continued on outside, but Kurt and Lucy finally fell asleep curled tightly against their mommy, Kurt with Paddington clutched in his little arms; Lucy with a hold on her baby, Miranda.

Lilly lay awake for a long while after the children fell asleep, just watching them. It was times like this that she missed her husband, Jacob, the most. It was par for the course with the children, Kurt even more than Lucy, every time it stormed they would sleep with Lilly and Jacob. Sometimes they would come scurrying into their parents' room, but most of the time the storm would wake Lilly up, and knowing her children as she did, she would go check on them, usually to find Kurt burrowed in Lucy's bed, shaking beneath the covers. She would carry them back to her bed and lay them between her and Jacob, and sometimes they would lay awake and tell stories, other times they would fall asleep right away, all cuddled together. Now it was just her, and the three of them shared a double bed.

Jacob had been a construction worker. He died four months previously when a car barreled over the barriers separating the driving lane from the construction workers, killing Jacob and another worker, while the driver remained relatively uninjured. Lilly and Jacob had never been rich, but between the two of them they made ends meet. Lilly was now the sole breadwinner, and her job as a waitress didn't bring in much. She wasn't able to keep up with the rent for long, and it wasn't long before she, Kurt and Lucy had to move into a shelter. The shelter helped them get back on their feet, and they were able to get into a tiny, one bedroom subsidized housing apartment for quite cheap, but it wasn't a great neighborhood and there was no room for Kurt and Lucy to run around.

She was glad Kurt and Lucy were such easy-going children. Lucy was a little more high-strung and energetic than Kurt, but really, when compared to the rough and tumble neighbor boys she watched sometimes, she realized she had two amazingly easy-going kids. Always happy and full of energy, of course, they were four after all, but they liked things neat and tidy, and they played nice games. It didn't take much to keep them happy, and they always had each other for company. They enjoyed tea parties with their stuffed animals, playing with Lilly's heals, and helping Lilly cook. They loved attention, and Lilly gave them all she had. They also loved their elderly neighbor, Mrs. Blackstone. She was a widow, living alone, and adored her time with the twins. She watched them free of charge once a week when Lilly had to work the evening shift. They went to the other neighbors, the Cleins, with whom she traded babysitting responsibilities, twice a week as well, but Kurt and Lucy much preferred their evenings with Mrs. Blackstone. The Clein boys were a little too rough for Kurt, and of course, Lucy wasn't okay with Kurt being uncomfortable in any way, and sometimes this instigated fights between her and the Clein boys. Lilly was trying to find a way to get back to school and pursue a nursing degree, to create a better life for her and her children, but that was hard when she had to work full time and raise two preschoolers. Neither she nor Jacob had any family to speak of.

Jacob was the one who pointed it out first: their son was not like the other boys. While they were out rough and tumbling, Kurt was playing tea party with his sister. While they were digging up worms, Kurt was running around in his mother's heels, giving Lucy fashion advice. They'd encouraged him to play with the boys, but he simply enjoyed playing with his sister and some of the other girls in the area better. When Kurt stated that all he'd wanted for his third birthday was a sensible pair of heels, Jacob voiced his curiosity as to if Kurt might be transgender or gay. They'd had a long conversation that night, and decided that they would continue to encourage both of their children to be themselves, and allow them to be whoever that was. They started talking to them about different types of families and people, and adding stories about two mommies or two daddies to their nighttime cuddle story collection, so their children would grow up knowing there was nothing wrong with however they identified, so long as they were good people. They would know that they could be comfortable being whoever they were. Now that Jacob was gone Lilly made it her duty to continue to raise the twins to be an amazing people, no matter who they ended up being

XXXXX

"The dinosaur's gonna eat your brains out!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Mommmmy, make them stop!"

"BANG BANG BANG! You're DEAD!"

"Ryan, Kyle, we don't play like that, now come and sit down for breakfast!"

"BANG BANG BANG!"

"Mommmny, Kyle killed Eloise!"

"Kyle, we don't play guns in this house, now please, sit down at the table."

"JERONIMO!"

"Ryan! Get down from there! We don't stand on the bookshelf!"

"Mommy, something smells burny."

"Shit!"

"Ohh, Mrs. Jackson said a bad word!"

Lilly was not having the best morning. She was thankful to the Cleins for watching the twins in the evenings, but her mornings with Kyle and Ryan were nothing short of horrific. They were just. So. Rough. She needed to get out of the house in the next 20 minutes so she could get the kids to school and start her shift at 8. Kurt had a rough start to the morning; after the storm last night he hadn't slept well. Lucy decided she was going to be stubborn this morning, and wanted to wear her pink pants with her bright purple top. Kurt insisted that she couldn't, and it started a 20 minute argument, to which Lilly put to rest by allowing Lucy to wear what she wanted. Kurt spent the next 10 minutes having a meltdown because Lucy would humiliate herself, leaving them way behind schedule. She pulled the blackened pancakes off the stove, and tossed them into the sink, pushing them down the garbage disposal with a fork. They were unsalvageable and she was too flustered to make another batch. Not to mention low on time.

"Alright guys, what kind of cereal do you want? We have fruit loops, cinnamon toast crunch, and cheerios," she asked the kids. As the kids were eating, Lilly went to change into her uniform.

XXXXX

At long last, after having first to go back for Lucy's backpack, then stopping at a gas station before Kyle wet his pants, the children were at school and Lilly pulled into the parking lot at the diner.

"You're late, Jackson," her boss exclaimed as she rushed through the door and threw on an apron.

"Sorry, we had a rough morning," she explained.

Her boss, Rico, gave her a mock glare before grabbing some dishes for a customer. They really had a good relationship, and he was more than understanding when it came to her children. He tried to give her as many school-day shifts as he could, though Lilly had to work some evenings and weekends because that was where the big tips came in. On emergencies, Rico was more than okay with Kurt and Lucy taking up a booth and coloring while Lilly worked. He even gave them free ice cream when this happened. He made no secret about his adoration for Kurt and Lucy, and may or may not give Lilly special treatment on occasion because of her situation. After Jacob had died, Rico provided the family with all of their meals for the next week.

Lilly grabbed her pad, and went to the nearest table…a young couple with a child about the twins' age.

"Hello, welcome to Rico's diner, I'm Lilly and I'll be taking care of you today. What can I get you to start out with?" she asked in her friendliest voice, placing a coloring page and a few crayons in front of the little boy.

"I want a cheeseburger!" the boy exclaimed.

"It's breakfast time, Finn, how about some pancakes?" his mother suggested.

Lilly had to laugh…the boy reminded her a bit of her Lucy.

"How about some coffee to start out with, and orange juice for Finn?" The man requested. Lilly nodded with a smile and went to retrieve the drinks. The family was so sweet, but it made her think of Jacob.

XXXXX

Lilly didn't work late today, only till 3:30. The children went to after school care on her early evenings, so she picked them up on her way home.

They got back to the apartment, Lilly helped the kids out of the car and made their way inside. She took out the graham crackers, peanut butter and banana, and made the kids a snack. Kurt requested Mickey Mouse, so Lilly obliged, and the two settled on the couch with their snacks and show. Lilly, meanwhile, began emptying the kids' backpacks to check their work from the day, and look for any teacher's notes. She pulled a red card out of Lucy's pink folder. That surprised her—usually both of her kids came home with green cards. Upon reading the note, she learned that Lucy had dumped purple paint over the head of a little boy, who had made fun of Kurt for wanting to use the 'girly color.' Lucy had then proceeded to spend the day calling the boy names and telling him he looked like the "one eyed one horned giant purple people eater." She had received two time-outs that day, and lost her playtime privileges. Lily shook her head, placing the note to the side and opening up Kurt's folder. He had received a yellow card for yelling at his teacher for being mean to his sister when she wouldn't allow Lucy to play with him at playtime. Of course, Lilly wasn't overly surprised at why the children had gotten in trouble. Lucy was overly protective of her brother, particularly when it came to other kids being mean to him. Kurt was sometimes the victim of teasing because he preferred girl things over boy things, and Lilly couldn't be mad at her daughter for protecting her brother. At the same time, Lucy had overreacted and taking the protecting thing to a whole new level this time. Lilly decidedly made her way to the TV, turned it off, and sat in front of her children.

Lucy had explained that the boy, Derek, was a big butt face most of the time, and nobody liked him. She explained that he was a poopy head, and that the purple paint was a vast improvement over his natural appearance, to which Kurt erupted into a fit of giggles. Lilly explained to her daughter that while she was proud of her for protecting Kurt, what she had done to Derek was just as bad as what Derek had done to Kurt, and that being a bully isn't OK, even if she was bullying another bully. Lucy should have told the teacher, or even just told Derek off and ignore him. Lucy received a light swat on the butt and spent several tearful minutes in the corner, while Kurt was scolded for yelling at his teacher, though Lilly figured the time-out he had received at school was punishment enough. Lilly was going to ensure that her children were not bullies, but she also wanted Kurt to know that he wasn't to accept being teased. There were other ways of dealing with things.

Everything forgiven and the children happy again, the small family sat down to a simple dinner of sandwiches, eaten on the floor of the living room tea party style.

"Can we have a dance party, Mommy?" Kurt asked, as he finished off the last of his milk.

"Sure thing, sweetie," Lilly responded. "Help me carry the dishes to the kitchen, and I'll find something to dance to."

The living room was cleaned up in short order, and the furniture was pushed out of the way. The next hour was spent dancing fanatically to the Beatles, Lilly singing along, and the children following as best they could. They adored their mommy's singing voice, they thought she was better than the Beatles themselves. Daddy had been a really good singer, as well, and a guitar player. They used to have dance parties with Daddy playing the guitar and Mommy singing, while Kurt and Lucy danced. Kurt and Lucy felt that Mom and Dad's version was much better than the Beatles. Lilly had tapes of this, but it was too hard to listen to, so they settled for this.

Bedtime that night went quite well, as exhausted as the children were from their big day. Lucy decided in the tub that she would apologize to Derek tomorrow, but if he gave her or Kurt any more problems she was going to hit him….no, she was going to tell the teacher, and be happy he got in trouble.

"Raindrops on roses

And whiskers on kittens

White copper kettles

And warm woolen mittens

Brown paper packages tied up with string

These are a few of my favorite things,"

The children were asleep rather quickly tonight, Lucy pressed against her mommy, and Kurt cuddled between Lucy and the wall. Lilly breathed in the fresh scent of the twins' favorite strawberry scented shampoo, before dozing off herself. After the storm and lack of sleep last night, the Clein kids rambunctiousness this morning, the long day on her feet at work, and the twins' energy tonight, she was too exhausted to do her normal pre-bedtime cleanup.

XXXXX

The next morning, Kurt woke up with a cough. Lilly took his temperature, and he didn't have a fever. She determined he was well enough to go to school, and the morning (without the Clein boys) went very smoothly.

"Mommy, when is Santa coming?" Kurt asked, as he did 2-3 times per day.

"Thanksgiving is next week, darling. A few weeks after that, Santa will come," Lilly explained.

"Is that four million and four thousand hundred days away?" Lucy asked, innocently.

"No, baby, it's only a little over a month away," Lilly chuckled. "After thanksgiving, it'll go by fast, I promise."

"Can Santa bring my daddy back?" Kurt asked.

Lilly felt tears form in her eyes. "No, baby, he can't. But Daddy will be watching our Christmas from heaven, and we will try to have a happy Christmas anyway, that's what he would have wanted, right?"

"Yes, Mommy," the twins chorused.

Lilly pulled into the parking lot of the children's school, helped them out of their car seats, took one little hand in each of hers, and led them inside and toward their room. Mrs. Barber, their teacher, was there to greet them.

"I'm opposed to say sorry to Derek," Lucy informed her teacher, looking around for the boy.

"Derek's not here yet, but you can say sorry when he gets here," Mrs. Barber informed the girl, helping her out of her coat. "Why don't you go play with the babies," she offered.

Kurt, meanwhile, looked hesitantly up at his teacher. "Sorry, Mrs. Barber, for yelling at you," he said, quickly looking down at his toes. Mrs. Barber gave the boy a small hug.

"It's all forgiven now, Kurt. Thank you for apologizing," Mrs. Barber replied. Kurt started hacking, and Lilly winced. "He just started that today," she told the teacher. "Call me if it gets any worse?"

"Will do, have a good day, Mrs. Jackson," the teacher smiled.

XXXXX

Lilly rushed through the rain that had started while she was in the school, back to her car. She made it to work, on time this time, and began waiting on customers. At about 1:00, she got a phone call from the school. Kurt, apparently, had a fever.

"Rico, that was the school, my baby's sick, can I take off?" she asked, approaching her boss in the kitchen.

Rico spooned out some chicken soup into a to-go container. "Give this to the little one, and tell him to feel better," he told one of his favorite employees. Lilly gave him a quick hug, grabbed the soup and her things, and headed back out into the pouring rain to get her sick baby.

The roads were slick, and the downpour was torrential. Driving was slow. She made it to the school by 1:30, where she found poor little Kurt in the nurses office. She knelt down next to the little bed he had fallen asleep on and felt his forehead. He was burning up.

"It's spiked to 102, you might want to get him to urgent care," the nurse suggested. Lilly nodded her agreement, and flipped open her phone to call Mrs. Clein and ask her to pick up Lucy. Mrs. Clein agreed, and Lilly went to the classroom to pick up Kurt's things. Upon her entrance, Lucy saw her mommy and ran over to her, wrapping her little arms around Lilly's legs. Lilly picked up her daughter and gave her a tight squeeze.

"Is Kurt gonna be OK, mommmy?" Lilly asked in her sweet little voice.

"Yes, baby, Kurt's going to be fine. Mommy is going to take him to the doctor so he can get medicine and get all better, and Mrs. Clein is going to pick you up and take you home," Lilly explained.

"I want to go with you!" Lilly exclaimed, tearfully.

"Doctors are boring, baby, and Kurt is probably going to be sleeping. You'll have much more fun here at school and with Kyle and Ryan, and Mommy will pick you up in just a few hours.

Lucy, unused to being anywhere without Kurt, bit her lip hesitantly. "Promise?" she asked her mommy.

"I promise," Lilly responded. She led her daughter back to circle time, and kissed her goodbye. "Love you, baby," she said, before going to gather Kurt's things and pick her sleeping boy up from the nurse's office.

XXXXX

After the slow drive to Urgent Care and 45 minutes of waiting, Kurt was finally seen. The doctor diagnosed him with a viral infection, and prescribed an antibiotic—the bubblegum kind that Kurt loved—and the two were on their way.

By the time they were on their way home, the rain had, if possible, increased. Lilly had to drive extremely slowly, and Kurt was no longer tired at this point but singing in the backseat. She could barely see 5 feet in front of her, and if they'd had anywhere to sleep or any money for a hotel, she would have called Mrs. Clein to keep Lucy for the night and gotten a hotel.

Lilly chugged on. The normal 20 minute drive had already taken an hour, and they were still a few miles from home.

"Mommy, the angels sure are sad!" Kurt exclaimed.

"That's right, baby. Mommy needs you to be quiet though, this is hard to drive in." The light turned green, and Lilly made her way through the intersection. Kurt continued to make his barbies dance in the back seat.

Lilly saw it coming, too late to do anything about it. She turned her wheel, so the front of the car—where she was seated—took most of the impact, and not in the rear where Kurt was sitting. The truck smashed into her and pushed her car clear across the intersection, where it made impact with another moving vehicle.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam Seewald, a local small practice Ears, Nose and Throat specialist in Columbus, Ohio, had just picked up his 6 and 4 year old daughters from their after-school program, and was trying to make it home in the torrential weather. It was slow goings, and he'd already had to reprimand his daughters twice for loud squabbling and distracting him from the torturous drive.

"Lydia and Sophia, I swear if you don't stop it right now, you'll both be in your rooms for the rest of the night!" he scolded his girls He usually didn't mind them being loud in the car, and they weren't being naughty, but he _needed_ to concentrate on the impossible driving situation right now. How he wished he'd just waited at the school with his daughters, but he didn't realize how bad it would be! He couldn't _wait_ to get home to his wife and newborn son, and the wonderful pot-roast she'd be making for tonight.

He slammed on his breaks just in time. The car ahead of him wasn't so lucky. The explosion was loud, even above the sound of the rain on the roof of the car. He watched as the car was pushed all the way across the intersection by a large truck, where it slammed into another car.

"Daddy!" shrieked Lydia from the back seat, as she slammed forward against her seatbelt.

"You girls OK?" He asked, checking the girls in the back seat. Getting the affirmative, Adam pulled off the road into a gas station and into the safest parking spot, closest to the building.

"You both need to stay in here. Don't get out of the car for anything," he ordered. The girls agreed, though tearfully, and Adam rushed out of his car over to the accident. Another car was stopped at the scene, trying to figure out what to do.

"Call 911!" he ordered her urgently, as he arrived at the car. The truck driver was exiting his vehicle, seemingly OK, if disoriented. Ignoring him, Adam made his way to the squished car. It looked pretty bad—he wasn't sure how anyone could survive a crash like that. The driver's door was inaccessible, and the only way he could get to the passenger's side was on top of the hood of the other car. He tried to open a back door, but the car was just too squished.

Frantically, Adam started looking for something to smash the window with. There were several more bystanders now, he started screaming for a tire iron. There was someone trying to open the door of the car that the other vehicles had smashed into, with no luck. Adam was frantic. He didn't know what to do. He was OK in an emergency situation, but he hadn't done trauma work since med school. And first thing was to open the damn door. A woman ran over to them, cell phone in hand.

"There are tons of accidents tonight," she said, quickly, "there will be an ambulance as quick as possible."

What did that mean? Was the ambulance on the way? And Adam was sure they would need more than one.

"Do you have a tire iron? Or anything hard and metal in your car?" he asked her, frantically. She nodded and ran back to her vehicle, coming back with a tire iron. Adam grabbed it and climbed onto the hood of the car, smashing the front passenger window with all his might.

The woman inside was a mess. If they had to wait for an ambulance, Adam wasn't sure she'd make it. He could tell just from the way she was situated that her neck was probably broken. She was pinned under something, and her leg looked severed; there was a bone protruding where her knee should have been. There was so much blood, Adam wasn't sure how she was conscious. She was whispering something unintelligible. Adam carefully climbed in next to her.

"Ma'am?" he asked. He didn't want to touch her and make any injuries worse. She spoke up a little as she seemed to notice him there, her eye partway open, staring at him with ferocity. It was a look he would never, ever forget.

"My baby," she whispered. Shit. Adam turned to the backseat, and sure enough, there was a small child in a car seat. He was directly behind the driver's seat in a harness car seat. He was crying frantically, but Adam couldn't tell what his injuries were. Part of the door was collapsed on top of him, Adam could tell he'd hit his head on something, but he was moving and he was conscious. Adam carefully climbed into the back seat. He checked the child's pulse, carefully.

"Hold still, buddy," he said as gently as he could. He could tell the child probably had some broken bones, and he needed to hold still so he didn't injure anything any further. Unfortunately, the child was very young, and scared, and didn't seem to understand.

"Mommy!" he cried out, hysterically.

Adam took his hand and rubbed small circles in it, shushing gently. "What's your name, buddy?" he asked.

"K—k-kurt," the little boy finally got out. "Mommy! She's hurting!" he cried. A man stuck his head through the broken window.

"Get out of there, there's a fire!" he shouted. With no other choice, Adam quickly unsnapped Kurt's buckle, and pulled him as gently as he could from the seat. He passed him over to the man outside the window, who took him and pulled him through. Adam climbed back over the seat to look at the woman. If he moved her, she would die. He knew that. He wasn't even sure he could get her out of the car in time, as pinned as she was. He fumbled with her seatbelt. He had to try. Undoing that, he tried to free her leg, but couldn't. He noticed out the window that the gasoline trail leading up to the car was now on fire.

"Get out," the woman whispered. "You've got my baby. Get out."

"I'm sorry," Adam choked out, jumping out of the window as quickly as he could, as the blazing gasoline trail got closer. He jumped out the window and ran from the cars, where, he noticed, the other driver had been removed. The car behind him started on fire. Two other bystanders got to work trying to pull the woman from the car, but the fire quickly got too intense.

"She's already gone," Adam told them, sadly. He would never forget that haunted look in her eyes, but he knew there was nothing they could do for her, and he understood her gratefulness that they'd pulled her son from the car.

Adam looked for the little boy, who the man had lain on the ground a ways from the accident. He hurried over, and knelt next to him.

"I didn't want him moving too much," the man explained.

"You did well," Adam confirmed. The little boy was struggling to breathe now. Adam tilted his head slightly for better access to his airway.

"Kurt, I need you to hold still for me, please. You need to hold still," he urged the child. The child's eyes, a horrible, haunted expression, bored into his. And the child stopped breathing.

"NO!" Adam shouted, leaning in to breathe for the boy. He checked his pulse, it was weak. Adam started chest compressions, other injuries be damned, and leant down to breathe for the child again. He kept up the compressions, the breathing. He wasn't going to lose this boy…this baby that couldn't be older than his Sophia.

"BREATHE for me, Kurt!"

He continued the chest compressions and breathing. The fire was big, but they were far enough away. The boy had lost his mother tonight, but Adam was going to be damned if he lost Kurt too. Kurt's heartbeat picked up slightly, but he wasn't breathing.

"Anyone have a pen?" he shouted, a man leant next to him. Adam didn't give him a second glance, just ordered him to find something sharp and a pen or a straw. The man disappeared, and came back a moment later with a pocket knife and a pen. Adam ordered him to take the pen apart so he had only the shell. The man obliged, as Adam set to setting Kurt's head back just slightly, and poking the knife through his throat, making a tiny incision. He grabbed the pen being offered to him, and stuck it into the hole. Kurt was breathing. And the rain let up slightly.

Adam held his coat above Kurt, so the air was dry and no water got into the makeshift trach. If he could move the boy to a dryer location, that would help. But he was afraid to move the boy at all. He heard the sirens in the background. Kurt stirred, once again coming to. Adam took his hand and rubbed small circles on the back.

"You're OK buddy, you're going to be OK," he whispered reassuringly. He wasn't so sure he would be OK, but he didn't know what else to say.

"Daddy?" the little boy whispered, barely audible around the trach.

"No, buddy. But you'll see him soon, he'll be here," Adam reassured the boy. The firetrucks pulled to the scene, followed by an ambulance. One paramedic rushed to his side and checked on the boy, while another ran to the other victim. Adam looked around for the first time, and noticed a woman lying some 5 feet from him, another woman clutching her tightly and crying. A paramedic lay a sheet over the woman, and joined his partner at Kurt's side. Adam stepped to the side as the paramedics got Kurt on a backboard and gurney and moved him to the ambulance. Adam followed them.

"Are you a doctor?" one paramedic asked.

"An ENT," Adam replied. "Ears, nose and throat."

"Well, you saved his life," the paramedic commended him, climbing into the ambulance behind the boy. "Are you coming with?"

Adam shook his head. He'd find out about the boy, but he had two girls in his car…who were probably freaking out. Crap.

"Where are you taking him?" he asked.

"Columbus Memorial."

And the ambulance was off.

The fire was out.

Police were at the scene.

Adam wanted to collapse. But he had to get back to the girls. He turned back to the gas station, when an officer approached him.

"Sir, did you see what happened?" he asked. Adam nodded, but replied,

"I need to check on my daughters first." The officer nodded and Adam ran back to his car. His empty car. The girls weren't inside. He found them quickly enough—each with a hot chocolate sitting behind the counter in the gas station.

"Daddy!" Lydia screeched as he entered the station. "Are you hurt?"

Adam looked down at himself, absolutely covered in blood and gore.

"No, baby, it's not mine," he responded. "Are you girls OK?"

"The man gave us hot chocolate," Sophia explained.

"I saw you run to the scene…I didn't want them waiting out in this storm, so I got them in here," the manager said. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, thank you. Are they OK here for a moment? I need to go talk to the cop," Adam asked the man, who nodded in affirmation.

Adam, never one to leave his children with a stranger, knew this would be considered "extenuating circumstances," and couldn't think of an alternative. He wasn't sure how long he had been out there, but he was glad his girls weren't in the car for that long.

The cop asked for his name, for his description of what happened, and a number at which he could be reached. Adam gave him all of the above, then went to collect his girls and make his way home.

XXXXX

Carole Hummel was working the evening the little boy was brought in, in critical condition. She was one of the nurses in the operating room. She helped the doctor restart his heart when it stopped, twice. She helped as the doctor cut open the child's chest to try and stop the internal bleeding, to reinflate the lungs. Her shift was over, but she couldn't leave the child. They still didn't know who he was, as his mother had, apparently, died in the car accident before the fire started and had been burned beyond identification, along with any ID she held. He was young, though. Her son Finn's age, maybe younger. Carole would stay with him until they found some family member to come in. She couldn't leave him alone. She called her husband and informed him that she would be staying with a child at the hospital. Burt, of course, said he would take care of things with Finn, and not to worry. The boy was still unconscious, and probably wouldn't wake up for awhile, but she didn't want him to be alone. Just in case.

The officer walked in early the next morning, around 8:00 to check on the boy.

"Any news on his identity?" Carole asked.

"We're checking missing persons, and there is a possible match. A woman called it in this morning. They found the number on the car, and going to match it up to see who it belongs to," he replied. "However, it's an older model, it might be hard to connect with the current owner.

About 10:00 a woman entered the hospital room with two officers.

She gasped, chocked back a sob, and nodded her head.

"That's him. Kurt Jackson. His mother is Lilly Elizabeth Jackson. Father Jacob died a few months ago," she told the officer. "I have his sister at my house, she's with my husband. Is Lilly OK?"

The officers led Mrs. Clein out of the room.

"Unfortunately the woman he was with didn't make it," Officer Keith Doherty told the woman gently.

The woman gasped and covered her mouth with a hand, she let out a choked cry.

What's going to happen to them?"

"Is there any family we can contact?" Officer Doherty asked Mrs. Clein.

"No, Lilly has a sister, but she's in jail. I think Jacob has a brother somewhere in Texas, but they haven't seen him in a long time, he didn't come to Jacob's funeral, and Lilly's never met him," Sandra replied.

"Parents? Aunts or Uncles?" The officer pushed. There had to be _someone_ to call for this kid.

"As far as I know, no. Jacob's parents died when he was young, and I believe Lilly's mother is on the streets…she was a drug addict for most of Lilly's life."

"You mentioned a sister?" the officer questioned.

"Yes, Lucy, they're twins. Kurt had a fever last night, Lilly took him to the doctor. I was watching Lucy."

"Thank you. I'm going to have to call Social Services, and have someone come and collect her. Could I have your address?" Officer Doherty asked glumly. The last thing he wanted was to sentence these two to the foster care system, but really, what choice did he have?

"Couldn't I just keep her?" Sandra pushed. She didn't want to see these two have to float around in the foster system at all. Lucy was going to be terrified, going to a strange house all by herself. It was bad enough she'd just lost her mother, and possibly her brother.

"Unfortunately, no. The children have lost their parents, and have no family to contact, they are wards of the state now, and need to go to an approved foster home.

Carole continued to sit with the still body of the tiny boy, so banged and cut up, trying to imagine what would become of him, after what she overheard from the hallway. Maybe she could talk Burt into becoming foster parents. They'd talked about having another child. Could they instead take one that needed a good home?

_Please review. I haven't written non-academically in years, and I'd really like to know what you think!_


	3. Chapter 3

_This chapter contains abusive situations, in two places. The later one is marked as such, and is not detailed or graphic, but severe. If this is a trigger for you, please skip it! _

3 weeks.

3 weeks since the accident, and Kurt hadn't seen Lucy since that fateful night. Mrs. Clein had come to the hospital with a bag of things for him, his teddy bear, Paddington, a picture of his parents, sister and him, some clothes, toys and a blanket.

A lady—Jenny—who called herself his case manager, had come to see him several times. She assured him his sister was fine, and that she just couldn't come to the hospital because it was adult-only. Which didn't make sense to Kurt, because he was a child, but he was promised he would be with Lucy as soon as he was well enough to leave the hospital.

His nurse, Carole, sat with him often. She brought him toys and special treats from the cafeteria. She brought movies for him to watch, and played some games with him, as best he could with his arm encased in a huge cast. She was nice, the nicest person he'd met at this place so far, but he wanted his mommy, and he thought he understood what they meant when they said she was gone. She was with Daddy, and he knew he would never see Daddy again.

A lady, Jenny introduced her as Lindsey Bergwin, came to see him about a week after the accident.  
>She said she lived in Colorado, with her husband and three children. She said she was his mommy's cousin, but hadn't seen his mommy in a long, long time. She said she had seen Lucy earlier that day, and that as soon as Kurt was well enough to leave the hospital, the twins would be coming to live with her. She seemed nice enough, but she smiled too big. Didn't she realize that Kurt didn't like smiles anymore? There was nothing to smile about.<p>

As "Aunt Lindsey," as he'd been told to address her, visited over the next week, she suggested that they change the color of Kurt's casts. Pink and purple are girl's colors, she told him. She said he'd be much more comfortable in blue or green. Kurt refused. His mommy loved pink and purple, he insisted, and she said it was OK that Kurt did too. She brought it up several times, but after Kurt had a meltdown and threw a cup of water at her, she relented and stopped suggesting the color changes. Kurt said he was sorry for throwing the water and making her wet, and she said it was OK, because he missed his mommy.

A week later, a month after the accident, and a week before Christmas, Kurt was released from the hospital. The hospital gave him a wheelchair, which they said could be returned to the Children's Hospital in Denver. Kurt hugged nurse Carole goodbye, and Lindsey lifted him into the car and strapped him in a car seat. Things were bulky with his right arm and leg both encased in very large casts, but Aunt Lindsey put a couple of pillows under his legs so his bad leg wasn't dangling uncomfortably. She said they were going to pick up Lucy, who was at a "respite" foster home for a few hours while Lindsey had gone to get Kurt, and then they'd be going to the airport. Kurt forgot his troubles for the time being. He was going to see Lucy again!

Aunt Lindsey unbuckled Kurt from his car seat, and carried him into the house. There were steps, so she didn't bother with the wheelchair. A woman opened the door and invited them in, and Aunt Lindsey settled him on the couch. And Lucy was there. She ran up to him, bawling her eyes out, and hugged him very tightly until Aunt Lindsey made her let go for fear of hurting him. At the suggestion of Kurt being hurt, Lucy quickly let go, but held his good arm tightly in hers, refusing to relinquish all touch. They stayed for an hour, and had lunch, before Aunt Lindsey packed both kids in the rental car, and drove them to the airport. They'd gotten first class tickets due to Kurt's medical issues and need to spread out, and were on their way to Denver. Kurt and Lucy talked nonstop the entire way, never relinquishing their hold on each other.

Uncle Dan picked them up at the airport. He was a big man, and he looked a little scary. He kissed Aunt Lindsey when they reached him, and took the bags out of her hands, so she was left with just Kurt to push, Lucy walking alongside. He didn't pay the children much mind as they walked to baggage to get the rest of their bags, and then they took a bus to the car, where Aunt Lindsey buckled up the childrens' car seats and helped them in. Aunt Lindsey and Uncle Dan talked on the way to the house, while Kurt and Lucy kept quiet, holding each other's hands. This was all new, and very scary, and all either of them wanted was to be back in their own house with their mommy. But at least they had each other again. Uncle Dan was a quiet man, it seemed to Kurt. He talked to Aunt Lindsey but barely said three words to Kurt and Lucy. The only time he talked to them was when he asked what they wanted to eat at McDonalds. And then he helped Kurt eat his hamburger—it was hard for him with only one hand.

When they got to the house, Uncle Dan introduced the twins to his mother, who was staying with the three children. Dan's mother, who insisted the twins call her grandma, was a nice older lady. Heavy set with white curly hair and glasses, she gave them each a plate of cookies and milk immediately upon entering the kitchen. Aunt Lindsey set Kurt in a chair with a booster on it, and Lucy climbed up in the one next to him. The cookies were delicious. This grandma-lady was a good cook…even his mommy's cookies weren't this good. Though granted, while their mommy was a woman of many talents, cooking wasn't one of them. A baby started crying, and Aunt Lindsey rushed up the stairs, coming down a few minutes later with a baby on her hip, and holding the hand of a pouty-faced 2 year old. She introduced them as Josh and Megan, their new cousins. Their older brother, Dillon, who was 5 ½, was at school. Josh joined them at the table for cookies and milk, staring wide eyed at his new cousins consistently, as Lucy fed Kurt his cookies, not wanting to let go of his hand so he could do so himself.

XXXXX

6 months.

6 months since the accident, and Kurt and Lucy were adjusting to life with the Bergwins. Kurt was out of his casts, and while he was still in physical therapy, physically he was healing very well.

The Bergwins were nice enough, but they didn't sing like Kurt and Lucy's mommy did, and they strongly encouraged Kurt to join his cousin, Dillon, in boy activities. Kurt never wanted to, and it caused more than one meltdown.

Kurt had meltdowns frequently; several times a day, at least. Uncle Dan learned to deal with them, he put Kurt in a restraining hold so he wouldn't hurt himself until he calmed down. His therapist said it was because of the trauma he had experienced in the car that night, watching his mother die. The twins could sense that their presence was extremely difficult for Uncle Dan, as much as he got to like them.

So when Aunt Lindsey got pregnant, they decided their house was too small for six children. They were bursting at the seams already, and Kurt was a difficult kid to manage with his frequent violent and destructive meltdowns. So they called social services, who came one day to pick Kurt and Lucy up. They were sent back to Columbus, Ohio, where their case originated from, and placed with a temporary family. A week later, they were sent to Texas, where they were to live with their father's brother.

Uncle Charles, his name was. He worked on a ranch, and didn't have any children. He was a big man, but he looked a lot like their daddy. He didn't seem very talkative, but Kurt reminded himself that Uncle Dan was quiet at first, too, and Uncle Dan had warmed up to the children and turned nice. At dinner on the first night, Kurt asked Uncle Charles if he was really their daddy's brother, and if they'd been friends. Uncle Charles responded that he hadn't seen Jacob in 10 years, that he didn't want to talk about him, and that Kurt should eat his dinner quietly.

Kurt and Lucy quickly learned to keep as quiet as possible with Uncle Charles. There were lots of rules and chores, and the children were ordered to be as polite as they could all the time. Uncle Charles didn't like being reminded that there were children in the house. He fed them, made sure they had food to eat, and were properly clean when they went to school, but for the most part wanted the kids out of the way. Kurt and Lucy were no strangers to rules and chores…they'd had them with mommy, and had them with the Bergwins too. But chores with Uncle Charles were much more difficult for the small children to accomplish, and Uncle Charles didn't like it when they were improperly done.

Uncle Charles wouldn't stand for the meltdowns the way the Bergwins had. Instead of holding Kurt until he calmed down, he would bend Kurt over his knee and spank him until he stopped screaming. Kurt learned to calm himself down, and Lucy learned to take over when things were getting to be too much for her brother. Two weeks after moving in with Uncle Charles, in July, Kurt and Lucy celebrated their fifth birthday. A package arrived from the Bergwins in Colorado, Kurt got a stuffed dog, Lucy a new baby doll. Uncle Charles told the kids they were too loud that day, and loud kids didn't deserve presents. He hid them. That night, Lucy went to bed sobbing, clutching her old baby doll close. Kurt curled up behind her, rubbed her back, and sang their mommy's favorite song: Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

They were with Uncle Charles for the next 9 months. Over that time, Kurt put himself between Uncle Charles and Lucy on multiple occasions; taking the blame for insignificant things he hadn't done, just to protect Lucy from being punished. Uncle Charles believed that spanking was the answer to everything. Uncle Charles took his belt to him when he felt that his hand or the spoon weren't doing the trick, and Kurt wasn't sure he remembered what it was like to be able to sit comfortably. When Uncle Charles decided he wasn't learning his lesson, the beatings took place down his legs and on his back. But Uncle Charles never touched Lucy. He seemed satiated with Kurt. Lucy tried to stop it, but Kurt wouldn't let her. She had taken care of him enough—it was his turn to take care of her. Kurt learned to hide it pretty well at school, and for a long time it went unnoticed.

Until mid March. Kurt had gotten quite the severe spanking that morning for tipping over his cup of milk, and had been forced to go to school like that. Mrs. Langston noticed how difficult a time Kurt was having sitting down, and asked him to remain inside at recess so she could talk to him. Kurt explained that he had fallen backwards when he was helping with the horses last night, and landed on a shovel. Mrs. Langston, who had been suspicious of home life for the Jackson twins for some time, called child services. The social worker that came to visit the twins at the house sometimes came to the school. Her name was Rachel, and she was nice enough, but Uncle Charles had convinced the twins that if she thought anything was wrong the kids would never see each other again. They put on a good show. The twins ended up being taken to the hospital, where Kurt's injuries were observed, and the next day they were on a plane back to Columbus, Ohio where their case originated from.

They were in a group home for a few weeks, when Jenny, their first social worker, told them that she'd found a good home for Lucy. The family was a good, wealthy family who wanted to foster a little girl. Though the twins sobbed hysterically and held each other for a long while, there was nothing they could do when Jenny, Lucy's bags in hand, took Lucy from the group home to her new adoptive home. She told the twins they could talk on the phone, and they would have visits. But two months after the move, during one of the visits, Lucy told him her new foster family wanted to adopt her, and were planning on moving several hours away for her new father's job. Lucy seemed genuinely happy with her new family and new big sister, but she did not want to leave her brother. Her new father thought that getting them away from each other would help her move on. And so, as Lucy's family adopted her and moved away, the state mandated visitation died. Kurt was eventually moved to a new foster home, but much of his spirit had died with all that he'd been through in the past year.

XXXXX

20 months.

It had been 20 months since his mom died, 4 months since he and Lucy had been separated, and almost 6 weeks since he'd last seen her.

Kurt lived with the Carsons, now. Mr. and Mrs. Carson, a maintenance technician at a factory, and a librarian. They had a 12 year old son Matt, and Emma, a 7 year old foster child. They were nice, but Kurt had trouble trusting them. He was terrified they would hit him whenever they came near him, and it would cause him to break down. His meltdowns were back, and out of his control.

He celebrated his 6th birthday just a week after moving in with them. With mom and dad, birthdays were as special as they could afford to make them. Usually nothing huge, but acknowledged and celebrated. With his uncle last year, his birthday was probably the worst day so far in his young life. This year, the Carson's gave him a cake and he was allowed to pick out a toy from the toy store. It was nice, but his first without his sister and he was too sad to care.

Kurt was with Grant and Ella Carson for just over two years. They were wonderful foster parents, the first real parents Kurt had known since his own, which at this point was difficult to remember at times. Kurt had his meltdowns, he'd lost all the control he'd gained at Uncle Charles' when he lost Lucy. But the Carsons never blamed him for them. Grant learned to help Kurt through them, by allowing them to happen, holding him in a restraining hold when necessary, and talking about what caused them. Over time, the meltdowns became fewer and fewer, and eventually were few and far between.

Grant took Kurt places, wherever Kurt wanted to go, sometimes just the two of them, others with Matt or Emma. They went to the museum, to plays and musicals, and on long walks. They went fishing with Matt, and bicycle riding with Emma. They got permission to take Kurt to Minnesota for Christmas, where Grant's family lived, and Kurt got to go skiing and snowmobiling there. Grant's family treated him no different than they treated their own grandchildren. Kurt was allowed to be who he wanted with the Carsons. They never expected him to be anything different. They gave him what he asked for, and treated him well.

The Carsons were in the midst of the adoption process for both Kurt and Emma when Grant was diagnosed with cancer. Kurt and Emma were able to stay with them for a few months after the diagnosis, as Grant was undergoing chemo, but as the cancer progressed to a possible terminal condition and the state got wind of how bad it was, they decided to move the children. The Carsons fought for them, but had no real ground to stand on. The diagnosis was one that disqualified them from being foster parents, as they weren't healthy enough to keep up with two young children and provide a stable home. So Kurt and Emma went to live with an elderly couple for a few weeks, until a more permanent solution was found. It was 5 weeks after Kurt's 8th birthday.

XXX WARNING FOR SEXUAL ABUSE. DO NOT READ IF THIS IS A TRIGGER XXX

3 years, 8 months and 3 weeks.

It had been 3 years, 8 months, and 3 weeks since the accident, and 2 years, 2 months since he'd last seen Lucy.

Kurt was now living with Ray and Laura Douser. They had two biological kids, Doug and Melissa, who were 9 and 5. Ray was an electrician, Laura was a travel agent. They lived in a modest house, nothing big or fancy, but they weren't poor.

Kurt didn't like the Doursers much. Doug teased him all the time, called him sissy boy, pansy, and faggy boy. Ray and Laura didn't let Kurt play with any of his favorite toys, and forced him to play soccer. Kurt was good at soccer, and he didn't mind it so much. It was better than being by himself, and the other kids seemed to appreciate his talent on the field, but Ray always had something to yell at him about.

Laura was a good cook. She sometimes let Kurt help her in the kitchen—usually when Ray was working late-and seemed to enjoy his company. Kurt loved those days, and he learned a lot about cooking from Laura. It didn't take long for Laura to trust him to do things on his own, like crack the egg, or make perfect measurements, or follow along in the cookbook. But when Ray found out that Kurt was doing so much cooking, he got pretty upset, then Kurt wasn't allowed to help anymore.

Ray told Kurt he didn't want some pansy boy living in his house. He told him he'd better turn into a real boy, or he'd have some serious problems. It started one night, Ray hadn't been home for dinner, he hadn't come home until well after the kids were in bed, and he was pretty drunk. He came into Kurt's room and told him he'd show him what it was like to be a pansy. When he was done, he told Kurt not to tell anyone, or everyone would know what a little idiot he was. Kurt didn't tell, and Ray did it again the next week, and the week after.

As time continued, the abuse got more frequent. Mr. Douser was gone more evenings, and Kurt always dreaded this, because he knew it meant he was out drinking, and he knew what it meant when Ray got home. He tried sleeping in his closet, but Ray found him, and was angry at him for trying to hide. Kurt noticed the sores on his genitals after several months, but didn't know who to tell. He couldn't tell Laura, or she would know something was going on, and he was terrified of anybody finding out. He didn't know why, exactly, he was terrified of moving again, except that he didn't know what to expect in a new home. It could always be worse. Ray had told him the stories of other foster homes.

It happened at school one day. Kurt was trying to climb the rope in gym class. He made it pretty high, when his arms gave out and he fell. He landed at an awkward angle and heard the CRUNCH of his arm as his head smacked against the gym floor. An ambulance was called, and he was rushed to the Emergency Room. His foster parents were called to meet him. The nurses ran some standard tests, and checked him over for further bruising. They noticed the sores on his hands and a few on the bottom of his feet, and ordered some blood tests. It all came out when Kurt's tests came back positive for Syphilis, and Mr. Douser was arrested. Kurt had to spend a few days in the hospital due to a concussion, and after that he would be going to a new home. He had spent 10 months with the Dousers.

XXX Warning over XXX

Carole Hummel was working the evening shift, looking through patient files, when she came across a familiar name. She only recognized it because it was the little boy that persuaded her and Burt to become foster parents in the first place, even if that particular child went to live with a relative. Her family had fostered three children in the past couple of years, though two were reunited with their parents and one found a relative to live with, so they currently had none in the house. She wondered what Kurt Jackson was doing back in Columbus; she thought he'd moved out of state. She read the child's medical file and was shocked and upset to read that he had an STD. What could have happened to this boy? When she asked her coworker about it, she told her about the arrest that was made right in the hallway, when the STD result came back positive. The social worker had made sure the office knew nobody was cleared to visit the boy at this time. He would be here for a few days, she noted. She placed his file back in the drawer, and went to check on the young patient.

He was lying in bed, asleep. Much bigger than the last time she'd seen him, but still tiny. His arm was in a soft cast, in a hanging sling for elevation. He had an ice pack on his head, but he looked physically alright. Carole watched him for several minutes, then left the room to make a phone call.

"Burt?"

"_Hey hon, what's going on?"_

"You remember that little boy several years ago that lost his mother? The one I told you about? The one that brought us to the decision to foster?"

"_Yeah, what about him?"_

"He's here, Burt. He's here, he's still in the system, and he's in need of a home."

_Please review! I love hearing what people think! It will be a few days before any more updates-probably after Christmas. So Merry Christmas, or Happy Holidays! Have fun with whatever you celebrate :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_This one got a bit long...I got stuck on it a lot, it was much more difficult to write and it went in a different direction I had intended, but here you go! A little earlier then expected, too... :)_

Carole's heart ached for this little boy so much. She wanted so badly to protect him, love him, and give him a good, safe home. It took some convincing on Burt's part to agree to it. Normally so willing and ready to give a child a home, he was unsure about this one.

"I don't know, Carole. Sexual abuse? Can we really deal with something like that? I want to help the kid, but what if he tries something with Finn?"

"We'd need to keep a close eye on him. He's a little boy who's been through more than any little boy should…and we don't even know exactly what that is. All I know is what I know as his nurse, and I shouldn't have even told you that much," Carole responded. "We deal with his needs just as we'd deal with any other child's needs. You know I'd never put Finn in danger, but this kid needs a home and love. We'll just have to take precautions."

"I suppose we could try it…on a trial basis…see how it goes," Burt suggested.

Burt and Carole talked to Jenny, Kurt's social worker, about the possibility of fostering him. She agreed that they'd be a good match, and as the Hummels were already licensed placing Kurt with them was very simple. Upon reading Kurt's foster parent file, however, Carole had a whole new set of concerns.

"They took him from his sister?" she exclaimed, outraged, as she and Burt discussed it at home that night. "Why on earth would they separate twins who had nothing in the world but each other?"

Burt conveyed his agreement, but his wife was on a roll.

"And 10 months he was with that family…who knows what all he went through there? We need to agree, right now Burt. No matter what, no matter how hard it gets, we give it our all. We can't be just another family that gives up on him," Carole exclaimed, looking sternly at her husband.

Burt hesitated momentarily. "You know what that means though, right?" he asked. "Kurt isn't like the other kids we've had. He's not going to be reunited with his parents, and he has no other relatives. I know we've talked about adopting, but…are we prepared to deal with a kid like him, knowing the permanency of the situation. If we aren't, it wouldn't be fair to make him think otherwise," Burt pointed out. Carole, tears running down her face, nodded.

"I am. Are you?" she asked. Burt nodded. He would give it his all, the kid deserved a chance.

They explained to Finn that a new foster child would be coming to live with them, and most likely would be much more permanent. They told him that this child would have different needs than the others did. Finn was pretty used to this. He knew that each new child that came into their house came with their own set of challenges and issues, but he was happy that his parents could give the children a home when they had nowhere else to go. Finn always enjoyed getting to know his temporary brothers and sisters after they warmed up to him, and they always did.

The doctors had informed her that Kurt was going to be in the hospital for about a week. They wanted to monitor his concussion, as well as the Syphilis treatment. Several days after the accident, the swelling in Kurt's arm had gone down enough that he could choose a color for a hard cast. He chose plain white. He'd learned his lessons about vibrant colors, and wasn't going to do anything to attract more attention to himself.

5 days after Kurt was admitted, after the paperwork had gone through, Jenny, Carole and Burt went to the hospital together. Jenny explained to Kurt that Carole and Burt were to be his new foster parents. Kurt simply held Paddington tightly in his right arm (his good arm) and tried to tune them out.

XXXXX

A week had passed since the incident, and Kurt had yet to say a word to anyone. He liked Carole, she was very nice, but he was absolutely terrified of the man she called her husband. He was a big, scruffy looking guy. And he reminded Kurt a little too much of Ray and Uncle Charles. They were both big and scruffy "tough guys", where Mr. Carson had been tall and lean and always well kempt. Kurt was terrified of being placed in a new home, where he didn't know what to expect and the rules were going to be different. As nice as Carole was in the hospital, he didn't have any idea what her home would be like. Summer break had started while he was in the hospital (the accident had happened on the second-last day of school), so he wouldn't even have school to escape to if things were really bad. As he had no choice in the matter, he thought it best to start by keeping a low profile, and stay out of the way as much as possible. Maybe they would forget he was there; that might be better than having his presence known.

The first day in the Hummel home, Kurt sat on his new bed for hours, just trying to stay out of the way. There were loads of books on the bookshelf in the room they let him use, but he wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch them. Carole brought him his lunch. Kurt picked at half of it, and Carole came to collect the plate a little while later.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" she asked gently, bending down so she could look him in the eye, but keeping her distance.

Kurt didn't answer, but Carole didn't really expect him to.

"You can read some books, if you like, or you can come out to the living room and watch a movie. We have all the Disney movies," she suggested.

Tentatively, Kurt took a book off the shelf. Carole nodded her head encouragingly.

"Go ahead," she told him, "Would you like me to read with you?"

Kurt ignored her, choosing to sit on the floor and read to himself. As much as he enjoyed Disney, he wasn't ready to be out in the living room in the presence of Burt. Or remind them that he was there.

Dinner passed the same way. He was invited to the table, but when he refused Finn brought a plate to his room.

The second day passed much the same as the first. Kurt refused to come out of his room, and Carole let him stay as long as the door was open, and she checked on him every 20 minutes or so. She stayed with him a few times, and read a book with him, or just talked to him, she brought him snacks, and his lunch and dinner. She invited him multiple times to come downstairs. Kurt ignored her for the most part, but did enjoy the book she read to him, whether she knew he was listening or not. He didn't want to be so much trouble; he kind of wished she would just leave him alone, though he enjoyed the company. The first week Kurt was with the Hummels passed this way.

Kurt had nightmares. Scary nightmares. It was usually Ray; sometimes it was Uncle Charles, or one of them taking his Lucy away, but he would wake up screaming several times during the night. Carole always came in to check on him and would rub his back until he fell asleep. Once, Burt came with her, and freaked Kurt out even more. It took him almost 2 hours to calm down afterward. Burt kept his space after that.

One day about two weeks after he moved in, when Finn brought Kurt his lunch he brought his own along with it. He sat on the floor, leaning against the bed and ate while Kurt watched him nervously. When he was finished, he put the plate to the side, and smiled at Kurt.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" he asked.

Kurt stared at him a moment, unsure of what to do…but Finn was just a kid, and he seemed OK so far. Kurt continued to eye him wearingly, but took a bite of his sandwich. Slowly, he ate half of it, and pushed it aside.

"So what's your favorite movie? Do you like Spiderman, or Superman?" Finn asked.

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. He did like Superman, he watched it sometimes with his old foster brother at the Carsons, Matt, who had given him several Superman comics when he left their home. He sometimes thought about how he would get away from Mr. Douser if he were Superman, or if Superman came to save him. Sometimes, on the nights Mr. Douser came in his room, Kurt would imagine he were flying with Superman. He would escape the real world with his Superman comic books. Superman never would have let that happen for so long, had he been real. And yet, the fictional Superman was with him for so many nights, protecting him from focusing too much on the present.

"We have them both…if you wanna come down and watch with me?" Finn asked, tentatively. "Superman's my favorite, but I like the Hulk too…we can watch that, if you want. Or Spiderman…or any Disney movies, we have a ton. Why don't you pick what you want to watch, and we'll watch it together?" Finn was rambling now.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and gave him a questioning look.

"It's just…I always like when we have kids here, because I get bored. I don't have any brothers or sisters. So I thought, maybe you'd…you know, wanna hang out?"

Kurt still wasn't sure about this family. They seemed nice, like the Carsons, but they were still new. He didn't really know them yet. But Finn seemed nice enough; he seemed genuine.

"I…I like superman," Kurt whispered. He surprised himself, he wasn't sure talking to Finn was a good idea, but he really did want a friend. Finn's face lit up.

"Alright then!" he said, enthusiastically. "Lets go watch!"

Kurt hesitated, but decided to follow Finn. He liked Carole alright, and Burt had left for work already—Kurt saw him leave out the window.

"You can have the big chair if you want…or the couch. Whatever you want, I'll take the other. Do you like popcorn? I love popcorn! We have some. Or chips…we have those too. And juice boxes." Finn was rambling again. He seemed almost as nervous about hanging out as Kurt was. Kurt sat tentatively on the couch. He felt awkward, being down here, but oddly comfortable with Finn. Finn felt safe, as energetic as he was. And he had seemed really happy when he heard Kurt speak.

"I like popcorn," he said in a small voice.

"I'll be right back!" Finn said, skidding from the room.

Kurt leaned back, letting out a deep breath. He hoped he wasn't making a mistake, placing this much trust in Finn. Finn came back in a minute later, put the movie in the DVD player, and started it up. He sat in the armchair. Carole came out with the popcorn a few minutes later, placing it on the table between the boys, along with a few juice boxes, and then retreated back to the kitchen.

XXXXX

Carole had been trying to find the balance between giving Kurt both the attention and space he needed. She spent as much time with him as she could without feeling like she was being overbearing. She took more time off work so she could stay with him. All of the other children they'd fostered had been here over the school year, or been adjusted well enough to go to the summer day program, and they'd all been OK with being alone with Burt. She just couldn't see leaving Kurt with anyone for a while; she had a lot of vacation time she could use, and if she needed to go beyond that, the money they got for fostering would be enough to supplement Burt's steady income.

She wanted to help him adjust as best she could, but she'd never had a child like Kurt before. He'd been through so much more trauma then any of the other kids she'd fostered, and she wasn't sure how to help him. The psychiatrist said it was PTSD—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder—and Kurt would likely be dealing with it long-term. She said to give Kurt space, keep close watch of what triggers flashbacks and meltdowns, and give him time to adjust. The one thing Carole had connected so far was Burt. Kurt seemed terrified of him, and Carole couldn't blame him. After where he'd spent the previous 10 months, well, it was only natural that he would be leery of men. She hoped, however, that Kurt would learn to trust Burt before too long. She could see how horrible Burt felt when Kurt flinched and cowered at every glimpse. That first night of nightmares, Kurt seemed to think it was Burt that had been hurting him. He completely freaked out, and it took hours to calm him. He'd had several meltdowns over the past week, and they all seemed to center around Burt, nightmares, or bath time. While they had one successful shower, two days later he went into meltdown mode at the mention of it. His broken arm required that he had help, and Kurt couldn't deal with that. He would throw things—whatever he could get his hands on. He would throw himself around, knock things over, or do the complete opposite and cower in a corner crying hysterically. Carole had to use the protective restraining hold she'd been taught to use when he was hurting himself many times. He'd been there a week, and besides in the middle of a meltdown, he had yet to say a word to anyone.

Carole was getting desperate to find a way to break through to him. Finn had been overly eager to try to be friends with Kurt from day one, but had been told to hold back for a few days. But that day when Finn asked that day if he could bring Kurt his lunch, Carole agreed. What did she have to lose? She followed him upstairs and hid in in the hallway, just so she could be there if Finn accidentally caused a meltdown, and so Kurt didn't hurt Finn. She was surprised, however, by the reaction Finn got. Did Kurt actually speak? She wasn't sure if she heard or not. When the boys got up to go downstairs, Carole rushed ahead of them and back into the kitchen. Finn came skidding in a moment later, talking excitedly about how he and Kurt were going to watch Superman and requesting popcorn. Of course, Carole obliged. She made the boys popcorn, grabbed some juice boxes, and left them to their movie. As much as she wanted to stay, Finn seemed to be having more luck then she was at the moment.

After the movie, Kurt had gone back to his bedroom where he took his dinner. Finn wanted to eat with him but Carole told him to let Kurt be for a while; they didn't want to overwhelm him. Burt came home just before dinner, and Carole told him about the breakthrough. Burt, while just as pleased, was still leery about allowing Finn to spend a lot of time with alone with Kurt. He agreed that with Carole's close supervision, Finn may do Kurt some good.

XXXXX

Finn was persistent. Even as hesitant as Kurt was, Finn was just always there. He was determined to make friends with his new foster brother; he had succeeded in making friends with all the previous foster kids, but Kurt was a tough nut to bust open…or something like that.

As the next 2 weeks wore on, Finn succeeded at getting Kurt out and getting him to speak more and more. Kurt still had meltdowns on a regular basis, and then Finn would call for his mom, who was never outside of earshot, and Kurt still wouldn't talk in front of his parents, though he was better about letting Carole read with him, but he would speak to Finn. He told him he liked soccer, so one afternoon found the boys kicking the ball around the back yard. They used two lawn chairs as goals, and Finn was surprised at how good Kurt actually was. Kurt showed Finn his limited comic book collection, and Finn was astounded.

"Are these originals?" he asked in awe.

"I don't know," admitted Kurt. "I got them from my foster brother a before I left their house." Kurt shut up after that, thinking he had admitted too much. Finn, however, thought the comic books were pretty much the coolest thing ever, and decided he needed to talk to his mom about expanding the collection. He knew Kurt's 9th birthday was coming up. Kurt still liked to spend a lot of alone time in his bedroom, but he was opening up a lot more.

July 6th the Hummels celebrated Kurt's 9th birthday. It was a small thing, as Kurt was in no way ready for any kind of party, but they made him a cake and gave him a small pile of presents, which included several new comic books for his collection. Superman, and Finn had made sure to include a few of his favorites from Marvel in hopes that he and Kurt would have something else to connect on.!

Finn woke up around 9 one morning a few days later, climbing out of bed, using the restroom, and groggily making his way toward the stairs. He noticed Kurt's open door—it was always open—and stopped to peer inside. Kurt was sitting in bed, still in pajamas, reading a book. He looked up as he noticed Finn lingering in the doorway.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" he asked his foster brother.

Kurt shook his head.

"Lets go downstairs…dad's gone by now, and mom can make us pancakes." Kurt thought about it for a moment before nodding. Carole had begun insisting that he eat his meals in the kitchen if Burt wasn't home about a week earlier, and Kurt was rather hungry.

Finn's mom was at the table, reading the paper when the boys walked in. Burt had already left for work.

"Can we have pancakes?" Finn asked. Carole smiled at Kurt's unprompted entrance to the kitchen, and stood up.

"Of course, sweetie," she agreed. "Would you like to help?"

Finn, of course, shook his head. But Kurt looked mildly interested, like he might like to but was afraid to say anything.

"Here, Kurt. Can you measure? We need a cup and a half of flour," she said, taking out the ingredients, a bowl, and a few measuring cups. Kurt nodded, and carefully measured one-handed, his right arm in a sling at his side. It was awkward, but he was determined and managed. Finn, seeing Kurt take part in the baking, decided to help as well. Carole instructed him to measure 1 ¼ cups of milk, which he had to do three times to get it right, but before long the pancakes were sizzling on the fry pan, and Kurt looked more comfortable then they'd had yet to see.

Finn and Kurt watched a movie after breakfast, and then Finn's friend Kyle called and asked him to come over. Finn originally declined; he didn't want to leave Kurt when he was just starting to open up, but his mom told him to go ahead. She said Kurt would be fine for a few hours, and that Finn needed to have fun with his friends. So Finn went to Kyle's, and the two played in the pool at Kyle's apartment for a few hours before Finn's dad picked him up on the way home from work.

"Kurt helped make pancakes today!" Finn told Burt as soon as he hopped in the truck. "And then we watched a movie! He stayed downstairs all morning!"

"Wow, that's amazing, kid. I'm really proud of you, the way you're helping Kurt," Burt told his son. He had adopted Finn when he and Carole married when Finn was 2, and Finn took to calling him dad almost immediately. Burt really was proud of the way his son always stepped up to help the foster kids he and Carole took in, but something was different about this one. Maybe it was because Kurt had so many more problems than most of the kids, but Finn just seemed much more concerned about Kurt, and these days the two were practically inseparable. Finn could be clueless at times and often said things without thinking, but he was a remarkably sweet boy with a good heart and it did worry Burt that things with Kurt would ultimately hurt Finn. But Burt did truly care about Kurt, and was glad Finn was able to talk to him; he hoped Kurt would feel more comfortable around him soon. He wanted to be able to relate to him the way Carole did. He'd come to love and care about all the other foster kids, and he wanted that kind of relationship with Kurt, too.

Finn and Burt entered the kitchen to find Kurt and Carole in the middle of making cookies. There was a batch in the oven, and a batch cooling on the stove. Kurt was in the midst of filling another tray with dough. This was the first time Burt had gotten to see Kurt actually doing something, and he was glad to see it.

"Wow! Something smells good! Did you help make all of these, Kurt?"

Kurt was truly enjoying himself, baking with Carole. He enjoyed listening to her chatter about as they baked the cookies, enjoyed the praise he got for his cooking skills, and just overall enjoyed being able to bake again. It had been a good day; he got to make pancakes—delicious pancakes, too—and watch a movie with Finn, who still seemed to want to spend time with him. When Finn left, Carole convinced him to help her in the garden, and then they made cookies. Kurt found when he was determined, he could actually do a lot with his left arm. He talked to Carole for the first time that day, they had actual conversations, and he found he was quite comfortable with her. They both lost track of time, and Kurt forgot that Burt would be home soon. And then there he was.

Ray. Ray was angry that Kurt helped Laura bake. He said it was a pansy thing to do. Kurt had promised himself that he would _not_ let the Hummels know what a pansy he was, and yet, here he was. And now Burt would be mad, just like Ray was mad. Kurt dropped the spoon full of dough he was holding. It fell to the ground and splattered the dough into the air. He stiffened, and backed into the corner, his bulky casted arm catching the side of a tray of cooling cookies on the way, sending it crashing to the ground.

"No!" Kurt shouted. To the rest of the family, it all happened in slow motion, but too quickly for them to stop it.

"No, I'm sorry," Kurt said, as his back hit the wall. "I didn't mean it, I'm not a pansy, not a pansy, I'm sorry." He inched his way down the wall, until he was curled on the floor.

"Finn, go in the other room," Burt ordered his son. Finn hesitated, watching his foster brother crumble.

"Now Finn!" Burt said, sharply.

"Dad, maybe you should leave too," Finn suggested. He knew his foster brother seemed to fear Burt. But Burt shook his head,

"Do as you're told, Finn. Go up to your room now, we've got this."

Burt didn't know if this was the right thing to do—this could go terribly, terribly wrong. But he was tired of walking on eggshells in his own home. He had to do something, and he wasn't about to give up on Kurt. He slowly moved toward Kurt, not making any fast moves, and staying in Kurt's eyesight.

"Burt—" Carole warned. Burt held his hand out to stop her.

"Kurt, you're ok, nobody's mad at you," he gently told the boy. Kurt screamed. He started bashing his head back against the wall, and flailing his arms. His casted right arm smacked violently into the wall, cracking the drywall, while his left caught the corner of the cabinet. Burt grabbed Kurt's arm, so as not to allow him to hurt himself further, and Kurt's cast connected hard with his eye. He ignored the pain, carrying a flailing Kurt to the living room, where he attempted the hold he'd been taught and witnessed Carole use. Kurt didn't calm down. 10, then 20 minutes passed and he was working himself up. Carole took over thinking it was, perhaps, Burt. The meltdown didn't stop. Burt had to call the crisis team in to help, and when they couldn't they called an ambulance to take him to OSU-Harding hospital. Kurt spent the night in the juvenile mental health facility, and Burt and Carole brought him home the next day, where he avoided Burt more than ever and clung to Finn.

Kurt broke dishes, punched holes in walls, gave both Burt and Carole black eyes and bruises, and destroyed anything in his path when he was in the midst of a meltdown. The little ones would happen multiple times a day, where Carole could usually calm him down by restraining, but the big ones were happening 3-4 times a week. Sometimes he would calm down in a few hours; other times they had to call in the crisis team. Several times, he had to be taken to Harding. At least he was talking to them—or to Carole and Finn—but the meltdowns were increasing.

Kurt started school; he had to, as a foster child they didn't have the option of homeschooling him, but Burt and Carole were incredibly nervous about it. With good reason.

The second day of school, Carole got a call from the school. She had to leave work to pick up Kurt, who while calm when she got there, spent the rest of the day in his room, refusing to speak to anyone.

"He did _what?_" Burt asked, flabbergasted.

"Bit his teacher…he had to go get stitches. And he broke a desk. He's allowed back after the weekend, they know he didn't do it on purpose, but they want to meet with us, Jenny and Dr. Wheeler tomorrow to discuss what we can do to prevent further situations like this," Carole explained.

"Is Dr. Wheeler available?"

"Yes, she said she'd make time for this. We meet tomorrow at 2," Carole replied.

Dr. Wheeler, Kurt's child psychiatrist, suggested to the Hummels after their school meeting that Kurt be admitted to an inpatient treatment program at OSU-Harding, where he could get round-the-clock care and counseling, and could hopefully overcome some of his issues. Carole dismissed the suggestion, stating that she wasn't going to give up on Kurt and send him to some hospital, he belonged in a home. They had a plan in place at school; Kurt didn't have to go to gym or music, where the teachers were male, and he would be allowed to eat his lunch in the special education classroom, where there were less people. Finn was to be allowed to help Kurt in whatever way Kurt needed, but not to be left alone with him at any time. They knew this wasn't a long term solution, but it would work until they figured something else out.

But by the time Christmas rolled around, Kurt had been sent home at least once a week, and the school was threatening expulsion if the Hummels and Kurt's team didn't figure out a better solution.

"I'm _not_ giving up on him, Burt, how could you even suggest something like that?" Carole demanded, when Burt suggested sending Kurt to Harding.

"We wouldn't be giving up on him, baby, we would be getting him the help he needs," Burt pleaded. "After he's better, he would be coming home with us, and maybe then we could be a real family and Kurt could have a real life. Because this, it isn't living honey. This is beyond us; we can't do it on our own. It's not fair to Kurt, or to Finn or to us. If this hospital could help him, why not let them try?"

It took some convincing, but Carole eventually agreed. They went to visit the hospital, and it seemed like a decent place. The ward Kurt would be on was separate from the short-term one he had been in several times previously. It was an inpatient residential program specializing in children with a wide range of mental health disorders. Burt and Carole could visit several times a week, and they would do family counseling with Kurt once a week to prepare him to go home.

So 6 months after they had accepted custody of Kurt, the Hummels brought him to Ohio State University-Harding, Juvenile inpatient mental health facility, where he was to stay for as long as it took.

_Please review! I appreciate the reviews so much! I want to know what you all think! And I'm not entirely sure I'm as pleased with this chapter as I want to be, it went in a different direction than expected. Let me know what you think! I'll have time to write this weekend, so next chapter should be out by Sunday at the latest!_

_Merry Christmas to all and too all a good night! Or Happy Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, or whatever you celebrate!_


	5. Chapter 5

_I'm getting these out way faster than I hoped, but I'm sick so I had time to write today. It's a long one!_

Kurt spent the next six months in Harding. As a ward of the state, the courts had ruled that it was an appropriate placement, and Kurt was eligible to receive treatment with the understanding that he would return to the Hummel's care at the end of his stay. Burt and Carole came three times a week, at least once for family therapy. Sometimes Finn came with them. His time in the hospital taught him self-soothing techniques, and the supervised visitation with Burt in a safe and neutral environment helped him see Burt as separate to Uncle Charles and Mr. Douser. He was able to confront his fears, and what happened to him in the Douser home and learn to deal with that in an appropriate way. He was prescribed anti-anxiety medication to take as needed, and he was put on a dietary regimen to help him sleep at night. Kurt would have a long way to go as he left the hospital, this was something he would probably never get over. His doctors were confident, however, that he and his foster parents had enough control over what caused the meltdowns, how to avoid triggers, and what to do to calm him to be able to send him back to school.

Kurt was upset at the thought of the hospital, but not surprised. In his mind, the Hummels were just another family giving up on him. But as time wore on, and he continued to see the Hummels regularly, and plans were set for when he returned to their home Kurt began to see that they weren't giving up on him at all. He learned to enjoy the hospital; he made good friends with some of the other patients, and learned that he wasn't at all unusual with his needs. He learned that it wasn't his fault, but that it was something he needed to learn how to control. It was summer vacation again by the time Kurt left the hospital when he was nearly ten; he had finished 4th grade via internet correspondence and a tutor at Harding. He would continue to visit Harding twice a week for therapy—something he was happy about. His doctor helped him more than he could have imagined and while he was nervous, he felt like he was ready to go home.

Carole took some time off that summer again, as Kurt came home from the hospital. She wanted to be there to spend time with both boys, and to actually enjoy her time with Kurt. The first day home, Kurt was tentative. He had built a positive relationship with Burt in the hospital, though to date he had never been alone in a room with his foster father. He was verbal with his foster family, and was no longer afraid of them inflicting the abuse he had suffered in the past. But being home with them was a different ballpark to being in the hospital. The family ordered pizza to celebrate Kurt's homecoming, and let Kurt pick out the movie. He chose Homeward Bound, because he felt like he was finally home. He had been terrified that he would lose the closest thing to a family he would ever have again, but the Hummels didn't give up on him.

That night after his shower, Kurt was sitting on his bed reading a comic book. It felt so weird to be back with the Hummels. And yet, so right. He knew the Hummels probably cared about him before, but he didn't realize how much until he was forced to pay attention to it at the hospital. The Hummels went above and beyond what any normal foster family would. He heard a knock, and looked up from his comic book to see Finn standing at the doorway.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Can I come in?" Finn asked. Kurt nodded his consent.

"We missed you," Finn told him. "The house was so empty without you here."

"You mean without me screaming all the time?" Kurt asked, only half joking. While he couldn't help it, it was embarrassing to think about.

"That's not what I mean. I know you couldn't help it…mom said Burt reminded you of…well…anyway, I just missed having someone to hang out with. Your like, really cool to hang with and yeah…I just missed you always being here. It's like, you're my age and all, and we're like, totally different, but you have a lot of cool ideas and stuff. And yeah, I just missed you."

Kurt simply stared at Finn. He didn't really understand why Finn actually seemed to _like _being around him. He thought life would be easier for the Hummels when he was at the hospital, but they all seemed genuinely _happy_ to have him home.

"Thanks Finn," Kurt said, wiping the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "I'm glad I'm home, too. I'm going to try really hard to do better."

"You try, but that's on all of us. We all gotta make sure you feel comfortable here. That's what dad told me. You know, he's a really cool guy. I think if you tried, you would really like him. He'd never hurt you, ever," Finn assured him.

Kurt knew this; they'd talked a lot about his feelings toward Burt in therapy. But he couldn't always help his immediate reaction. It was something he was working on. "I know, Finn. I'm trying, I promise," Kurt answered.

"Alright guys, it's time for bed Finn. It's already past 10," Carole announced, entering Kurt's bedroom.

"Night mom, night Kurt," Finn said, getting up from his spot on the foot of Kurt's bed. Carole pulled him in for a hug.

"Night kiddo, dad will be in to tuck you in," she promised. As Finn left the room, Carole went to Kurt's bed and shifted the blankets out from under him. Kurt wiggled to the side to let her, and climbed underneath when she lifted them. It felt nice to be taken care of. Carole had always tried before the hospital, but Kurt never let her. But Carole expressed her desire to take care of him in family therapy, and Kurt felt a lot more comfortable with it.

"Can I read to you?" Carole asked. Kurt thought he was a little old for that—he was 10 next week—but he'd missed being a kid, and decided he didn't care if he was too old. He nodded, settling back on his pillow as Carole picked up the book he'd been reading in the hospital, _The Giver._ Burt stopped in before she could start reading.

"Good night, Kurt," he said, lingering at the doorway. Kurt smiled up at him.

Good night, Burt," he replied.

"I'm really glad you're home," Burt told him. "Finn asked if we could go to the park tomorrow. He wants to have a picnic lunch and bring a few lawn games. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?"

Kurt nodded. That did sound like fun—just some time with the family in a neutral setting. He'd been on picnics with the Carsons and always enjoyed them. "Can we bring cookies?" Kurt asked with a smile.

"Of course, kiddo," Burt replied. "You sleep well, and if you have a nightmare and we don't wake up, remember what we talked about. You can always come to get us, alright?" Kurt nodded his approval. He remembered. Burt left and Carole read a chapter in his book before leaving to let Kurt get some sleep. That night, Kurt had no nightmares.

XXXXX

The next day the family went on their picnic. Kurt had a fantastic time. The four of them played soccer—boys against parents. The boys won. At lunch Burt asked Kurt what he'd like to do for his birthday, which was just a few days away. Kurt really didn't have enough friends for a party. He'd spent too much of his time before the hospital trapped in his own head to really get to know anyone.

"Could we go out for pizza?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Burt answered.

"And you got a ton of awesome gifts!" Finn piped in. "I can't wait to share them with you!"

The four of them laughed, glad to finally be able to enjoy some time together.

Things went well as the week progressed. Kurt still flinched when Burt moved to quickly or did something he wasn't expecting, but never sent him into meltdown mode. When Finn's friend Kyle came over, the three of them played video games. Kurt was surprised at how well Kyle accepted him. He had always kept his distance, before.

Kurt had a fantastic birthday. He got some money from Burt and Carole, Carole promising to take him shopping for a new summer wardrobe. She knew she couldn't buy him clothes like she did Finn—Kurt was much more picky. And Kurt appreciated that. He excitedly pulled her into a hug, which she returned, trying not to show her surprise. He got a new bike, which Kurt thought Finn was more excited about then he was. Kurt had never ridden a bike before, but Finn was so excited and Kurt didn't want to hurt his feelings. Kurt got the _Sound of Music_ soundtrack. His mother's favorite musical. He had mentioned it to his foster parents in therapy once, and they remembered. He stammered out his thanks, and leaned over to the other side of the couch to give Burt a quick side hug—the first he'd ever initiated. Burt had to hide his face to wipe his tears.

After presents, Finn begged Kurt to go for a quick ride on their bikes. They weren't going to leave for pizza for a few hours yet, and Finn was ridiculously excited to get Kurt out on his bike. When Kurt looked terrified, Burt leaned over and asked him what was wrong. Kurt hesitantly admitted he'd never ridden a bike. It wasn't something the Carsons did, and that was the only home he could have learned at. They didn't live in an area that was safe for bike-riding. Rural, with busy highways and no sidewalks.

"Kurt, do you trust me? At all?" Burt asked.

Kurt hesitated. That was a hard question…did he trust Burt? Yes. He trusted Burt. He just didn't trust himself to always remember Burt _was Burt_. Kurt nodded.

"Will you let me help you learn?"

"Will I fall down?" Kurt asked, nervously.

"You may, but you'll be wearing elbow and knee pads, and a helmet. And if you fall, I'll be right there to help you back up, what do you think?" Burt was almost as nervous about this as Kurt…he didn't want to trigger another flashback and this was something knew for them. But they couldn't keep living on eggshells, Kurt needed to _live. _And he really wanted this opportunity to do something fun with Kurt, even if it could backfire.

Kurt thought about it. As nervous as he was, Finn had done so much for him and he wanted to be able to ride his bike with Finn. And he wanted to learn to trust Burt. He didn't even promise that he wouldn't fall…just that he'd be there when he did. And more than that, he wanted to prove to the Hummels that he was truly much better. He could be around Burt without freaking out. Tentatively, Kurt nodded his head, and Burt handed him one last present with a smile. Inside, was a helmet, elbow, knee and hand pads.

"Excellent!" Finn exclaimed. Kurt nodded, still nervous, and Finn helped him get strapped up. Burt fixed the straps on the helmet so they would fit Kurt, and Carole sat on the chair, tearfully watching the exchange between her husband and foster son. As difficult as it was, the intense treatment Kurt had received truly seemed to help her foster son.

Kurt sat nervously on the bike, Burt holding him up by the handlebars.

"I'm going to run behind you, holding the bike seat," he told his foster son. "When you're going fast enough, I'll let go. You just need to peddle pretty hard to keep the bike going and yourself balanced. Do you remember how to stop?"

"Peddle backwards," Kurt replied.

"Yes, but do it slowly. Don't just slam your feet backwards or your bike will stop too suddenly and you may fall," Burt reminded him. "Are you ready?"

Kurt took a deep breath and nodded. He could do this. Finn was next to him on his bike, ready to keep pace and encourage Kurt, while Carole was next to Burt watching. She wanted Burt to be able accomplish this activity with Kurt, she knew it was important for both of them.

Burt took his place behind Kurt, grabbing hold under the bike seat, and informed Kurt to start peddling. Kurt fell three times before he got the hang of it, but he wasn't going fast enough to get hurt, and Burt was right there every time to pull him back to his feet. By the fourth time, when Burt let go, Kurt kept going. He rode fast, and felt like he was flying. It wasn't scary—it was FUN! The wind was blowing in his face, and Kurt was keeping his balance perfectly, peddling quickly. Kurt made it to the end of the block, Finn riding alongside him, before he _slowly_ put the breaks on, and quickly dropped his feet to the ground when the bike stopped.

"I did it!" He exclaimed, elatedly looking at Finn. "Did you see that, Finn? I did it!" Kurt couldn't believe he'd _actually_ accomplished it! He didn't think he could do it, and now that he had, he was ecstatic!

Finn jumped off his bike and pulled Kurt into a hug. "You did it!" he exclaimed. Kurt immediately tensed and shied away, and Finn let him go. "Sorry," he told his foster brother.

Kurt took a second to breathe, "no, it's OK, I just wasn't expecting it, I'm fine," he assured Finn. By this time, Burt and Carole had made it to the end of the block.

"That was amazing, kiddo!" Burt congratulated him. Kurt smiled widely.

"Can I try starting on my own?" he asked his foster parents.

"Yeah, go for it. I'm right here if you need me," Burt promised.

"You have to start standing up, get one foot on at a time and just start pushing," Finn advised. "If you start sitting down, you'll fall over."

Kurt was able to get moving by the second try, and he and Finn raced back to the house, where Kurt pumped the breaks slightly so he could turn into the driveway. He safely stopped the bike and climbed off.

"Can we go for a bike ride? All of us?" Finn asked, when his parents made it back to the house.

"I don't know, Kurt just started, I'm not sure he's up for that," Burt replied.

"Yes, please!" exclaimed Kurt, excited to keep working on his new skill. So Burt and Carole gathered their helmets and bikes, and the four of them went on a bike ride around the neighborhood. They stopped at the local Dairy Queen, where Kurt got a free ice cream because it was his birthday, and then at the park on the way home, where Kurt and Finn competed on how high they could swing. Finn suggested a jumping contest, but Carole quickly vetoed that.

"Kurt hasn't been out of a cast that long, he's not getting another one. And neither are you," she conceded.

They got home, and got ready to go out for pizza at an organ place that played fun music really loud. Finn told them it was Kurt's birthday, so the whole place sang him Happy Birthday, and Kurt wasn't even _that_ embarrassed; though Burt scolded Finn firmly for drawing so much attention to Kurt and risking a trigger. Finn apologized, red faced. Kurt just shook it off…it had been uncomfortable, but he was quite proud of himself for _not_ freaking out.

The next day Carole took Kurt on the promised shopping trip for his desperately needed new wardrobe. She let Kurt get a bit crazy and pick out whatever he wanted. She'd never realized what a little…fashionista the kid was. He even picked out a few beautiful ensembles for her, too! Kurt loved the trip. He'd never been allowed to pick out whatever clothes he wanted. Even at the Carsons, he got a lot of Matt's hand-me-downs. Carole didn't let him go too far overboard, but she let him pick what he wanted within the budget.

XXXXX

Summer continued. Kurt and Finn were practically inseparable. Kurt was introduced to Finn's group of friends, and he got along with them quite well. They rode bikes, played soccer, and Carole taught Kurt to swim. While Finn and his friends weren't into the kinds of things Kurt truly enjoyed, he hadn't gotten to play the way he liked in so long and he was content just being a part of the group of boys. Burt and Carole still wouldn't allow Kurt to go to the park without one of them, as they couldn't control the environment. They knew that eventually they'd have to allow him these freedoms, but it was still so new and Kurt was just starting to get better.

Carole eventually had to go back to work, and her mother stayed with the boys during the day. Kurt was quite comfortable with Lorraine Reynolds, or Grandma Lorrie, and she adored the time she got with the boys. She had moved back into town while Kurt was in the hospital to spend more time with her grandchildren.

Kurt still did have difficult moments, especially at night. As comfortable as Kurt was becoming around Burt, when Kurt was having a nightmare Burt could _not_ be the one to comfort him. Kurt's almost nightly nightmares usually centered around Ray and Uncle Charles, so big, scruffy Burt was the last person he wanted near him. But Burt didn't take it personally, and Kurt had usually forgotten about it by the next day.

Kurt also had a problem with men he didn't know. When Carol's car broke down, she had to take Burt's to work. When Burt's coworker came to pick Burt up with a tow truck to tow Carole's car to the shop, he stopped in for a cup of coffee. He was a large, beefy man in a greasy jumpsuit, and the moment Kurt saw him he dropped the full glass of milk and bowl of cereal he was carrying from the counter to the table. Food was splattered everywhere, and Kurt went into flashback mode. After 2 hours, the crisis team arrived and Kurt was able to calm down. Burt stayed home from work that day, and was pleased and surprised that Kurt didn't have a problem with him, even after the emotional flashback. He was embarrassed, and apologized relentlessly, but Burt shrugged it off, saying it wasn't a big deal.

Kurt knew it was, though. It was embarrassing. He thought he was getting better, and then that..._man_ entered the house, and he just reminded Kurt so much of Mr. Douser. And suddenly it felt like he was back at that house with Mr. Douser advancing at him. It took Kurt a long time to calm down, but to him it was like no time had passed. He wasn't aware of his surroundings, he wasn't aware of who was in the room with him, though on some level he _knew_ he was safe, he couldn't snap himself out of it. He hoped the flashback wouldn't cause the Hummels to send him back to the hospital. When he had finally calmed down, Burt told him he would stay home from work. Kurt was inwardly pleased. He wasn't sure why Burt was scary in the first place. Sure, he still sometimes flinched when he moved to fast, but really, that was anybody. Burt had never laid an unfriendly hand on him, and Kurt found himself in the past few weeks, comfortable enough to casually touch him, or even fall asleep against him as he had the night before.

A few weeks later, the family was grocery shopping. There was a man there with his little boy, who was laying in the middle of the isle throwing a fit. Carole smiled in empathy and gratefulness that she no longer had to deal with that; Finn had not been an easy toddler to go shopping with. She had noted, however, that Kurt was paying attention to the duo. Afraid this would cause some sort of trigger, she began trying to usher him away. But when his father continued to ignore him, the little boy grabbed a couple cans of soup off the shelf and started throwing them. The father grabbed the boys arm, took the soup away, turned him to the side and landed a few swift swats to the child's bottom.

"That's _enough_, I said!" He exclaimed to his tearful child.

It happened too quickly for Burt or Carole to react.

The moment the man spanked his child, Kurt was thrown several years back in time. The little boy wasn't this man's child—it was his sister Lucy. And the man wasn't some random stranger in the grocery store—it was Uncle Charles. And Kurt was bigger now then he was back then. He could take him now. And he was _not_ going to allow his Uncle to hurt Lucy, not_ ever._

Kurt did it without thinking. He ran at the man. While Kurt, at 10, wasn't all that strong, he had surprise and adrenaline on his side and the man fell to the ground. Kurt wrapped his hands around the man's neck, straddling his stomach.

"You. Don't. Touch. Her!" he shouted. "Never touch her again, never touch her! I'm gonna kill you before I let you touch her!" The man got his bearings, and started trying to get Kurt off of him. Burt, meanwhile, grabbed Kurt around the stomach, Carole pried his hands away from the man's neck and pulled him off. Kurt continued to flail, trying to get back to the man.

"NO! Lucy, run, get out of here!" Burt continued to carry a flailing Kurt to the car. Kurt continued screaming and flailing

Kurt continued to scream and flail, trying to get away. Neither Burt nor Carole could calm him down, and as Kurt refused to stay seated and kept trying to get out of the car, they couldn't go anywhere. Kurt finally managed to escape the vehicle and ran into the parking lot, where a police officer chased him and caught up with him. Kurt's screams got worse, and he started trying to beat up on the officer. The officer managed to get handcuffs on him and belted him in the middle seat in the back of the police car, where he couldn't reach anything to hurt himself on.

The officer ordered Burt and Carole to both place their hands on the police vehicle, where he padded them both down before having them sit on the curb. Finn stood off to the side watching, tears falling down his cheeks.

"What is going on here?" the officer demanded.

"He's our foster son," Burt explained, Carole being much too emotional at the moment. "He has PTSD, he was severely abused. A man in the grocery store disciplined his son and Kurt had a flashback; he seemed to think it as his sister in danger. It happens once in a while, when something triggers it, but it's not normally this bad," he told the officer.

"Do you have any kind of proof of his condition?" the officer asked.

"He was in the hospital for awhile, his doctors will confirm it," Burt assured him. "If you'll give me my phone, I need to call his crisis team to come and try to calm him down," Burt requested. The officer had taken his phone when he frisked him. Not that Burt was offended, he had to admit the whole situation looked bad.

The officer handed Burt his phone, who got Kurt's main crisis therapist on the phone. She was on call that day, but was with another client and couldn't leave. Nobody on Kurt's team was available at that moment, so the therapist told Burt he'd have to get Kurt to Harding if he didn't calm down. The officer agreed to drive them, and Carole got in the back of the car with Kurt to try to talk to him, while Burt and Finn drove behind. The other officer on the scene stayed behind to talk to the man Kurt attacked.

Kurt was given a sedative at the hospital, and when he came to several hours later, he was disoriented and confused. He remembered none of what had happened, but his head hurt and his hand throbbed. He looked down and noticed there was a bandage wrapped around it. Kurt immediately recognized his surroundings, and knew he had to be in Harding. A moment later Carole came through the door, and immediately went to Kurt and placed a tentative hand on his shoulder. When Kurt wrapped his arms around her and began crying, she moved him over so she could join him on the bed, and lifted him into her lap.

"It's OK," she assured him. "Everything's going to be fine. You don't even have to spend the night here, they'll discharge you right away."

"I'm sorry," Kurt cried into her shoulder. He wasn't sure what happened, but he recalled seeing the crying boy in the grocery store, and that was the last thing he remembered. "What happened?" he asked Carole.

"You had a flashback at the store," she answered. She knew it was no good trying to hide things from him, but he didn't need to know the extent of it right now. Not until his psychiatrist was with him, anyway. "We had a hard time calming you down and couldn't drive, so a police officer helped us get you here," she explained.

Things had turned out alright. The man didn't press charges. In fact, he felt horrible for being the cause of such a horrible flashback, and vowed to find other ways of dealing with his son in a public setting. But Kurt was mortified and extremely apologetic.

XXXXX

As Kurt's comfort level with the Hummels increased, they decided to lay down their expectations of his behavior and chores. It wasn't that he didn't have rules before, it was just that they were so busy trying to deal with all the other issues that trying to push the house rules on him was too much. He was now expected to do his part in helping around the house and keeping his temper in check when he _could_ help it. He was to follow the rules. With this, he got more freedom, but he was also held accountable where he wasn't before. With this came the phase Burt and Carole had been expecting and prepared for. The testing phase. It was one they had gone through with every single one of their foster children, and expected no differently from Kurt.

Kurt knew now that Burt and Carole weren't going to give up on him or hurt him in any way, but this whole "rules and chores" thing was something he had hoped he wouldn't have to deal with. Just as he was really starting to enjoy himself, they go and throw that at him. And so, he started trying to see what he could get away with. He started with small things, like going upstairs instead of helping clean the kitchen. Burt followed him and told him they were all a part of the family, and cleaning up was everybody's responsibility, so he could either come downstairs and help, or miss out on the desert the rest of them would enjoy during the movie. Desert was only for people who helped, after all. Kurt ignored him. While he loved being called 'one of the family,' he doubted Burt was serious, and he was kind of curious as to what would happen if he chose not to obey. He stayed in his room until he thought they were done, then came downstairs to find the family sitting in the living room each eating a piece of pie.

"Hey, what do you think: _Lion King_ or _Mulan_ for tonight?" Burt asked Kurt as he entered the living room.

"Can I have some?" Kurt asked. He knew Burt couldn't be serious about not letting him have desert…it was apple pie, after all. It smelled amazing; his mouth was watering.

"I told you earlier, desert is for those of us that take part in the family chores," Burt told him. "There will be some left over, you can have a piece tomorrow if you do your chores."

"That's not fair!" Kurt exclaimed. Or maybe it was fair…he had been warned, and he knew what Carole was making for desert, but he really wanted a piece of pie! He started heading toward the kitchen to get himself a piece, but Burt stood up and blocked his way.

"Kurt," he said sternly, "you know the rules, they've been explained to you. I know this is new, but everybody else in this house follows the rules and you will be from now on as well. Now, have a seat so we can watch the movie."

Kurt stomped on Burt's foot. It wasn't _fair._ He wanted apple pie! Instantly realizing what he did, however, he gasped.

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, but Burt was already leading him into the kitchen. This was the first time Kurt would be alone with Burt, and he was in trouble! He started tensing, but Burt simply put his hand on Kurt's back.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Kurt, calm down," he told Kurt gently. Kurt did try to calm down. Burt wasn't going to hurt him…but he didn't know what Burt _was_ going to do. Burt led him to the kitchen table and told him to take a seat, and sat down across from him.

"When I'm upset with you, have I ever hurt you?" He asked Kurt.

Kurt shook his head.

"Then what makes you think you have the right to hurt me?" he asked.

Kurt looked at him with tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to."

"That's what happens when people can't control their tempers, Kurt. They do things they don't mean to and end up hurting other people. I don't really care if you meant to or not, you are allowed to be upset, but you are absolutely _not_ allowed to hurt anybody as a result of it. I don't do that to you, and I don't expect you to do it to anyone else," Burt scolded sternly.

"Desert is a privilege, not a right. You knew that if you didn't come help clean up, you wouldn't be getting any. You had no reason to be mad at me about it. Now, I'm setting the timer for 10 minutes. You are to sit here quietly and think about how you're going to control your anger. If you get off this chair for any reason the time starts over. Got it?"

Kurt nodded, and Burt got up to start the timer and went back into the living room.

Kurt had silent tears running down his face. How could he be so stupid? Here he was, terrified of Burt hurting him, and he's the one that had lashed out in anger. Burt was right. Uncle Charles couldn't control his anger, and Kurt always ended up getting hurt as a result. But Burt _did_ control his anger; even when Kurt stomped on his foot, he simply told him to sit at the kitchen table.

After the time was up, Burt talked to him about his temper a bit more, and then suggested they go watch the movie. Kurt agreed, and the two re-entered the living room, where Carole and Finn were talking.

"Can we watch Mulan?" he asked. Burt nodded and handed him the DVD, and Kurt got up to put it in.

The Hummels had a rule that Kurt wasn't allowed to ride his bike very far without them. Had it just been Finn, they would have allowed him to ride to the playground a few blocks away, but they weren't comfortable with Kurt being there without them. He still had flashbacks, and since they couldn't control the environment in public places they wanted to be with him when he was out. They did allow the boys to ride up and down the block (they lived on a cul-de-sac on a private street on a small hill, where traffic was scarce, so it was the perfect place for the boys to ride), but they weren't to leave the block. Kurt felt they were being overprotective, and so one day convinced Finn to ride with him to the playground. Finn was leery about doing so, knowing they weren't allowed but it was hard to say no to Kurt. When Carole found them an hour later, she sternly ordered them to go straight home. The boys beat her home, as she had to pick up the take out for dinner that night, but Burt was home.

"Where were you?" he asked as soon as the boys walked in the door.

"We went to the park," Finn answered, finding his shoes extremely interesting.

"The park? Seriously? You both know better!" Burt exclaimed, angrily. He could see Kurt tense up and take a step backward, and while he wanted Kurt to know he was upset he didn't want to trigger a flashback.

"Go sit on the couch, both of you," he told them, pointing toward the living room.

Kurt was apprehensive, as he was every time he got in trouble, which was a few times now. Burt never hurt him in any way, and was always fair but Kurt had never done anything so deliberately disobedient before.

"Are we gonna be in trouble?" Kurt asked Finn as they sat beside each other on the couch.

"Yeah, probably," Finn mumbled, but upon seeing Kurt's scared expression, he continued, "but it won't be that bad, don't worry. We'll probably just be grounded for a little bit, he's not going to hit you or anything like that," he assured his brother.

"He was angry, and so was Carole," Kurt pointed out.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean they're gonna hurt you," Finn replied, placing a protective arm around his brother's shoulders.

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble," Kurt apologized.

"Don't worry about it…I kinda knew it was a bad idea," Finn replied.

10 minutes later, Carole arrived home with the food, and after having a conversation in the kitchen, they w/nt to talk to the boys.

When asked what they were thinking, Kurt replied that at 10, they were perfectly capable of riding their bikes the 4 blocks to the playground. Carole explained, again, how it wasn't that they didn't trust the boys, it was that they didn't want anything to happen when they weren't there to help. They hated to deny Kurt privileges when he knew full well that it was because of the PTSD, but they didn't really have another choice. Both boys ended up grounded for the next 2 days, and would have to remain indoors where their parents would know what they were up to, because apparently they couldn't be trusted to follow rules when they were allowed to play outside. They were then released to do as they pleased in the house. As the boys got out the video games, Kurt was astonished. This grounded thing wasn't so bad…he still had Finn to play with, he just wasn't allowed outside.

As summer vacation wore on, Kurt had his ups and downs. He had his meltdowns, but they were less and less frequent. His relationship with Burt was a vast improvement, and he and Finn had truly become best friends. He had made pretty good friends with a few kids in Finn's "gang" and he was actually looking forward to going to school with these kids. Kurt tried to be "one of the boys" as much as possible. Finn simply wasn't into a lot of the stuff he was into, though the Hummels made sure he knew he could be whoever he wanted, right now he simply wanted to fit in. He wanted friends. He and Finn fought sometimes, but they always made up when they realized life was pretty boring when they were mad at each other. He still had flashbacks, Burt still couldn't comfort him during his frequent nightmares, and Kurt still wasn't allowed in public places without Burt or Carole, but the family truly loved Kurt, and Kurt loved them back.

At the end of summer vacation, after the family had gotten home from their back-to-school shopping, eaten dinner, and were settling down for the evening, Burt and Carole sat Kurt down and told him that they'd talked to Jenny about the possibility of adoption, and wanted to know what his thoughts on it were.

Kurt thought about it momentarily, before getting up and racing to his room, slamming the door.

_I've thanked everyone that I could individually for the reviews, but I'd like to say a further thanks to Megan, "guest" and Jake. You all give some fantastic reviews and I enjoy reading them and taking them into account as I write._


	6. Chapter 6

_Still sick...so here ya'll go :) _

Kurt was in his room, crying over a folded and battered picture he had carried with him for the past 6 years. It was usually tucked in a comic book, but had been moved around so many times, splashed with so many tears, it was now pretty battered and old looking. But the smiling faces staring up at him remained the same. Jacob, Lilly, Lucy and Kurt Jackson and their beloved dog Macho holding a ball. Kurt was trying to pull the ball out of Macho's mouth, while Lucy was leaning over him, a huge grin on her face. Lilly and Jacob were sitting on a chair behind them.

It had been a week since Carole and Burt had expressed their desire to adopt Kurt, and Kurt had run out on him. Carole tried to talk to him about it later, but Kurt didn't want to and hadn't brought it up since. It wasn't that he didn't want to be adopted, it was that he had gone through the process before. He lost his parents, he lost the Carsons, and he didn't want to lose the Hummels. And thinking about being adopted made him think about Lucy. He had lost her when she got adopted, her adoptive parents took her away from him and wouldn't let him talk to her anymore. Kurt wondered where she was now. He wondered if she was happy with her adoptive family, or if she was back in the system somewhere. He wondered if she ever thought about him. He hoped she was happy, and that her adoptive family loved her, but he missed her. He wondered what she looked like now, and if he would recognize her if he saw her on the streets. He hadn't seen her since he was 5 years old, 4 ½ years ago. He knew he looked a lot different than he did when he was 5, he was sure she did, too.

School had started the previous week, Kurt was in 5th grade now, and for the most part he enjoyed it. His foster parents had made sure he got the female 5th grade teacher, and he was in Finn's class. Several of Finn's friends were also in the class, and Kurt got along pretty well with them, but he had made a few friends of his own: Sophia and Katie. After school, the boys went to the after school program until Carole or Burt picked them up between 4 and 5. So the family was pretty busy now, and Kurt didn't bring the adoption up, and Burt and Carole didn't mention it.

But now it was Friday, and Kurt was lying in bed, thinking about what it would mean to be adopted. He wondered what his parents would have him do. Would they want him to be adopted? Would they like the Hummels? Kurt liked to think they would, he thought Lilly would have liked Carole a lot, but his parents died almost 6 years ago, and Kurt couldn't remember her all that well. And that thought made him even more sad.

Kurt looked up when Burt knocked on the door and quickly wiped his tears.

"You okay?" Burt asked as he entered, and perched on the end of Kurt's bed.

Kurt hesitated before answering, but finally handed Burt the worn picture.

"This is my family," Kurt told him with a shaky voice. He pointed at Lilly. "This is my mom. Her name was Lilly Elizabeth Jackson, and she was beautiful. She was a waitress, and her favorite musical was Sound of Music. That's why my name is Kurt." Kurt pointed to his father, who was smiling down at his children with an arm around his wife. "That's my dad. His name was Jacob Daniel Jackson, and he was a construction man. He fixed roads. He played the guitar really good. My mom sang really good, and me and Lucy liked to dance. They both had really good voices. My sister Lucy Elizabeth," he said, pointing to the little girl leaning over the dog, "we're twins. She was with me at Aunt Lindsey's and Uncle Charles' but then she was adopted and I haven't seen her since then. I miss her a lot. Sometimes I think she's someone I see on the street, but then I don't know if I'd still recognize her if I did see her. Our dog was Macho. After my dad died we had to give him away because he wasn't allowed in the shelter we stayed in or our new apartment." Kurt paused and looked up at his foster father, who had tears running down his cheeks. "I miss my family a lot, but I don't remember them that much and that makes me really sad, because I don't ever want to forget them. "

This was the first time Kurt had ever talked about his family or much of his past at all to his foster parents. Burt moved so he was sitting against the headboard, and pulled Kurt so he was leaning against him. A simple touch like this, that not long ago would have had Kurt having a complete meltdown. Now, he enjoyed the contact and comfort (on his own terms), and relaxed into Burt's arms.

"They look like nice people," Burt said. "I'm sure we would have liked them very much."

"Really?" asked Kurt, "I hope they would have liked you, but I don't really remember them so much. This is the only picture I have of them. There was so much stuff in our apartment, but I don't know where it all went when my mom died. I never went back there after the accident, my Aunt Lindsey picked me up from the hospital and brought me to Colorado."

"I think all good parents who love their children want what's best for them," Burt answered. "And I can tell by this picture that your parents loved you very much. And I know that they're smiling in heaven because you found a home you're happy at. You are happy here, right?"

"Yes!" Kurt answered, quickly. "I just…The Carsons almost adopted me. Did you know that? They went through all the things they have to go through to adopt me and Emma, and then Mr. Carson got cancer, and Jenny took me away."

"And you're afraid something similar might happen with us?" Burt asked, pulling Kurt closer.

"Nothing lasts forever," Kurt replied.

"Kurt, I can't promise that nobody's going to get cancer, because those things are beyond our control. Your mother, she didn't know anything was going to happen to her, and maybe she didn't have anyone that she knew would take good care of you and your sister. There are lots of reasons people don't have a will, but Carole and I do. Do you know what a will is?" Kurt shook his head. "A will is something that states where a person's things will go, or children will go, if something should happen to them. So, if something happened to me and Carole, before anybody took Finn they would look at our will, and see that we want him to go to Carole's sister. And if we adopted you, the same thing would happen. You wouldn't go back into foster care. If Carole's sister couldn't take you, we have a whole slew of other relatives that would not let anything else bad happen to you. But I don't foresee anything happening to Carole or I, and I don't think that's something we have to worry about."

"You would add me to your will?" Kurt asked, in awe. That sounded like a pretty big deal…and like a pretty good thing, if it meant he wouldn't have to go back into foster care.

"In a heartbeat. The very same day we adopted you," Burt promised.

"Would I change my name to Hummel? Call you mom and dad?" Kurt asked.

"If you wanted, you could change your name to Hummel. Or we could hyphen it…Jackson-Hummel. That would be up to you. And if you felt comfortable, Carole and I would love to be your mom and dad. But you know we'd never take away your parents, Kurt. We could never replace them. But our hearts are big enough to love more than just a few people, you know?"

"Maybe Jackson could be my middle name?" Kurt suggested. "I could be Kurt Jacob Jackson Hummel!"

"I think that sounds like a great idea," Burt replied, kissing the top of Kurt's head. "Does that mean you want to be adopted?"

"If you're sure you want me…you aren't going to change your mind, though…are you?" Kurt asked.

"Never, Kurt. Never," Burt replied. "You know, I can help you get this photo restored, if you want. There are photo restoration companies that take old photos and make them look new. What do you think?"

"Would I have to give them my picture?" Kurt asked. He wasn't OK with parting with the picture, even if he would get back a better copy.

"Just for a little while. Just think about it, OK? Maybe I could take you to talk to the place that would do it, and you can make your decision then."

"OK, I'll think about it," Kurt agreed. "I'm tired now."

"Can I read to you tonight?" Kurt nodded, and Burt picked up the book he'd left on his bedside table.

"Finn read these," he said, opening it up to the marked page.

"He gave it to me to read," Kurt replied, "but I've been waiting for this part…I think this is where stuff starts happening!"

Burt nodded and began reading to Kurt for the first time since they got him. This was usually Carole's thing.

"The door swung open at once. A tall, black haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern face and Harry's first thought was that this was not someone to cross.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

_Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, p. 113_

Burt finished the chapter a while later, and Kurt was starting to fall asleep. He leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Night Burt," Kurt mumbled.

"Night kiddo, I love you," Burt told the boy he now thought of as a son. He turned off the lights and left the door cracked. Carole had tucked Finn in tonight, so he went to say his goodnights.

As Kurt lay in bed, he thought about how similar he and Harry Potter were. They both lost their parents at a young age, too young to remember them a whole lot. They both went to live with relatives who didn't want them, who neglected them or abused them. Harry didn't think his happy ending would be finding out he was a wizard and going to a fancy magic school, but he did find his happy ending. He did find a family who loved him. Why was he so afraid to be adopted?

That night as Burt and Carole were snuggled on the couch, Burt with his beer and Carole with her glass of wine, watching _The Late Show_, Burt brought up his conversation with Kurt.

"He _wants _to be adopted?" she asked, "are you sure that's what he said?"

"Yeah, he told me about his family. He has this old, torn photo of them, and at the end he said he was afraid that the same thing would happen with us as happened with the Carsons. He was afraid of losing us."

"Oh Burt," Carole leaned up to kiss her husband. "I wonder if there's any way we could let him visit the Carsons. That had to have been hard," Carole suggested.

"We could try, but we'd better talk to them before we let Kurt, and talk to the doctor, make sure this isn't going to backtrack him. I really want to find Lucy, though. Kurt needs his sister."

XXXXX

The next evening the family was sitting down to lasagna, when Kurt spoke up. He'd been getting up the courage for a while, because he knew it was what Mr. Douser would call a "pansy" thing to do, but he didn't think the Hummels would mind and if he didn't join now, he would lose his chance. They weren't going to be accepting registrations much longer.

"Burt, Carole, I have a question," he said.

When all attention was on him, he continued, taking a deep breath and talking very quickly.

"Katie and Sophia are in a dance class, they're going to be in the _Nutcracker_, and they said there are boys that do it too, and they are looking for a few more boys to join before they start assigning parts. I would like to join…do you think that would be OK?" Kurt finished, quickly looking down at his plate. He'd never actually asked the Hummels for anything like this, before. To join something.

Burt and Carole looked at each other. "Well," Burt began. "I know you contemplated soccer, Kurt. You can join whatever you want, and we will support you no matter what you choose, we'll go to all of your shows. But you'll probably only have time for one. Is this something you'd like to do in place of soccer?"

Kurt took a moment to think, but nodded his head. "I really want to do this," he told his parents. "I like soccer, but it's more fun when we just play for fun. I really think I'd like performing…but I won't do it if you don't think it's a good idea…" Kurt replied, looking up at his foster parents.

"I think its fine," Carole replied, "But maybe we should bring it up with Dr. Wheeler. Are the teachers men or women?"

Kurt nodded enthusiastically. "Ones a man, ones a woman. But I don't think I'd have a problem with him, I'll try really hard not to," Kurt replied.

"Well, I'd like to sit in on your first few practices, just so I can be there if something does happen," Carole replied, "But if this is what you want to do, then we're proud of you."

Kurt looked hopefully at Burt.

"Completely proud of you, Kurt," he assured.

Finn sat quietly, staring down at his lasagna, not saying a word.

XXXXX

Burt and Carole went with Kurt to talk to the instructor and sign him up for the class. They met with the young man, small, skinny, and in his 20s, who was extremely nice and didn't seem like the type of guy Kurt would have a problem with. Still, Carole asked Kurt to go in the hall for a moment, and explained to the young man that, without going into detail, Kurt was a kid with a traumatic past and sometimes had flashbacks. She asked the man to keep it to himself, but explained that bigger men seemed to always trigger flashbacks. The man—Cory—seemed to understand. He said he'd keep it to himself, but keep an eye on Kurt for any signs of trouble. He took both Burt and Carole's number so he wouldn't have to search for it in the event of an emergency, and agreed to Carole sitting in on the first few practices, which usually wasn't allowed.

"And you're sure you're going to be OK with the instructor?" Carole triple checked.

"Carole, _yes_," Kurt repeated for the tenth time. "I'm not afraid of him at all, he's fine. And the whole class will always be there!" Kurt assured her.

XXXXX

Between Kurt's three times a week _Nutcracker_ practices, and Finn's twice a week flag football practice, both Burt and Carole's work schedules, and Kurt's twice a week appointments with his psychiatrist, the family was busy. So busy, that the parents didn't notice the tension between the boys. On Friday, dinner was a silent affair. Carole and Burt attempted to make conversation, but the boys offered one-word answers.

"So, Kurt, how is practice going? Do you have a part yet?" Burt asked.

"They're assigning parts next week," Kurt answered, going back to his chicken.

"Finn? First big game coming up tomorrow…you excited?" Burt asked.

"It's just flag football…next year will be better," Finn replied dejectedly.

"Can Katie and Sophia come over tomorrow?" Kurt asked his foster parents. He wanted to hang out with them, but wasn't allowed at their house because their parents weren't approved respite providers.

"Tomorrow is Finn's game," Carole replied.

"Well after the game I mean? Can they maybe sleep over?"

"I don't see why not," Burt answered.

Finn stood up, knocking his chair over and stalking toward the door without picking it up.

"Finn!" Burt called. Finn paused, turning to Burt. A grand exit wasn't worth being in trouble for disrespect.

"Pick up your chair and sit down," Burt ordered. Finn did as bidden, and Burt continued. "What's the problem?"

"He's just mad because I have friends," Kurt interjected.

"I'm talking to Finn, Kurt. What's the problem, Finn?"

Finn didn't answer. He simply crossed his arms and sunk back in his chair.

"Can I be excused?" he asked.

"Go ahead, but we're talking about this tonight," Burt answered. As Finn left the room, Carole turned to Kurt.

"Do you know what's going on with him?" she asked her foster son.

"Finn wants me to play with him and his friends all the time. I like playing with Finn, but he doesn't like the things I do with Katie and Sophia, and I like playing with them, too. He has his own friends at school, why can't I have mine? Now he doesn't want me to play with him at all. I still want to play with him, I just want to play with Katie and Sophia, too," was the reply.

"I think Finn just got used to you needing him so much. Now that you're doing so well on your own, I think he misses having you around all the time. It's perfectly fine for you to play with Sophia and Katie, Kurt. Finn will get over it," Burt promised.

"So, tell us about rehearsal," Carole prompted.

"Cory told me he's impressed I've never had formal instruction! He said I was a natural, and that I'm very graceful!" Kurt gushed.

Carole and Burt were very happy with the affect the show was having on Kurt. He was becoming more outgoing, he had good friends and he no longer relied entirely on Finn. While they knew this didn't make Finn happy, it was healthy for Kurt.

"I was thinking," Kurt went on, "do you think you could have my picture restored like you talked about?"

"We'll bring it to the store tomorrow before Finn's game," Burt promised.

"You know, Kurt, we got a call from Jenny yesterday," Carole brought up. Kurt's attention immediately snapped over to her.

"A court date has been set, for your case to be brought before the judge…for the adoption."

"Really?" Kurt wasn't sure how to feel about that. Excited, yes, absolutely, but so many mixed emotions he was going through. Being adopted made him feel like he had to say goodbye to his parents once and for all. And even though they'd been gone for years, not having other people take their place gave him something to hold on to. But at the same time he definitely wanted new parents.

"October 12, so it's a little less than a month away. Is that OK?" Kurt nodded. That would give him time to work it out in his head and talk it over with Dr. Wheeler. He thought of Burt and Carole as mom and dad, and he was afraid that one day he would slip up and call them that, and while he thought his parents would be OK with that, the idea was a little scary. He was fully attached here, which is something he promised himself he would never let happen again.

As promised, Burt talked to Finn about his feelings toward Kurt's finding new friends that night, and explained to him how healthy it was for Kurt to be comfortable enough to come out of his shell and not rely on Finn for everything. It didn't mean they were any less brothers, it just meant that it was good and healthy for them to have separate interests, as well as things they could do together.

While Finn understood what his father said, he was still concerned. The kids at school didn't know that Kurt was involved in ballet. They teased him a little about hanging out with the girls more and more, but they took it easy because they all knew he was Finn's brother. Finn was popular, and would protect his brother through and through. But selfishly, Finn also knew if people found out Kurt was doing ballet they would turn on him. And not only would Kurt get teased, but they may turn on Finn as well. There was only so much Finn could do, and Kurt was making it harder and harder to protect him.

The next day Burt took Kurt to get his photo restored. They had to keep the original until the copy was done, but Kurt reluctantly allowed it. The next day, they stopped in for the enhanced photo, which looked exactly like the original, but brand new. Kurt was ecstatic. Burt bought a second copy to hang in the living room, and two frames, one for each picture.

A few days later, Kurt came bounding into the house after practice—Sophia's mother had dropped him off—overly excited.

"I'm Fritz!" he exclaimed. It wasn't a huge role, but it was one of the bigger roles for kids his age. All of the big roles went to the college theater students at Ohio State. He and the other kids were needed for the smaller roles, but a lot of them had been taken on for more advanced programs in the past.

The next week, the kids in Kurt's ballet class met the college students they would be dancing with. Kurt had one minor flashback, but it wasn't major; Cory took him into a private room and helped him calm down. Carole was called, but by the time she arrived Kurt felt ready to go back on stage and practice, and Carole stayed to watch, just in case.

Kurt absolutely loved ballet. When he was dancing, he forgot about everything else. It took such discipline, and he made some wonderful friends. He grew closer to Sophia and Katie. Another little girl, Brittany, who was twelve and in middle school already joined their group as well; she got along better with them then girls her own age. The four became soon became the best of friends, and Kurt was happier then he'd ever been. When he as on stage, he wasn't afraid of the men on stage with him. He simply saw them as another part of the show, and he was able to put his fears to the back of his mind. It took so much concentration to get his role as Fritz right, he practiced every chance he got. Kurt and the girls were often found in the Hummel's basement, practicing. Brittany, who had been in dance and ballet from the time she was three and was considered a prodigy, took on the role of Clara, while Katie and Sophia were both party children. Kurt greatly enjoyed dancing with Brittany; she taught him a lot about dance and made him better. While his instructors thought he was an extremely talented young dancer, they would have preferred the role of Fritz go to an older, more experienced boy. Kurt was the best male dancer in the program young enough for the role, so it was given to him with the understanding that he would work diligently to get it right. Brittany was amazing about helping him with that.

XXXXX

October 12 rolled around, and one day found the family in the court room, standing in front of the judge. Kurt had come to terms with his own feelings, and felt ready to be adopted, to have a forever family and the certainty that he would never be a ward of the state again. The judge asked Kurt some questions, as well as the parents. He declared them a family. It was the first time Kurt's name, Kurt Jacob Jackson Hummel, was spoken out loud as _his _legal, official name. They had a small party afterward, with some of Kurt and Finn's friends, as well as aunts and uncles, and Grandma Lorrie. Katie, Sophia and Brittany all showed up, to Kurt's elation, along with Kyle, Troy and Sam, his and Finn's shared friends from school. The party was a huge hit, and Kurt was in excellent spirits to now officially be a Hummel.

XXXXX

Word eventually did get out at school that Kurt was in the ballet performance with Katie and Sophia. Finn was suspended for school for 2 days when he punched a kid in the nose for making fun of Kurt, but after that the kids mostly left Kurt alone. Kurt didn't participate with other kids enough to be teased, really. He, Katie and Sophia stuck to their own devices at recess, or sometimes played with Kyle, Finn, Troy and Sam; and Kurt stayed with his teacher during gym. He couldn't handle the gym teacher and his role in _The Nutcracker_ was allowed to count for his gym grade. And any kid that picked on him had Finn, Kyle, Troy and Sam to answer to. The four of them wouldn't let anyone get away with giving Kurt a hard time.

October turned into November, and Kurt's rehearsals increased, but Kurt was dedicated and never complained. Carole and Burt, who at first were nervous about how well Kurt would be able to handle something as taxing as this ballet, were pleased with how much of a difference they were making in his life. Kurt hadn't had a real flashback in a long time, and that was a huge accomplishment. Sure, he had quick ones from time to time, but they didn't send him into a meltdown and he usually snapped out of it quickly. He was much more outgoing, and he loved the cast of _The Nutcracker_ and was easily a favorite among them.

November turned into December, and Kurt was looking forward to Christmas! He was too messed up last year to really enjoy it, so he considered this his first_ real_ Christmas with the Hummels, and it was his first Christmas _as_ a Hummel! Kurt had what he considered a huge fallback in early December. He was completely devastated when it happened, because it meant he wasn't better, and wondered if he ever would get better. This time, it happened when he was out doing some Christmas shopping with Aunt Sarah, Finn and his little cousin Amanda.

They were at the mall, which was all decked out for Christmas. Santa was there and 6 year old Amanda wanted to see him. Aunt Sarah wanted a picture of Santa with all three kids, though the boys considered themselves too old, they obliged. Kurt was nervous for another reason, though. He tried hard not to think about it. He was stronger now, he had overcome his PTSD and he could get through this. If he refused, he would have to tell them why, and he couldn't do that. So he stood in line with the other kids, chit chatting with Finn about Marvel, and answering the quips Amanda threw in. If Burt and Carole were here, they would have caught his nervousness far sooner, but Aunt Sarah didn't notice it. Finn did, but figured Kurt was pretty good at deciding if he could do something or not, and didn't want to embarrass his brother.

When their turn came, Amanda went first, and the boys came to take the picture with her. She insisted, however, that they each get their own turn with Santa. So Finn went first, and suddenly it was Kurt's turn. He tentatively perched on the edge of Santa's knee, when he knew he couldn't do it. He quickly tried to stand up, but Santa had put his hand on his back, and told him to smile for the camera.

And Kurt wasn't at the mall. He was at a Christmas party with the Dousers, and Mr. Douser had come in dressed as Santa to please the younger children. Kurt at the time had believed in Santa, and was just as excited as the rest of the children; maybe more. When it was his turn to sit on Santa's lap, he asked the jolly man to find him a new family. One that loved him and didn't do bad things to him. That night, Ray came into his bedroom dressed as Santa and asked if Kurt still wanted a new family. That was one of the worst nights of Kurt's young life—and that was saying something.

Kurt turned and punched the mall Santa, and when man dressed as an elf came up behind him he got a crotch full of foot, and fell back. Santa tried to pull Kurt off of him, but Kurt didn't see it as that and sank his teeth deep into Santa's hand, who let him go. Kurt jumped up and started throwing everything he could at the man, until two security officers came up to his sides and grabbed hold. Kurt continued to flail and kick as they carried him back to the security office, Aunt Sarah, Finn and Amanda following. Amanda was crying, having never seen her new cousin like this before, while Finn grabbed his aunt's cell phone and called his mom. She was in surgery, so he called his dad. Burt said he was on his way. In the security office, the officers had cuffed Kurt to a chair, where he couldn't hurt himself, while Aunt Sarah, having never dealt with Kurt like this before, tried to explain the situation to the security officer. Finn talked to Kurt in the gentle way he'd seen his parents do, but Kurt wouldn't calm down. The police showed up before Burt, along with a few paramedics. Burt arrived several minutes later, along with one of Kurt's crisis managers. But when a half hour passed with no improvement, Kurt was transported to Harding in an ambulance, where he woke up a few hours later.

Charges weren't pressed once the situation was revealed, but Aunt Sarah felt terrible for not noticing the trigger signs earlier, and Kurt was humiliated and furious with himself for letting it happen. He insisted on writing a letter of apology to the Santa, who in real life had a brother who was a therapist. Of course the man understood, and accepted the apology without question, and even sent Kurt a remote control car as a Christmas gift.

XXXXX

Several weeks later, _The Nutcracker _premiered, and every one of the extended family of the Hummels were present. Kurt absolutely killed his performance, he performed a perfect Fritz and danced beautifully. Even Finn was impressed by the amazing dance moves his little brother had. Kurt was freaking _flexible_ and man, he could never jump around like that! His parents bought Kurt, Sophia, Katie and Brittany each a bouquet of flowers, and the four families went out for dinner afterward to celebrate the kids' job well done.

"Burt, can I have tea with my meal?" Kurt asked his dad from the kids' side. Burt, who was sitting with Sophia's parents, told him to go ahead.

"Sophia told us you recently adopted Kurt," Sophia's father inquired. "Did you go through the foster system? We've been considering being foster parents for awhile now, now that our children are older."

"Yeah, we've been foster parents for several years. Carole actually met Kurt when he was around 4, just after his parents died, but he went to some relatives afterward. We got him about a year and a half ago, the adoption went through 2 months ago," Burt replied, proudly staring down the table where Kurt was smiling and laughing with his brother and friends.

Adam Seewald's mind went somewhere else. To that day, just over six years ago, when he pulled a four year old child named Kurt from a car moments before it burned with his mother inside. It could not be the same boy that his daughter has been gushing about for the past 3 months.

Could it?

_And always, a giant thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Love and appreciate them. Have a great day!_


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt thrived in 5th grade. After _The Nutcracker _was over, Kurt convinced his parents to enroll him in a performing arts program at the University, taught by college theater students. Over the summer, they would perform the ballet of _Peter Pan_, and they would also train the students in other areas of performing arts, and Kurt wanted to be coached in voice. Sophia, Katie and Brittany would be enrolled with him, along with several other boys and girls from the community, both his school and others.

Kurt got the part of Michael, which he was ecstatic about. There were more girls than boys, so most of the lost boys were played by the girls. Kurt enjoyed this ballet immensely. While _The Nutcracker_ was fun, it was a more serious ballet, and it was the college students' showcase, so they were quite serious about getting everything perfect. This one, while they still had to do right, was much more fun-based. And he got to fly! Though the harnesses were uncomfortable after a while, Kurt got used to it. Brittany was John, and Kurt was happy to be able to dance with her quite a bit. He was getting better and better about being around the variety of people on the set. He made completely sure never to be alone with any of them, and getting used to new people touching him in the context of ballet caused quite a few panic attacks, but the crew and dancers loved him and made concessions for him. Kurt worked extremely hard and became more comfortable as long as he knew who would be touching him in exactly what way at exactly what time. Nobody knew his story, but everybody knew he obviously had one. He had to take frequent trips to the dressing room to calm his panic attacks, he flinched and tensed quite often, and they often had to call him back to 'reality' when he was spacing out. Still, he had come out of his shell; his vibrant personality was contagious and he was an extremely talented actor. If he were a few years older, they would have loved to have him as their Peter!

Besides performing, Kurt excelled in his academics. He found himself tutoring Finn in a few subjects, which benefitted them both. When he was held back during gym class, his teacher gave him books so he could work ahead in the areas in which he was excelling, and Kurt was very grateful for that. It also gave him time to work on his homework, as he was going to the university two days a week, and his psychiatrist a further two days a week. Kurt made sure to spend his remaining free time playing video games with Finn, playing soccer with Kyle, Sam, Troy and Finn, and sometimes the girls, too. When it was warm enough, the Hummel parents finally started allowing Kurt to ride his bike to the park, provided he was with his group of friends. His last flashback had been the Santa incident. He still had frequent panic attacks, but they were nothing like the flashbacks. It still made the Hummel parents nervous to let him go off without them, but they knew they couldn't hide him in a bubble forever.

Adam Seewald, Sophia's father, had kept his information to himself for a while. He was content knowing that his daughter's friend was the boy he pulled out of the car. The child had survived, and had grown to be a pretty cool little kid. He knew the kid had a pretty traumatic background, though he knew nothing of the details, but moving forward he knew Kurt would have a family that would love and support him no matter what. Kurt was in a good place right now. He was afraid that the boy finding out who he was would bring back memories that the already traumatized by didn't need to think about. He may not even remember anything from that night; Adam hoped he didn't. He decided after a few months, however, that if Kurt ever did remember that night, and wanted to know what happened, his parents should be able to tell him who he could talk to. With that in mind, when he dropped his car off at the shop for an oil change, he brought the conversation up with Burt.

"Hey Adam," Burt said as he rolled out from under a car. "Here for an oil change?" As their children became friends, the Seewalds and the Hummels had become quite close.

"Yeah, it's been awhile," Adam responded, handing him his keys.

"Great, I'll get right on it! How's Sophia coming along with her part?"

"She loves it. She wasn't happy about having to play a boy, but she gets some fun dances with the lost boys, and she knows there aren't enough girls parts to go around. How does Kurt like playing Michael?"

"He's nervous," Burt replied. "He's determined to do it well, and he's really good, but we have a long way to go on building up his confidence. It helps that Brittany is John, though. He gets to work with her a lot."

"And Finn's doing basketball this year, hey?"

"Yeah, he's pretty good, but his real love is football. He can't wait for tackle next year. His mother can!"

Adam laughed, he could imagine how nervous Becky would be if Tyler showed a love for football, but right now their 6 year old was more in to all things robotic.

"So, I wanted to talk to you about something. I first thought about it after the _Nutcracker _performance, when you were talking about his mother dying when he was four, but I wasn't positive until I saw the picture on your living room wall. I don't want Kurt to know, I don't want it to bring back bad memories, but I think you and Carole should; just in case he starts asking questions," Adam rambled, nervously.

"What is it?" Burt asked, Adam had his complete attention now…this sounded serious.

Adam told him that he'd been the one to pull Kurt from the car the night his mother died. Burt, taken aback, asked for details. So Adam told him what had happened that night, how he'd pulled Kurt from the car moments before it started on fire, his mother still inside. How he'd performed CPR and administered a trach before the ambulance got there, and how he'd never been allowed any information on how the child was doing afterward, other than that he'd gone into the system.

"I've wondered about him so much over the years. It's kind of the reason I talked to Becky about becoming foster parents, but I'm content now knowing that Kurt made it, that he's loved and has found a good home."

Burt clapped Adam on the back. "Thank you for saving his life," he said, his voice full of emotion. "Our lives are so much richer because of him, he's an amazing kid. I don't want him to know who you are, at least until he's ready, but I'm glad you're able to be a part of his life," Burt informed him, genuinely.

XXXXX

Fifth grade continued on, and it wasn't long before spring break was approaching. Kurt was excited, because the kids in his dance class were going to have a sleepover at the university, supervised by the college students. It took a lot of work on his part to convince his parents to let him go. He hadn't had a flashback or a meltdown in months, but he still had panic attacks and nightmares, and sometimes cried out. As a result, the only sleepovers he'd had were at his house, with understanding friends. But his parents eventually relented, and Kurt was allowed to go to the sleepover with Brittany, Sophia and Katie, provided he took the family cell phone with him and called his parents immediately should anything happen.

The day of the sleepover approached, and Kurt was beside himself. He was nervous about the sleeping part, of course he was, but he didn't let himself think about it too much. It was going to be so much fun! They were going to sleep in the main study area of the University Center, where all the tables had been pushed to the side and the children rolled out their sleeping bags. A projector was set up, where they were to play _Annie_ and _Singing in the Rain_ while eating pizza. Kurt and his friends played a couple games of 'spoons' with some of the college students, and then they had a dance off. Kurt had picked up some pretty good moves besides ballet, and out-danced a lot of the other students. Pretty soon it was between him, Brittany, and another girl, Laura. Brittany won, of course, but Kurt came in third. One of the things Kurt loved most about this group of people was that he was comfortable being completely himself. Everybody here loved his vibrant personality, where in the past he knew that a lot of public school kids and the general public didn't appreciate it. Then the pizza was there, and afterwards Kurt and the girls settled down by their sleeping bags to watch the musicals. Kurt helped Katie do her nails, as she was having trouble with her right hand, and sang along with every song. By the time the movies were over, most of the kids were asleep.

Kurt settled down in his sleeping bag, but couldn't help being overcome with fear. He had never spent a night away from his parents other than his time in Harding. What if he had a nightmare? What if he made a fool of himself? His parents had warned him that he might have a nightmare, but he had shooed them off, too excited about the prospect of a sleepover to care. The University Center was big. The ceiling was a long was up, and there were many doors leading into it, and this made Kurt feel insecure. After an hour or so, he fell into a fitful sleep, but woke up screaming around 2. Sophia, Katie and Brittany were there to comfort him, and one of the college students, Cindy, came to check on him. He was having a hard time calming down. It was a dream about Uncle Charles, this time, and he was taking Lucy away. Kurt was hyperventilating and couldn't seem to get himself under control. Other kids were waking up and watching him. Finally, Cindy asked Michael to find Kurt's paperwork and call his parents. Carole showed up a half hour later and was able to calm Kurt down, and then took him home. Kurt followed her out to the car, shamefaced and embarrassed that he couldn't make it at a silly little sleepover. Carole assured him that a lot of kids his age had trouble with this sort of thing, and it was perfectly fine that he wanted to come home.

XXXXX

At the end of April was Finn's 11th birthday. He had a huge party, complete with piñata and tons of party games. Finn got a mess load of presents, and a huge cake. As separate as Kurt and Finn had become since Kurt started making new friends, they were still brothers and Finn wanted Kurt front and center for everything.

As April turned into May, and May into June, Peter Pan was scheduled to start performing. The Hummels were at the first show, and were amazingly proud of Kurt and his role as Michael. He performed it spectacularly, and at the end of the performance were surprised by the cast singing a few songs from Peter Pan, and Kurt had a solo. Carole was in tears by the end of it. Her baby had come out of his shell so much! 2 years ago, he was barely able to interact with the outside world, and now just 2 years later he was performing in a ballet and singing a solo in front of an audience of hundreds of people!

"That was pretty cool, dude," Finn commended, fist-bumping his brother as they met up with him at the end of the show. "Especially the flying part. It totally made me want to try it!"

"Yeah, the flying part is pretty cool," Kurt agreed. "But it kind of hurts after a while."

Carole pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"Ugh, Carole, can't breathe" Kurt gasped, and she let go and kissed the top of his head.

Summer flew by, and with it came Kurt's 11th birthday. He had a party with all of his friends, both his dance friends and his and Finn's school friends, a large cake and lots of presents. He wound up with the entire Harry Potter series, which he had been borrowing from Finn, as well as a new art kit, as his was well-worn, several musicals and a new tea set. After the party, Carole handed him one last gift.

"We got this from your Aunt Lindsey," she told him. "She picked it up from your apartment, but held onto it until now." Kurt slowly opened his last package. It was a home video. Slowly, fearfully, he made his way to the old family VCR and pushed the tape in, starting it up.

"_Where's my big, beautiful four year old?"_ the man holding the camera asked.

"_She's hiding in the closet!" _came the little reply.

Kurt watched as Lucy pounced out of the closet, dragging a shrieking little Kurt behind her. They ran out of their room, and into the master bedroom with the camera-man following, jumped on the bed and woke up their sleeping mother. She laughed at their antics, but then glared at the camera.

"_Jacob, are you videotaping me? I just woke up, I'm a mess!"_ she complained.

"_What are you talking about? I don't think it's possible for you to be a mess, you're always beautiful!" _Jacob had answered.

Lilly climbed out of bed, Kurt clinging to her back, and kissed her husband next to the camera. Jacob held the camera out so it focused on both of them, but Kurt took it out of his hands.

"_Now I'm the camera guy!" _he declared.

Jacob laughed and picked up Lucy, swinging her around in a circle to a made up song, before he took the camera out of Kurt's hand and turned it off. This must have been shortly before Jacob died, Kurt knew it happened not long after his fourth birthday. It flickered to another time, the next time it was turned on. Kurt and Lucy had apparently wanted to make a movie.

"_Alright, Kurtie bear, what do you want us to do?"_

"_Daddy has to be on the couch. Mommy has to be holding a microphone…here, use this," _Kurt ordered, handing her a rolling pin. Lilly took it.

"_All You Need is Love…aaaaand Hit It!" _Lucy exclaimed.

And Jacob started playing and singing, Lilly chimed in and they sang in harmony, and Kurt and Lucy started dancing. Kurt had to admit, he was a pretty good dancer even at four. It blacked out and a new scene a new day came on the TV. The next part of the video was of them trying to accomplish the same thing, but it was obvious nobody's heart was in it. Jacob wasn't in this video. At the end of the tape, Kurt sat there for a long while just staring at it. Burt and Carole both had tears running down their faces. Carole moved over to Kurt, and wrapped her arms around it. Kurt curled up into them.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. Maybe that was a bad idea," Burt reflected.

"No, I'm glad you did! I never want to forget them, and I was!" Kurt assured them. And he was glad he saw it. He was forever grateful to his new parents for getting that video of his parents. As hard as it was to watch, it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. They were a part of his past, but the Hummels were his future. He'd known his parents were gone for a long time now. The hardest part was knowing Lucy was still out there, and not knowing where.

"It's no wonder he's so freaking talented…did you hear her voice?" Finn put in, which had the whole family laughing again.

"Thanks mom, thanks dad," Kurt said, hugging both of his parents. Though they had been his official parents since October, this was the first time he had referred to them as mom and dad and they were overwhelmed with gladness.

Kurt, for his part, thought of them as mom and dad for a long time. But this…this was just something he wasn't expecting. This showed him how far his parents would go to make sure he could keep his past, his roots a part of him, even though they were no longer in his life. This let him know how much his parents loved him, even though he'd known that before. He had wanted to start calling them mom and dad for a while, and this seemed like the right time.

_So...I'm not so happy with this chapter. It really is more of a filler, I have a lot planned for the next one but I wanted to touch on a few things and get him to middle school first. It just didn't come together as cleanly as I had hoped, but I'm having trouble perfecting it. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Well, it's the longest so far! This one-which I actually had a ton of ideas for-was really hard to write! Do you guys prefer longer chapters or shorter? Would it be better if I split something like this into 2 chapters? I debated, but decided not to. I felt like the next chapter would be too short if I did. _

It felt like summer flew by; soon it was September and Finn and Kurt's first day of middle school. Kurt was excited for middle school, but also nervous. He was doing such a good job in dealing with the people that scared him, but in elementary school he had the option of hiding out in his classroom instead of being in gym with the scary teacher. Now in middle school, he was to have many classrooms, many different teachers, and some of them were bound to remind him of something. He had been working diligently with Dr. Wheeler on coping mechanisms for when that happened, and ways in which he could overcome his fear. He had successfully put it into practice several times out in public, and was proud of himself for that. It was something that only a few months ago would have sent him into a meltdown. However, he usually spaced out for several minutes when this happened, and he wasn't sure if it was something he could get away with at school without telling teachers his story, and he really didn't want people to know! The compromise was that the school nurse, Principle and Vice Principle would be made aware of the situation, and his teachers were going to be aware of a portion of it: simply that Kurt had panic attacks, and if he asked to leave he should be allowed. Kurt had his privacy, and if he felt a panic attack or flashback coming on, he could escape safely to the nurse's office.

Furthermore, Kurt was taking quite a few advanced courses, while Finn was in the general courses. While Kurt didn't rely on Finn like he used to, he liked knowing his brother was always there if he needed him. It was a safety net Kurt had taken for granted last year. But on the bright side, Sophia was in most of his classes, as she was advanced too, and they were now in the same school as Brittany! She had to be held back in 7th grade, so they would be in the same school next year as well!

Kurt was nervous about the fact that four elementary schools would be feeding into the middle school. In trying to look at the bright side of things, it gave him opportunity for more friends. But middle school was just so much_ bigger,_ and while Kurt didn't have the same problems with big crowds as he used to, he still didn't like being in the middle of them all the time. It gave more opportunity for teasing, which Kurt was nervous about. He'd experienced it a little bit in fifth grade, but his brother and his friends kind of "ruled the school," so nobody messed with Kurt. Here, Finn was a nobody…just another 6th grader. Could he offer Kurt the same protection?

Kurt walked with Finn to school that first day. It was only a few blocks from their house. Mom, of course, had gotten the pre-first-day-of-school photo and they were off. Finn already knew a few of the kids, because he'd had to start football practice over the summer. Kurt was just happy his few friends were going to be in at least some of his classes.

Kurt and Finn had homeroom together, then Kurt went to Advanced Math, while Finn made his way to Math 6. Kurt took an empty seat in the middle of the classroom, and took out a folder, notebook and pencil, ready for the class to start. The class started filling up, and a boy took the seat next to him. He had short, curly hair and was about Kurt's height.

"Hi, I'm Blaine," he introduced himself.

"I'm Kurt," Kurt responded. He didn't recognize the boy from his old school…he must be from a different one. He answered that question before Kurt got a chance to ask it.

"I just moved here from Florida this summer," was Blaine's response, "so I don't really know anyone yet. Do you have a lot of friends here?"

"A few…you can sit with us at lunch," Kurt suggested. He suspected the boy would make friends quickly, and find someone better to sit with at lunch, but he knew how scary it was to be a new student, he'd been through it many times, and he wanted to help him feel welcome.

Blaine's face lit up in a wide smile. "Thanks!" he exclaimed.

"So why did your family move here?" Kurt asked with curiosity.

"My dad got a new job, he's a doctor," Blaine explained. "I miss Florida, but the new house is OK. I haven't really met anyone yet."

"I've moved around a lot," Kurt confided. "I know how hard it is going to a new school."

"Kurt!" Sophia exclaimed, bounding over and pulling him into a hug, before taking the seat behind him.

"Hi Sophia! This is Blaine," Kurt introduced the new boy.

"Hi Blaine! Kurt, did your parents sign you up for dance yet?" Sophia asked, urgently. "Registration is up next week and Katie just told me her parents aren't sure they're signing her up this year! They said it takes up too much time and she has to concentrate on school!"

"My mom sent in the registration last week," Kurt confirmed, a little taken aback. Dance wouldn't be the same without Katie!

At that moment, Mr. Lee entered the room.

"Welcome to Advanced Math," he said. "All of you are here because you've received top scores on your fifth grade testing. So I'm going to assume you're all good students and allow you the freedom of choosing your seat today, which is where you will sit for the next few weeks. If you betray that trust by talking in my class when you're not supposed to or not paying attention, I will take that freedom away and assign seats. Does anyone wish to move?"

Kurt stayed where he was, as did Blaine and Sophia. Mr. Lee was a tall, skinny guy in a suit, and didn't freak Kurt out at all, he was pleased to note. It was pretty cool that they got to choose their own seats, even if Mr. Lee sounded pretty strict. He handed out the syllabi, and walked them through it. The class went by pretty quickly, and then Kurt was on his way to Science with Finn and Katie, followed by choir with Brittany (as it was combined grades), Katie and Sophia. He was pleased to see Blaine in the class, and waved him over as well. He introduced Blaine to Brittany and Katie ("Aww, he's cute Kurt! I like his curly hair!"), and they were asked to sing do re me one at a time so Mr. Calendar could place them. Most of the pre-pubescents had loud, squeaky or childish voices, so the places were pretty flexible, but Kurt ended up in the middle, between the boys and girls.

After Advanced English was lunch. Kurt found a seat next to Katie at a table with Sophia, Troy, Sam, Finn, Kyle and dragged Blaine behind him, introducing him to the other kids.

"What's this I hear about you not doing _Nutcracker_ this year?" Kurt demanded.

"I'm sorry," Katie replied, sadly. "My parents didn't say no for sure, they just think it takes too much time and that I won't get good grades. I'm trying to talk them into it."

"Well, you only have a few more days to sign up, so you better work quickly," Sophia told her friend.

The conversation turned to how their summers went. Kurt tried to include Blaine as much as possible, but he was a bit shy around the group of kids.

After lunch was Applied Engineering with Blaine and Sophia, which sounded pretty interesting, but the teacher was the type of person he usually tried to steer clear of. Kurt would just have to utilize his relaxation skills in this class, and avoid any physical or one on one contact with the man.

Then came gym with Sam and Finn: the class Kurt was looking forward to the least. The first day they didn't have to change, they were allowed to stay in their street clothes, but Kurt wasn't sure he could handle changing with the other boys. The gym teacher yelled a lot, just to be heard, and the gym made everything echo. Kurt could feel the panic attack coming, but he couldn't get out of the gym without attracting attention. Instead, he grabbed Finn's hand and squeezed. Finn looked at him, and noticed Kurt's pale demeanor, and that he was starting to rock in his seat. He nudged Sam, who knew some of Kurt's condition—he'd witnessed a few flashbacks and a lot of panic attacks. Sam quickly moved to sit next to Kurt's other side and took his free hand. Kurt closed his eyes and pretended he wasn't there, he concentrated on Finn and Sam, and thought about _The Nutcracker. _He was dancing on stage, where he belonged. Not in this gym squished on the bleachers listening to some sweaty teacher talk about basketball, but gracefully pirouetting his way across the stage with Brittany.

Nobody noticed Kurt's preoccupation, and Sam and Finn shook him back to reality when the bell rang.

"Are you OK, dude?" Finn asked with concern.

"I'm fine, Finn…just… don't tell mom or dad, OK? I need to be able to handle this," Kurt responded.

"But Kurt, maybe you should-"

"Please, Finn! I've got this, I can do it. I'm better now! I am!" Kurt begged.

"OK, I won't," Finn promised. "But if you can't handle it tomorrow, you need to tell them."

"I can handle it," Kurt said before stalking off to History.

"We need to keep a close eye on him tomorrow," Finn told Sam, before following his brother. They had the next two periods together.

That night, the boys reported that all went well at school. Kurt had made a new friend and liked all his classes…he found his Engineering teacher scary but assured his parents he could handle it, and would let someone know if he couldn't. He didn't want to be labelled _the freak_ on his first week of middle school.

Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.

XXXXX

The first half of the next day happened without incident. Blaine, it turned out, was really nice, funny, and interested in many of the same things Kurt was. He commented that he would have loved to be in _The Nutcracker_ if he thought his dad would let him, but his dad expected certain things out of Blaine.

Kurt had to change into his gym uniform that day, and did so as quickly as he could, blocked by Finn and Sam as discretely as possible. The three of them made their way to the gym, where they would be playing basketball. For a little while, Kurt did alright. He tried to stay in the background, but a few minutes in the ball went flying in his direction. He missed it, and Mr. Wilson blew his whistle and yelled for Kurt to pay attention. But Kurt _hated_ this, and imagined himself on the stage to get through it. A few minutes later, Kurt was knocked to the ground by one of the bigger kids. Sam was right there to pull him to his feet, but Kurt got yelled at again because apparently, he had missed the ball three times without realizing it. Eventually, the teacher pulled him to the side and scolded him for being in his own little world when he needed to be in gym class. Kurt apologized and tried to pay attention, but a kid came up from behind him and pushed him out of the way so he could get the ball. Kurt fell, accidentally taking another kid with him, who fell on top of him.

And Kurt wasn't in gym class. He was with Ray. Ray was on top of him, and so much bigger than him, and Kurt couldn't do anything about it. So he brought his knee up as hard as he could and caught Ray between the legs. When Ray didn't immediately jump off him, Kurt latched on and bit as hard as he could, then started punching with everything he had in him. Someone came up behind him and pulled them apart, the arms were holding Kurt tightly, but his legs still worked and he kicked, as hard as he could continuously making contact with whoever it was—but they wouldn't let go. And then Finn was there, telling him to calm down, trying to touch him. But then somebody had hold of Finn, and was pulling him back, and Kurt was going to lose the only brother he ever had. But it wasn't Finn they were taking away, it was Lucy. And Kurt screamed for her. He snapped his head backward, and it banged into the person's nose, who finally let him go. Kurt ran toward Finn, who was being held back from Kurt, and tried to get him away from his captor. He punched the guy, but two more came over and grabbed him from the sides. And there was a police officer there. And pretty soon, Kurt was in handcuffs and escorted to the office, where he was cuffed to a chair. He tried to get free, but couldn't…he started banging his head against the wall. And then an ambulance was there, and he was taken to Harding.

Kurt woke up in Harding a few hours later. He remembered some of what had happened, but it was enough to mortify him and make him never want to go to school again. He hadn't had a flashback like that in a long, long time. He stayed in Harding overnight; he went into three more panic attacks after he woke up and they wanted to keep an eye on him. He wasn't sure why it had affected him like that—as far as he and Finn could remember, nothing happened that should have triggered _that_ strong of a reaction.

Kurt stayed home from school for the rest of the week. It seemed his PTSD had come back full force, which was frustrating for Kurt who thought he was better. Every time he imagined what school would be like when he went back, he had another attack. There was a hearing about whether he would be expelled. The school recognized that it wasn't his fault, but he attacked another student and a teacher, and they thought he might be a danger to other students. In the end, they decided that he would be allowed back, but teachers would be made aware of his condition and he was exempted from gym class. The parents of the student he attacked wanted to press charges, but was made aware that they would never win, as Kurt was a traumatized former foster kid with PTSD and no former record. They did ask that Kurt was not to be in any classes with their son, which wasn't a problem as their son was a 7th grader. If it happened again, Kurt knew he would probably not be so lucky. It seemed as if every time he really thought he was getting better, something like this happened. The huge flashbacks were few and far between, but the bigger he got, the worse they got.

He went back to school on Monday, where he was walked to his first class after homeroom by Finn. He took his seat next to Blaine. Kurt fully expected Blaine to ignore him completely. He wouldn't blame him; what new kid would want to be friends with the freaky kid who had meltdowns and attacked teachers. But Blaine didn't ignore him.

"Are you alright?" he asked as soon as Kurt took his seat.

Kurt looked at him and blushed furiously. He knew the attack had gotten out…Finn had warned him.

"Yeah, fine," he answered, concentrating on his closed math book. Sophia came bounding up to him, pulling him in for a hug.

"It happened again, I'm so sorry Kurt!" she exclaimed, tears in her eyes.

Kurt's friends stood by him that day, but the rest of the kids treated him like he was diseased. They yelled insults at them, mocked him, and pushed him around. One kid threw mashed potatoes at his head at lunch; Finn and Sam helped him wash it out in the bathroom. One of his friends made sure to stay by his side at every moment that day, to make sure he was never alone.

He refused to answer any questions by his parents that night, afraid of what they would say if they knew the truth. He couldn't just change schools and they might make it worse by saying something. The next day was much the same. Kurt went about his day as silently as possible, willing himself to not have a panic attack and avoiding all conversation. School went on like this for 3 weeks. Kurt kept hoping that they would forget about it after a while, but that was hard when he kept having panic attacks. Evening rehearsals were his refuge. The harder he worked at ballet, the more bearable school was. Kurt was to play the role of Fritz again; the role he escaped in his mind to whenever he needed a break. He was thrilled that he could play it in real life again!

Blaine continued to sit with Kurt and his friends, and while Kurt enjoyed his company he refused to talk about why his attacks happened, though Blaine had asked. Nobody knew, except for Finn and even he didn't know all of it. It wasn't something Kurt talked about. While most of his friends knew he was in the system for several years, nobody knew about the abuse he had endured, about Lucy, or what happened to his parents, and Kurt wasn't about to tell them. They all knew he'd been through something—he had to have some kind of explanation for his panic attacks and flashbacks—but not what.

XXXXX

Kurt left lunch a little early one day in early October to have a moment of solitude in the bathroom. When he left, the halls were still quite empty except for two seventh graders. One of them was the boy he had attacked.

"Hey retard!" one of the boys called. "Spaz! Come on spaz, we're talking to you!"

Kurt tried to make his way back into the safety of the cafeteria, but the boys caught up with him.

"You gonna beat up on me, little retard, I'm gonna do you one better," he said as his friend held Kurt's mouth shut; he picked a lock on a locker and together they forced him inside. The lockers were tall, and Kurt was quite small. They threw him in, where his head slammed against a hook under the shelf and the back of the locker. They slammed it shut and locked him in, and Kurt immediately went into a panic attack. He couldn't move, he couldn't make a sound. His head hurt where he hit it, but he couldn't reach it to feel if there was a bump…his hands were pinned to his sides. He tried to go back into his happy place—his role in _The Nutcracker,_ but he was getting dizzy. He blacked out.

Finn offered to go with Kurt when he said he had to use the bathroom, but Kurt said no. Finn understood that Kurt needed to get away for a minute, but he was worried about his brother. The kids at school had been brutal and he wasn't sure Kurt should go anywhere alone. So when Kurt didn't return right away, Finn rounded up Sam, Kyle and Troy and the boys went looking for him. Kurt wasn't in the bathrooms, they checked all of them in the area, nor was he in the hallways or classrooms near the lunchroom. A teacher stopped them to ask what they were doing, and they explained that Kurt hadn't shown up after lunch. The teacher and several others began looking for him. Before long, they assumed Kurt had left the school, decided to skip the rest of the day, and called his parents.

Burt and Carole were worried sick when they got the call that Kurt wasn't at school. They both left work, and scouted the area. They called Carole's mother Lorrie to check the house, and eventually called the police.

As the school day ended, and the kids were getting their things to go home, Chloe Hardin opened her locker to get her backpack and homework. She let out a scream as Kurt fell out.

An ambulance was called, Kurt was rushed to the hospital. He had a bad concussion, and was held for two nights. There was no proof of what had happened, and Kurt claimed he couldn't remember who had done it. After that, Burt and Carole made the decision that Kurt was not going back to public school. They looked at several private schools, but they didn't want to send Kurt to a religious school and there wasn't much in the area for kids his age. They looked at several charter and public schools, but they were afraid the same thing would happen.

Kurt's dance instructor recommended a school for Kurt that specialized in the Arts, as well as the core curriculum. Kurt wanted to go, and they wanted to get him in on a scholarship, but they didn't start kids until 7th grade. And so, the decision was made that Kurt would be homeschooled for the remainder of 6th. He would stay home with his Grandma Lorrie, who was retired, and complete the 6th grade using the online curriculum program he used during his 6 month stay at Harding.

The doctors told him to take it easy for a week, but Kurt knew his role as Fritz quite well. He sat on the side and watched, and a week later he was ready to get back into it. He fell into place quite well, as this was a routine he practiced regularly just to get his mind of things. Kurt still loved being on the stage...he was never more at home then he was there, and the crew and fellow dancers loved him for who he was, weird panic attacks and all. They weren't ever that bad on the set though. Sure they came up once in a while, but Kurt trusted everyone on the set, and knew they wouldn't hurt him, and they knew how to deal with the attacks when they did happen.

XXXXX

With the decreased anxiety, Kurt's panic attacks once again decreased in severity and frequency fairly quickly. He enjoyed staying home with Grandma Lorrie during the day. As a bright student, he got most of his work done before lunch, and got to spend the afternoons baking or shopping with his grandmother, or helping out his elderly widowed neighbor, Mrs. Whittaker. Grandma Lorrie was an excellent cook…a chef in her day, before retirement, and taught him a lot about gourmet cooking. They would make some elaborate meals for the family to enjoy when they got home. He also got to complete his studies at his own pace. He excelled at French, and moved quickly threw the books. It helped that Mrs. Whittaker was fluent in French and liked to give him private lessons. She began teaching Kurt how to play the piano, and adored watching him practice his part in the ballet. Kurt promised her one of his free tickets to the show, which she was thrilled about.

Kurt still saw his friends. Katie's parents had finally decided to allow her to continue on in _The Nutcracker_ because she enjoyed it so much, and the three girls had sleepovers at Kurt's house several times a month. Even Blaine joined them once in a while. Kyle, Finn and Sam came over frequently, and Kurt usually joined them in whatever they were doing. Sam felt a huge sense of guilt over what happened in gym, as if he should have somehow stopped it, or refused to allow Kurt to go to the bathroom alone that day, but Kurt and his parents assured him that it wasn't his fault, and that there was nothing he could have done. When Kurt has his flashbacks, there is very little that can be done. And Kurt was very stubborn, if he wanted to go to the bathroom alone, Sam wasn't going to stop him.

Christmas neared, and _The Nutcracker_ went off without a hitch. Kurt danced spectacularly, and Brittany was well loved in her role as Clara. After the show, as Kurt was surrounded by his family and friends, a well-dressed man and woman approached them.

"Hello, I'm Justin Preacher, and this is my colleague Susan Hibbs" the man introduced himself. "I'm looking for Kurt Hummel's parents."

Burt stuck his hand out and shook Mr. Preachers, "I'm Burt Hummel," he said.

"Well, Mr. Hummel, you should be very proud of your son today, his performance was spectacular!" Mr. Preacher praised.

"We are very proud, thank you," Burt responded. "Kurt's worked very hard on this, and he enjoys it a lot."

"And it shows! He has such grace and talent! Cory Tallen told me to keep an eye out for him, and I'm glad I did!" Mr. Preacher went on

"Yes, thank you Mr. Preacher," Burt said, wondering where this was going.

"Forgive me, I'm the Dean of Admissions at Bajar's School of the Arts. Have you heard of it?"

"We have, actually. Kurt's in 6th grade now, but we're working on the application for next year," Burt explained.

"Excellent, excellent! You can consider this his first audition, then! Talent like his is a talent we want to work with!" Mr. Preacher said, excitedly.

"Good, then maybe we can talk about a scholarship? We don't have a lot of money, but we do want to see Kurt go there," Burt asked.

"Oh yes, of course. We have scholarships available, especially for kids with special circumstances. I don't know if Kurt has any, but we can set up an appointment for us to talk in a more private setting," Mr. Preacher advised. "How does Wednesday afternoon work?"

"We can make it work," Burt replied with a smile. Mr. Preacher handed him his card and bid them good night, congratulating Kurt once more for a wonderful performance.

"Did you here that, kiddo?" Burt said, ruffling Kurt's hair.

"Cory went there!" Kurt exclaimed, "He said it's a great school. If I can get in, that would be amazing!"

Wednesday came along, and they found out that because of Kurt's problems in public school and high academic standing, as well as his talent on the stage, he would qualify for a full scholarship. He would have to audition again, but he'd already passed the first one and the school obviously wanted him. Burt explained a little about Kurt's special needs, and the school said that should Kurt be accepted it would be based on his performance and not his special needs; they would make accommodations to work with him. Burt and Carole didn't want their son labeled, and were afraid that any school would turn him down upon hearing that he had attacked a student, but it was necessary that they knew what the possibilities were with Kurt. It was a less risky place though; here, Kurt could excel in areas he was interested in. All the kids here loved the Arts, and he wouldn't be forced into situations he was in at the public school. Of course, they couldn't control everything and there was always the possibility that something would set him off, but they couldn't keep him locked away in fear. If a school of the arts was anything like the ballet program, the Hummels thought Kurt would be successful.

Kurt approached Cory about helping him prepare for his audition, and Cory agreed wholeheartedly. The summer production was going to be Snow White, and Cory suggested they take a dance out of that, enhance it, and use it as his audition. Kurt would also put together a theater scene and a singing piece; Cory suggested doing a scene from a musical which would showcase both. Kurt found out the next week that Brittany was also going to be auditioning; the man had approached her and her parents as well. He apparently found many of his students through Cory's recommendation. The two decided to prepare their piece to perform together.

The next few months flew by for Kurt. Although he wasn't attending school, he was exceedingly busy with keeping up in his schoolwork, his role in _Snow White_ and preparing his audition. Brittany spent a lot of time at the Hummel household, and Kurt had started going to her house frequently as well. Kurt loved her parents. They had turned the living room into a sort of studio for the kids to practice in, and her mother would watch and give them pointers.

The audition happened in May, and Kurt and Brittany did pretty well. The instructors gave them good feedback, and pointed out the areas in which they could improve, but Kurt's acceptance to the school came in the mail 2 weeks later, as did Brittany's. It was a small school, and most of the 7th and 8th grade classes would be together, so Brittany and Kurt would share most of their classes.

XXXXX

The Hummel's threw Kurt a big pool party for his 12th birthday at Aunt Sarah's house. Finn, Troy, Kyle, Blaine, Sam, Katie, Sophia and Brittany were all in attendance, and Kurt got some pretty cool gifts. A new bike, ballet shoes and jazz shoes, a debit gift certificate so he could go shopping for new clothes for his new school, a few musicals, and his parents surprised him that night with a new vanity. He had been asking for one for a while.

The performance of _Snow White_ was a huge success, and Kurt was thrilled to have successfully pulled off another role. He had the month of August now, pretty much clear to do as he wanted before he started school in September. He spent a lot of time with Finn, riding bikes around town, making frequent stops at Dairy Queen for ice cream, or going to the park. He wasn't allowed out on his own; his parents were afraid he would have a panic attack and have nobody there to help him, or run into bullies from his old school, but he didn't mind. He could usually find someone to go with him.

Sophia and Katie went to Girl Scout camp in August, so Kurt found himself spending more and more time with Blaine. They would watch musicals together; they both loved to sing and knew all of the words to most of the songs. Blaine confided in Kurt how jealous he was that Kurt got out of that school. The kids were apparently quite mean to Blaine. Blaine also confided to Kurt that he didn't find girls attractive; he was gay, he said. He liked boys. That was the first time Kurt really thought about it. Did he find girls attractive? No, not really. He liked girls; he liked hanging out with them and being friends with them. He got along well with girls, but he'd always found himself more attracted to boys. He admired the way the men danced in his dance class. Girls were pretty too, but the men…they were beautiful, graceful, and strong. He'd never really thought about it, though. His life was too complicated to give it much thought. Did it make him gay? He hadn't really hit puberty yet, and that's when his mom said he would start figuring himself out. He wondered what Burt and Carole would think about it. They'd always accepted him for who he was, but was this just another thing that made him weird? Would his weirdness get to be too much for them, one day?

XXXXX

Burt Hummel loved his kids. He'd loved Finn from the moment he met him when he was 2, and he loved watching the little boy grow up. He wanted to have another baby with Carole, but after years of trying they found out he was not sterile, but extremely unlikely to conceive naturally. They talked about doing artificial insemination, but when Carole met Kurt in the hospital and brought up the idea of fostering, they decided that rather than bring another child in the world they would help take care of the ones that were already here. So they contacted Social Services, got their foster parent application packet, and filled out the hours of paperwork. They went through two home studies, and weeks of training before they finally met Ola, their first foster child.

Finn was 5 when 7 year old Ola came to live with them, and she stayed for a year before going back to her biological mother. They knew Ola was not going to stay with them from the day they met her, so while it was hard to say goodbye they were prepared for it to happen. They worked closely with her biological mother in helping her get her daughter back, and they still saw Ola on her birthdays. She was 14 now, and still considered Burt and Carole a vital part of her life. They gave her a home when her mother was unable to, and they were never condescending toward her mother. While she was timid at first, they built up a good, loving relationship with their foster daughter.

Four months after Ola went back to her mother, when Finn was almost 7, Burt and Carole met 5 year old Joe. Joe's mother had her rights terminated and his father was drug-addicted and didn't know about Joe. Burt and Carole took Joe for 10 months while his father went through rehab. The father worked extremely hard to reunify with his son, and succeeded. Burt and Carole were a vital part of that process. They helped him figure out how to be a father, guided him through getting to know Joe, brought Joe for visits, and had his father at their house for holidays so he could have them with his son. Now that Joe was a big 10 year old, his father was very stable and a good father. They moved to Indiana to be closer to family, but Burt and Carole got to talk to him on the phone at least once a month.

Nina became their foster child a few months later, and lived with them for 11 months. Both of her parents had their rights terminated, and Burt and Carole were prepared to adopt 4 year old Nina, who had become a beloved part of their family. As they started the adoption process, however, an aunt from Tennessee came out of the woodwork and claimed Nina. Nina went to live with her, and they hadn't heard from her since. That one was the hardest of the three to say goodbye to. Burt loved all three of the like they were his own, but they'd known Ola and Joe were going back; they'd thought they might be able to keep Nina.

All three of the kids came with challenges. Burt recalled how Joe had hoarded food in his bedroom, he would pick fights with Finn, and oh boy, did he have a temper! Ola had panic attacks and several health challenges, and Nina had autism. But they'd all won a part of Burt's heart, and he'd never forget any of them.

When Carole told him about Kurt, he had his doubts. He wasn't sure they could take a child like him. He wanted to, of course, but Burt had read in his file the kind of abuse Kurt had endured…well, he'd read up on traumatized children, and he knew they had Finn to worry about as well. But Kurt's story broke his heart, and he and Carole took precautions and accepted Kurt into their home. This time, the idea of permanency was present from the beginning.

Those were the hardest few months Burt had ever gone through with a foster child. It was hard on their whole family, and Burt questioned over and over again whether they should call Social Services and have him removed. He was concerned about the affect it was having on Finn, on their whole family, and Kurt wasn't getting any better. When at last he started talking to them, he still couldn't come into close contact with Burt. Burt felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells in his own home. He was receiving black eyes, bruises and having things thrown at him daily. He was constantly replacing things and patching holes in the walls. That stay at Harding was Burt grasping at straws. Something had to work…_something_ had to work! Kurt wasn't living much of a life, and it was taking its toll on everyone. He didn't want to relinquish custody, but at that point he was afraid of what would happen if they _didn't._

When Kurt came home again, he was a different boy. It wasn't perfect…far from it, but now the issues were issues they could deal with, and they actually got to know Kurt as a person, and it turned out he was a really neat little guy! It took a while for them to actually see the real Kurt…the one they knew now. Kurt was extremely hesitant to show them his true colors, the fact that he wasn't as stereotypically masculine as Finn…he liked fashion, design, art, and dancing. He had more in common with the girls than the boys—though he had some wonderful male friends as well—and he loved to bake. Burt could tell Kurt was afraid of what they would say if they found out. He and Carole allowed him to be himself, encouraged him to pursue the things he wanted to, and supported him all the way, and eventually got to know the true Kurt.

Kurt had gone from violent stranger in his home to beloved son that he would do anything to protect and ensure happiness. Adopting him had been the best day of his life…aside from his wedding and receiving Finn as a son. Kurt was funny, outgoing, sweet, sensitive, talented, and smart.

He and Carole had questioned Kurt's sexuality amongst themselves, but he was their son no matter what, and they wanted him to be happy and a decent human being. He wanted to do Kurt's biological parents right, and raise a son they would be proud of. He thanked them daily for guiding Burt and Carole to their son. He didn't know whether God existed or not…he didn't know if Kurt's parents were in some kind of after-life, but if they were he knew they would be happy with how their son was turning out. That short video he had seen of them taught him that they were a couple that loved their children very much, and he knew they would want the best for Kurt.

So when Kurt was having trouble at school, Burt made it his first priority to ensure Kurt's safety. He wished he had done more over those few weeks Kurt was in 6th grade, and being tortured at school. The boys hadn't told him how bad it was, and then they'd gotten that phone call…probably the worst of Burt's life. They'd had no idea where their son was for several hours, and when he was finally found unconscious, they'd known it was bullying at work. They knew they couldn't send him back there, but where to send him had been a problem. They weren't a religious family, but even religious school would have been an option to escape bullying, if they weren't afraid it would cause greater problems later if it turned out Kurt _was_ gay. Cory's suggestion of Bajar's had been welcome, it sounded perfect for Kurt, but they couldn't get him in until 7th grade. Homeschooling was the obvious choice, and Kurt did so well with it.

Burt was proud of his sons. Both of them. Kurt defied all odds, he was constantly overcoming every barrier that was in his way, and working harder than anyone to overcome horrors that Burt could only imagine. He went forth into every day, not knowing if he would be triggered into a panic attack or a flashback, but living his life as best he could anyway. He didn't have a choice. Kurt was the bravest person he knew.

Finn took every challenge Kurt came with and helped him in every way he could. There was no doubt in Burt's mind that Kurt wouldn't have made half the progress he had as quickly as he had if he didn't have his brother to help him along. They weren't brothers by blood but Burt hadn't seen a stronger brotherly bond anywhere. Finn would stand up to any bully who came up to Kurt, without regards for his own safety. Finn was a remarkable young man, who cared and loved unapologetically. He was talented on the football field, and Burt could see the love of the game in his boy's eyes. It was a passion they shared and he loved watching Finn's games, cheering him on at the sidelines.

Burt had never been a fan of ballet, but he never let that stop him from going to Kurt's shows, and he _loved_ watching Kurt dance his little heart out onstage, he was beyond happy knowing his son was doing what he loved. He didn't care if that was football or ballet, his boys had their talents and Burt wouldn't let anything he could stop stand in the way of his boys achieving their dreams.

_ I'm finally well again, and now back to lovely work tomorrow. I know I've been crazy about updating the last few days, but a 3 day stomach flu gives you a lot of time; my life is actually quite busy lol. I haven't started anything beyond this...so my guess is that the next chapter won't be out until Wednesday at the earliest. Maybe after the New Year. In any case, this extra long chapter should make up for it! Before you exit, there's a little button underneath, you should click it and tell me what you think! And as always-thanks for reading, and thanks for reviewing! Happy New Year!_


	9. Chapter 9

It was the first day of school, 7:00 and Kurt wasn't up yet. Kurt was usually the type to get ready 3 hours ahead of time, but Carole hadn't seen him yet. She went up to his room and knocked on the door, cracking it open to find Kurt sitting on his bed, knees curled up to his chest, and holding his old, worn teddy bear.

"Oh, honey," Carole exclaimed, moving to the bed to sit next to Kurt, who curled into her.

Kurt, for his part, was terrified. He was more than used to changing schools; this was the 10th school he had been in since he was placed in the system, but he'd never been attacked at school like he had last year and that scared him. Those weren't his caregivers, they were random people out in public. What's to say this school would be any different?

Except that these kids were different…these kids all loved the arts. They were, he imagined, more like the kids in his ballet class. So they might be accepting of him as a person, but did that mean they would be accepting of his weirdness and panic attacks? He'd been working relentlessly with Dr. Wheeler since "the incident" to make sure he was ready for this, but now that it was here he wasn't sure he could do it.

He got up for school that morning bright and early. He took a shower, packed his dance clothes and dance shoes, along with his school books and notebooks in his bag, went through his moisturizing routine, combed his hair, and picked out his favorite, most fashionable outfit. He wanted to look good for his first day of school…he wanted to make an impression. Then, he changed into something more inconspicuous, but still fashionable. Maybe he wanted to try to blend in a little more. Then, he changed again into something more "Finn approved." Maybe it would be best if he dressed down until he knew what the school was like. He wasn't sure he wanted to stand out at all.

And suddenly, he wasn't sure he could do this at all. He sat on his bed, hugging his old friend Paddington to his chest, and that was how his mom found him 20 minutes later. He curled into her, trying not to cry—he didn't want to go to school with red, swollen eyes. She held him for a good 10 minutes, rubbing his back and humming, before he turned to look at her.

"What if it's no different? What if I freak out there and they all turn on me?" he asked. Of course, they'd gone over this before and he knew there was no easy answer, but he was nervous.

"We'll deal with that if it happens, honey. But you've been working so hard on your coping mechanisms, your breathing techniques and your calming routines. Use them, and leave the room if you need to. The school knows if they need to call me they can. And remember to try to have fun; be your amazing self and you'll be bound to make friends!" Carole tried to reassure her son.

Finally, Kurt swallowed, nodded, and was able to go downstairs for breakfast. Carole had made pancakes, which were staying warm in the oven. Finn was impatiently waiting at the table. His eyes kind of bugged at his brother's outfit; it was something _he_ would wear, but not his fashion forward brother. But he didn't say anything; his brother looked nervous, and he was supposed to try to cheer him up. And usually, Finn was good at doing that, but he didn't even know what to say to Kurt this morning. It was his first day back at school since being attacked and Finn understood that he was nervous. He wasn't that smart, but he knew his brother. So he settled for repeating some jokes the kids had been telling at lunch last year.

"Hey Kurt," Finn got his brother's attention.

"Yeah," Kurt asked, looking up from buttering his pancakes.

"How do you make a tissue dance?" Finn asked. Kurt just looked at him with an idiotic expression.

"Put a little boogie in it!" Finn stated, proceeding to pretend to blow his nose into his napkin. Kurt just stared at him for a minute, then cracked a smile, then laughed out loud.

"You are so weird," he said, going back to his pancakes.

"Maybe, but I made you smile" Finn shrugged.

Kurt paused. Yeah, Finn was weird sometimes, but he really was the world's best brother. With the world's worst jokes.

"Thanks, Finn," Kurt said, sincerely.

"Hey seriously bro, you're gonna do fine today. And if anybody gives you any trouble, you tell me and I'll go beat them up," Finn told him seriously.

Kurt laughed. "Noted," he said, "but I hope it's different this time."

"Ready to go, Kurt?" Burt asked 20 minutes later. Bajar was close to Burt's shop, so he would be dropping Kurt off while Finn continued to walk to school.

Kurt nodded, slinging his bag over his shoulder and following his dad out the door.

Kurt was quiet on the way to school, and Burt took note when his breathing started getting heavy. He pulled over to the side of the road and put a hand on his son's back, rubbing gently.

"Calm down Kurt, breathe," he instructed gently. Kurt did so, breathing deeply and rhythmically, trying to regain control of himself. 5 minutes later, he told Burt to continue driving.

"You OK, Kid?" Burt asked, hand still on Kurt's back.

"Yeah, I got a hold of it before it got bad," Kurt replied. Burt nodded and pulled back onto the road.

"I really think you're going to like it here," he told his son. "But if you have any problems, you know mom and I are here for you."

Kurt nodded as Burt pulled into the school parking lot.

"Thanks dad," he said, climbing out of the car with his bag slung over his shoulder, and slamming the door.

He saw Brittany at the flagpole, their agreed upon meeting spot, and quickly made his way over to her, wrapping his arms around her in a friendly hug.

"Kurtie! Why aren't you wearing your pretty clothes? Did Finn dress you this morning?" she asked, looking him over.

"No," Kurt sighed, "I just wanted to blend in," he told his friend.

"Well, tomorrow wear your pretty clothes. Look, everyone else is," she pointed out. Kurt looked around. She was right; everyone was dressed nicely. Maybe not fashionably, but at least semi. In trying _not_ to stand out, Kurt was actually going to draw _more_ attention to himself. Again, he sighed.

"I'll keep that in mind."

The two had been there the previous week for a new student orientation, so they knew where their lockers and homeroom were already. Brittany followed Kurt to his locker, where he dropped off his dance clothes; he wouldn't need that until later. Then the two made their way to Brittany's locker. It was a small school, with just around 20 kids in each grade, so the 7th and 8th graders had separate academic classes, but most of their arts classes together. They were required to take ballet and theater, with a choice of one other musical elective. Once they were in high school, they would choose one area to concentrate on, but in middle school they were to be exposed to multiple concentrations.

Kurt made his way to his homeroom; the room was mostly full but he found an empty seat next to a tall boy with blond hair.

"Hi, I'm Max," he introduced himself.

"Kurt," Kurt smiled and shook his hand, about to say something else but the teacher, Ms. Ling, entered at that moment and sorted them into alphabetical order. Kurt ended up in the second row, near the center of the room. His morning classes went pretty well. It was an A day, so he had English, then Math. Tomorrow he would have History and Science, and the afternoons would be filled with his arts classes. It was quite the change from public school!

Lunchtime came, and Kurt wandered around lost for a moment with his lunch tray before he spotted Brittany. He quickly made his way to an empty table and put his bag on the seat next to him to save it for his friend. A girl, Natalie, who was in his classes approached him.

"Can I sit here?" she asked. Kurt nodded, and she took the seat across from him.

"So what did you think of morning classes?" she asked.

"They were fine," Kurt commented. "A lot different than public school…a lot longer." Classes here were 90 minutes instead of 45, but both of the teachers said that they'd have time to work on homework for the last 20-30 minutes of class, as they didn't get a study hall.

"Yeah," Natalie agreed, "but the teachers seem nice enough. I'm excited for Ballet!"

"Me too!" exclaimed Kurt. "Theater too, I've done a lot of ballet, but I haven't done much theater."

By this time, Brittany had gotten her food and Kurt moved his bag so she could sit next to him.

"Brit, this is Natalie, she's in my class," Kurt introduced.

Max, and an 8th grader named Derek took seats at their table as well.

"So where did you do ballet?" Natalie asked Kurt after they had finished the introductions.

"Brittany and I have done OSU's ballet showcases for the past few years. We've done _The Nutcracker_ for the past two Christmases, _Peter Pan_ last summer and _Snow White_ a few months ago," Kurt explained.

"Really?" Natalie asked, excited. "I saw that performance last Christmas! It was really good! Who were you?"

"I was Clara, he was Fritz," Brittany exclaimed, "and the best Fritz ever! What have you done?"

"That was amazing!" Natalie stated, excitedly, once again. "I've done theater. I was Tiny Tim in _A Christmas Carol_, and Molly in _Annie,_ but I don't have that much experience besides. I had to work really hard on my audition to make up for it," Natalie explained.

Max was apparently an amazing violinist, but wasn't looking forward to the dramatic arts quite as much as his elective, orchestra. Derek was talented in ballet, and had moved here to come to this school. Kurt noticed immediately how attractive Derek was. He was 13, an 8th grader like Brittany but already well into puberty. He was tall, with short black hair, skinny but muscular; Kurt could tell he was strong. Kurt quickly looked away when Derek's eyes met his.

After lunch was dance; they would be doing ballet first quarter. Kurt went to his locker to exchange his books for his dance clothes and dance shoes, and made his way back to the boy's changing room. There were a two changing stalls, but most of the boys changed in the general area rather than wait; Kurt opted for a stall, he wasn't comfortable changing in front of other boys. There were only 13 boys in 7th and 8th grade combined, where there were 23 girls. At least this school had the option. He left his clothes in a cubby, and joined the other boys in heading toward the studio. The instructor, Mr. Heely, talked to them for the first 20 minutes of class, then had them take places at the Barre. They did warm ups, then he led them through exercises, which he came around to correct along with 3 seniors. Kurt had to be adjusted several times, but reminded himself to breathe and keep calm, and was able to successfully manage. He was quite used to touch in dance, having been through years of it. He was directly across from Derek, who kept making stupid faces at Kurt, causing Kurt to bust out a giggle more than once and earning him a glare from Mr. Heely or one of the assistants.

Their last class of the day was choir. The instructor asked them to each take a turn singing a short excerpt of a piece, whatever they wanted given that it was appropriate. Kurt chose _All You Need Is Love_. He had a bit of a squeaky voice, but he was going through puberty and had been assured that it would get better. The class seemed to think he did pretty good, anyway, and at the end he'd had a place in the middle, the higher end of the boys.

Kurt met up with Brittany after grabbing his things from his locker, and as they exited the school was pleased to see his dad already waiting.

"Bye Kurt, Bye Brittany!" he heard, and turned to see Natalie heading toward her own mother's car. They waved back and Kurt climbed into the front seat, Brittany taking the back.

"So? How was it?" Burt asked, taking note of the happy expression on his son's face. Burt, wanting to make sure Kurt wasn't left waiting, arrived at the school 30 minutes early. Nobody could call him an anxious father! Kurt didn't need to know that.

"Great!" Kurt replied, excitement evident in his voice. "I met some really nice kids, and I have all of my afternoon classes with Brit! I only had Math and English today, but the teachers seem nice!"

"Mr. Hummel, can you make sure Kurt dresses himself tomorrow? Finn doesn't do a good job," Brittany asked, leaning forward between the seats.

"Seatbelt, Brit," Burt commanded, before finishing, "Kurt will wear whatever he feels comfortable in tomorrow."

"I'll dress myself, Brit," Kurt turned around, giving her a wink. Brittany and Kurt talked Burt's ear off about their day during the drive to Brittany's house to drop her off.

"So I'm picking you up tomorrow morning, and your mom is picking you both up after school, correct?" he double checked. They'd gone over this plan the other day.

"Yes, sir!" Brittany said, climbing out of the car. "See you tomorrow, Kurtie!"

Burt pulled the car back onto the road, and the two made their way home, happy conversation between them.

Carole baked a special dinner to celebrate the boys' first day of school. Finn had apparently had a good day as well! He didn't like his classes much, but he made the football team over the summer and had his first game the next week. He asked about Kurt's day, and was happy to hear his brother had had a good one.

The second day at Bajar's went just as well as the first, except Kurt was dressed much more like himself, and was even complimented on it! Kurt didn't like science much, but it was a necessary evil and he was glad he only had to endure it every other day. History was fine, they were going to study Ancient Egypt this year, which Kurt found fascinating. He enjoyed spending lunch with the kids that he could see becoming his little group of friends at Bajar's. Derek was hilarious and sweet, he always had something to say. Max was shy, but kind. He had an outrageous sense of fashion, but Kurt loved his music selection. Natalie was funny and nice, she always made sure everybody was included in conversation and got overly enthusiastic about every little thing.

Kurt learned in theater that the school's Christmas program, _A Christmas Carol_ auditions would be in two weeks. It would mainly be performed by the high school level, but some of the younger kids would be involved as well. The end-of-year program would be _Sound of Music _and _Fiddler on the Roof_ that year, and everybody in theater would be involved in one of the two. Kurt, while alright with being a part of either, was immediately excited about the prospect of _Sound of Music; _his mother's favorite musical! He would have to work extra hard to be a part of that!

His final class of the day was Kurt's chosen instrument, violin. He was in the beginners class, as he didn't have any experience, but he enjoyed it. He had a 25 minute on-on-one lesson with a senior, Julia, and then an hour orchestra lesson.

It may be only the second day, but Kurt was absolutely thrilled with his new school. The kids seemed nice, the classes were challenging, both academics and arts, and most important of all, he felt safe.

XXXXX

Over the next two months, Kurt absolutely thrived in Bajar. He was doing _The Nutcracker_ again, but his parents had noticed how taxing the semester had been for Kurt. While claimed to be happy, he was also exhausted and never home. His new school was demanding, as was the ballet showcase and Kurt still had to go to therapy twice a week. He was 12, and they worried that dance and school was taking over his chance to be a kid. So they decided that since he got so much performance time at school, he would not be doing the spring showcase. Kurt was not happy. Scratch that; Kurt threw a major fit. He shattered a plate and cracked the wood in the chair he threw over, but all it got him was sent to his parents' room to calm down for an hour and grounded for 5 days. Burt and Carole assured Kurt that he would still see Sophia and Katie on weekends, they'd just have to arrange time to hang out with them. After a week of pouting, Kurt gave in. Really, only because he had no other choice, but he finally realized that he would be giving up things like the spring musical at Bajar if he continued doing the showcase, because of evening practices.

But other than the demanding of nature (though less so in the middle school group than high school), Burt and Carole were thrilled with how well Kurt was doing in Bajar, as was Kurt. He hadn't had so much as a panic attack in weeks. He had them several times in the first few weeks, but he seemed to have gotten a good hold on them. He wasn't doing the Christmas program at Bajar this year, but so few of the younger kids were, and really it was only because Kurt's evenings were taken up by _The Nutcracker_. He made a great group of friends who loved Kurt for himself, and he was smiling more than they'd seen in a long time.

Kurt still made time for his old friends; Blaine was apparently getting on quite well with his old group, and he, Blaine, Sophia and Katie went to the mall or the movies (his parents agreed to an unsupervised movie, but he still had to have an adult at the mall). But in many ways, Blaine seemed to have taken his place in that little group, and Kurt was spending more and more time with his Bajar friends on weekends. He especially enjoyed his time with Derek. Derek was always so sweet to him, and Kurt enjoyed being sweet back to Derek. Kurt and Derek partnered every time they could in classes, and started hanging out outside of school on weekends. He joined Kurt and his other friends on occasion, but Blaine didn't seem to like him much and Sophia and Katie were overly enthusiastic (more so than usual) whenever Derek was around.

Kurt thought back to what Blaine had said several months prior, about being gay, and he thought maybe he was too. He guessed he'd thought so for a long time, but his life was too complicated to give thought to what that meant, or acknowledge the feelings. His only experience with understanding what it meant to like boys had been with Mr. Douser. But he was understanding now that maybe it would be OK. He'd seen kids at his school walking around holding hands with someone of the same gender, and nobody really cared—though he knew this school was on a totally different league than public schools. As for his parents though, Kurt wasn't sure what they would think. But they'd always encouraged him to be himself, and they supported him through everything. His dad was a scruffy, rough around the edges tough kind of guy, Kurt thought. He liked cars, football, fishing and beer. But he had no problem going to an art museum, a show, or shopping with Kurt. He'd even let Kurt give him makeovers, and he wore the outfits Kurt put together to some of his shows (though he maintained that Kurt had his style, Burt had his, and he didn't feel the need to change it). Kurt didn't _think_ his parents would have a problem with it, but he was still half waiting for the day that _something_ about Kurt would push him over the edge.

But Kurt liked the feelings Derek gave him, he felt his stomach flip every time he saw Derek and he always wanted him around. Sometimes watching Derek at work in his ballet dance clothes did other…things to him. He felt things for Derek that he'd felt for other boys before, not as strongly, but had never felt for a girl. And they weren't bad feelings. He wasn't sure that Derek was gay, but he sure flirted with Kurt a lot (or at least, Kurt thought it was flirting, and Natalie said it was flirting), and Kurt thought he _might_ be.

"Hey, Kurt," Derek caught up to him as he and Brittany were heading toward her mother's car after school on the Thanksgiving, the week before _The Nutcracker _was due to premier. They both had a rehearsal that day. Kurt loved the showcase, he really did, but his school was so much more physically taxing than his other school, and part of him would be really glad when it was over. He didn't want to admit it, but he thought his parents were right about dropping it.

"I'll be right there," Kurt told Brittany, who ran to her mother's car and climbed in the front seat.

"Hey, Derek," Kurt said, turning to talk to the boy he liked; Derek's normal huge grin plastered to his face.

"I guess I could have just called you tonight," Derek began, "I know you have to get to rehearsal. I just…wanted to know if…you're going Black Friday shopping?" Derek stumbled over the words.

"No—" Kurt responded. As much as he loved shopping he couldn't mentally deal with the crowds that would happen on Black Friday. Kurt hoped Derek wasn't about to ask him to go—he didn't want to have to turn him down!

"Well, do you want to? I always go with my mom and sister, but it would be a lot more fun if you were there," Derek prompted, hopefully.

"I…I can't," Kurt said, apologetically. Derek's face fell, but Kurt couldn't elaborate on why; he didn't want Derek to know about his issues. He didn't want him to know about his past. "I have to go, I have rehearsal tonight," Kurt went on. He didn't want to drop the conversation, but he really did have to go. And he had to think of what to say.

"Can I call you tonight?" Derek asked.

"Sure," Kurt said, turning back to Mrs. Pierce's car, waving to Derek as he climbed in the back.

Rehearsal went well, the dancers all felt ready for the performance; most of them were repeats, and as Kurt had danced his part for two years, he knew it well. Burt picked him and Brittany up, and dropped her off at her house before making their way home.

Kurt told his dad at dinner that he'd been invited Black Friday shopping with Derek, and Burt told him no before he even asked if he could go. Carole wasn't feeling well and was sleeping upstairs, and Finn was at Troy's house, so it was just the two of them.

"I'm sorry, Kurt, it's just out of the question. There's no way of controlling what will happen, it's not safe, I –"

"Dad, I already told him no," Kurt cut him off, "it's just…" he paused.

"Just what, Kurt?" Burt prompted him to continue.

"You would let Finn go, if he asked…" Kurt pointed out.

"Finn wouldn't want to, you know how he hates shopping," Burt responded.

"Well yeah, but if he did want to…you would let him go with a friend and their mom," Kurt pressed.

Burt sighed. "Kurt, that's not fair. Yes, we probably would, and I know you hate being treated differently than Finn but the truth is, you are two different kids, and you both have different—"

"Dad, that's not fair!"

"Don't interrupt me, Kurt," Burt scolded. Kurt sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "You are two different kids, and you both have different needs. Finn isn't affected like you are by being in large, chaotic environments. It wouldn't be fair to not allow him to do something because you have a problem with it,"

"It's not—"

"Kurt, I asked you not to interrupt me," Burt continued. "Finn would never be allowed to do the amount of extracurriculars that you do. You've proven that you can keep up your grades while you participate in activities, and Finn struggles with that. You've proven yourself to be responsible and remember your responsibilities, and you get a lot more privileges then Finn as a result. He may get to do things you don't, and I'm sorry about that Kurt, but you know why that is. It's not a punishment for you, it's a precaution," he finished gently. "We just want to keep you safe, kiddo."

Kurt continued to pout in his chair. He had nothing else to say, he knew arguing would get him nowhere and the truth was, Black Friday shopping scared the crap out of him. He simply hated when his attacks caused him not to be able to do something he otherwise would. His dad was right, though. He knew it, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"Why don't you ask Derek to come over here," Burt suggested. "Maybe your other friends, too. You can watch movies or do whatever." Kurt thought maybe he would, but he was pretty sure Derek would prefer to go shopping with his mom.

Derek did come over on Friday, after he was done shopping with his mother. Natalie, Brittany and Max also ended up coming, and the five of them watched musicals in the living room for a few hours. They all stayed for dinner and went home afterward.

The weeks preceding Christmas passed quickly for Kurt. He had a choir concert, but that was his only Christmas performance for Bajar. His _Nutcracker_ performance went well, except that the Mouse King fell off the stage and broke his leg the second week of performances and the rest of the show had to be cancelled. The understudy took his place the rest of the time, but he wasn't the dancer Marcus was.

The first day of winter break, Saturday, Katie, Sophia and Blaine came over to Kurt's.

"What happened to you?" Kurt asked Blaine the moment he saw his big black eye.

"Some guys at school," Blaine stated simply. "You're lucky you got out of there, Kurt."

"They punched you?" Kurt asked, getting upset. He began his deep breathing, it was reminding him of the incident last year and he hadn't had a panic attack in months; he didn't want to ruin his record.

"No…well, this time I got elbowed but it's usually just words. It's not a big deal," Blaine tried to shrug it off.

"It's a very big deal," Burt said, entering the mudroom where the kids were standing. He'd heard it all and he could see Kurt's heavy breathing. "Take off your coats and go in the living room," he instructed the kids, taking hold of Kurt's elbow and leading him to the kitchen. He got his son a glass of water and told him to take little sips.

10 minutes later, Kurt was feeling better and the two entered the living room where the rest of the kids were congregated, Finn included. Burt handed Blaine the ice pack he'd grabbed from the freezer.

"It happened yesterday Mr. Hummel," Blaine objected. "I already iced it."

"You should keep ice on it, anyway. Keep the swelling down," Burt insisted. Blaine placed the ice pack on his eye in obedience. "Do your parents know about this? The school? What have they done?"

"Umm…they know, but they always catch me when there isn't a teacher around. And this was the first time it got physical. My parents tell me to man up. My dad thinks joining football will keep them off my back. I…I came out this year. They don't like that I'm gay, and neither do my parents. I think my dad thinks it'll turn me into more of a boy." Blaine explained.

Burt felt his face going red. What kind of parent blames their kid for being bullied, like it's their fault? Like his sexuality was something he could control? It's the parent's responsibility to protect their kids, however possible! And the school clearly wasn't doing enough if it was turning physical. He was glad he'd gotten Kurt out of there.

"It takes guts to come out around here, Blaine," Burt told him. "I'm proud of you for that. You know who you are and that's great. I'd like to talk to your parents, if you don't mind," he suggested. Burt suspected his own son was probably gay, or bisexual; he saw the way he looked at that Derek kid, and he wanted to help Blaine in whatever way he could. He wanted the world to be a safe place for children like his son to grow up. He wanted his son to be safe, no matter where he went. He knew he couldn't ensure that, but he could do his part in this one thing.

It was then that Kurt realized that his father would understand. So the day after Christmas, he got up the nerve to talk to them.

"Mom? Dad?" he approached them as they were cuddled on the couch watching TV. Finn was at a friend's house, and wouldn't be interrupting.

"What is it, honey?" Carole asked sitting up and opening her arm up so he could settle in next to her. He didn't, though. He sat in the arm chair across from them, instead.

"I was thinking about what you said to Blaine, dad, and I was wondering if you really felt that way? Is it really OK to be gay?"

Burt sat up, and looked his son in the eye. If this was the moment he thought it might be, he didn't want to screw it up. His son was young, he hadn't necessarily expected this for a while yet, but if Kurt was ready now then so was he. He had done a lot of research on sexuality to be ready for this moment if it ever did arise.

"Yes, Kurt," he responded. "People can't help their sexuality, and we should all be equally valued. It's tough for people who are gay, because a lot of people in the world don't understand, or are stuck in an unhealthy way of thinking, but there is no difference in my mind between being gay or straight."

"I'm straight, my coworker Yvonne happens to be a lesbian, and that is just the way it is, Kurt," Carole continued. "We're both happily married, working to support a family, and raising kids. There really isn't any difference."

Kurt took a deep breath, reassured by his parents' statements. "So you wouldn't mind if maybe I might like boys?" he asked quickly, choking over his words.

"Kurt, what we want is for you to be a good person, with strong morals. We want you to know right from wrong and stand up for what is right. We want you to pursue what makes you happy, and lead a life we can be proud of. Whether that life is with a woman, another man, or single, that doesn't matter to us. We love you, Kurt," Carole told him firmly.

Kurt sat there for a moment, breathing heavily. He was _not_ going to have a panic attack. He felt a cup of water being pushed into his hand, and a firm hand on his back, rubbing slowly. Burt had left without him noticing to get it.

"We're already proud of you, Kurt. We love you, no matter how you identify. You're our son," he assured his son. "You're 12, and that's still pretty young. If you know who you're attracted to, that's great. But I don't want yourself to shut yourself down to any other possibility. If you one day find yourself attracted to a woman, that's fine too. Just keep an open mind, alright?" Kurt nodded, lunging forward and wrapping his arms around his dad, dumping the water down both of their fronts between them. They both laughed, but he held his son close for several minutes before letting him go change.

Finn, for his part, was just as accepting as his parents when Kurt approached the subject with him.

"Well yeah, dude, I figured," he said. "I kinda thought you were dating Derek…"

Kurt sat, perplexed for several moments before answering. "We're just friends…but really? You already knew?"

"Well yeah…I don't see why it's such a big deal. I mean, it doesn't change anything, you're still my brother. Just cuz I don't wanna kiss dudes, doesn't mean I care if you do."

XXXXX

The next few months passed. Kurt was over the moon when he was assigned the role of "Kurt Von Trapp" from the _Sound of Music._ He found that he enjoyed acting very much. It took a lot of work to change his mindset from the wordless art of ballet to theater, but he was a good actor. He particularly loved this musical. It made him feel closer to his mom. His biological mom. It was her favorite musical, and he thought she would have loved to see him like this. She often sang songs when he was little, and he had vague memories of her beautiful voice, especially when they were in the midst of a performance.

He found that he didn't really miss the showcase that much. He was so busy with other things, and he had a lot more time to spend with his friends without it. He was still seeing Dr. Wheeler, but had gone down to once a week due to his amazing progress.

8th graders could drop one concentration area, and Kurt didn't take long to decide he wanted to drop violin. He was glad he'd gotten the opportunity to try it out, but he was uncomfortable with it and enjoyed the others so much more. His parents were supportive of his decision, and Kurt looked forward to packing it up at the end of the semester.

His crush on Derek continued, but the two did nothing more than flirt, both too nervous to make any kind of move. Kurt had not had a real panic attack since the beginning of the school year, something all of the Hummels were extremely happy about, but Kurt more than anybody. He'd had a few minor ones, but they were all controlled rather quickly, before they got out of hand.

The musical was due to perform in May, and Kurt was ready. He knew his part well, he was _good_ at his part, and he performed it spectacularly. Burt and Carole enjoyed watching their son on stage. He was a natural performer, and they could see how much he loved it. They hoped he never lost that spark.

XXXXX

In June, the Hummels received unexpected news. Carole had gone to the doctor after a bug that didn't seem to go away, and the news she received was...shocking.

"I thought it wasn't possible," Burt exclaimed.

"They never said impossible...they said improbable. But I'm pregnant, there's no doubt about it. She said about 13 weeks along, and I should be starting to show fairly soon. It'll be around Christmas," Carole told him.

Burt was shell shocked. A baby? He had two teenagers...and now a baby? Was he too old for a baby? Sure he was only 38, but still...this was the last thing he expected.

_Here it is! Sorry for the wait, busy life! Hope everyone had a great New Years! I'm hoping to get 10 up this weekend but can't promise :) I love reviews!_


	10. Chapter 10

_So I know the previous chapter was a little boring, but it was still important in terms of Kurt's development. This chapter has a lot going on though, so enjoy!_

"Kurt, give it back!"

"You've had it all morning, it's my turn!"

"You had it all _day_ yesterday"

"You were grounded! That's not my problem!"

"So what? You still had it! Now give it back!"

"No! You're being selfish!"

"Me? _You_ had it all day yesterday and you _totally_ just took it out of my hands!"

"Oh My God, Finn, you're so vexatious!"

"You can't use words I don't know to insult me! That's not fair, you're just pointing out you know more words than me!"

"Well I do…"

"Well you're a jerk!"

"Brute!"

"Idiot!"

"Nincompoop"

"Loud mouthed poop weasel"

"Cantankerous oaf!"

"That is ENOUGH!" It was the first week of summer break, and the boys had spent the majority of it fighting. Every little thing turned into a fight. Never physical…well, almost never. Finn did throw a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Kurt the other day. Mostly just yelling and being mean to one another, but it was never-ending. Carole wasn't feeling well, and had spent most of the week laying down in bed, leaving Burt to deal with things with the boys, and he was quickly growing tired of breaking up fights. He was completely fed up with his boys. He took the ipad out of Kurt's hands.

"Kitchen table. Both of you. _Now." _He said, sternly. The boys followed orders, too intimidated not to.

"Kurt, over here, across from Finn," Burt ordered. When Kurt had done so, Burt continued, gesturing to the ipad. "This is mine for the next week. Neither one of you gets to touch it. Now, you are both going to sit here for the next 13 minutes. You are going to look each other in the eye, and you are not going to look away or make a sound. Got it?"

"Dad, come on! We're 13, not 8," Kurt protested.

"_I'm _13. You're only 12," Finn pointed out.

"Shut up, Jerk!"

"Butt face"

"Congratulations, you've just made it 15 minutes," Burt cut in. "You act like a couple of 8 year olds screaming at each other and calling each other names, then you can sit in time-out like a couple of 8 year olds," Burt said, moving to the oven and setting the timer for 15 minutes. "Your mother is sick. She needs to rest, not listen to the two of you bicker and fight. 15 minutes, no noise. Look at each other, lock eyes. I mean it," Burt warned, turning to start the coffee pot.

Kurt was annoyed. His dad was treating them like they were 8! And Finn was just being an annoying jerk. This was all his fault! Kurt kicked his foot out, catching Finn in the knee.

"OW! Shit, Kurt, what's your problem?" Finn exclaimed.

"Kurt, feet to yourself. Finn, you watch your language! You've just earned yourself another 2 minutes," Burt informed them calmly, adding the time to the timer. At last, the boys were silent. Staring at each other at the table.

The more Kurt thought about it, the more he realized that maybe he _had_ been egging Finn on lately. Teasing him, doing little things just to annoy him, but Finn was being ultra-sensitive and rude to Kurt, too. Maybe they should try to make up. He did miss the way things used to be between him and Finn. Finn's face was twisted in thought as well…Kurt wondered what he was thinking about. After his—ugh—_time out_, he would apologize. 10 minutes in, Kurt was _bored._ And his eyes were watering. He was tired of staring at Finn's face. He blinked several times and trained his eyes back on Finn's. This was…cruel and unusual punishment. He knew he and Finn had been annoying, but he couldn't believe his dad was _actually_ making them do this.

Kurt sighed, and Finn cracked a smile and stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth. Kurt had to crack a grin, and crossed his eyes back. Finn wiggled his ears—an ability Kurt had been jealous of. He couldn't help but laugh at the goofy look on his brother's face.

"Quiet," Burt commanded, but the boys continued making goofy faces the remaining 5 minutes. When the timer went off, Burt sat down at the end, between the two boys.

"Now, talk. What's going on with you two," he asked, calmly.

Nobody talked for a few moments, until Finn sighed.

"I just…."

"Yes?" Burt prompted.

"I miss the way it used to be. You always wanted to be around me, you liked playing with me. We were best friends," Finn said. "Now, you're so into your fancy school and your talented friends, it's like I don't exist anymore. I'm just some stupid kid you live with that doesn't know as much as you and is no fun to hang with."

"Finn—" Kurt said, startled. He had no idea Finn felt like that. He missed the way things used to be too, but he thought Finn would be relieved to not constantly have Kurt on his back.

"I…I just… I miss you too," he finally got out. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way…we're just…different people. You have your friends, and I have mine. We like different things, and I finally found a place that I belong. I didn't mean to leave you out, though. We're brothers, we'll always be brothers. Maybe this summer we can find things to do together," Kurt suggested.

"I'd like that," Finn agreed.

"That's more like it. You guys need to learn to talk things out rather than yelling at each other and calling names. You're brothers. You're supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down by calling them names or making them feel bad about themselves," Burt scolded, lightly.

"I'm sorry," Finn mumbled, though genuinely.

"Me too," Kurt agreed.

And the boys spent the rest of the afternoon playing outside together. They rode their bikes, and Finn convinced Kurt to give street hockey a try. Kurt wasn't good at it, but he got a little better…enough to block a few of Finn's shots, and even score a point of his own!

Carole was still not feeling well, but as they'd found out about the pregnancy pretty late in the game and had only known a week, the first trimester was already almost over. Carole had always had a bit of irregularity, and they didn't think pregnancy was a possibility for them. They had talked about the possibility of fostering again, but Kurt was so up and down in his progress and they were concerned about the triggers bringing another abused or neglected child into the home would cause for him. They decided to wait a few more years…once Kurt was 15 or 16, maybe they'd consider it. They never considered the possibility of another child the natural way—the doctor said Burt was basically shooting blanks. He was "virtually" sterile.

At first Burt was not happy. He had no idea what to do with a baby; Finn was 2 when he met him. They had their hands full with Kurt and Finn, and he felt like having a baby would take the attention both boys craved away from them. But, ready or not this baby was coming, and the more Burt thought about it, the happier he became. Because the truth was, Kurt was doing _really _well, and he thought both boys would come to be happy about the baby. He loved his boys, but they had room in their hearts to love another baby, too. And Burt did love this baby. Just knowing that this child was being created inside his wife's belly was a pretty special thing. They knew they would have to tell the boys, soon. They were getting worried about their mother being sick for so long, and Carole knew she couldn't hide it much longer. She wasn't showing yet, but she was gaining weight and her stomach was getting thicker. It wouldn't be long now before she started developing a bump. So later that same day, they called the boys inside for dinner, having decided to tell them then.

"Feeling better, mom?" Kurt asked as he took his place next to her.

"Not completely, but I will," she assured him. "I heard some fighting going on, earlier. You boys make up?"

Kurt and Finn both had the decency to flush, ashamedly. "Yes ma'am, we made up. Sorry we bothered you," Finn replied, honestly.

"It's OK. I'm just glad you made up. There's something your dad and I want to talk with you both about, though," she started.

Kurt and Finn, automatically assuming they were going to be scolded more, looked down at their plates, but they quickly discovered that wasn't where this was going.

"As you know, mom hasn't been feeling well lately," Burt told them. "Last week, she went to the doctor to find out if something was wrong."

"Are you sick, mom?" Finn asked, concern evident.

"No," Carole assured him. "I'm not sick, and I'll get better in just a few months. It turns out, we're pregnant! We're going to have a baby this December!"

She got two completely flabbergasted stares back at her.

"But…I thought that couldn't happen? You said that couldn't happen," Finn exclaimed.

"Yes, we didn't think it could. But it did…we are pregnant. Sometimes, the unexpected happens and when it does you have to go with it," Carole explained.

Kurt left the table, and went up to his room where he lay down on his bed and curled his legs into each other. Now, his parents were getting the baby they always wanted…the one they both created. He didn't think they would send him away…they'd adopted him, so they really couldn't…but how could they love the adopted foster kid with tons of issues the same way they love their perfect biological baby?

"Kurt?" Kurt turned over to see his mom standing in the doorway. She entered his room and took a seat on the bed next to him. "What's wrong, baby?" she asked.

Kurt simply shrugged.

"Honey, I can't help you if I don't know why you're upset," she pointed out. She waited for a few moments, when Kurt said nothing she continued. "Are you upset about the baby?"

Nod.

Carole had anticipated the different possible reactions of Kurt, and this was one of them. "Are you upset that I'm pregnant? You think there's a difference between biological children and adopted children?"

Kurt looked at his mother, tears shining in his eyes.

"Oh, honey. Listen, it's true that Burt and I had thought we couldn't have biological children, but we were never too upset by it. We wanted to give kids a home that needed one. And you know what? I'm glad we couldn't have children biologically back then, because it led us to meeting you, and sweetie there couldn't be any child in the world that I love more than you. I love you and Finn just as much as I love this baby and nothing could ever change that," she promised. Carole knew it would probably take time for Kurt to come around and in the meantime she'd just have to make sure to spend as much time with him as she could and let him help prepare for the baby. Finn was already on board, but she was pretty sure he would be. That kid never really let anything get him down, at least not for long.

Kurt shrugged. Sure, it sounded good in theory, but once the baby was here she wouldn't be able to help but love it most.

"Listen, I'm thinking you and me, cookie baking day tomorrow. How does that sound?" She wanted to promise him more, but she still wasn't feeling well and didn't want to make promises she couldn't keep. Kurt smiled and nodded in agreement.

XXXXX

Three weeks later, June was coming to an end. Carole was feeling much better now; she had a lot more energy and was no longer feeling sick all the time, but she was also beginning to show and her clothing was no longer fitting.

"Kurt?" she asked, peeking her head into his bedroom on a Saturday. "What are your plans for the rest of the day? I'm outgrowing all of my clothes and I need a new wardrobe."

She had to laugh at the speed in which Kurt jumped from his bed. "I can be ready in an hour!" he told her, rushing to the bathroom.

Carole was making good on her promise to spend as much time with the boys as she could, and they were both eating up the attention. Kurt was even starting to come around to the baby's arrival! True to his word, he arrived in the kitchen promptly 45 minutes later, dressed and ready to go. He poured himself a bowl of cereal. Finn had been invited to join them, but he wrinkled his nose and said he was going to Sam's.

Kurt and Carole had a wonderful time shopping. They went to thrift stores and resale shops, where things would be cheaper, and she was pleasantly surprised with how well Kurt could pick out and put together random things to make a really cute outfit. She knew he was good, she just didn't know how. A few hours later, Carole had a nice wardrobe that should last her most of her pregnancy, unless she grew to be enormous. She and Kurt went to a late afternoon lunch before heading home.

XXXXX

Later that night, Kurt received a call from Derek. He took it in the bathroom where he would have some privacy. Derek informed him that a bunch of kids from Bajar would be getting together at the playground that night to play Capture the Flag, and Derek wanted Kurt to go. Kurt wanted to, he really did. These were his school friends, who he felt safe with, and he'd played the game with them before. He wasn't sure how anything could go wrong, except that he was most definitely not allowed out of the house that late at night. But if there were a way to get in and out without his parents knowing… He agreed to go, and told Derek he'd see him at 11.

At 9:00, Kurt knocked on Finn's door. He decided if he was going to do this, he wanted Finn to come along. For a number of reasons. He felt safer riding to the park if Finn was there, he wanted Finn to be able to hang out with his school friends, and this was an activity that was right up his brother's alley. At Finn's answer, he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He spoke quietly so as not to alert their parents.

"Derek called me," he told his brother. "He said a bunch of kids from Bajar are meeting at 11 tonight at the playground to play Capture the Flag. He wants me to join, and I want you to come, too. What do you think?"

Finn's eyes widened at Kurt's idea. "Mom and dad would never go for that!" he told his brother.

"That's why we have to sneak out."

"Dude! Do you have any idea how much trouble we'll be in if we get caught?"

"No…not really…I assume a lot. Do you?" Kurt had never really been in any _real_ trouble. He'd been grounded several times, but never more than a week.

"No. But it won't be pretty. Seriously? You want to sneak out?" Finn asked, still flabbergasted.

"Yes."

Finn really did want to go with Kurt. He'd never been on an adventure like this with his brother, and while it was nerve racking so blatantly disobeying, he thought it sounded like a lot of fun. Plus, he had to be there to protect his brother if anything ended up going wrong.

"OK, then I'm in."

Kurt's smile widened. "OK. This is my idea. I saw it in a movie. I'll tell mom and dad I'm going to bed around 10. You say goodnight at 10:15. Stay in bed until 10:30, then arrange your pillows under your blanket to make it look like you're sleeping. Meet me in the baby's room after that. Hopefully mom will check on us before 10:30, but if not she'll think we're under the blankets. Hide in the closet. I'll be waiting for you there, or you wait for me there. We can leave from the baby room's window, there's plenty of roof there to make it to the tree, and we can climb down the tree. Sound good?"

Finn stared at his brother, flabbergasted yet impressed. He never thought _Kurt _would be the one making 'sneak out of the house at night without alerting the parents' plans. He nodded enthusiastically. It sounded great!

The plan went off as hoped, and the boys met in the baby room's closet. Kurt was happy Finn got there first. He had been a little nervous his brother would fall asleep or lose track of time. "You ready?" he asked. Finn nodded.

Kurt slid open the window, and the boys climbed onto the roof. Finn closed the window as far as he could, leaving a small crack at the bottom where they could pry it back open. Luckily, his dad had removed the screen for cleaning, so they didn't have to worry about that. They climbed down the tree and it was then that Kurt noticed their first complication. He doubted he would be able to get back _up_ the tree, and they didn't bring a key to the house. But they would figure it out when they got back, he was sure. There was nothing they could do about it now anyway, so the boys grabbed their bikes and rode across town to the playground.

A small group of kids were already there, but it was still early. He met up with Max, Natalie and Rose, and introduced his brother to those he didn't already know. Brittany showed up a few minutes later, along with Derek and Lisa. When everyone had arrived, a total of about 30, they split into two teams.

Kurt and his team, which included Finn, Derek, Natalie, Brittany, and several others stuffed their flag under a small fountain, and Derek and Jack volunteered to guard it. It was great fun! Kurt, Finn and Natalie tried to stick together, until Natalie was shot and had to go back to base and start over. Kurt and Finn's team won. It was Kara and Lousia who got the flag, but Kurt and Finn had been the ones to shoot the two guarding it so they had to go back to base. They were subsequently shot, themselves, but it gave Kara and Lousia the opportunity to run in and capture the flag, winning them the game. By the time the kids congregated at the playground again, it was going on 2am. They were about to break it up when a squad car rolled in.

"Hey, what are you kids up to at this time?" The cop asked, getting out of the car. Most of the kids ran, but Kurt froze, and Finn wasn't about to go without him. He and Finn, along with 3 other kids including Brittany were caught by the officers. One of them took Kurt's elbow and began leading him to a picnic table, ordering him to sit. Kurt tried to avoid the panic attack, but he started hyperventilating. The cop didn't seem to notice.

"What were you kids doing out here at this hour?" he asked again.

By this time, Kurt was having trouble breathing. Finn tried to get to him, but the cop stopped him.

"Please, sir, my brother has panic attacks," he begged. The cop noticed Kurt's condition and let Finn go. Finn began trying to calm him down the way his parents did. Brittany and Kayla, meanwhile, were answering one cop's questions, while the other retrieved an unopened bottle of water for Kurt.

"You're his brother?" the cop asked. Finn nodded. "Alright, what's your phone number?"

Finn rambled off his number, and a sleepy Burt picked up on the 4th ring. He picked up on the fourth ring. 10 minutes later, Burt was at the park. He assisted Kurt in calming down, and then ordered the boys to the car while he talked to the officer.

The officer informed Burt that there would be no legal ramifications for the kids, as this was their first offense, but he encouraged Burt to make it clear to his children the dangers of this sort of stunt, as well as the illegality. Burt assured him that he would make it _very _clear. He got in the car, started it up, and began to back out, leaving the officers to drive Brittany and the other kids home.

"What about our bikes?" Finn asked.

"Are they locked?" Finn nodded. "We'll get them tomorrow." And they began the silent drive home.

As they arrived home, he opened the car door and told the boys to get out. He grabbed each boy by the arm and escorted them inside and to the table, where he ordered them to sit down. Carole had made a pot of tea while they were gone, and gave the boys disappointed looks when they came in. She made Burt leave the room for a few minutes to calm down, but she wasn't any less angry with the boys then he was. She took two cups of tea and joined Burt in the living room to talk.

Finn and Kurt, for their part, were terrified. Kurt pushed his panic away and concentrated on his breathing. He knew his parents wouldn't hurt him, but it was really hard to keep the panic at bay right now, especially because he was already exhausted from his previous one. Finally, Burt re-entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"What were you thinking?" he asked, deadly calm.

"It just…sounded fun," Finn answered.

"We were just playing a game," Kurt replied.

"It was no big deal. We were safe…we even wore helmets on our bikes," Finn stated.

"We didn't want to be left out—everybody was going!" Kurt put in.

"You rode across town on your bikes, by yourself at midnight, sneaking out of the house because you knew you weren't allowed out, and were picked up by cops, all for some stupid little game! What if you were hurt? You could have been kidnapped and we would have had no idea where you were! What if something had triggered Kurt and you weren't in a safe spot? Did you think _at all?_ Damn it boys!" Burt's voice continued to raise, and he was yelling by the time he was done with his rant, and his hand came down _hard_ on the table, with a loud CRASH.

And Kurt tipped over backward in his chair, and was scurrying to the corner of the kitchen before Burt had realized what was happening.

Kurt hadn't had a flashback in years. But Burt was angry. He'd never seen him like this. It was scary. It reminded him of Uncle Charles, though Kurt was only five at the time, he still had nightmares sometimes. And then his hand landed on the table, and Uncle Charles was coming at him with a belt, and Kurt was scurrying to get away. He kicked, punched, bit, whatever he could to stop Uncle Charles from touching him. Keep him away.

Burt immediately regretted not controlling his temper. He recognized the signs of the flashback too late, he hadn't been paying attention. He half thought they were gone, Kurt hadn't had one in years. He couldn't get near his son without being punched, bitten or kicked. Carole tried to step in, but Burt wouldn't let her. Kurt wouldn't know if he punched her in the stomach, and he didn't want to hurt the baby. Finally he was able to get behind Kurt and secure him in the restraining hold he hadn't used in so long. It took Kurt an hour and a half to wear himself out enough to sleep, and Burt carried him to his bed before going back to his own. He'd sent Finn to bed an hour ago. The boys slept until 10, while the parents were up at 8 discussing punishment, and regret. Finally Kurt made an appearance, followed by Finn. He tensed at the sight of Burt, and Burt looked at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. You guys scared me so much last night and I lost my temper. I shouldn't have. I was upset, but that's no excuse. I'm the adult and I should have had a hold of my emotions. I didn't mean to scare you, but I would never, ever lay a hand on you, no matter how angry I am. I promise," he told his son, sincerely. He truly was furious with himself for reacting in such a way. He should have sent the boys to bed to deal with this in the morning, he never should have tried to talk to them last night. It had only made things worse.

Kurt nodded, and went to his dad for a hug when he held his arms out. He knew his dad was sincere, and even in his anger would not hurt Kurt. He'd gone into a flashback yesterday, which he was upset about, but his defenses were down. He was exhausted from his previous panic attack and trying to keep another one at bay. He knew his dad would never hurt him.

"I didn't mean to scare you, but that doesn't excuse you're actions last night," he said, directing Kurt to the table, and motioning for Finn to join him. "I don't care what your reasoning is, there is no excuse for what you did. Anything could have happened, and I can't tell you how happy I am that those cops found you." Finn and Kurt stared at the table.

"You're both grounded for a month," Carole informed them. "And I mean serious grounding. No friends, phone or screen time. No going out unless it's with dad and I, and you'll be doing some serious chores. If there is _any_ trouble following your grounding, time will be added. And you'll both be on probation for the remainder of summer. Until we can trust you again, there will be restrictions. Got it?"

Kurt looked at his parents with wide eyes, Finn doing the same. His parents usually either grounded him _or_ took away his screen time. Never both! And for a whole month? But they were both too angry for him to argue, so he just nodded, tears leaking from his eyes. Carole placed a plate of pancakes in front of each of them, telling them to eat.

"And then you're going to spend the next hour sitting here, writing about why what you did was dangerous," Burt added.

Two weeks later was Kurt's 13th birthday. Burt and Carole informed him that the party wouldn't take place until the end of July, after his grounding. But they did take the boys out to eat that day, and celebrated his birthday amongst the four of them.

3 days were added to the grounding because of a fight that broke out a week before it was supposed to end, but other than that the boys did a good job of following it, and at the end of July they were free. Sort of. They still weren't allowed to go anywhere without Burt or Carole, but they were allowed to have friends over, play outside, and have their screen time back. Kurt was glad, it was the worst grounding of his life and he never wanted to experience it again! Though he and Finn _did_ get some quality brotherly bonding time, they also got on each other's nerves. A lot. Hence the fight that earned them an extra 3 days.

Carole was now 21 weeks pregnant, and her bump was getting more and more prominent. They decided they didn't want to know the gender, but the doctor said the baby was coming along perfectly.

As promised, Kurt had his birthday party 3 weeks after his actual birthday, but it was still fun. He had a bunch of friends over for a party, both from Bajar and his old public school friends. They had dancing contests, and taught Finn, Sam, Troy and Kyle some ballet steps. The boys were good sports about it, and Sam was actually pretty good. The boys then forced them into a game of soccer. Burt and Carole surprised him with a phone, and gave Finn one as well as a late birthday gift. They made the decision between the two birthdays that the boys were mature enough for a phone, but they wanted them to have them before Christmas.

The family took a trip to New York in August. The parents knew they wouldn't be taking major trips for at least 2 years with the baby coming, and they'd never taken Kurt on a real vacation. Kurt was in heaven. They saw Wicked on Broadway, had picnics in Central Park, spent time in Times Square, and had some quality family time. Finn enjoyed it every bit as much as Kurt. He had to admit, being on stage like that did sound like a lot of fun, and he really did enjoy watching it. Kurt laughed at Finn for hours, reenacting the mime that had chosen Finn to pick on. He followed Finn for several blocks in his invisible box. While Kurt was glad it wasn't him, he was sure it would have been a trigger and stayed on the other side of Burt, he did think it was hilarious. Finally Finn stopped and mimed back to the mime, which attracted a good amount of attention from the crowd. And gave Kurt a hilarious video to show all their friends back home. It was crowded, but Burt made sure to keep Kurt next to him the entire trip, and Kurt stayed panic-attack free. There was one incident with an angry man on the street, but the Hummels removed Kurt from the situation before he could be upset by it. It wasn't a trip they could have handled a few years ago, and Burt was concerned that Kurt would have backtracked after the flashback last month, but he didn't seem to.

They did have to drive to and from New York, because Dr. Wheeler didn't think it a good idea to try Kurt out on an airplane. Kurt was claustrophobic, and it would be an almost definite trigger with no way out. Driving was harder for Carole, as she was coming along in pregnancy, 23 weeks along now, but she was feeling well and made the trip without complaint.

They got back to Ohio with one week left before school started. It was a hubbub of activity getting the boys ready. Kurt's wardrobe trip alone took all day. He was happy to shop resale and enjoyed it quite a bit, but took hours picking things out. Carole had also promised Kurt he could be responsible for _helping_ decorate the baby's room. He was excited, but Carole had to veto the more extravagant ideas, which Kurt was less than happy about. But Carole did _not_ want giant dove statues. She insisted Kurt go _much_ simpler. And he had to keep it gender neutral. Kurt dragged her out to baby store after baby store until Carole put a halt to it. She was going to have a shower, and they didn't need to buy everything for the baby before school started. The room could come along in the next few months.

School started in September, and once again Kurt was happy about how the year looked. He didn't have to take violin this year, but his other classes remained the same. Except that he didn't get to see Brittany as much. She was now a freshman in high school, and most of his classes were with the 7th graders. Kurt and Derek started dating around the time of the first school dance, though his parents insisted he was still too young to really _date,_ he was still "going steady."

It didn't last long. Kurt had a flashback the first time Derek tried to kiss him. He hadn't wanted to kiss Derek. Truth be told, he was afraid something like this might happen if he did, though he convinced himself that he had a good hold on his flashbacks now. He may have had one with his dad a few months ago, but he was exhausted and let his guard down. He thought that, as his boyfriend, he had to get over the kissing thing, and so he didn't pull away or say no when Derek leaned in for it. As soon as he felt Derek's lips on his he was back in the Douser home with Mr. Douser, but it was different. He knew it wasn't really Mr. Douser, but he also knew he had to get out of there, quickly. He pushed Derek away, hard, and ran. It had been in the auditorium at school, so he quickly made his way to the hallway, and the flashback ended as quickly as it started. Kurt had a panic attack though, and Carole had been called to take him home.

Kurt spent the night crying into his mother's shoulder, wondering why the flashbacks had returned. He thought he'd gotten better, but this was two in the last few months alone! Carole gently told him that Dr. Wheeler had said it was a cycle. Sometimes would be worse, sometimes would be better, and Kurt hadn't had anything trigger a flashback in a long time, but that didn't mean they were gone. She also praised Kurt for how well he fought the panic attack. He'd never been able to control himself during one, and he'd never gotten himself out of it so quickly. That, she pointed out, was enormous progress.

Kurt expected all weekend to get a call saying he wasn't welcome back at school, though this flashback, nothing bad happened. Kurt had been through this all before, though admittedly had been lucky in terms of consequences for his actions.

But the call never came. Kurt went back to school on Monday, and everyone treated him the same. He sat waiting for the other shoe to drop until math, when he was finally called into the principle's office. The guidance counselor, nurse and his mother were also there. They informed him that they knew what happened, but Kurt wasn't in any trouble. They wanted to see if he was hurt, and asked him to avoid being alone with another student and put himself in a situation like that again.

Derek didn't really want anything to do with Kurt after that. While Kurt was upset, he couldn't really blame Derek. He was glad at this point that Derek was in high school now, he didn't see him as much.

October arrived. Carole had a baby shower early in the month, and received a lot of stuff. Mostly in green and yellow. Kurt wasn't a big fan of soft green and soft yellow for gender neutral. Luckily it was the clothing, the furniture was all white, which he could work with. And the crib bedding and changing table cover they'd received from Grandma Lorrie was the red Kurt picked out for the registry. Kurt would have to convince his mom to do something about the repetitive soft colors of clothing, he couldn't have his brother or sister stuck wearing _that_ stuff all the time. While he was hesitant at first, Kurt had reached a point now where he was getting to be excited about the impending birth of his brother or sister. His mom was getting quite large now, at 30 weeks along, and was getting tired faster. Finn and Kurt were OK about helping her, though the slacked off pretty often.

The boys had plenty of suggestions for baby names, from "Sizzle" to "Amadeus." Burt and Carole let them list their names, but most of them were vetoed immediately. There were actually some suggestions they really liked. Finn wanted to name his brother "Malachi," and Kurt came up with "Genevieve" for a sister, but they were still trying to settle on the perfect one.

October brought some very unwelcome news, as well. Bajar lost its funding. As most of the school came in on scholarships, they depended on funding. Some of the higher-end arts schools had wealthy investors, but Bajar wasn't a higher end school, it was meant for kids from middle class families to be able to go to a good arts school. At this point, the school wasn't sure if they could keep it open next year, but the one certainty was that after this year, they would no longer be able to offer scholarships. Which meant that almost ¾ of the school wouldn't be able to afford to attend. Kurt was among them. There was no way Burt and Carole had the kind of money to send Kurt to a school like that without a scholarship! Kurt was extremely upset, and took it out on pretty much everybody. While they understood (Kurt's parents were pretty upset about this, themselves) Kurt was making everybody miserable. Burt tried to talk him down, but all it did was cause Kurt to lash out even more. Burt had no choice but to punish him, which he hated to do because he was just as upset about the Bajar thing as Kurt was, but he had _broken _their dining room window by sending a chair backwards through it. Burt knew he didn't do it on purpose, but his temper had gotten the better of him and he sent it backwards a little too hard when he stood up in a tantrum. Kurt _had_ to learn to control his temper. He didn't get this upset that often, but when he did a lot of things tended to get broken. Dr. Wheeler said that this, too, was often presented in PTSD patients. Unlike flashbacks and panic attacks, however, Burt knew this was something Kurt _could_ have control over. He told him so himself, and Burt had seen Kurt in action before. These weren't panic attacks, they were temper tantrums. And after he lost all access to any kind of electronic or screen for two weeks, Kurt _did_ start practicing his relaxation techniques again. And he realized what his father had told him…they really didn't have any control over this, they were always on his side, and they would try to find the absolute best situation they could for him.

So he and Carole were back to the drawing board in terms of finding Kurt a school. They couldn't afford private school, and most of the scholarships Kurt didn't qualify for. They considered homeschooling again, but they really didn't like the idea of homeschooling him all through high school. And public school just scared them.

XXXXX

But figuring out what to do about Kurt's schooling situation was put on hold in mid October. Carole was 32 weeks when she went into premature labor at work. Luckily, she worked at a hospital and was immediately brought to the maternity ward. Burt was called; he called Grandma Lorrie to pick up the boys, and met his wife at the hospital. She was hooked up to machines monitoring the baby's heart beat when he arrived.

"Burt, I'm so scared," she said, the fear evident in her face.

"I know, baby, I know. But our baby will be fine. We've made it far enough that our baby will be fine!" Burt tried to reassure her. But he was just as scared as his wife.

_Please please, review! I may be a review whore, but I really want to know what people think. _


	11. Chapter 11

Lorrie had picked her grandsons up from school, and the three of them were in the hospital waiting room, awaiting news on Carole and the baby. Burt came out an hour later, telling them that the doctors had given mom medicine to stop the labor. She had to stay in the hospital for a day or two to monitor things, but she would be allowed home after that on strict bed rest. Burt told his boys he expected them to be on their best behavior around their mother until the baby came. Stress could push her into labor; they may not be able to stop it a second time and it was still way too early for the baby to be born. Kurt and Finn agreed, and Burt took them home leaving Carole's mother to keep her company. He knew his wife was fine now, and his boys were probably frightened and needed him more than she did right now.

The three spent the evening preparing Carole's bedroom for optimum bed rest. They moved the guest room TV (the one the boys used primarily for video games in the room that would become the baby's ) into the master bedroom. Burt brought up a high table and placed it next to the bed, where she could have things she needed in arms reach. Grandma Lorrie would be spending the days taking care of her daughter for the next few months, and they wanted to make things as easy as possible. Carole came home the next evening in good spirits.

Her boys took good care of her over the next few weeks. The three of them also painted the nursery, black and white walls, with red accents in the decorating. Burt had to admit, it looked _really_ good. He had been unsure of Kurt's preferences, but he did a good job. And the room could suitably house a boy or a girl. Burt enjoyed the time he got to spend with his two kids, preparing for his third. He knew it would be harder to find once the baby came, so he was happy to get the time he could now.

Kurt missed the Christmas showcase he'd normally be preparing for right now, and had no Christmas program to make up for it. He wasn't a high schooler, and most of the middle school kids didn't get a part in the program. Now, it looked like he never would. He did have his choir concert coming up, but he had no Christmas performances besides. While he missed it, with his mother being bedridden and the baby coming, he was kind of glad he didn't have that obligation. He could help prepare for the baby more now, and he got to spend a lot more time with friends, too. He was realizing what he missed by being so busy!

He had been spending a lot more time with Blaine, Sophia and Katie. He had neglected them lately, but he missed them and knew now that he may be back at school with them next year. He found that Blaine had grown up a lot, and was now quite attractive. Still, after what happened with Derek, Kurt wasn't interested in anybody right now. But he did enjoy the time he got to spend with Blaine and the girls. The girls were still doing the showcase, but Blaine had been coming over to Kurt's house almost every afternoon. The two would work on their homework, and then Kurt would teach Blaine some ballet steps as his ½ hour of practice/night homework.

Kurt also spent a lot of his free time watching musicals snuggled with his mom in her bed. He was excited to meet his baby brother or sister, but the lingering fear that she would love her biological children more than him was still there. Carole knew it, Kurt admitted to it, but she knew that she couldn't prove otherwise to Kurt until after the baby was born. So in the meantime, she was happy to have him spend time with her. One day Kurt dumped a bunch of fabric on her bed and asked to use her sewing machine.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he started cutting up squares of fabric.

"Dad took me to the fabric store and gave me $20. I want to make something for the baby," he explained to his mom.

Carole smiled. Her son really was extremely sweet. "Can I help?" she asked.

"I'm making 10X10 inch squares. You can help cut," he told her handing her the other scissors. The blanket was finished three days later, and it turned out adorable.

Carole made her way downstairs for Thanksgiving, which was at their house this year to make things easier for Carole. The guys had to cook, but Kurt was good and Grandma Lorrie helped. It was a nice affair, with Grandma Lorrie, his aunt and uncle, and two cousins.

Carole abided by her bed rest, the boys made sure of it, and the baby stayed snug inside her until December 8, only two weeks before her due date. Burt woke the boys up in the middle of the night, telling them that Grandma Lorrie was coming to stay with them. They could stay home from school tomorrow, and Grandma would bring them to the hospital in the morning to await the baby. Kurt didn't sleep the rest of the night, too excited. He checked and double checked that everything was perfect in the baby room. He straightened the crib, re-organized the clothing drawer and the closet, and made sure enough diapers were stocked for immediate use. He made sure the downstairs was clean and there was nothing laying about that the baby would put in its mouth and choke on (though he knew the baby wouldn't be able to do that for some time). Then, he made breakfast for Grandma and Finn.

The three arrived at the hospital at 9:00. Carole was still in labor, but she was close. They got to see her briefly before being ordered back to the waiting area. Two hours later, Burt came down.

"Mom's doing well," he told them, "and so is your little sister."

They got to go to Mom's room and meet little Emily Lorraine Hummel. Kurt got to hold her for a few minutes…she was so teeny tiny, it was hard to imagine a human being that small. Kurt passed her to Finn, who looked terrified he would drop her and immediately passed her to his grandma. They stayed for an hour, each taking turns holding Emily and taking pictures, examining her tiny fingers and toes, before Grandma and the boys left. They stopped for lunch, where Finn proudly exclaimed to the waitress that they'd just been to visit his new baby sister in the hospital. The waitress gave them free congratulatory cake.

Mom and Emily came home from the hospital the next morning. Kurt and Finn were forced to go to school, everybody seemed to think it best that mom relaxed for a few hours when she got home.

"Kurtie! Where were you yesterday?" Brittany asked as he met her by the entrance.

"My mom had the baby, we were at the hospital."

"Ooh! Baby! Boy or girl?"

"It's a girl, her name is Emily," Kurt explained.

"Can I come meet her after school?"

"I don't know…maybe another day. I don't think dad's going to want company right away," Kurt replied.

"What are you doing next year, Kurt?" Brittany asked.

"I don't know…my parents haven't decided yet," Kurt told her. "Do you know?"

"Yes, my parents told me last night we're moving. I'm not sure where, but they said Daddy's gotten a new job and the school has a really good cheerleading team, they think it would be good for me. The only problem is that Daddy's job starts in January, so we're moving after Christmas," Brittany told him, sadly.

"What?" Kurt asked, forgetting everything else for a moment. "You're leaving? How far away?" How could his best friend be moving? He didn't know what he would do without her, especially if he had to go to public school next year! He figured at least maybe they could still be together.

"I don't know. A few hours. But Kurt, we'll still be friends. We'll still talk all the time, on the phone…right?"

"Of course Brit," he replied, pulling her into a hug.

"And I want to meet your sister before I go," she told him.

"I'll make sure you do," he promised.

That day after school, Kurt raced to Brittany's car. Upon dropping him off at home, Mrs. Pierce handed him a big casserole dish. "Your parents probably don't feel much like cooking," she told him. "That's for dinner."

"Thanks, Mrs. Pierce!"

His mom was nursing the baby on the sofa, but she was just about done. Kurt averted his eyes, he knew his mom would be doing that, they'd explained it to him, but he didn't want to see his mom's boob.

"It's OK, Kurt nothing's showing," Carole assured him with a smile. Kurt peeked, and his mom was right…he couldn't see any skin at all, just his sister's bald little head.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Perfect. She's a champion eater," his mother replied. "Do you want to burp her?"

Kurt nodded, hesitantly. His mother handed him a throw blanket. "Cover your shoulder with this," she explained. Kurt did so, making sure the top part of his back was covered, and sat down on the couch next to his mom. She carefully handed him his sister, quickly covering herself up, and directed him how to hold her so her head was on his shoulder.

"Now gently pat her back," she told her son. Kurt did so, but Carole instructed him to do it a little harder. Emily was just so _tiny,_ he didn't want to hurt her. But he gave her slightly firmer pats, and a few seconds later Emily let out a loud belch.

"That was from her?" he asked, astonished that a tiny baby could have that loud of a belch. Carole simply laughed. Kurt asked if she wanted the baby back, but Carole told him he could hold her if he wanted. So Kurt situated himself so he was leaning against his mom, the baby cuddled to his chest. Carole shifted to a more comfortable position, and welcomed the snuggles from her two babies. That was how Burt found them a minute later when he walked in with Finn. He took a picture, and said he would find something for supper.

"Mrs. Pierce made us a casserole, dad, I put it in the fridge," Kurt told his father. Finn went up to his room to change.

"How was school?" Carole asked.

"Brittany's moving. When they found out she couldn't go to Bajar next year, her dad accepted another job, in a school district with a good cheerleading team for Brit," Kurt said, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. "They're moving in a few weeks, right after Christmas."

Carole felt bad for her son; Brittany was his best friend and having to say goodbye like that…really sucked. But she couldn't blame the Pierces at all.

"Brit wants to meet Emily, though. Can she come over?"

"Of course, sweetie. Just Brittany, I don't want a ton of people around Emily yet, but she can come over tomorrow if you like," Carole told him.

Finn rejoined them then, and Kurt asked if he wanted to hold the baby. Finn nodded, so Kurt handed his sister back to his mother and got up. Finn took his place, and Carole carefully placed Emily in his arms.

The next day, Brittany fawned over Emily. She thought she looked just like a baby doll. She was very gentle, and good at holding the Emily. She decided she'd have to convince her parents to have another baby, so she could have one too.

XXXXX

The next few days passed quickly. Kurt loved having Emily around, and he didn't feel like his parents cared about him any less than their biological children. Finn on the other hand, spent as little time as possible at home. He went to a friend's house almost every day, and never seemed to want to hold Emily or have anything to do with her. He got pretty angry when Burt insisted he spend an evening at home for family time. He swore at everyone, and refused to say a pleasant word until Burt told him he would no longer be allowed to go to friends' houses if he behaved this way at home. Then Finn decided he would spend the evening in his room.

The next morning, Burt reminded Finn that he was to come directly home that evening, as he was grounded for his behavior last night. Finn got angry and stormed off to school, but did come home directly after. Burt and Carole asked Kurt to watch Emily for a few minutes, and went to talk to Finn in his room.

Finn was pissed. He had been avoiding being at home because everything was about the baby right now. He had been excited about the baby, too. But now he felt like the world centered around her. Her and Kurt…because his parents seemed so determined to prove to him that he wouldn't be left out, that they included him in everything and left Finn out. And then he got grounded just because he didn't want to come home and they made him? What was that? Finn threw a baseball at the door just as Burt opened it. He sidestepped the ball, avoiding being hit. \

"Sit down, Finn," he ordered. And now they didn't even knock. Finn sighed, but sat down. "Why don't you knock?" he spat out.

"We did. You were in the middle of a tantrum and didn't hear," Burt informed him. Oh. Yeah, Finn supposed that may be true.

"What's going on with you, Finn?" his dad asked, taking a seat on Finn's desk chair. His mom sat with him on the bed. Finn just shrugged.

"Come on, buddy, what's wrong?" Carole asked, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close. Finn obliged, curling up to his mom. He didn't think he'd ever truly be too big for mom cuddles…as long as nobody at school knew.

"Everything's just all about the stupid baby now. And Kurt. You forgot about me," Finn accused.

"What?" Burt asked, taking Finn's chin and turning his head to look at him. "Finn…we haven't seen you in the past 2 weeks. You've been at a friend's house every single night and had a sleepover last weekend. How can you accuse us of not paying attention to you when you refuse to come home? I was at your game last week, and you barely acknowledged me," Burt told him.

Finn supposed that was true.

"Finn, I know things are kind of focused on the baby right now, but she's so new and we're still trying to get used to things. She keeps us up all night, and we're just doing the best we can right now. In a few months when she's sleeping through the night, things will get easier, I promise. And if you start coming home again, we'll make sure you don't feel abandoned again. I'm sorry we made you feel that way," Carole promised him. Finn nodded.

"How about we both make some promises," Burt suggested. "We'll make sure to spend more time with you, I'm sorry we've neglected to do that, I really am. And you come home at night and let us do that, alright?"

Finn nodded in agreement. That sounded fair.

Brittany's going away party was two days before Christmas. They had all their friends there, both from public school and Bajar. There were many tears, a few final dance-offs, and one last musical they could sing along to. They ordered pizza, Brittany asked Kurt to give her one last manicure, and they had an awesome sleep over at Brittany's house. It was the first time Kurt had successfully slept over anywhere, and only the second time he tried. But it was Brittany, and his friends, and he felt completely safe. And three days later, Brittany was off to another city…Lima, Mr. Pierce had stated. It was only an hour and a half away, and the Pierce's assured Kurt he could visit any time, and they'd bring Brittany back for sleepovers as well.

Christmas was a bust that year. Kurt and Finn both came down with the stomach flu. Between caring for them, and trying to keep Emily away from it, the holiday just passed them right up. They celebrated several days later, when the boys were feeling better.

XXXXX

In January, the school informed the families that it would indeed be closed at the end of the year. There was still to be a musical, and it would incorporate all students involved in theater. They decided on Mary Poppins, as the cast size was large enough. Kurt got to share the role of Michael Banks with another boy; he would be performing every other show. His parents decided it was time to talk to Kurt about where he would be going next year. They really needed to start getting those plans laid out.

"I was thinking," Kurt told them, "Maybe I could go back to school with Finn. It's been so long since I had that outburst and I'm so much better at controlling myself now. Plus, Finn said the guys that actually stuffed me in the locker were expelled. If I go there, I could be with Finn, and I have a lot of other friends there too," Kurt suggested.

"No Kurt. You've seen what Blaine goes through at that school—"

"That was middle school, dad. This will be high school now!" Kurt protested.

"It doesn't matter, it'll be the same kids."

"But he said it's much better now. I really just don't want to go to another brand new school and have to meet all new friends. I want to be back with Blaine, Katie and Sophia. And besides, it's cheaper," he pointed out.

"You're worth whatever the price is to keep you safe, Kurt," Burt insisted, but Kurt cut him off.

"Please dad? This is important to me. I promise, I can do it!" Kurt pleaded.

"We'll think about it, and we'll talk it over with Dr. Wheeler. That's the best I can promise you for now, Kurt," Burt stated with finality. Kurt knew that was the best he was going to get, so he let it go, choosing instead to go make funny faces at one month old Emily, who was swinging in her swing. She did nothing but stare at him and make grunty noises, but Kurt enjoyed watching her.

The next day, Saturday, Kurt begged to go shopping with Blaine and Sophia. Kurt had never been on a shopping trip without an adult, but he _was _13 now, and his parents knew they would have to allow it at some point. They agreed, as long as Kurt kept his fully charged phone on him so he could be reachable. Adam Seewald, Sophia's dad, was to drop them off at 11, and Carole agreed to pick them up at 2. Kurt was given $30 when Mr. Seewald came to pick him up.

They had a good time. Kurt helped Sophia and Blaine pick out a few new outfits, and got something for himself. He couldn't believe what an atrocious sense of fashion Blaine had, but he was a cute guy and fun to find clothes for, so Kurt didn't mind. During a late lunch, Kurt brought up the thing he'd been hesitating to tell his friends since he found out.

"Bajar's closing," he said.

"Whoa, what?" Sophia asked. "How long have you known?"

"We've known they were losing their funding and I wouldn't be able to continue there since October. That's why Brittney's dad accepted a new job," Kurt explained.

"So that's it…I was wondering why they were pulling her out of that school…she loved it so much," replied Blaine.

"So where are you going next year?" Sophia asked.

"I'm trying to get my parents to send me back to school with you guys.""

"What? That'd be awesome!" Blaine exclaimed.

"But they are pretty against it. They said they'd think about it, but my dad knows all the trouble you had last year and he doesn't want that to happen to me," Kurt replied. "Bajar's been a safe place to be out. Public school, not so much."

"But it hasn't been that bad this year," Blaine pointed out. "Sure they call me names, but they haven't done anything physical at all."

"But you weren't the one that had a meltdown in the middle of gym and attacked a student and a teacher," Kurt pointed out. "Or shoved in a locker for 4 hours."

"Well yeah…but those guys are gone now. They were the worst of the bunch."

"Yeah, I know, those are all my arguments. But my parents know I don't exactly have a clean history of public school performance," Kurt replied.

"Well, I hope you can Kurt, it would be amazing to have you back at school!" Sophia exclaimed.

It was 1:30, so Kurt called his mom to see if they could stay until 4 or so and go to the movie theater in the mall. Carole agreed, as did Sophia and Blaine's parents. Carole and Emily picked them up at 4, and took them all out for dinner with permission from the other parents. Sophia fawned over the new baby, and Kurt and Blaine whispered secrets to each other on their side of the booth.

XXXXX

Over the next few months, Kurt cherished every moment he spent at Bajar, knowing they would soon be over. He talked to his friends about where they would go. Some would be going to public school. Natalie, he found out, would be enrolled in the school he'd be going to if his parents decided to send him to public school. Natalie was excited about this, because she'd already met Katie, Sophia and Blaine and got along well with them. Max would be set to the Dayton school of the arts; it was a ways away, but his parents were willing to make the move for him to attend a good arts school. Derek was being enrolled in Dalton Academy for Boys, a private school in Westerville. It didn't have a good arts program, but his parents could afford to enroll him in a private program.

The Mary Poppins production was coming along quite well. Though he had to share the roll so more kids could participate, Kurt enjoyed playing Michael very much. He missed Brittany a lot; he thought she would have made the perfect Jane—and she probably would have, had she not left. Natalie got to play Jane opposite his Michael, and she was very good; Kurt enjoyed working with her very much. She was a good friend of his, and he knew that no matter where each of them went, they would continue to be friends. Still, he missed Brittany.

Kurt and Finn found they really enjoyed having Emily around. She was growing every day and in April, at 4 months old, started rolling over. She was laughing quite a bit, and loved it when her brothers tried to make her laugh. She held her head up more now, and was more fun to play with now that she wasn't quite so tiny and fragile. She had her daddy wrapped around her little finger. Between the three of them, she was destined to be one spoiled little girl.

June came along, and Kurt's family was delighted to watch him perform Michael in the production of Mary Poppins. After their final production, all the kids, both the actors and the Orchestra pit musicians, went to an after party in the school auditorium supervised by the staff. Derek and Kurt made up that day, though they agreed that they were better friends then boyfriends. There was plenty of singing, dancing, and tears. The last few days of school was the same. Teachers had given up on trying to teach, and just let the kids hang out. They still had exams for their academic classes, but they had the afternoons to just be together. For many kids, Kurt included, the school was their safe haven; they were unsafe at public schools for different reasons. For others, it was simply their livelihood. Kurt was very sad to see it go.

There had been much discussion between Kurt's parents, between the three of them, and with Dr. Wheeler, and it was decided that Kurt would be returning to public school. They talked to the high school and Kurt got a note from his psychiatrist that he was to be excused from gym. Kurt's friends and Finn were excited about this development. Kurt was excited as well, but he was extremely nervous. He thought he had a good hold on his panic attacks. His doctor prescribed him anxiety pills that he was to keep with him and take as needed. Kurt was thankful that Blaine and Sophia were in advanced classes, he should have somebody in most of his classes, and Natalie would be there as well. She had become a very close friend of his. His parents had also consented to allow him to do the showcase again this year, as he no longer had Bajar. Natalie had convinced her parents to let her join, as well.

Kurt turned 14 that summer. He wanted a party at the bowling alley, so his parents left Emily with Grandma Lorrie and took the 9 kids bowling. Kurt got some cool gifts, including the latest Katy Perry CD and a scrapbooking kit from Blaine, a _Golden Girls _boxed DVD set (thanks Katie and Sophia!), a Bajar scrapbook and CD from Natalie, a soda making kit from Finn and the boys, and a laptop from his parents. Kurt had been extremely jealous of Finn when he got his 3 months ago on his 14th birthday, but had to admit he'd been expecting the same. His parents were allowed to check his history at any time, and had a bunch of parental controls on it, but it was his!

Blaine started coming over to the Hummels more and more. Kurt enjoyed his time with Blaine…he felt like he could relate to him on a level he couldn't with the girls. The boys enjoyed just hanging out in Kurt's room and listening to Katy Perry, Broadway songs, or showtunes. One such day, Kurt decided Blaine was quickly becoming his best friend, and he deserved to know things about Kurt that he normally didn't share.

"Did you know I was adopted?" he asked, abruptly. He couldn't really think of a subtle way to bring it up.

Blaine looked up, surprised. "I figured one of you might be, or be step brothers," Blaine responded, "you and Finn are like, 2 months apart."

Kurt cracked a smile, yes, it was pretty obvious.

"Yeah, well I've lived with them since right before I turned 9. They adopted me when I was 10," Kurt confirmed.

"Oh…" Blaine responded, zoning out in thought for a minute, before sitting up to give Kurt his attention.

"Why are you telling me?" he asked.

Kurt was taken aback, he was expecting questions about his past, but not this question.

"I just thought...you're like, one of my best friends. I thought you deserved to know. I know you've noticed weird things about me…why Finn is overprotective…why my parents are so strict, and why I have panic attacks and flashbacks sometimes." Kurt replied. "If you don't want to…I mean, that's fine. You can just forget or whatever."

"No! I do, I want to know whatever you want to tell me, I just…don't feel like you have to, you know? I'm glad you want to. I'd like to know," Blaine answered. "How did you meet them?"

"They were my foster parents," Kurt answered. "My parents died when I was 4. I had some not-so-good families after that, and sometimes things trigger me to think back to that. I can't tell you what."

"Wow…" Blaine replied, he didn't really know what to say. "I'm sorry, Kurt…that sounds really hard."

"Don't be sorry, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, which is why this is something I never talk about. I don't want you to tell anyone, I just thought you should know," Kurt told him.

"I would never tell anyone, I promise Kurt," Blaine assured him. "You didn't have to tell me, but I'm glad you did. Thank you for trusting me.

They talked about it for a little longer, but Kurt didn't give any specifics, and Blaine didn't push for them. He didn't even tell him about Lucy…that particular memory was too painful. Kurt no longer expected to ever see her again, and wasn't sure she even remembered him. She was what kept him going for 4 years after they were separated, but Lucy had a good family from a young age…why would she need to remember him. Kurt still watched random blond girls on the street, imagining that they might be her. But he had no idea what she looked like anymore.

July turned into August. Brittany came down the first week of August to spend time with him. They squeeled excitedly and hugged for 10 minutes. Brittany was over the moon when she saw Emily.

"Oh my God Kurtie, she's so big!" Brittany exclaimed, lifting the baby, who immediately whimpered and held her chubby hands out for Kurt. Emily was 8 months old now, and beginning to army-crawl and roll to get around. She was pretty fast at it, too. Just the other day they lost her, though dad's back had only been turned for a moment, she rolled right under the sofa. The found her quickly, and dad decided to line the bottom of the sofa with pillows. They also had to be extra careful not to leave anything laying around that Emily shouldn't put in her mouth.

Kurt and Brittany spent hours in Kurt's room, gossiping about every little thing. Kurt asked how McKinley high was.

"I love it, Kurt! The cheerleading team is amazing! Coach is super strict and pretty mean sometimes but I guess that's what makes it a good team," she told him.

"Do you have a lot of friends?" he asked.

"Yes, a few. Mostly on the cheerleading team. There are some freshmen coming in that I met at cheerleading camp, though. Quinn and Santana. Here," she handed him her phone. On it was a picture of her with a blond girl and a Latina girl, both very pretty.

"You look happy," Kurt replied.

"Yes, but I miss you, Kurt. Out of all my friends here, you were the best. It's just not the same without you. Where are you going to school?

"Back to public school, with Finn."

"Oh Kurt, be careful please? Don't get hurt."

"I'll try, Brit, I promise. So what else is going on with you?"

"I asked mom for a baby. She said no, but I got a cat instead. His name is Lord Tubbington, see?" She handed him her phone again, where she had a picture of a fat cat. Kurt smiled.

"Nice, Brit, I love him!" Kurt exclaimed.

Kurt's time with Brittany was fun. They hung out with the others a bit, but wanted a lot of quality time with just the two of them. Two days later, Brittany's dad came to pick her up.

The last week of summer came quickly. School would be starting soon, and Kurt found himself having to take his anxiety medication once in a while. It seemed to help better than most of his PTSD meds did…they were fast-acting and helped him relax, but they also made his brain cloudy. His parents had a conference with the principle, who assured them that they would do what they could to ensure Kurt's safety, he would be allowed to carry his pills with him, and would not be required to take gym. Kurt was thankful for this; he didn't think he could handle gym. Kurt was determined to keep his promise to Brittany.

_So it's been a bit of a wait, but I got the next three chapters completed...twice. I didn't like where it took me the first time, so I started over. Which is why it's taken awhile. But they are done, so the more reviews I get...the faster they get posted! The couple of chapters after this will take us to the part I've been waiting for, so I'm excited about that. Stay warm! And please, review!_


	12. Chapter 12

_This chapter contains violence in the form of a hate crime. It is marked as such, so please, if this is a trigger for you skip through that part! This chapter, along with many to follow, also contain homophobic language. _

Kurt's first day at Briggs High School was…scary, to say the least. He was lucky enough to have most of his classes with at least one of his friends, except French. Kurt's first day at school passed without incident. He went to all his classes, had lunch with his group, and signed up for _Throat Explosion_, the glee club at Briggs. He figured at least he'd get some performing in at school, and he'd heard Throat Explosion was pretty good. Katie, Sophia, Natalie and Blaine joined as well.

The rest of the first week of school went just as well. Kurt pretty much stayed under the radar. Wednesday was the first practice for Throat Explosion, and Kurt thought the group seemed nice enough. There were 12 of them rejoining from last year, and Kurt's little group of five were the only incoming freshmen. They had to audition, but the older kids were all very excited by their voices, particularly Blaine's, Kurt's, and Sophia's. They showed them one of their old routines, which was amazing. Kurt couldn't wait to get to try something like that! Kurt felt like he could find a home in this group, and with a group of friends like this he could survive in this big school.

Burt and Carole were both very pleased that Kurt seemed to be doing well his first week of school. He assured them that there were no problem, and Burt and Carole saw no signs of untruth. Finn also assured them that he saw nothing, and they knew Finn would alert them of any problems. They were excited that Kurt found the glee club, it sounded like it would be good for him. Finn made it on the freshman football team as quarterback, but they put him on as backup on the Varsity team. Finn had a good arm, and he hoped that he could be the quarterback the next year! His parents were ecstatic for him, and looked forward to his first game the following Friday!

On Monday at lunch, Kurt and Blaine had just gotten their lunch and were about to join their group at the table, when Doug Riser, a jock on the football team with Finn, stepped in front of him with two of his friends. He had been one of Blaine's top tormentors in middle school, though Kurt had never had any experience with him, having left so early in his sixth grade year.

"Look, its little fairy boy!" he said, dumping Blaine's tray to the ground. "Is this your boyfriend, fairy?" He asked, getting in Kurt's face. Before Kurt could think of how to respond, Finn was in front of him.

"Leave him alone, Doug," he ordered.

"Oh what, Hummel, you want in on the action? You a fairy boy too?" Doug asked, giving Finn a shove. Sam, Troy and Kyle had now joined the group.

"He's my brother, and he's my friend, and if you want either of them, you'll have to go through me. Today and always," Finn stated.

"And us," added Sam, crossing his arms.

Doug looked like he was about to back off, then turned around and slugged Finn. And Finn was on top of him in a second, getting him on the ground and laying into him.

"Finn!" Kurt tried to intervene, but Finn was slugging Doug over and over again.

And then the teachers were there, pulling the boys apart. Finn and Doug were brought to the office, while Kurt, shaken but physically unharmed, went to their table for lunch. He shared half of his with Blaine, whose lunch was all over the floorm. Kurt spent the rest of his day worried about Finn, especially when Finn didn't show up for Study Hall. He wondered where he was, if he'd gotten in trouble. Kurt hoped not, but supposed he wouldn't find out until he got home.

XX

Finn, for his part, saw red when Riser advanced on Kurt. Riser was a jerk on the football team. He had wanted to be Quarterback but Finn beat him in tryouts, so he didn't care for Finn. He respected him, and was probably a little intimidated by him—he was quite a bit smaller than Finn—so he never gave him a hard time, but Finn didn't care for him. Finn had made the promise that nobody would harm Kurt if he could do anything to stop it, and he intended to stand by that promise. He was out of his seat and flying at Riser before he knew what he was doing. Unknowingly, he was followed by his friends.

"Leave him alone, Doug," he ordered.

"Oh what, Hummel, you want in on the action? You a fairy boy too?" Doug asked, giving Finn a shove.

"He's my brother, and he's my friend, and if you want either of them, you'll have to go through me. Today and always," Finn stated. He should have stood up for Blaine more last year; he wouldn't be making that mistake again.

"And us," added Sam, crossing his arms. Finn hadn't noticed his friends' presence, but he was grateful for it.

Riser backed up, and Finn thought maybe he'd won. But then Riser's fist connected with the side of Finn's face, and Finn was on top of him before he realized what he was doing. When he did, he didn't care. He wanted Riser to hurt, he intended this to be a lesson to stay away from his brother. The teacher was pulling Finn off of Riser, and they were both led to the office. Finn and Riser were each handed an ice pack, and the nurse was cleaning a cut on Riser's cheek. Finn's dad showed up 20 minute later, looking less than pleased.

"What happened?" he asked, sitting next to his son.

Finn shrugged. He didn't really want to throw Kurt under the bus. His parents may pull Kurt out of school if they thought he was having a hard time, and Kurt seemed to like it here for the most part. This was only the first incident, and he actually enjoyed glee club and had friends here. He wasn't sure Kurt would want his parents to know.

"You don't know?" Burt asked, sternly. "How don't you know?"

"I just don't. He said something to Kurt, and I just punched him," Finn explained. He wouldn't go into detail about who this guy was or what had been said, but he couldn't just not have a reason, his dad wouldn't accept that.

"What did he say to Kurt?" Burt asked.

"I don't know, I wasn't there. We didn't get that far."

"So you just saw him talking to Kurt, and decided to come over and punch him? Was he being physical with him?" Burt asked, trying to understand.

"I don't know, dad, pretty much! He didn't touch Kurt from what I saw but he's not a very nice guy. I just told him to leave Kurt alone, and we got into it," Finn explained. His dad wasn't letting this go very easily.

"Mr. Hummel," the principle called, opening the door to his office. Burt left his son waiting and followed the principle and Doug Riser's mom into the office. 10 minutes later, he emerged.

"You're suspended for 3 days. Come on, let's go get your stuff," Burt said, waving his son ahead of him.

Burt stopped by his mother in law's on the way home to pick up Emily; no use leaving her there when he was home, and then the three of them went home. Emily had already eaten at Grandma's and was just about ready for a nap, so Burt told Finn to sit down and wait for him while he brought the baby upstairs and rocked her for a few minutes before placing her in her crib. Then he called his wife, explaining what happened and that he'd already gotten Emily, so she need not pick her up. Then he went downstairs to try to get more information out of Finn.

But Finn was stubbornly quiet.

"Come on, Finn, I hate to ground you if you were just trying to protect your brother, but from what you're telling me it doesn't sound like he was in any danger. I don't feel like you're telling me the whole truth. Please talk to me," Burt pleaded.

"I told you everything, dad," Finn repeated, stubbornly.

"Fine. You're going to Grandma's with Emily for the next 3 days, then. Next time…try not to let it get physical, OK?" Dad asked.

"Yes sir," Kurt said, waiting for the rest of his punishment to be handed down. He wasn't excited about going to Grandma's like some little kid who needed a babysitter, he was 14 and perfectly capable of staying home alone, but he wasn't going to argue.

"Alright then, let's get some lunch. Grilled cheese?" Burt asked.

"Wait…" Finn started, confused. "Am I grounded?"

"No, Finn. I mean, I expect you to do some chores for your grandma over the next few days. Help her out, and get all of your homework done, but I know you, and I know that you would never just punch someone for no reason. I'm trusting that you had a reason, and for whatever reason don't want me to know. I wish you'd trust me, but I'm not about to punish you for protecting your brother, or dissuading you from doing so again. Just, in the future be mindful of the way you help him, OK? Punching should be a last resort, not a first one," Burt told his son.

Of course, Finn hadn't landed the first punch, but he chose not to divulge this information. He'd have to call Sam, Troy and Kyle tonight and make sure they keep an extra close eye on Kurt over his suspension. Finn hugged his father, grateful for the trust Burt had placed in him that he did have a reason for the fight, and of course, that he was getting out without punishment.

Finn was holding 10 month old Emily's hands to steady her so she could walk around the house when Kurt came home.

"Finn!" he exclaimed, "are you OK?" Finn sported a black eye, but seemed otherwise unharmed. Kurt was grateful.

"Yeah, I'm suspended for 3 days but I'm not grounded or anything. Did anybody bother you this afternoon?" Finn asked.

"No. You shouldn't have done that, Finn—"

"Riser's not a nice guy, Kurt. I wasn't about to let him try something," Finn interrupted.

"And I appreciate that, but I can't have you fighting my battles for me—"

"Tough, Kurt. I'm your brother, that's what I do," Finn told him, decidedly.

"And what do I do, Finn? What do I contribute to this relationship? I'm not some little kid who needs my big brother to do everything for me! I'm not weak!"

"You're the bravest person I've ever met, Kurt. You have to work hard every single day to stay yourself and not slip into a flashback or a panic attack. You're not weak, you're the strongest person I know," Finn said, pretty much repeating what he'd heard his dad say before. "But we're brothers, and I'm not about to stand aside while somebody hurts you, or says something to you that triggers a flashback and causes problems for you for the rest of the year. You show me every day how to be strong, so let me do this for you, OK?" Finn asked.

It was the deepest speech Kurt had ever heard Finn give, and he felt the tears prickle in his eyes. He hugged his brother, avoiding stepping on his sister. Emily wrapped her chubby little arms around his leg and pulled on his pants. "Gaahhhh!" she shouted. Kurt laughed and picked her up, tossing her in the air much to her delight.

"Now, about Natalie," Finn said.

"What about her?"

"I like her, dude. Like, a lot. Think she'd go out with me?"

Kurt laughed. He could—actually see that. Natalie deserved a really good guy, but Finn was an amazing guy.

"I don't know Finn, how about asking her?"

"Well, I've never asked a girl out before, and I've never been out with someone I actually liked before…" Finn stated.

"What? What about Victoria?" Kurt asked; Finn's girlfriend for a few months last year hadn't been Kurt's favorite person. She didn't really deserve a guy like Finn.

"Well, she just kind of threw herself at me. And she was hot. She's not like Natalie," Finn explained.

"What, Natalie's not hot?"

"No, no she is. Well, she's more beautiful than hot, you know? She's just sweet and nice."

"Well, I don't know. Natalie's a sweet girl, but I don't think she'd tell me if she liked my brother," Kurt stated.

"Well…I'll just talk to her when I get back to school."

"Good plan. Wanna watch a movie?

"What movie?"

"I was thinking Disney…"

"Mulan?"

And so, the boys sat on the couch watching the movie while Emily crawled around her play area until Carole called them for dinner.

The next day, Kurt was off to school alone. He was a little nervous, just knowing Finn wasn't there with him, but he didn't need Finn's protection all the time, he reminded himself. He met up with Sam, who he was in homeroom with. They stopped at their lockers and then were on their way. One of Riser's friends, Todd Herzing, was also in Kurt's homeroom. He was talking to Sam when he felt something hit his head. He leaned down and picked it up; it was a paper airplane. He opened it.

"_Watch your back, fag"_ it read. Kurt ripped it up before Sam could see what was written and stuffed it in his pocket. He tried to ignore Herzing staring at him from behind. He quickly made his way to first hour—the less time he spent in the halls, the safer he was. But between first and second hour, he passed Herzing, who shoved him into a locker and kept walking. Blaine was right there, holding a hand out for Kurt to take and pulling him to his feet.

"You OK?" he asked.

"Yeah…he threw a note at me in homeroom. I don't know what his problem is…" Kurt stated, straightening his jacket.

"What'd it say?" Blaine asked, handing Kurt his fallen books.

"Just to…watch my back," Kurt left out the 'fag' part.

"I hate to say it…but he's probably mad that Finn stepped between you and Riser yesterday. The two of them are…buddies," Blaine told him.

Kurt sighed. This is just what Finn needed—to know that his actions in trying to protect Kurt may possibly have made it worse. He decided he wouldn't tell Finn. The rest of the morning passed without incident, and then was time for lunch.

Kurt and Blaine got in line with Sam, got their lunch, and started making their way to their table when Matt Daniels, another of Riser's friends, ran into him. He made it look like an accident, but Kurt knew better. His food dumped all over the floor.

"Sorry," Daniels said, and made his way back to his table, where, Kurt saw, his buddies were laughing. Kurt picked up his food and threw it away, before sitting down. Each of his friends shared a bit of their lunch, so Kurt had something to eat. Towards the end of lunch, Kurt felt something cold and wet being dumped down his back. It was Herzing, and a carton of milk. Sam and Kyle were on their feet, pushing him away before Kurt could move.

"It was an accident, I tripped, sorry!" Herzing said loudly for the teachers to hear. Two teachers stepped in, forcing the boys apart.

"I have an extra shirt in my locker," Blaine said. "You can wear it." With Sam and Kyle acting as 'body guards,' the boys made their way to Blaine's locker, where he handed Kurt the extra button up, and then to the bathroom so he could change. Kurt took one of his anxiety pills as he felt the panic attack coming on. He had to get through this!

School continued to pass much the same. Kurt was bullied at school by Riser and his friends. Finn and the boys tried to stick up for him as much as they could, but they didn't catch everything. The boys kept their parents in the dark about what was really going on at school. On one hand, Finn thought they should know; but on the other Kurt actually enjoyed school for the most part. He had friends and was getting along great with the Glee club. And he begged Finn not to say anything. Kurt was enjoying Glee very much. They were busily preparing for their first sectionals in November, and Kurt thought they had a good chance! Burt and Carole were very much looking forward to watching their son in the performance. Finn did ask Natalie out, and the two were dating now. Kurt thought they were a cute couple, but he didn't enjoy being in the room when they were kissing.

Kurt loved the glee club. The club gave him the dance outlet he so desperately needed, and they appreciated Kurt's talent. While most of the solos went to seniors, Kurt got his fill in the classroom. The dancing was fun; he got really good at doing flips, and thanked ballet for helping him be so limber. The glee kids became some of his closest school friends.

Sectionals happened on October 20, and Throat Explosion won; they were going on to regionals! His parents exclaimed how proud of him they were, and his brother thought it was pretty neat, too. Tabitha and Gabby announced that there would be a party at their house, and Kurt and his friends went. There was drinking, and Kurt may have had one or two. Burt came to pick him up at 10 and immediately smelled the liquor on his breath. And so, Kurt was grounded for the next 2 weeks. It really only sucked on weekends, as during the week he was so busy with glee and appointments with Dr. Wheeler, neither of which his parents would make him give up.

Glee wasn't the only thing going well. Briggs had an amazing football team, and though only a freshman, the JV coach recruited Finn for their team. Finn had a good arm, and played backup quarterback. The quarterback was a senior, however, and Finn was looking forward to taking that position in the next season. He still got to play several games, and when the quarterback was injured during the second to last game, Finn helped make the winning touchdown. They lost the last playoff game by 2 points at the last second, but Finn played fantastically, and was a shoe in for the position next season.

At school, the glee kids were on a high from winning sectionals. There wasn't, however, much time to celebrate. The glee coach, Ms. Winters, made them get right into preparing for Regionals, which was to take place in January. Kurt focused all of his energy into glee and his homework, as school pretty much sucked. He was thrown into dumpsters, thrown against the lockers, had his lunch tray dumped on him, and called every homophobic name in the book. Blaine had it no better, but Kurt was determined not to let it get to him. He went to school every day with his head held high, he wore what he knew looked good and he didn't care what anyone said, he confronted his bullies head on no matter what the consequences. He still had panic attacks from time to time, but he managed them pretty well; and he had yet to have any flashbacks.

February came, and the glee kids won at Regionals. Kurt's parents were ecstatic, and Finn admitted that it looked like a lot of fun, and that Kurt was really good. Kurt got a solo at Regionals; not a full song, but a few verses. He was over the moon about going to Chicago for Nationals, although he was terrified of the train trip. His parents talked about leaving early and driving up, and as much as Kurt wanted to travel with the group, he thought that was the safer option. Ever since the incident with the locker, he couldn't handle being in enclosed spaces, and Dr. Wheeler advised him against airplanes.

In April, the school hosted a Sadie Hawkins dance, and Blaine asked Kurt if he would like to go with him. Kurt was hesitant. The boys had avoided other school dances, preferring to hang out just the two of them, but Blaine talked him into it.

"I'm just so tired of hiding who I am," he told Kurt. "I just want to have fun at the dance with my best friend. I'm gay and I'm proud, Kurt. Will you go with me? As friends?"

The night of the dance, Blaine's mom dropped him off at the Hummel house quite early. Blaine had dinner with the Hummels, and of course Natalie was there as well—Finn and Burt had picked her up earlier—and Carole took a bunch of pictures. Kurt thought Natalie's dress was beautiful. It was light purple, and Finn had a corsage to match. Kurt was wearing a blue vest, Blaine had a light purple one, and they went well together. They'd decided that while they were going to the dance together, they were not actually 'dating.' Though they both wanted to.

XX HATE CRIME/VIOLENCE. DO NOT READ IF THIS IS A TRIGGER! XX

Kurt and Blaine had an amazing time at the dance. They danced together, and nobody really even said anything. They got a few looks, but they got some positive comments as well, about how cute they were and the like. It got to be about 11:30, and Burt was going to be picking them up soon. Blaine and Kurt decided to go outside for some air while they waited, knowing Finn and Natalie wouldn't be far behind them. Natalie had disappeared to the ladies room with her friends, and Finn was going to wait for her. The dance didn't actually end until midnight, so they were alone outside the school when they heard the boys come up behind them.

"Hey it's the little faggy boys!"

"How dare you two bring your disgusting gay production to the school, forcing everybody to watch. Who do you think you are?"

Kurt looked around, startled.

"Run," Blaine told him. But Kurt wasn't going to leave Blaine. Besides, it was too late. Riser punched him in the face—he was the only one he got a look at, though Kurt counted four. Against two. Kurt fought back. He got a good chunk of the attacker under his nail, but one of the boys grabbed his arms behind his back and Riser punched him once more in the face. Someone was yelling his name—Finn, he recognized the voice, and the boy holding his arms let go; at the same time he heard a car squealing up beside him. Riser pushed Kurt to the side, where he tripped over something and landed painfully on his left knee. And the boys were off.

XX (VIOLENCE OVER, BUT CONTINUED MENTION OF IT)

Burt arrived at the school, looking forward to hearing all about the boys' first high school dance. What he saw, however, was a group of boys at the end of the parking lot, closest to the school. It looked like several of them were ganging up on a few smaller boys. He turned his car in that direction, when he saw Finn running out of the school, yelling Kurt's name. Burt squealed up beside the group, jumping out of the car with a crowbar. The boys took off running, but a teacher coming at them from the school grabbed one of them, twisting an arm behind his back and getting him down on the ground. The other three got away.

"Shit!" Burt swore, getting down next to his son, who had tripped over Blaine on his way down.

"Shit, Kurt, are you OK?"

"Yeah…just my leg. Blaine?" Kurt answered, grabbing onto Burt's jacket to try to pull himself up.

"No, lay down Kurt. You may be injured," he instructed. He took off his jacket and lay it under his son's head, before turning his attention to Blaine.

"Call 911, Finn," he instructed, but a teacher that had come running from the school already had 911 on the line.

"Blaine," he said, getting down next to the other boy. "Blaine, can you hear me?" Blaine was unresponsive.

"Don't move him!" the teacher on with the dispatcher advised, but Burt already knew not to; afraid of what injuries he may have sustained. He'd taken multiple first aid and CPR classes, both as a foster parent and as an auto mechanic and garage owner, and everything said you should never move a person if their injuries weren't obvious. Always wait for medical personnel. But Burt took Blaine's wrist in his hand and felt for a pulse. There was a strong one, which was good, and Blaine was breathing on his own. Burt figured he must have hit his head on the way down and knocked himself out. Another teacher ran up beside him and got down next to Blaine and Burt. He glanced at the teacher a few yards away, holding the kid he'd caught on the ground. The kid had stopped struggling.

"What happened?" he asked.

"A bunch of boys were beating them up when I showed up," Burt told him.

"Oh God…who?"

"It was Doug Riser and his groupies," Kurt supplied. "Is he OK, Dad?"

"I don't know, son. Just lie still, alright?"

"Dad!"

"Hey, Kurt," Finn said, kneeling down beside his brother. He pushed Kurt's hair back soothingly, "dad's doing what he can for Blaine, but the ambulance is on its way, OK?" Kurt, tears running down his face, nodded. He pushed himself up despite his father's protests and leaned against Finn, who allowed his brother to place his head in his lap. But if he could do that on his own, Burt figured, he was probably OK.

Three other adults had now joined them, the rest stopping any kids from leaving the school.

Burt pulled out his cell phone, dialing his home number.

"Honey?" he asked when a sleepy Carole answered on the third ring. "Something happened at the school. You need to meet us at the hospital. There was an accident at school. Kurt seems OK, but he's going to the hospital anyway, OK? Call Blaine's parents and tell them to get over there as soon as they can. OK, honey, I gotta go…the police are here. I love you…I know, we'll see you soon."

The first police car arrived, and the cops went straight for the kid on the ground, being held by a teacher. They apprehended him, and sat him in the back of the squad car for further questioning, while they went to talk to the teacher who had held him. The ambulance arrived directly behind the squad car, and they went straight for Blaine, who was clearly the worse off of the two.

XX

Kurt's face hurt, and his knee hurt…but he didn't _think_ he was injured anywhere else. He wasn't fully aware of what had happened. He and Blaine were standing there talking and then…Doug Riser was there… And he wasn't sure what had happened to Blaine, but he knew he was unconscious. Kurt had never been more happy to hear his dad's voice. Now, he was leaning against his brother, concentrating on his breathing and his brother's gentle head rubbing.

"Is he OK?" he asked the paramedics as he saw them loading him on the gurney.

"He's on his way to the hospital. He'll be well cared for," the paramedic assured him. "And I hear the sirens…the other ambulance is almost here. Hold tight, kid."

Kurt closed his eyes, _in two three four, out two three four, in two three four, out two three four._

He could hear the ambulance. The paramedic's face came into focus. One of them was feeling his neck, and then wrapping a neck brace around it. They were shining lights in his eyes…there were sirens all around him, flashing lights, it was dark, and Kurt was transported back in time. He was being pulled from the car, looking into the face of the man who saved him. He thought it was his dad, but his dad was dead. Was Kurt dead? He didn't _think_ so. The man said he wasn't dead…

"Mommy!" Kurt cried, as the paramedics wheeled him into the ambulance. The man held his hand the entire way. "Get mommy!"

Kurt thrashed, he bucked, trying to get away. He screamed as something held him down. He tried to push them away, but he couldn't move. And then, the world went dark.

XX

Burt recognized the signs of the flashback the moment they started, but it took him a moment to realize that the mommy he was calling out for wasn't Carole. Carole was never _Mommy_. She was mom; sometimes mama, but mostly mom. He wondered where Kurt was…was it the night of the accident? Kurt had never gone back this far. He still had his 14 year old strength, though, and he was using all of it. Burt was backhanded in the nose before he got Kurt pinned down, and blood spurted from his nostrils.

The paramedic pulled out a needle, and filled it with liquid.

"What's that?" Burt asked, skeptically.

"Just a mild sedative. It'll wear off in an hour or so, it's just enough to calm him down," the paramedic explained.

Burt nodded, and the paramedic injected Kurt, who almost instantly fell asleep.

XX

After receiving what was most definitely the scariest phone call she'd ever received-the one every mother dreads to get—Carole race upstairs, throwing some clothes on as she dialed the Anderson's number on the phone. Mrs. Anderson answered on the second ring, apparently waiting up for Blaine.

"There's been an accident, Jessica," she said. "I don't know what kind, Burt just told me to meet them at the hospital…and that you should go as well," she explained. A worried Jessica Anderson hung up on her, after agreeing to get to the hospital. Carole grabbed Kurt's bear, Paddington, a pair of pajamas, and his favorite blanket (the one they' gotten him when he first arrived) and threw them all in a bag, then went to the baby's room. Emily was sleeping peacefully in her crib. Carole grabbed the always-stocked diaper bag from the changing table, and gently lifted Emily from her crib. She hurried downstairs, and quickly made her way to the car, buckling Emily in her car seat. And they were off. As frantic as Carole was, she reminded herself to drive carefully. She arrived at the hospital, got out the stroller and her bag, and left the car with the valet. She arrived just as a squad car showed up, and Finn climbed out of the back seat.

"Mom!" he shrieked, running to her. Carole wrapped her son tightly in her arms.

"Are you OK?" she asked. He nodded. "How did you get here?" Finn gestured toward the police who were making their way toward them. "C'mon, lets get inside." With Emily safely in her stroller, the three of them made their way inside, the officers following. She looked around the waiting room, but didn't see him.

"Hi, I'm here about Kurt Hummel?" she asked the receptionist. The receptionist directed them to room 103, the first door down the hall on the left.

Carole told Finn to wait in the waiting room with Emily. He protested, but she didn't want him to see his brother until she knew what he looked like. Upon entering the room, she saw Burt standing to the side while a sleeping Kurt was having his nose taped up. His nose had been taped up, and Carole knew it was broken.

"Oh, my baby!" she exclaimed. "Is he OK?"

"Yes, he has a broken nose, and one of his teeth went through his lip; we've already stitched that up. He's going in for a CT and X ray on his leg. He's under a very mild sedative, he should be waking up shortly," she explained.

"He had a flashback in the ambulance," Burt said, "they had to give him something."

"A flashback to what?" she asked.

"He was calling for his mommy…I think it must have been the accident," he told her.

XX

Kurt was aware of voices in the background. But where was he? What had happened? He groggily opened his eyes, to see his parents over his bed.

"Mom?" he asked, a little confused. "What happened?"

"Do you remember?" the doctor asked.

Kurt thought for a moment. A lot of mumble jumble floated through his mind. Sirens, bright lights, his biological mother, an angel that pulled him out of the car (an angel that looked extremely familiar)….but no, that wasn't right. Doug Riser, the dance, a fight, Blaine. Blaine. "There was an attack," he said. "Some kids came at me and Blaine. Where is Blaine? Is he OK?"

"I'll check in a moment for you, Kurt, but I need you to answer some questions for me," the doctor said.

She asked him basics, his name, where he lived, how old he was, where he went to school, and then asked him if he remembered what happened, if he'd hit his head, if he felt any dizziness or nausea. It took a moment, but Kurt did remember what happened. He didn't think he hit his head. He was a little confused, but he thought that might be whatever they'd given him. Then the doctor felt his head, asking him to tell her if he felt any pain. She pressed on his shoulders, on his ears, massaged around the back of his head…Kurt felt no pain. His lip hurt, and his nose. He had a headache between his eyes, but the doctor said this was a result of the broken nose, not a concussion. The doctor concluded that he hadn't hit his head, but she did want to get a CAT scan because of the flashback in the ambulance, as well as an X-ray and CT for his leg. Then told him she'd be right back to take him to CT.

"Blaine," Kurt reminded her. "I need to know how he is!"

Wait…

Flashback in the ambulance? Kurt wracked his brain, and he saw the angel again. The one that pulled him out of a car, the one that held him and told him he'd be OK, while he was crying for his mommy. Who was he? Why did Kurt recognize him?

A nurse knocked on the door. "Some officers are here to talk to you," she told him.

Kurt explained everything he remembered. From the bullying at school, to the looks at the dance, to Doug Riser in the parking lot with his cronies.

"I didn't actually see any of them but Doug…but I know it was them. It was Todd Harding that was caught on the scene, and one of the other two had to be Matt Daniels. I'm not sure who the fourth one was."

The officers took his dad in the hall to get his statement; his dad came in a few minutes later.

"Mrs. Hummel?" a nurse asked, sticking her head in. "Your son is asking to come back."

Carole nodded, and a minute later Finn entered, pushing a sleeping Emily in her stroller.

"Kurt!" he exclaimed, handing the seat to his mother. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," Kurt answered. "I just want to know how Blaine is!"

The boys talked for a few minutes before the doctor returned, telling Kurt it was time to go back for CT and x-ray, and a CAT scan. Kurt protested, stating that he wanted to hear about Blaine, but was told that she couldn't get any information yet, and hopefully she could have something for him after his scans.

The CAT scan came back normal, but the CT on his knee showed that, while it wasn't broken, the tissue in his knee was badly bruised. The doctor told him that they would need to take a look at the more extensive CT scan of his knee when the specialist came in the next day, but assured him that he would heal fully; however he would be less mobile for a while and wouldn't be dancing for at least 6 months.

"What!?" Kurt exclaimed. Dancing was the only thing that kept him going! "I need glee! I need it to get through school!" he tried to explain.

"I'm sorry, Kurt, but there's no way your dancing on that knee," the doctor confirmed, before excusing herself, saying a nurse would be in with some soft bandaging. They would be keeping Kurt the night, she said, but he'd be released tomorrow.

"Kurt, don't worry about it for now, OK? You're not going back to school until we figure out what we're doing. You can homeschool with grandma again for the time being, alright?" Carole asked, rubbing his head gently. Tearfully, Kurt nodded. At least he wouldn't have to go back to school.

"Why don't you take the kids home," Burt suggested. "Get some sleep. I'll stay here with Kurt. It's probably best we get the baby out of this germy environment anyway."

"You go," Carole insisted. "I don't want to leave him."

Burt nodded, and the three of them left. A nurse came a few minutes later and wrapped Kurt's leg up in soft bandaging, and then brought him to a different room, one with a sofa that Carole could sleep on.

"What about Blaine Anderson?" Kurt asked her as they entered the new room. "How is he?"

"His mother wants you to know she'll talk to you in the morning, but to put your mind at rest, he will be fine," the nurse assured him.

Kurt nodded, thankfully. He wished he knew what was wrong with Blaine, but at least he knew he'd be OK.

Carole helped him adjust his pillow, and covered him with a blanket, tucking Paddington under his arm. "How are you doing, sweetie?" she asked, gently.

Kurt burst into the tears he'd been holding back since the incident. "Why is it always me?" he asked her. It was always him. Him, that Uncle Charles took out his wrath on. Him, that Mr. Douser chose to abuse. Him, that the boys in middle school chose to mistreat after witnessing a flashback. Him, that was stuffed in a locker. Him, that was sought out tonight after the dance. Kurt knew tonight was his fault. The other times, maybe he'd had no control, but tonight he chose to go to the dance with another boy. He knew how they felt about it, but he still did it.

"Oh honey," Carole said, climbing onto the bed next to him so he could curl in against her. "It's not you're fault. None of this is. You are a remarkable young man; you know you are. People just don't know how to appreciate you. They're afraid of what's different. Dad and I are going to figure out what to do, I promise. I don't know what it will be yet, but you won't be going back to Briggs, alright?"

Kurt finally fell into an exhausted, drug induced sleep.

_So, I hate to beg for reviews, but I've only gotten one for the past several chapters (and thank you! I really appreciate those few!). I don't know if people are enjoying the story, I don't know if it's worth continuing, so please, please review. It really does make me super happy when I get one! Constructive criticism is welcome! Thank you! Things are really starting to pick up with where I am now, and time is going to go MUCH more slowly, but a lot more detailed. I'm actually in the glee series now, which makes it easier in some ways and soooo much harder in others._


	13. Chapter 13

_So I was completely blown away by the amount of reviews I got on the last chapter. Seriously guys, you made my day! Thank you so much! Ya'll are amazing and fantastic, and I love you! And here's the next chapter. Things go much slower from here on out._

The next day, Kurt woke up to voices. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around, taking a moment to figure out where he was. In the hospital…where was his mother? He'd just heard her… His face was throbbing, painfully. He groaned, catching his mother's attention.

"Oh, honey, you're awake! How are you feeling?" she asked, poking in from behind the door, where she was talking in the hall.

"M'face hurts," Kurt complained. It hurt to talk, his lip was throbbing where his stitches rubbed against his tooth. Carole reached over him and grabbed the call button.

"We'll get someone to come help with that," she told him. Jessica Anderson joined them in the room.

"Hi, Kurt, can I come in?" she asked with a very small smile.

"Mrs. Anderson, how's Blaine?" he asked through the pain. He wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed it as much last night.

"He's…he'll be OK. He hit his head, he has a concussion, and that's what knocked him out yesterday. A broken arm, and his face is bruised, but it could have been a lot worse. I'm so glad both of you are OK," Mrs. Anderson said, putting a hand on his arm as she sat down in the chair next to his bed.

"You gave the police a statement? I'm afraid Blaine doesn't remember much of it, the doctors said that's common with a concussion," she told him.

Kurt was a bit envious of Blaine, he would have liked to forget. But then again, maybe not. He knew what it was like to have memories blocked from your consciousness, and he didn't like it. Even if they were bad memories.

"Can I see him?" he asked.

"I think so…Blaine's being discharged tomorrow, why don't you come up before you go home today? Room 207," she suggested. "I think he'd like to see you."

"Thanks Mrs. A. Is he going back to Briggs?" Kurt wanted to know.

"No. It seems as if Mr. Anderson is finally getting his wish. Anyway, Kurt, I hope you feel better really soon…come up and see us when you want to today, and we'll see about getting you boys together sometime in the next few weeks," she promised.

"Thanks Mrs. A," Kurt said, waving goodbye. He liked Blaine's mom…he always had. Blaine's dad was a little more…distant. But he loved Blaine; that much was clear. He didn't particularly love the fact that Blaine was gay, but Blaine said he thought it was more out of concern of how difficult it would make Blaine's life, which after last night, Kurt understood.

She left as a nurse entered, giving him a dose of pain medication. The doctor came to talk to him a few minutes later. He explained that Kurt's knee injury wasn't major. The CT showed no fracture, just a lot of bruising and swelling to the surrounding tissue; painful, but no surgery would be required. He would send Kurt home with a rented wheelchair, but didn't want him to use it for more than a week. Kurt would be in a knee immobilizing brace, and use a walker to get around. He wasn't to take the brace off, at all. He would be in physical therapy twice a week, and he wasn't to do anything strenuous, including dancing. Kurt felt the tears well up in his eyes at this…he would have to kiss _glee _goodbye. But he'd probably have to do that even if his knee wasn't busted. The swelling in his knee was still significant, so he would remain in the soft bandaging for now, and need to keep it iced. They also said to keep ice on his face, and sent in a prescription for some high-strength pain relief pills that, they warned Carole, would make him very sleepy.

Kurt listened for a while, but then let his mind wander. This was one of those times that he wished he were anybody but him. He didn't know why the world hated him. He knew the world didn't _really_ hate him. He had plenty of friends, and glee, Bajar and his showcase all absolutely loved him for more than just his talent. He had a family who loved him and would do anything for him. But right now, all he could think about was why it was always him that everything bad happened to. His parents death, his abusive uncle, his sister being taken away, Mr. Douser, his mental health, the kids in 6th grade, his sexuality, the closing of Bajar (the first school he felt at home in), and now this. At that moment, he thought his life pretty much sucked.

The hospital brought Kurt's lunch up, and Kurt begrudgingly ate it. He wasn't hungry, but they insisted he eat with his medication. There wasn't much he could eat—his jaw was bruised, and he had a big cut on his lip that burned with anything that wasn't extremely mild. When he was done, Carole helped Kurt into a wheelchair and brought him upstairs to Blaine's room. Knocking softly on the door, they were invited to enter.

Blaine's room was dark. His mother was sitting next to him, helping him cut his lunch into bite sized pieces. Blaine's right arm was elevated on a pillow on his side, wrapped in the same bandaging Kurt's leg was wrapped in, with an ice pack strapped on. His face was bruised, though not as badly as Kurt's, Blaine had a large cut on the side of his head, in front of his ear, all stitched up. Kurt wondered what that was from.

"Kurt!" Blaine's face lit up as Kurt and his mom entered, but he spoke quietly. Mrs. Anderson and Kurt's mom stepped into the hallway to give the boys some privacy. "Are you OK?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah," Kurt assured him. "Broken nose and busted knee, but they'll heal. You?"

"My arm is broken, and I have a concussion. But they said it's not a bad one," Blaine told him.

They sat in silence for a moment, before…

"Blaine, I'm so sorry," Kurt said, tearing up.

"Why are you sorry? I'm the one that suggested we go to this stupid dance," Blaine responded.

"Yeah, but…I'm just…" Kurt stuttered, not sure what he wanted to say.

"Kurt, listen. It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You're perfect, don't let them make you think anything different. If this was anyone's fault, it was mine" Blaine said. Kurt leaned forward and kissed Blaine's fingers—on his good hand—all Kurt could reach trapped in his chair.

"No Blaine…it was theirs," Kurt responded. The boys were able to talk for a few minutes before the moms re-entered then, and said Blaine needed his rest. He would see Kurt again when he was recovered from his concussion.

Kurt's dad met them at the hospital, stating that Grandma Lorrie was with Finn and Emily, and the two of them talked with Kurt's doctor for a few minutes before finally making their way to the valet desk. When Carole's car came, they both helped Kurt into the front seat, and Burt said he'd meet them at the house.

Finn was ecstatic to see Kurt when he was helped into the house. He helped Kurt get comfortable on the couch, and then brought him his phone.

"My phone's been going crazy! Everybody was wondering how you were," he told his brother. "This fell out of your pocket at the school…Mr. Thomas dropped it off this morning. I charged it for you," he explained. Kurt took it, thanking his brother, and turned it on. 27 texts and 7 missed calls. At least one, and some several, from Sophia, Katie, Cory, Brittany, Natalie, Troy, Sam, Kyle, Derek, and Max. It made Kurt happy to know that, despite all the hate in the world, he had a group of friends that loved him.

"Wait," he asked. "How did Derek and Max even know anything happened?"

"Oh, I think Natalie had something to do with that," he said. "She was pretty freaked out last night." Kurt nodded…she wasn't the only one. While he wasn't thrilled with the whole world knowing, he supposed it was a good thing that he didn't actually have to tell anyone.

Kurt spent the rest of the day being waited on by his family, watching musicals, cuddling with his sister, and hanging out with his brother. His mom helped him upstairs that night, helped him take a bath, and gently cleaned his face. Kurt would have to skip his moisturizing routine until his face was healed; he'd just have to take extra care afterward to repair the damage done to his so carefully perfected skin.

Kurt and Blaine were dancing outside the school. Kurt had never felt this safe and comfortable in anybody's arms…except maybe his parents, but this was a different kind of comfort. A different kind of safe. It was dark out, and the two had left to escape the crowds of the dance. Blaine told Kurt he wanted to fly to France, and Kurt agreed. They could take Blaine's dad's boat, and set sail. Blaine was happy—so happy. He leaned forward, intending to kiss Kurt. And Kurt wasn't disturbed by it. He _wanted _it. He leaned forward, but it wasn't Blaine he was face to face with, it was Doug Riser. Doug pushed him away, causing him to land backward on the cement, but the cement was wet. He sank into it as it hardened around him. Doug reared back to clock him, his fist neared Kurt's face, and then his dad was there. There were bright lights, an ambulance, police cars. It was raining. And somebody was lifting him out of the cement. Dad? But no, it wasn't dad. It was…an angel. An angel Kurt knew but couldn't place. He told Kurt he would be OK, but then Todd Herzing was there, pushing his angel away. Kurt screamed. And he was shaken awake by his mother, who held him for the next hour while he calmed himself down. His mom spent the rest of the night sleeping in Kurt's queen-sized bed, and he slept better for it.

XX

Finn went back to school on Monday. Everybody, of course, hounded him about his brother and Blaine. By everybody, he meant the glee club (who loved him) and some of the kids in their shared classes. Several people came up to him at lunch to check on Kurt, too. Despite the several homophobes, most of the kids who knew Kurt actually really liked him.

As Finn was changing to go to gym after lunch, however, Matt Daniels approached him. Finn was held up getting to the locker rooms, so he was one of the last ones changing. It was just the two of them.

"How's the little fag? Learn his place yet?" Daniels asked.

"If you touch him, I'll kill you," Finn challenged. "You leave him and Blaine alone. I know it was you, even if they haven't figured it out yet. They will."

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. But there were more, weren't there? You'll never find out who was all there that night, and they'll always be here, watching. Watching your whole family. You think they don't know where you live? You think they won't go after the fag again? And you too? You're just as bad, encouraging it."

Finn brought his arm up to punch Daniels, but Daniels caught him and came at him, punching him in the gut. Finn was quick though, and brought his knee up, hard, between Daniels' legs. Daniels was on the ground, and Finn ran out of the room, as best he could. That _was_ a hard punch, he received.

An hour later, Finn was relaying the story _again_ to his dad and the police officer. The officer relayed that it was his word against Daniels, and there really wasn't a lot they could do. He also pointed out that Daniels was the one injured, while Finn seemed just fine. In fact, the Daniels family had due cause to press charges, and the school really had no choice but to suspend Finn for a week.

"Now hold on one flipping minute," Burt exclaimed, standing up. "My son was brutally attacked, in a _hate crime_ on _school grounds. _During a freaking supervised school dance! My other son was defending himself against one of the perpetrators, who threatened both of my children, and my entire _family,_ and you think _they_ have cause to press charges? Think again. We could sue this school so fast your hair would spin. And we still might. Don't be surprised if you get the notice. As for the suspension, don't bother. Finn won't be coming back here. Come on son, lets go."

Finn stared at his dad, flabbergasted for just a moment, before standing up to follow him out of the office. He paused at the door, trying to think of a fitting statement before he walked out, but his dad seemed to have said it all.

"Yeah," he told the principle and officers staring back at him, with gusto, storming out after his dad.

Burt took Finn to Urgent Care, just to make sure Daniels hadn't bruised or broken any ribs, but Finn felt OK, just a little winded. The doctor confirmed he was fine, so the two of them headed for home.

That night, Burt got a call from Phillip Pierce, Brittany's dad, wanting to check up on Kurt. Burt confided that he didn't know what to do. He couldn't send either boy back to Briggs, and what the Daniels boy had said to Finn in the locker room _really_ got to him, but the police didn't seem to take it seriously.

"Have you considered a move, Burt? There's a guy out here, Dennis Leery, he owns Leery's garage. Best place in Lima, everyone goes to him. He's been trying to sell for a while now, wants to retire, but he is pretty picky about who he'll sell to. He wants it to be a reputable, stand-up guy, someone he can confidently refer his clients to. You might consider opening an expansion of Hummel Lube and Tires, here in Lima. A new start for all of you, get the boys away from everything going on there, and Brittany really likes McKinley. It might be something real profitable for you, if Carole can get a transfer over to Lima Memorial," Phil suggested.

Burt was speechless for a moment. "Wow…Phil, I…wow. Well I mean it's certainly something to discuss with Carole…"

"And it's only 45 minutes on the other side of Harding," Phil let him know.

When they hung up from their phone conversation, Burt was seriously wondering if this might be worth considering. He didn't exactly want to pick up and move 200 miles away, but he wondered if that might be exactly what his boys, his family needed. The Lima garage _did_ sound promising.

"Carole," he addressed that night, as the two were lying in bed. Emily was between them, up for her 10:00 nursing. "Phil called me today, told me about this garage in Lima that's for sale."

He told her everything Phil had told him, and to his surprise she didn't veto the idea immediately.

"I've been wondering if moving might be the answer," she told him honestly. "The boys are both constantly looking over their backs. They can't get away from anything here," she said. "None of us can…"

Neither Finn nor Kurt could go back to Briggs, and as it was already the end of April, Carole registered them for the Ohio online academy to finish out their freshman year from home. The boys enjoyed it; Grandma Lorrie came over every day to help them, and they got to spend a lot of time baking. Finn, feeling sorry for Kurt, let him choreograph some ridiculous dances that Finn would try to dance to, and though Finn was a terrible dancer, it made Kurt laugh and it was a lot of fun. It was great to be able to spend some quality time with his brother in a non-grounded setting, and not have to worry about anybody coming after him.

Meanwhile, the parents talked, and a week or so later Burt made the call to Mr. Leery. He drove down there to check the place out, and immediately loved it. This would be a great move for their family, even aside from the boys' situation. He could really start putting money away for the kids' college with this kind of double income. Finn was 15 now, and Kurt close to it; that time was coming up quicker then he cared to admit. Burt and Carole drove down to Lima to visit McKinley. He seemed like a bit of an idiot, but he assured Burt that the school was safe, and they had one of the top cheerleading programs in the nation. Burt wondered if this was something Kurt might want to get into. If it was safe; if the school wouldn't turn on him. They weren't naïve enough to think that bullying didn't exist here, but they didn't have the money to send Kurt to private school and this was a fresh start. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad here, especially if Kurt was friends with one of the popular kids. Brittany was as loyal as they came, and Burt was thankful for that.

He talked it over with their lawyer on Tuesday, who explained what the expansion would mean. Burt sent an inspector out to check Leery's garage, make sure the construction was sound and up to date, and then addressed his employees. The employees were sorry to see him go, but Burt felt confident in his decision to leave it in the hands of his best man. To his surprise, two of his employees asked if they could make the transfer with him. They were both good workers, so Burt agreed.

The boys didn't take it as well at first. Kurt didn't want to leave Throat Explosion, but Burt pointed out that he wouldn't be going to that school anymore anyway. He didn't want to leave Blaine, or his friends. His parents promised that he'd still see them. Finn was upset to leave his friends, even though he knew he couldn't go back to school with them. In the end, they both accepted that this was the best choice for their family. They had through the summer to make the move, but they wanted to get there in the next few months so Finn would have a chance to work on football, and so the packing began.

The next week, Jessica Anderson brought Blaine over while the Hummel parents drove to Lima.

"They're sending me to Dalton," Blaine confided. "It's this private school in Westerville with a zero bullying policy. My dad's wanted me to go there for a while, but I begged him to let me go to public school."

"You'll make friends there," Kurt assured him. "You're easy to love. And you're so…dapper. And kind of ritzy. You'll get along well at a ritzy school like that." Blaine cracked a smile.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"We're moving to Lima," Kurt told him. "They want to make it happen soon, they already bought a garage for my dad's expansion. They're looking at houses today…that's why my mom wanted your mom here."

Blaine put an arm around Kurt, laying his head on his friend's shoulder. "I'm going to miss you," he said.

"We'll visit," Kurt promised. "And next year we can even drive to see each other." Blaine smiled.

"You'll be careful, won't you, Kurt. It's a public school and…I'll be worried about you," Blaine said.

"I'll be careful," Kurt promised. "And hey, you'll be going to school with Derek…so you'll already know someone there!" Kurt pointed out.

"Ugh, I don't like that guy," Blaine said wrinkling his nose.

"Why not?" Kurt asked. "He's nice!"

"You don't still want to be with him?" Blaine asked.

"No, of course not. We're better at being friends, but we still talk sometimes. He says he loves Dalton. Why don't you like him?" Kurt asked.

Blaine blushed a bright red. "No reason…we just didn't click," he said.

"Well," Kurt stated. "You know there's at least one other gay guy at Dalton. And the best part is, this time you'll be the one who gets to hold hands in the hallway while all the straight guys look on, longingly!" Although for some reason, the thought of Blaine holding hands with another boy hurt. He didn't want there to be another boy, even if he and Blaine weren't actually together.

Blaine laughed, but looked down.

"There won't be any hand holding," he assured Kurt. "My dad doesn't want me to let anybody there know I'm gay," he said. "He said he doesn't care if I am, and when I graduate and move out of Ohio I can be anybody I want. But he thinks I should try to blend in in high school, for my own safety."

"That's sad…but…I mean, I kind of get it, I guess. I'm not coming out at my new school. Nobody needs to know.

"I do too," Blaine agreed. "I'm just so tired of hiding and lying. I want to just be _me_, and be accepted for being me. I feel like that shouldn't be asking too much."

"It shouldn't be," Kurt agreed. "But it seems to be."

"I wish you could come to Dalton with me," Blaine told him.

"I wish you could come to McKinley with me," Kurt responded. "We'll stay friends though, right? I mean we became kinda good friends when you were in middle school and I as at Bajar. There's no reason we couldn't make it work this time, right?"

"Forever," Blaine promised.

The next few weeks were spent packing. Nobody went to school, though Kurt and Finn had been keeping up on their online program. Carole had been successful in her transfer to Lima Memorial, and would be starting there at the end of June, so they had until then to get to Lima. Kurt had therapy appointments with Dr. Wheeler three times a week for the time being, but he was actually pretty proud of himself for how well he was handling everything. He was having flashbacks again, but they were mostly happening at night. And Kurt wasn't really sure if he should call them flashbacks or dreams. Kurt was also moved out of a soft cast and given a knee immobilizing brace that, he was told, he had to wear at all times. It wasn't comfortable, but at least he didn't have to be so careful about jostling it, like he had the soft cast. He started physical therapy in Columbus a week after the incident, but would be transferred to Lima when they moved. He was already up and moving on his knee…he had to wear a knee immobilizing brace, but he was glad it wasn't broken. By the time they were ready to move, he could walk alright on it, so long as he didn't do anything major, and he had to take stairs very slowly. The bruising on his face had healed quite well, other than the purple spots by his eyes that were a result of a healing broken nose. Kurt could cover them pretty well with make-up.

They had a goodbye party the next weekend, just before they left. It was difficult to say goodbye to everyone, but Kurt knew that they would only live an hour and a half away, and he would be able to see them all again. He tried not to think about it as he gave his final goodbyes, and was helped into the car. The house was empty, it was still on the market but they had several potential buyers. Burt had all the loose ends tied up at work, and ready for him to open his Lima expansion.

The new house was nice. It was two stories, 4 bedrooms on the second story, a fifth bedroom on the first story that the Hummels would use as a guest bedroom, and a furnished basement with yet another bedroom that would be used as a study/storage space. It had a foyer that led into a nice sized living room, off to the left of a small den. To the other side of the foyer was a full, large kitchen with an island and all the amenities and a dining area that connected the kitchen to the living room. The staircase leading to the second floor was off of the living room.

His parents, of course, got the master bedroom, and Emily the small one right next to it. Kurt claimed the room with the biggest closet, as he had an extensive wardrobe, and Finn was happy with the room closest to the stairs, slightly bigger than Kurt's but not by much, and overlooking the back yard. Kurt was limited in terms of how well he could unpack his things, with his knee getting in the way, but Carole assured him she would help as soon as she finished getting the essentials unpacked. A lot of Kurt's things were still in Columbus, anyway. Kurt liked the new house. He could see his family living there.

Brittany and her parents came over the day after the Hummels' arrival to help them unpack.

"KURT!" She screeched as she ran into the open door, while her parents went to help Finn and the Hummel parents empty the truck. Kurt was sitting on the floor, leg stretched out in front of him, wearing his immobilizing brace. He didn't wear it often anymore, but he was a little afraid he'd try to move it too quickly, accidentally, when he was in charge of Emily. Brittany ran up to him, sitting on the floor next to him, and pulling him into a big hug.

"I've missed you SOOO much!" she exclaimed. "And Emily is huge!" Emily took that moment to bop Brittany in the head with a plush toy. They both laughed. They played with Emily until eventually, she fell asleep. Brittany carried her up to her room to put her in her crib, Kurt following slowly behind. Then they went in Kurt's room and Brittany helped him unpack.

"I'm so excited we'll be going to school together again!" Brittany exclaimed as she unpacked the box according to Kurt's instructions. His room was looking quite put together now, with Brittany's help.

"Brittany? Kurt hesitated. "Brit…are there bullies at this school? Like at Briggs?"

"Well..." Brittany said, "I never went to Briggs, but yes, there are. But Kurt, I'm a cheerleader, you'll stick tight to me, and I'll make sure your safe," she promised. "And maybe when your knee is better, you can join Cheerios. They are amazing performers, and nobody bugs the kids on the squad," she suggested.

Kurt bit his lip—he hoped she knew what she was talking about. Cheerios may be a possibility, especially if it kept him safe.

_And again, thank you for the reviews! Please keep it up! You're feedback means a lot to me! I love hearing any suggestions or guesses you have, and your thoughts on the story! The next chapter is already complete, it just needs to be edited, so it should be out in a few days._


	14. Chapter 14

_So this is where things start taking after the show more, I'm pretty much sticking to meaningful moments between the main characters, however. I love Glee, I really do, but the writers do not make it easy to write about it! The continuity problems in the show require many artistic liberties, so this story is nothing close to cannon, and I will be changing things at my discretion :) Also...Brittany is out of character, simply because my Brittany is quite different than the show's. Still the naive, sweet girl, though._

The first day of school arrived, and Kurt carefully picked out his outfit. He kept it simple, jeans and a red striped shirt with a jacket. He looked good, but there was no need to purposely attract attention on his first day. His dad picked up Brittany on their way to school, so she could walk in with the boys. Kurt was extremely thankful that Brittany was there, he wasn't sure he could do it without her.

Brittany chattered excitedly, but Kurt's mind wandered. He felt confident he could do this; he _had_ to do this. He had overcome so much, and he wasn't going to _let_ this tear him down. This was his chance at a fresh start. Burt pulled up in front of the school.

"Hey," Burt said, looking at Kurt. "You have any problems, call me and I'll come get you, OK?

Kurt nodded, and the three of them headed off, Brittany linked arms with Kurt and Finn walking on Kurt's other side. Brittany showed them where their lockers were (next to each other) and led them to their homeroom.

Kurt's morning went alright. For the most part nobody paid much attention to him, and he kept to himself; everyone was too excited about the first day of school he pretty much went unnoticed. He had one class with Finn in the morning, and two in the afternoon. There was an open period in the morning that was dedicated to band/orchestra for those students involved, and study hall for everyone else. In advanced math, the African American girl in front of the seat he took turned around and introduced herself. She was wearing a hideous leopard print shirt, but she seemed friendly enough so Kurt let it go.

"I'm Mercedes Jones," she said with a smile.

"Kurt Hummel," he responded.

"Are you new here? I don't recognize you," she asked.

"Yeah, my family just moved here from Columbus this summer," Kurt explained.

"Why on earth would you move to Lima from _Columbus?_" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

"My dad bought out Mr. Leery's garage. He's opening an expansion to his garage in Columbus," Kurt responded with practiced ease. It was the truth, even if it wasn't the whole truth. She accepted it though, and the bell rang. Lunch was next, and Mercedes invited Kurt to sit with her.

"Umm…well, my friend Brittany goes here, I knew her from Columbus, and she wants me to sit with her," he explained. "Why don't you join us?"

"Brittany who?" she asked.

"Pierce…"

"Uh, no thanks. I don't sit with cheerleaders," she answered. "See you later, Kurt."

And she was off. Kurt hoped he hadn't just messed up the possibility of his first friendship.

Brittany's friends were alright, they were the kinds of girls he usually steered clear of at Briggs, but he didn't want to hurt Brittany's feelings. Of course, they all already knew Finn from football over the summer; he was already well liked, but other than Brittany they ignored Kurt for the most part. Finn's girlfriend since early July, Quinn, who Kurt hadn't met before today, was all over Finn. Finn was eating it up….but there was something about Quinn that disturbed Kurt. She looked familiar, but he couldn't figure out why. And she kept shooting him awkward glances. Kurt tore his eyes from her and looked around for Mercedes. She was across the cafeteria, sitting with a couple of other kids.

"What's wrong, Kurtie?" Brittany asked.

"This girl I met in math, Mercedes Jones, she asked me to sit with her. I felt a little bad, but she didn't want to sit here. She seemed nice," he told his friend.

"Oh, Mercedes, yeah, I don't know her that well but she seems nice. Let's go sit with her," Brittany suggested.

"But, your friends," Kurt hesitated.

"You're my best friend, Kurt. Let's go sit with Mercedes." She stood up and made her way over, and Kurt hesitated but followed.

"Where are you going?" Santana asked, grabbing Brittany's arm.

"We're going to sit with Kurt's friend," Brittany said, leading Kurt away. Finn got up to follow him, leaving a scowling Quinn at the table. Kurt noticed Finn's hesitation and assured him that he wouldn't mind if Finn decided to stay with the girls.

Mercedes stared at him the entire way over.

"Can we sit here?" he asked as he approached the table. Mercedes nodded, and he and Brittany sat down. "This is my friend, Brittany. We went to school together until last year," Kurt explained.

"H..hi," Mercedes said.

"Hi, Mercedes. I really like you're hair," Brittany complimented.

"Thanks," Mercedes replied, touching her carefully perfected curls. Conversation flowed freely once it had started, and Kurt found that he actually really liked Mercedes. She was funny, sweet, and sassy. He could easily see her getting along well in his group back in Columbus, and she got along just as well with him as she did Brittany.

"I don't know why you hang out with them," Mercedes commented. "You're so nice, you're nothing like them."

"They're not so bad, they're just hard to get to know," Brittany assured her.

"Sure, when you look like you," Mercedes told her. "When you look like me, the only time they give you the time of day is when they're calling you names."

Brittany looked like she didn't really know what to say, so Kurt changed the subject. They talked about Marc Jacobs for a bit, until the lunch bell rang and they had to get to class.

"Thanks for sitting with me, Kurt," Mercedes said, walking with him to their next shared class, History. "I don't really have a lot of friends here."

XX

Finn had a pretty good first couple of classes. He hung out with the kids he'd met in football camp over the summer, including his girlfriend, Quinn. He'd gotten to know her, as well as the other football players and cheerleaders, over summer. She was super hot, and was convinced that she, the head cheerleader and captain of the celibacy club, and he, the quarterback, would be the 'it' couple at McKinley, and Finn had to admit, that sounded pretty cool. He had fun joking around and poking fun at other kids with Puck, but kept an eye on his brother. He got up to follow Kurt when he started walking away with Brittany, but Kurt assured him he was fine.

"What's with the homo?" Puck asked. Finn almost said something, but Quinn distracted him. He would have to watch out for his brother, but he had to admit, it would suck to have his reputation tarnished before it really began. Maybe he'd have to talk to Kurt about toning it down. Today wasn't bad, but some of his outfits were…interesting. And Finn couldn't protect him without screwing with what he'd worked hard to build over the last several months, especially if Kurt insisted on wearing what he liked to wear.

That night at home, Finn knocked on Kurt's door. Kurt was preparing his outfit for the next day, which included bright blue button down, one of Kurt's milder choices.

"Hey, Finn!" he said, enthusiastically.

"Hey, can we talk?" he asked.

"Come on in," Kurt invited. Finn sat at his desk chair.

"So I was hoping that…you know…Kurt, I want you to be safe at McKinley, I don't want to worry about you being bullied. I don't want to worry about what's going on when I can't see you. I think some of your clothing choices can be…a little…over the top," he explained boldly. Kurt's face had gone from happy, to confused, to guilty but understanding.

"I know they can, Finn. That's why I wore this today, and that's why I'm wearing this one tomorrow," Kurt explained. "I want to try to blend in. But I'm not sure I can keep this up forever. I'm not ashamed of who I am and I shouldn't have to hide," Kurt told his brother.

"That's the thing, Kurt. Even what you wore today, and that blue shirt…it draws attention to you. Maybe you should go for more…you know, t-shirts, sweat shirts, or even like, lighter colored button downs," Finn suggested.

"You want me to completely change the way I dress? The way I dress is part of who I am, Finn. I'm not about to change that," Kurt stated.

"I know…it's just that, Kurt, I can't always protect you. And the guys, they're really starting to accept me—"

"And you don't want me to ruin that for you," Kurt interrupted. "That's it, isn't it? You don't want to tarnish your precious reputation when your football buddies start bullying me, which is bound to happen. Well, Finn, don't worry. I don't expect you to protect me, or help me, or do anything for me. I don't expect you to talk to me at school, or even let anyone know we're brothers. Don't worry, I'll stay out of your hair. I wouldn't want to be a bother, but don't expect me to sit down and let others walk all over me, including you. I'll be who I am and be proud of it; that's something I learned from mom and dad and believe it or not, Finn, that's something _you_ taught me," Kurt ranted, storming to the door and opening it for Finn.

"Kurt, that's not what I meant at all. I love you, you know that. But you're right, I do like my friends and I want to keep them. I think it's a little bit selfish that I'm always thinking about you, and you never think about me," Finn pointed out.

"Never think about you? Never think about you? Seriously? Is that what you think? Finn, I've never asked you for a single thing. You've always volunteered. I thought you did it because you cared about me. Why do you think I was so careful about what I wore, and what I did at school last year? I knew that whatever I did would come back to bite you because of your buddies on the football team. I'm so done, Finn. Get out."

Not having anything else to say, Finn walked out of the room. He felt guilty, he hadn't meant to hurt his brother, but he couldn't help but feel a little relief that Kurt had released him from the job of protecting him. Finn still would, of course. He wouldn't let anything happen to his brother, but maybe there was a way to do that and still be popular.

Kurt went to bed crying that night, but refused to tell his mom what it was about. He was just so hurt that one of the few people he was sure about in life had turned against him. But he didn't care anymore. He'd be who he was, world be damned. As soon as he was out of high school, he'd be out of here. He would wear what he wanted.

The next day, he entered the kitchen in a black turtleneck, a blue Marc Jacobs jacket, and black pants. He gave Finn a daring glance. Finn glared at him, but then went back to his cereal, ignoring him. Hurt, but trying not to show it, Kurt fixed himself a bowl of yogurt and fruit and sat on the other side of the table. Burt noticed the tension immediately upon entering the room.

"Alright, what's going on?" he asked, going to the counter to fix Emily her toast.

"Nothing," Kurt said.

"Nothing," Finn agreed.

Burt said nothing. If the boys wanted to be in a foul mood, that was fine. He was used to it; they were teenagers after all. 21 month old Emily chose that moment to come running into the room. Kurt picked her up with a smile.

"Hey Emmy! Are you ready for school?" he asked.

"Kurt!" Emily shouted, grabbing a piece of his fruit and stuffing it in her mouth.

"Hey, you little thief," he accused, setting a giggling Emily on the floor, who went to take her turn with Finn. Finn picked her up with enthusiasm, and shared a bit of his cereal with her before Burt put her in her chair with her toast.

Carole came rushing through in her scrubs.

"We're running late, you boys ready?" she asked. They nodded. She was going to drop them off on her way to work, but they would arrive a half hour early. They followed her out the door, not speaking a single word on the way to school. Finn immediately joined his friends, and Kurt started heading toward a picnic table on the other side of the parking lot, taking out a book to read. Ten minutes later, he headed into the school. He was stopped by the football guys on the way.

"Hey, it's the homo we saw yesterday! Hey Homo," the one with the Mohawk said. Kurt knew what was about to happen. He'd been through it at his old school; they were standing next to a dumpster, what else would be about to happen? A teacher walked by, but just said a few kind words to the football guys and kept walking. Kurt looked at Finn, who was carefully avoiding his eyes. Was he really going to allow this to happen? He'd been more furious then Kurt with the guys who did this last year! The kid with the Mohawk grabbed his arm.

For his part, Finn didn't know what to do. This wouldn't hurt Kurt physically, he knew. And Kurt had been really good about not panicking lately. He could either stop this, and be ridiculed for it, or allow it to happen, and have his brother angry with him. Now was his chance to make a choice that would determine how he would spend the remainder of his high school career.

In the midst of his deciding, Kurt yelled out "Wait! This is a Marc Jacobs latest edition!"

"Wait—" Finn interrupted, intending to stop it from happening. Instead, Kurt took off his jacket and handed it to Finn with a hateful glare. And Finn hated himself when he said "OK," and allowed his friends to throw his brother in the dumpster. He hung around after they left and helped Kurt out of the dumpster. Kurt put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath. This was not a good time for a panic attack; he didn't want to accept Finn's help but if he had a panic attack he'd have no choice. He couldn't get his breathing under control, and Finn had to help him sit down. He went in Kurt's bag for his anxiety pills and inhaler and grabbed Kurt's water bottle, opening it for his brother. Kurt huffed into the inhaler, took the pills and sipped the water, and was able to get himself under control fairly quickly. Finn helped him brush himself off, then handed him his jacket.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Not sorry enough to do anything, huh? Sorry doesn't mean a whole lot, Finn," Kurt said, storming off. He met up with Mercedes at the front doors.

XX

"What's wrong?" Mercedes asked, looking at Kurt's furious face as he stormed up to the school.

"Dumb brothers," Kurt snapped. He was more pissed then sad or upset. He was furious at Finn. He kind of expected the bullying to happen, but he always expected Finn to be on his side. He never, ever expected Finn to actually participate.

"Don't I know it, white boy," Mercedes sassed. "I have two of them."

Kurt linked arms with her and tried to calm down. He glared back at Finn as he walked in the school, but he was kissing Quinn.

The rest of the school day went alright. Kurt kept to himself, talked only to Mercedes. At lunch, they saw sign-ups for glee club on the bulletin board.

"Do you sing?" he asked her.

"Are you kidding? I'm the next Whitney Houston," she said, signing her name on the line. Kurt followed suit, figuring Throat Explosion was pretty much his savior last year. He wanted to be involved in glee if the school had a club.

Kurt went straight to the other side of the cafeteria with Mercedes, not even bothering to try with Finn or the rest at the table. Five minutes later, Brittany joined them.

"You didn't look at me, Kurt, did I do something wrong?" she asked as she sat down.

"No, Brit, sorry, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at my dumb brother," he said, giving her a small hug.

"What'd he do?" she asked. Kurt hesitated. He didn't want to rat his brother out, but it was impossible to lie to Brit. And he wasn't sure he wanted to talk about it in front of Mercedes.

"Nothing, Brit. It's just…you know, the stuff I got at Briggs," he said, trying to blow it off.

Brittany, as naive as she was, had spent many years with Kurt learning how to read them. And she knew when something was bothering her best friend.

"What did they do to you, Kurt?" she asked, looking at him seriously.

"Nothing…nothing I wasn't expecting. I just wasn't expecting Finn to be a part of it, you know?" he asked, feeling the tears build in his eyes. He quickly tried to wipe them discretely.

"Why would he do that?" she asked, looking back toward Finn, who was eyeing her.

"He's just…so worried about his reputation. And I don't exactly make things easy for him. He's tired of protecting me, and they are his friends," Kurt said, trying to protect him.

"Yeah, and you're his brother. You've been through too much crap in your life to take that from him," she said, angrily. "What did they do, Kurt?"

"Dumpster," Kurt said quietly. Brittany stood up. "Brit, where are you going?"

"To talk to your 'brother,'" she responded.

"Brittany, wait. Don't," he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her back down. "Just let it go, he doesn't want his reputation tarnished, and as angry as I am at him, I get that," Kurt told her. "I've ruined enough for him."

"Kurt I may not be super smart like you, but I know how to be a good friend. And I won't let anyone hurt you. And that includes your own brother," she told him seriously. Kurt had never seen his carefree, happy go lucky best friend so serious.

Mercedes was openly staring at the two of them, jaw slightly open.

"Brittany, you're an amazing friend and I couldn't ask for a better one," Kurt assured her. "But Finn has a right to pick his own friends, and find his own way. This is the path he's choosing," he insisted.

Brittany stayed in her seat, unhappy but accepting of Kurt's decision.

"I'm sticking with you in the mornings from now on, though. I won't let them do it, and they'll respect me," she declared. Kurt just nodded. He couldn't dissuade her from that, and he didn't really want to.

After lunch, Brittany had to go to her class, while Kurt and Mercedes turned in the other direction. Kurt was embarrassed by what Mercedes overheard, but he needn't have been.

"Brittany is awesome," Mercedes commented. "I never would have guessed it from a cheerleader, and I still think she shouldn't be friends with those bozos, but I like her. And I don't think I have to know who your brother is to dislike him. He seriously threw you in a dumpster?"

"No, he didn't. He just watched. And he's not a bad guy," Kurt promised her. "He's saved me more times than I can count. I guess he's just sick of it."

That night, Kurt and Finn had a blow out to end all blow outs.

"I expected it from them Finn," Kurt yelled down the hallway from his room. "I never expected you to help, even after the conversation last night, I still thought you were better than them, I won't make that mistake again!"

"Well Mr. Perfect, maybe if you didn't go around flaunting yourself in front of them, you wouldn't be such a target! I mean seriously Kurt, you just fall into their arms so they can throw you in a dumpster. Who even does that?" Finn yelled back.

"So what, I'm supposed to run so your little friends can follow me and make it worse? You know what though, Finn, I'm not even mad at them. I hate them, but I'm not mad at them, because I didn't expect any different from a big bunch of Neanderthals with brains the size of a teaspoon. But I'm ashamed of you, Finn. I never expected you to be like that, no matter if it was me or anybody else, I thought you knew what the consequences of that kind of bullying could be. I've overcome too much to let it bring me down, even if it comes from you. And I won't hide myself in the back corner at school just so you can be in the spotlight and have your popularity."

Finn, feeling ashamed and guilty until Kurt's last sentence, yelled back, "I can't help you if you flaunt yourself Kurt. I didn't help them, I helped _you_. I helped you with your panic attack, I saved your jacket, I pulled you out. I didn't do it! You expect me to _stop it_ every time someone tries to touch you and that's not fair! I love you, you're my brother, but I have a right to my own life!"

"What is going on here?" Burt yelled, thundering up the stairs. Emily, who had been sleeping, was awake at this point and Carole pushed past them to get to her.

"Nothing dad, sorry we woke her," Kurt says turning to go back into his room.

"Not so fast. You were yelling so loudly I couldn't help but hear what you were saying. What did you do, Finn?" He asked, turning to his taller son. Kurt looked down guiltily. He was angry, he was pissed, but it had never been his intention to rat Finn out to his parents. Finn was right, he had a right to his own life, and Kurt didn't have to be happy about it, but he wasn't about to go running to his parents. He was usually smarter about what was said in front of them.

Finn was silent.

"Kurt?"

Silence.

"Well, I think I have a pretty good idea, from what I heard from all the shouting. I want both of you to go downstairs so we can let your sister get some sleep," he directed. He turned back down the stairs, and the boys followed suit.

"Did the bullying start up already, Kurt?" he asked, softly.

"It's…it's not that bad, dad. I'm fine, and it won't get like last time, I promise," he answered.

"That's not a promise you can make, Kurt. You don't have control over that," Burt told him. "Maybe public school was a mistake…"

No! Dad," Kurt interrupted, "I want to keep going there. If it gets bad I promise I'll let you know. This isn't anything I can't handle. And it's only been two days and I've already made a friend! _And_ the Spanish teacher is starting up a glee club! I want to stay!" Kurt insisted.

"Under the condition that you _promise_ to keep me honestly updated, Kurt, we will revisit this at a later date. But there's no hiding this this time. You need to be honest with me, got it?" he asked, sternly.

"Yes sir, I promise," Kurt responded. He knew it wasn't a promise he could technically keep, but he could find a way to tell his father the truth while avoiding the whole truth.

"And you," he said, turning to Finn. "Did I hear that correctly? Were you actually a part of the bullying today?"

"No!" Finn protested, "Not technically!"

"Well then, how? Tell me exactly what happened," Burt ordered.

"I…I…I wasn't actually a part of it. I just…didn't stop them. And I took Kurt's coat, _and_ I helped him with his panic attack!" Finn stated.

"You had a panic attack?" Burt asked, glancing at Kurt.

"Not a real one! Just a minor one, dad, I promise, I got it under control quick," Kurt told his dad.

"Because I helped you," Finn added.

"No…you were part of the reason I had it in the first place, Finn. Don't pretend your some sort of hero!"

"What happened? What did they do?" Burt asked, pointedly.

"Dumpster toss," Finn said. "But I took his coat, so it didn't get dirty…I know how important that stuff is to him, and I didn't want it to get ruined. And Kurt, he totally just let them do it. Like, he didn't even care!"

"God Finn! Are you stupid or something? Of course I care, I just didn't want to make it worse…for me _or_ for you. Protesting wouldn't have done any good," Kurt spat back.

"Dumpster toss? You mean, they tossed you in a dumpster?" Burt demanded. Kurt nodded.

"And you helped with this?" Burt demanded.

"No! I told you, I—"

"I don't care, Finn! You stood by and watched as your friends threw your brother in a dumpster!" Burt interrupted.

"Dad, it's really not as bad as that…I mean I don't like it but at Briggs they only did it when the dumpster was full, so I didn't hurt myself," Kurt explained.

"You have no idea what's in the garbage, Kurt…it's garbage! There could be broken glass or God knows what that they throw you on top of, but it's more than that. After what happened in April, you stood by and watched it start all over again. And they did it to your own brother, in front of you, what does that say about your friends?"

"Well, they don't actually know he's my brother," Finn stated.

"Enough with the excuses, Finn. What is going on in your head, honestly?"

Finn was silent.

"Kurt, why don't you go up to your room, I'll be up to talk to you in a bit," Burt prompted. Kurt nodded and headed upstairs.

"Now, talk to me, Finn."

"Honestly? I'm tired of it always being all about Kurt. I made friends with all of them over the summer. They're actually really good guys, aside from the whole bullying thing…"

"The whole bullying things make them not so great guys, Finn, but go on," Burt interrupted.

"Well…it's just that…I know it's not really his fault, he's had a rough life, and he's my brother, I love him…but it was tough, in 6th grade, always having to look out for him—"

"That didn't last long, he was pulled out pretty early in the year," Burt pointed out, "but go on…"

"Well yeah, but before that in 5th grade, too. I mean, there it wasn't so bad. Because nobody really teased him, and they all respected me so it was easier. But then after 6th grade he went to Bajar, and we were both happy, and we both got to kind of…live our own lives. And last year, it really sucked dad. I spent the entire year watching out for Kurt, making sure Kurt was safe, Kurt was happy, nobody was picking on Kurt. Everybody knew me as Kurt's brother, because that's what my job was. But McKinley was a new start for both of us…you know? I made a bunch of friends this summer at football camp, and I'm dating the head cheerleader and one of the most popular girls in school. I'm quarterback of the football team, dad, and Kurt doesn't care about that at all. Kurt doesn't care that him wearing those…_outfits…_.he wears makes him a target for bullying, and he doesn't care that it puts me in a position of either giving up my status or helping him."

Burt was silent for a few moments after Finn's tirade before speaking again.

"I think I understand, Finn. But that doesn't make it OK. You chose your status over your brother. After everything that's happened to him, you just sent the message that it's OK if it happens all over again. Is that really what you think?"

Finn shook his head, eyes welling up with tears.

"I agree that sometimes Kurt's outfits make him a target, but Finn, look at it from his perspective. The way he dresses is one of the only things he has control over. It's part of what makes him who he is, and I can't tell him to dress in a way that makes your life easier, anymore then I can tell you that you have to quit the football team because it makes his life easier. You're asking him to give up something that means the world to him, and that's not OK. I can't say that you have to follow him around, protecting him…but Finn, to stand by and watch and _give your permission_ for your friends to throw him in a dumpster, I can't even imagine you _doing _that. Your brother has always meant more to you then that."

"I didn't…I was going to stop them. I told them to wait. And then Kurt took off his jacket and handed it to me…and I just thought, whatever I choose now is how I'll spend high school, you know? It just came out."

"You chose your status over your brother," Burt agreed.

"No, dad, I…"

"I would never make you leave the football team because it made Kurt uncomfortable. But if there is one thing I won't have in my house, it's a bully Finn. You've seen the damage bullying does, and I won't have you turning into one. And if those boys affect your character and who you are as a person that drastically, if I hear about something like this happening again, there will be some serious consequences. Clear?"

Finn nodded.

"It's time for bed, Finn. Think about your choices tonight, and think about your brother. I'm going to make sure he's OK," Burt said, standing up. "I love you, Finn, more than anything. But I'm disappointed in your decision today." Burt clapped Finn on the back before making his way upstairs. Finn cried quietly for a few minutes, before making his way up to his room. He was a jerk, he knew he was. And he knew his actions were wrong, but he still hated that he had to choose between being popular and watching out for Kurt. He wasn't sure how he could have both.

XX

Kurt went up to his room when his father dismissed him. He changed into his pajamas, but didn't feel much like doing his skin care routine. He washed his face and did a quick lotion, then lay down on his bed and let the tears come. He got it. He knew why Finn had turned on him, he knew he didn't make Finn's life any easier, but he never expected it. He wondered if it was selfish to keep being so persistent on being who he wanted to be at school, without regard to Finn's feelings about it. But it felt just as wrong to hide himself so that Finn could have his popularity. Yet, he wondered if that's what he should do. Finn had, after all, given up so much for him. Was it his turn to give something up for his brother?

It wasn't long before he felt pressure on the bed, and looked up to see his mom gently rubbing his back. He curled into her and continued to cry. She didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. This was how Burt found them a few minutes later, once Kurt had pretty much cried himself out and had managed to calm himself down.

"You OK, bud?" he asked, sitting at the foot of his son's bed. Kurt nodded.

"I know why he did it," he said, once he was able to. "That's the problem. I know why he did it. And maybe he's right. Maybe I should change, he's done so much for me. Maybe it's time I make the selfless decision for once."

"Kurt, nobody in this family wants you to change," Burt said firmly. "And that includes Finn. Everything he's ever done for you, he's done out of his own free will, without pressure from me or mom. That's the person he is. He loves deeply, and he will fight hard for people he loves. And you know, Kurt, that if he thought you were in any real danger he'd be there in a second, without a thought to the consequences."

Kurt nodded. He did know that. He knew Finn would never let anything truly bad happen to him if he could help it, no matter how big of a jerk he was being.

"Finn's just…going through something right now. You both have to figure out how to do this high school thing, and while I want you two to have a good relationship as brothers, that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be best friends at school. You do your glee club, let him do his football thing. That doesn't mean he ever gets to be a part of bullying you or anybody else, and I think he knows that. I think Finn is feeling pretty ashamed of his actions today, and I don't think it'll happen again. If it does, there will be some serious consequences, and he knows it. I don't expect him to follow you around all day, I want you to be safe but part of that involves you being honest with me. Part of the way you can make your brother's life easier is by telling me and mom what's going on, alright?"

Kurt agreed, and his parents tucked him in, bidding him goodnight.

The next morning, Finn was already gone by the time Kurt made it downstairs.

"He said he promised Quinn he'd walk with her," his mom explained. Kurt nodded, trying not to show how upset it made him. He missed his brother, though it had only been yesterday morning that they were talking to each other. Kurt wore an outfit that, he hoped, would blend in more, though wasn't completely out of character, a simple blue button down with dark wash jeans. His mom gave him a ride on her way to work. As he made his way past the corner of the school where the dumpsters lay, he was herded in by a few of the football guys. Not the entire flock, as there had been yesterday and, Kurt was sure to notice, Finn wasn't among them. He had just turned his satchel over to one of the guys so it wouldn't get dirty when someone stopped it.

"Hey!" She shouted, running over. Brittany grabbed Kurt's satchel out of the boy's hand, grabbed Kurt's arm and pulled him away from the boys, who were too shocked to stop her. She didn't say anything to them at all, just marched Kurt over to the other side of the parking lot, where Mercedes was waiting. Kurt just stared at her for a minute. He thought she was serious yesterday, but this…he'd never seen her this intense.

"Brit…what's gotten into you?" he asked.

"You're way too special to let anything happen to. You're a unicorn, and I'm never going to let them touch you," she responded.

Kurt didn't see much of Finn that day, and they didn't speak much in the few classes they shared. He sat with Mercedes and Brittany at lunch, and though he got some looks from the football players, they didn't say anything. He wondered if they'd let him get away with being saved today, or if they'd be planning something else.

That evening, Finn had football practice and Brittany had cheerleading, so Kurt invited Mercedes to his house to work on homework and their audition for Glee the next day. His parents weren't home when he got there, so he let them in and made the two of them a snack before they sat down to their math homework. Carole and Emily arrived home just before they finished.

"Hi honey!" she said, leaning over to kiss the top of his head, and plopping his sister on his lap. "You unload her while I unload the groceries, deal?" she asked. Kurt laughed, turning Emily around in his lap and kissing her on the nose. He helped her out of her little fall jacket and took her shoes off.

"Shoe, Kurt!" she said, holding up her pink sparkly shoe. The kid had about 15 pairs of shoes at the tender age of 21 months, and she loved every single one. Kurt may have had a small part to play in that.

"I see! Are these new?" He asked.

"Shoe sparkle! Mama buy!"

"Very pretty, Em," he said. "I love it."

"She picked them out herself," Carole told him. "You've created a monster, Kurt. I had to make a few returns before the grocery store, but as soon as we entered the store she started demanding shoes, and she wouldn't calm down until I let her pick a pair out. And you noticed she picked out the sparkliest pair? I think she knows how much her brother loves sparkles, all she said on the way to the counter was 'Kurt like,' and 'Sparkles!'"

Kurt laughed out loud. "She takes after big brother!" he cooed at her. "You picked out very nice shoes, Emily. I love them!" he told her, squeezing her tight. "Mercedes, meet my mom, Carole Hummel, and my little sister Emily."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mercedes!" Carole said, enthusiastically.

"Hi Mrs. Hummel. I hope it's not a problem I'm here…" she said.

"Oh please, you're welcome over any time," Carole responded. "Are you staying for dinner? It's pot roast," she offered.

"Oh, well I'll have to call my parents…"

"Well you do that, we'd love to have you," Carole insisted.

_Please review! It makes my day! Thank you, lovely readers!_

_Go Pack Go!_


	15. Chapter 15

_I realize how poorly I've done with disclaimers. So, I don't own anyone you recognize. _

Finn spent the day feeling horribly guilty about his behavior toward Kurt, but he couldn't bring himself to address his brother. He _had_ tried to keep an eye out for him this morning. He was watching for him, and had planned on stopping another attempt at a dumpster toss, but Quinn had distracted him with her tongue. And it…_did things_ to him. He really hoped his brother hadn't been tossed that day, because he missed it if it did happen, but Kurt _seemed _fine.

Finn arrived home before dinner. He could hear someone belting out Aretha Franklin from upstairs, and figured Kurt's new friend must be over…or he had the music up too loud. She was really good, if it was his friend.

"How was school?" Dad asked as he set the table.

"Fine," Finn responded, still unsure of where he stood with his dad after last night.

"How was practice?" Burt asked, conversationally. He didn't _seem _like he was still angry.

"Uh, yeah, it was fine.

"Got any homework?" Burt continued, getting the idea that Finn wasn't up for conversation.

"Yeah, I'll do it after dinner," he said.

Burt walked to the bottom of the staircase, shouting up it, "Kurt! Mercedes! Dinner!" A moment later his brother and his brother's friend came running downstairs. Kurt froze at the sight of Finn, but then he continued to the table, pointedly ignoring him. Mercedes sat next to him, and Finn took his place on the other side of the table.

"So how's your audition song coming along?" Carole asked Kurt and Mercedes.

"Great!" Kurt responded enthusiastically. "Mercedes has a killer voice!"

"We heard," Burt agreed. "You have a beautiful voice, Mercedes." Mercedes beamed. Burt and Carole went back into the kitchen to grab more food to bring to the dining room.

"What are you auditioning for?" Finn asked, eyeing Kurt.

"Glee club," he answered, shortly. "But don't worry, we'll stay out of your way as much as possible. I won't even complain if you throw slushies at us."

"Kurt, that's not fair," Finn protested. "You know I'd never do that, I'm really sorry—"

"Oh my gosh Mercedes! I was at the mall in Bellefontaine last week, and I saw this _gorgeous _new bag that would be absolutely _perfect_ for you," Kurt said, changing the subject away from Finn, as Burt and Carole re-entered the dining room.

XX

The next day, Kurt and Finn were dropped off together.

"You better hurry along to your buddies, I wouldn't want you to be seen with me," Kurt said, turning in the opposite direction. He wasn't going past the dumpsters today, he'd take the long way around.

"Kurt—" Finn started. Kurt paused, waiting for Finn to speak. Finn paused a moment too long, and Kurt saw Mercedes walk passed, so ran to catch up with her. Kurt avoided the football guys that morning, along with his morning dumpster toss. After homeroom, however, the kid with the Mohawk shoved him into a locker as he was passing.

"Hey homo, we missed you this morning. You don't have your little girlfriend here to help you out this time, and you have a date with the dumpster," he informed Kurt.

"You do realize how oxymoronic that statement is, right?" was all Kurt could think to say.

"Did you just call me a moron, homo?" the kid asked. Well, Kurt didn't…but he couldn't deny that the kid _was_ a bit of a moron. He kept his mouth shut, though. No use making it worse than it already was. He'd just accept what was coming to him, it would make it easier.

"Hey, c'mon Puck, leave him alone," Finn said, pushing past.

"Seriously Hummel? Your siding with homo?" Puck asked, turning to his friend. "We're bros!"

"He hasn't done anything to you, Puck. Just leave him alone," Finn insisted, a little stronger.

"He's sprinkling his fairy dust all over the place," Puck replied.

"I'm pretty sure he's just going to class and avoiding you," Finn pointed out. "Just let him be, Puck, seriously."

"You going fairy on me, bro?" Puck asked, turning to him, trying to intimidate.

"No. But Kurt's been my brother way longer then you've been my 'bro,' and I'm not going to stand by and watch you do it again," Finn stated, standing his ground.

"Brother?" Puck laughed. "Whatever dude." And they walked off.

"Kurt," Finn said, turning to his brother. "I'm sorry about the other day. I was wrong, and it won't happen again. Can we be friends—"

Finn cut himself off. Kurt was white as a ghost, shrinking into the wall. A flashback. Finn wasn't sure what to do—he didn't want to prompt Kurt into a full blown meltdown, which he knew could happen if he tried to approach his brother. But allowing him to stay here, in the middle of a crowded hallway, was even more risky. Thinking quickly, he grabbed Kurt and pulled him into the nearest classroom, probably a bit to roughly. The classroom was occupied only by the English teacher, Mrs. Stone, who quickly stood up at the disruption.

"Don't you dare pull a fight into this classroom!" she said.

Kurt backhanded Finn hard in the face, and blood poured from his nostrils. Mrs. Stone ran forward, but Finn held his arm in front of her.

"Don't get any closer," he warned her. "Seriously, he doesn't know you enough, I'm the only one here that can handle this."

Mrs. Stone backed away, and wrote a quick note to tape outside the door, asking the students to go to the library and study, and Finn got in front of Kurt, so he was clearly in his vision. It didn't take Kurt long to calm down once he was alone in the room, only around 10 minutes, and Finn quickly handed him his anxiety medication and inhaler. It was another 20 minutes before Kurt was ready to leave the room, and Mrs. Stone advised them both to remain in her classroom for the remainder of the class period. She agreed to keep the flashback private, with the exception of letting Kurt's parents know.

"Seriously Kurt, I'm so freaking sorry for the way I treated you. I'm sorry, and it won't happen again," Finn promised.

"It's OK, Finn. I forgive you, if you forgive me for the bloody nose…I'm sorry about that," he said, looking guiltily at his brother.

XX

The rest of Kurt's day progressed incident free.

Kurt and Mercedes went to auditions after a quick lunch that day. Mercedes killed R.E.S.P.E.C.T, and Kurt thought he did a pretty good job of Mr. Cellophane, if he did say so himself. They listened to the other auditions. Tina had a good voice, but a bad stutter. Kurt felt bad for her, and decided he'd try to befriend her. Artie, the kid in the wheelchair, also had a good voice. Rachel had an amazing voice, but Mercedes made a gagging noise at the sight of her. Mercedes didn't like her much.

They had their first glee practice that day after school, where Mr. Shuester had them singing "Rock the Boat." Though Kurt had fun singing and dancing again, he knew they looked utterly ridiculous. He got a bad case of the giggles when Rachel started going off on Mr. Shuester, and Mercedes quickly joined in. Rachel stormed out, and Mr. Shuester glared at Mercedes and Kurt, who quickly calmed themselves. Kurt decided to walk to the mall with Mercedes, and the two of them convinced Tina to join them. Kurt called his mom, who agreed, and said she'd pick them all up at 7.

XX

Finn hadn't slept much the night before. He was up all night, thinking about Kurt and how hurt he'd been. He couldn't justify his actions as well as he'd been able to before. He still felt like he deserved to have his own year, but in the end Kurt was his brother, and the pain and guilt he'd been feeling over the past few days had to be worse than anything his football friends could put him through. He hoped that they were decent enough friends that they would come around, but his parents had always taught him that friends may come and go, but family lasted forever. Kurt was always going to be his brother, and he wouldn't have it any other way. So he'd made the decision that night that he was going to start being Kurt's brother again.

But the next morning, he could practically taste the tension between him and Kurt. Kurt had come downstairs too late for Finn to say anything, and he didn't really seem to be in the 'chatty' mood. After they were dropped off, Kurt made a comment about him getting to his football friends. He tried to apologize then, but he couldn't get the words out. Then Mercedes walked by, and Kurt was off. He _did _go and join his football buddies, then, knowing that at least if they were going to do something to Kurt, he would at least be there to stop it this time. He really did feel horrible that it had been Brittany, and not him, that stopped it yesterday. He had been too involved with Quinn, but Brittany had let him have an earful when she caught him off guard after school the day before.

The opportunity came after homeroom, when he walked by as Puck was harassing Kurt in the hallway.

"C'mon, Puck, leave him alone," Finn interrupted. When he finally turned toward Kurt and noticed that shit was going to hit the fan if they stayed in that hallway any longer, and he acted quickly.

"So the homo's really your brother?" Puck asked as he sat down across from Finn at their lunch table.

"Don't call him that," Finn responded. "And yeah, he's my brother."

"Dude, you totally helped us dumpster toss him the other day," Puck retaliated.

"You did what?" Quinn asked, upon hearing the conversation. "You helped them dumpster toss your brother?" Finn blushed. "Who is your brother?" Finn had told her he had a brother, but the two had never met, at least not in the 'this is my brother' context.

"Over there…with Brittany," he told her. She turned around and found the boy in question.

"He's your brother?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow. "He's in three of my classes…you guys have to be around the same age," she commented.

"I'm three months older," Finn told her.

"Is he like…your step brother?" she asked.

"No. Adopted brother," Finn explained.

"You're adopted?"

Finn hesitated. He didn't want to throw any more logs on the fire in front of Puck, so he decided not to answer the question fully.

"By my dad, yeah. But it doesn't matter. He's my brother," Finn responded.

"So…why did you help them dumpster toss him?" Quinn asked.

"I didn't really _help_ them, but for the record, dude, you're totally never going to do that again. Leave my brother alone, alright?"

"Whatever dude," Puck responded, blowing it off. Finn didn't respond, he'd be there when it did happen, and that's all he could really do.

"So do you want to hang out after practice?" he asked, trying to change the subject. It worked; neither Puck nor Quinn mentioned Kurt again, though Finn wasn't sure what that meant. He hoped they would leave Kurt alone, but he wasn't _that_ naïve.

"Christ Crusaders at my house tonight, remember?" Quinn asked. Finn almost groaned. _Almost._

"Oh, of course! I'll be there!" he said. His family wasn't religious. His parents had taken him to church a few times when things were really bad with Kurt a few years prior, but Burt ultimately concluded that it was kind of pointless. Carole took him back a few more times before she got too busy. His parents always said he was perfectly free to believe in whatever he wanted, but they had no interest in religion. When he was 11 and Sam wanted him to come to church camp with him, his parents signed him up, and Finn had a great time, but never did anything 'churchy' after that. When he started dating Quinn, his parents had no problem with him joining her some Sundays for church, or doing 'Christ Crusaders' stuff with her. And he was pretty sure they actually _liked_ that he was doing celibacy club with her this year. But through all of that, Finn thought that maybe there was a God, but he really he just wanted to sleep with Quinn and thought he had to do that stuff to be with her. Christ Crusaders was kind of fun. They played games, but he thought the bible study stuff was boring, especially when they prayed. He usually just closed his eyes and imagined himself in bed with Quinn when they did that, but sometimes he had to excuse himself to the bathroom to take care of his problem afterward.

Quinn's parents were nice enough, and they approved of Finn. They thought he was this nice, Christian boy and Finn was fine with letting them. Quinn was from a different world then he grew up in. She had to go to this Debutante ball soon, and she'd convinced him to join her. He had to wear a _tux._ His parents were renting one from this fancy store at the mall, but told him he'd have to be really careful about what he ate and did in it, because they had to return it in good condition.

"Finn—"Quinn said, pulling him out of his thoughts, "the bell just rang, come on!"

Finn had forgotten to do his math homework last night, and his math teacher made him come in after school to complete a penalty assignment, causing Finn to be late for football practice. Coach Tanaka wasn't happy with him, and made him remain 15 minutes after practice to run laps. So by the time Finn got in the locker room, he was the only one there. He was cool with that though, he kind of liked the solitude.

After the long day, he relaxed into his hot shower, and started singing loudly. He really did love singing; it was fun, it relaxed him. He loved hanging out with Kurt and singing along to showtunes, though he'd never admit this to his friends. After his shower, he dressed and started heading through the school to head home. They only lived about a mile away, and while Finn was cool with walking home, he looked forward to his 16th birthday when he could start driving.

"Finn Hummel," he turned and saw Mr. Shuester, his Spanish teacher, standing outside of his classroom. "With me," he said sternly. Finn followed him. It sounded like he was in trouble, but he had no idea what it could be about, he hadn't _done_ anything, and he thought he'd done all of his Spanish homework. Pot, that was the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You wanna tell me how long you've had a drug problem?" he asked, sliding a packet of marijuana toward Finn. Finn was beyond confused. How could he have been connected with _drugs_?

"I don't even know who the chronic lady is!" he tried to explain. And why had nobody told him about the mandatory locker checks? Not that it mattered—he didn't do drugs! His parents would kill him! He would pee in a cup if he had to, to prove it wasn't his! But Mr. Shue wouldn't hear it. He said it wouldn't matter, that possession was 8/10ths of the law…whatever that meant. He didn't do drugs…and now he'd be kicked out of school and lose his football scholarship? He didn't even know he _had_ a football scholarship! His parents paid for his football stuff—and he was only a Sophomore…he wasn't even thinking about college yet! He could not go to prison…and even more important, his parents could _not_ find out about this. He was freaking out…he was having trouble breathing. Is this what Kurt felt like when a panic attack was coming on?

Mr. Shue seemed understanding, even though he didn't believe Finn. But he had this way of making Finn feel guilty about doing something that he hadn't even done. Still, what he said did get to Finn. He was good at pretending to be way more confident than he was, but he struggled a lot. Especially when it came to balancing his responsibility to his family and brother with his responsibility to himself. He was just a kid, and he was naïve and dumb about a lot of things, but he thought he knew a lot more than other kids did too. Everything his parents went through with Kurt and with him as they were growing up, made Finn want to prove to them that everything they'd done for their boys was worth it. He wanted to be a man they could be proud of. They could _not_ find out that he'd been using marijuana—they'd be so disappointed. Even if he hadn't _actually_ been using marijuana. And 6 weeks of detention? They'd definitely find out, and he'd be kicked off the football team. It sounded like he really didn't have any choice but glee.

XX

"KURT!" Finn yelled, slamming the door as he arrived home.

"Finn!" Carole scolded, "he's not home right now. And you're 45 minutes late. Where were you?"

"Sorry! I had to stay after practice," he said.

"And you didn't call, why?" she demanded.

"Um…I forgot? I'm sorry mom," he apologized.

"It's your responsibility to remember to call when you're going to be late, Finn," she scolded. "Don't let it happen again. Homework done?"

"No ma'am, it won't. I'll get on it now." Finn promised. He really, _really_ just wanted to talk to Kurt right now…and he was super thankful that he'd made up with him at school. Now he could actually _talk _to his brother about this mess he seemed to have gotten himself into. Kurt always had good advice. "When is Kurt coming home?" he asked.

"He's at the mall with some of his new friends. I'm picking them up at 7, we'll have dinner then. Dad's working late tonight. Are you and Kurt still fighting?"

"No, mom, I apologized to him today…and I meant it. I _was_ kind of a jerk," he said sincerely. He guessed Mrs. Stone hadn't called his parents about the flashback yet, and he didn't want to tell without Kurt's knowledge.

"I'm glad you see what's important," Carole said, pulling him in for a hug. "You're a good boy, Finn, and I've always been proud of you. I knew you would come around sooner or later. And you're feelings aren't wrong, you do deserve to have your own year, and your own life. Dad and I will always support you in that. It's the bullying we won't stand for."

"I know, mom. I won't do it again," he repeated. He loved his parents, but he'd heard all this before.

"Alright then, I won't bring it up again," she promised. "Let me know if you need help with your homework, and I'd like you to watch Emily for a few minutes while I go pick up Kurt and his friends, alright?"

"Sure mom," he agreed, going to the kitchen table and laying out his homework.

20 minutes later, his mom left and he played on the floor with his sister until Kurt got home. As soon as they got home, though, they had to eat. Then Carole reminded Finn it was his turn to do the dishes. By the time Finn was done, Burt had gotten home. Mrs. Stone had, apparently, called him and not mom.

"Kurt," he said when he got in. "I hear you had a flashback at school today."

"You what? Why didn't you tell me?" Carole interjected.

"Dude, you told?" Kurt asked, looking at Finn.

"No, he didn't. Your English teacher called me. What happened?" Burt asked.

"Some kids were giving me a hard time. They didn't even do anything, and it was stupid that it gave me a flashback when it didn't happen at the dumpsters," Kurt responded, annoyed. "It wasn't even that bad. Finn got me out of there fast and it was over in like 10 minutes."

"And why weren't we called immediately?" Burt asked.

"You would have been, if it went on any longer. It was over fast though, dad, I promise," Finn assured him.

"And if Mrs. Stone hadn't called me, would you have? You hadn't told your mother before I got home…" Burt pressed on.

"I don't know…" Kurt mumbled.

"You promised not to keep this kind of thing a secret from us, Kurt, didn't you?" Carole asked him. Kurt nodded.

"Never again. We have to be able to trust you, Kurt, you need to tell us when this kind of thing happens, got it?" Burt asked, sternly. Kurt nodded.

"And you're going to talk to Dr. Wheeler about this in therapy tomorrow," Carole ordered.

"Yes, mom," Kurt agreed.

Burt asked Finn to keep him company at the table while he ate. They talked about football and the Buckeyes, and Finn got so involved in the conversation he forgot he'd meant to talk to Kurt. He watched Deadliest Catch with his dad, and by the time he got upstairs Kurt had gone to bed. The next day, Kurt was out the door early, saying he wanted to "run lines" with Mercedes and Tina before school. Finn wasn't sure if Kurt had actually forgiven him, but he tried not to wonder if his brother was ignoring him. He didn't see Kurt much that evening because Kurt and his mom had gone to Bellefontaine for Kurt's therapy appointment, followed by dinner, and hadn't gotten home until almost 8, then Kurt shut himself in his room to do homework.

XX

On Friday, Finn went to after school rehearsal. Mr. Shue had explained that glee practice would take place during free period three days a week, as it counted as an Arts program. The band and orchestra kids rehearsed on Tuesdays and Thursdays during free period; Glee was on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays so the kids could do both if they wanted; this kept them free for after school activities like football. The new schedule didn't start until the next week, however, so for this week rehearsals were after school.

"Finn? What are you doing here?" Kurt asked. "I'm really OK, I don't need you to look out for me like this."

"I'm not…I mean, Mr. Shue said I'd get extra credit in Spanish if I joined, and I'm failing," Finn tried to explain.

"Finn, it's the first week of school. You can't be failing," Kurt pointed out.

"Oh, -"

"Alright guys, lets get started!"

Finn found himself actually kind of enjoying singing with the other kids. That Rachel girl though, she was intense. And scary. And kind of hot. She really freaked him out, though.

He was late to football practice, that day. He didn't show until halfway through practice, and coach lay into him pretty heavily. He made up some lie about his mom's prostate when Puck started asking questions, and then it was finally time to go home.

"So why are you really in glee?" Kurt demanded as soon as Finn walked in the door. "And don't give me any Spanish crap, you can't be failing already, Finn. And you're a good liar, but I'm pretty good at knowing when you're telling the truth."

"OK, Kurt. But you can't tell anyone," Finn made him promise.

"Mom went shopping. It's just me, you and the baby," he said, gesturing toward Emily who was dancing to Yo Gabba Gabba.

Finn told Kurt about the pot, and while Kurt freaked out on him initially, he believed Finn when he said he didn't do it.

"So who planted it in your locker?" he asked.

"No idea…" Finn responded.

"Do you think…do you think it could be Puck? Maybe he was angry at you for defending me," Kurt suggested.

Finn thought about it, but replied, "I don't think so. He seemed pretty normal to me today, and I kind of stuck with him all day to make sure he didn't bug you."

"Finn, I…you don't have to do that, I really do forgive you for everything you know," Kurt told him.

"But your my brother, and I should have remembered that the other day," Finn assured him. "Anyway, just…don't tell anyone about the pot, OK?"

"That's kind of…bullying, though, Finn. If someone's planting pot on you, they might do it again. And next time, Mr. Shue might not be able to help you," Kurt pointed out.

Finn insisted though, and Kurt agreed.

"You know," Kurt told him, "you really are good. We might actually have a chance with you on the team."

"Kurt…you're like, professionally trained! You went to an arts school!"

"Yeah, but I'm a countertenor. I can sing, but I can't do the male lead like you can," Kurt admitted.

XX

Monday was not a good day for Finn. He was assaulted by his football team with paintball guns because they'd found out that he joined the glee club, and that was why he missed the last practice. They'd managed to throw Kurt in the dumpster while Finn was in the restroom cleaning himself up, and then he got a week of detention for punching Puck, which would make him late for football all week. Then they found out during glee class, which had started up during rehearsal, that Mr. Shue was quitting. Finn decided that he'd quit glee club; Mr. Shue wasn't going to tell anyone about the pot, and this would make his life easier. Puck apologized for bullying Kurt, and promised to leave him alone if they could still be friends. Finn agreed, but then found out the guys locked Artie in the porta potty with the intention of flipping it, and expected Finn to join in. That was when Finn was ready to throw in the towel with trying to find out where he fit in. The guys didn't get it…it wasn't really even about Kurt, it was about bullying in general. He knew it wasn't going to just stop, but he wasn't going to be a part of it. He pulled Artie from the porta potty, and the two of them went back to the Auditorium, where the rest of the glee kids were trying to pick up where Mr. Shuester had left off. They would have to meet after school, but they could conceivably still run the glee club. Finn actually had an amazing time with the group, and had a lot of fun trying to figure out how to do it without Mr. Shue. When Mr. Shue decided to stay, though, he was extremely relieved.

The Hummel parents were happy when Finn told them he joined glee club. Rachel was sending him mixed signals all week though, and it was really confusing for Finn. She was really annoying, the way she kept storming out of rehearsals and saying she quit, but he also found her incredibly hot and he was jealous of her talent. And he was flattered by her obvious flirting. They got in trouble that week, both at home and at school, by going behind the adult's backs and performing a sexually explicit song in front of the school, but in Finn's mind it was better than the alternative. He could _not_ do disco in front of the whole school. They would eat him alive!

That weekend, Finn spent a lot of time hanging out with his dad, watching football, Deadliest Catch, and any sports game they could find. He had a ton of fun just hanging with his old man, which he felt was something they hadn't done in a while. He was nervous about where he would fit in the next week, after everything that had gone down with the football guys. But on Monday, Puck once again apologized, and said he'd lay off the bullying and stick to just straight up intimidation. Finn knew he wasn't going to get any better than that, and he actually did like Puck, so he forgave him. He promised, however, that if Puck ever lay a finger on his brother he'd break his nose.

XX

On Monday in glee, Kurt was surprised to say the least when three cheerleaders waltzed into the room. Not so much that Brittany had joined, she'd kind of told him she might, especially when she found out that rehearsals would be during the day and would not interfere with cheerleading, but he wasn't expecting his brother's girlfriend or what's her face, the pretty Latina. He was happy though, it was one step closer to being able to qualify for sectionals!

Brittany quickly pulled a seat close to Kurt, and took it, linking arms with him. Quinn and Santana, she said her name was, sat next to her.

"So you didn't tell me you're joining glee," Kurt commented.

"Yeah, I was going to today anyway, and then Quinn and Santana decided to join me. Cool, huh?" she said happily, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Very," he agreed. Quinn tried to make small talk with him, but Kurt felt uncomfortable around her. He was pretty sure it was only because she found out he was Finn's brother, and wanted to prove to Finn that she could make nice with him. Kurt thought she was nice enough to him, at least at the moment, though he thought she was a bit of a bitch to everyone else; there was just something about her that made him uncomfortable. She reminded him of someone, but he didn't know who. It was the way she talked, her mannerisms. They were familiar. And she gave him these awkward looks sometimes, it made him really uncomfortable. It was just a creepy feeling and he didn't know why.

She had been spending more time over at the Hummels lately, and Kurt found himself spending more time with his friends, or hiding out in his room to avoid her. It didn't go unnoticed, and his father told him off for being rude to Finn and his girlfriend.

Things at home for Kurt were also frustrating. He was tired of watching Finn spend so much time with his dad. They had so much more in common than Kurt and Burt. Sure Burt loved Kurt, and supported him in every endeavor. He'd spent more time watching dance rehearsals and doing research on ballet than he could count just so he could have something to talk about with his son, and be able to better support him. But Finn and Burt could talk for hours about sports, camping and fishing, and watching their favorite shows together. Kurt had that kind of relationship with his mom, but he didn't have it with his dad, and he wanted it. So he asked Finn to help him try out for the football team. His parents had been hesitant, until Kurt pointed out that if he were on the team he wouldn't be teased as much; he'd be one of them. Finn tried to talk him out of using his music, but Kurt insisted. And so, Finn helped his brother try out for the team dancing to the single ladies song in front of all the football guys. He better get the best brother ever award for this.

XX

A few days later, Carole and Kurt made another trip to Bellefontaine for Kurt's therapy appointment, making for a late dinner. Finn was silent at dinner, and Carole kept asking him what was wrong, he kept insisting he just wasn't feeling well. That night Kurt found Finn sobbing into his pillow.

"Finn, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting on his brother's bed, and laying a hand on his shoulder. Finn shrugged him off, but Kurt put his hand right back. Pretty soon, Finn had his arms around Kurt and was sobbing into his brother's shoulder. Kurt held onto him until he had calmed down.

"What's wrong, Finn?" he asked again when Finn could speak properly.

"You can't…you can't tell mom and dad," he said.

Kurt agreed.

"Quinn's pregnant," he whispered.

Kurt almost fell off the bed. "She's w-what? Are you sure?"

"She's sure," he said. "And it's mine."

"You…you…wow, Finn."

"I know…Kurt, what am I gonna do?"

Kurt pulled Finn back into a hug.

"You have to tell mom and dad," he told his brother.

"I can't! They'll hate me!" Finn cried.

"No they won't, Finn. You know mom and dad, they'll help you through this. And you aren't going to be able to hide this from them forever," Kurt pointed out, reasonably.

"I can't, Kurt. Not yet, please, you promised," Finn begged.

"I won't, Finn. I won't rat you out, but I think you should consider it," Kurt told him. Kurt felt horrible for his brother. He thought dad had had the "sex" talk with him—he'd had it with them both, but Kurt walked out in the middle with an "I'm gay dad, and I'm the only gay kid in my school. I'm not going to have sex anytime soon. And I really don't need you to tell me where babies come from."

XX

The next week during glee, Finn approached Mr. Shue with an unusual request. He asked Kurt to stay, he wanted to ask for his help.

"You want me to teach the football team how to dance?" Mr. Shue asked, uncertainty evident in his face.

"I went to the library, Mr. Shue. I did research on it! Football players practice ballet, I read it helps, and Kurt kind of proves it! I need to get a football scholarship, I'm going to have a child to support!"

"Finn," Mr. Shue responded, "you're a sophomore. I'm not saying you don't need a scholarship, or that I won't help, but you need to understand that college scouts aren't going to be looking at you for the next year or two. That doesn't mean you shouldn't up your game, because if that's what you want, I'll help you. But you need to understand the reality of this, alright?"

"So you'll help me?" Finn asked, hopefully.

So the next day, the football players came to the choir room after school, and Kurt and Mr. Shuester gave them all a dance lesson. As foolish as most of the boys felt, that Friday they won their game when they bust a move on the field, and Kurt scored the winning kick and the following week Puck, Matt Rutherford, and Mike Chang joined glee. Kurt was extremely hesitant about Puck being there, after everything he'd put him through the first few days of school. Matt and Mike never bothered him; in fact Matt had stopped Korofsky and Azimio from ganging up on him in Finn's absence earlier that day and Mike had backed him up, but Puck had been one of the instigators at the beginning, even if he'd been laying off since Finn threatened him.

Then Rachel had gotten upset about Tina getting a solo, and stormed off. Kurt was thoroughly annoyed with her. He had just as much training as she did…or maybe not quite as much, but certainly a lot at Bajar, and nobody saw _him_ storming off every time things didn't go perfectly. He was annoyed, too, with the level of affection Finn seemed to be showing her. She was annoying as hell, and he was about to become a father, why the hell was he trying to get with another girl.

XX

"Why, Kurt?" his dad asked, angrily later in the afternoon of the day Kurt had gotten drunk at school and thrown up on Ms. Pilsbury, thus causing his father to come and pick him up. He slept for a few hours in the back room at his father's shop, Burt not trusting him to be home alone, and now he was awake and his father wanted to talk about it.

"I don't know," Kurt replied, looking down at the floor.

"I am sick of getting that answer every time you or Finn do something dumb. I want a real answer, Kurt. We had a long conversation about this after sectionals, I didn't think you would do it again."

In the end, Kurt was grounded for 3 weeks, and after his father had gotten it out of them, his dad went down to the school and gave Mr. Shue a piece of his mind. A forty year old woman had absolutely no business performing with a group of children in a high school, he said, and if April Rhodes continued, neither Finn nor Kurt would be allowed to be a part of it. She was a bad influence on his children, as she'd gotten Kurt drunk at school. Finn wouldn't fess up to what she'd tried with him, but Burt was sure something had happened there. Mr. Shue agreed, and it was decided that Santana would perform the lead, as Rachel was out.

Finn, meanwhile, was doing his best to convince Rachel to come back. He'd gone as far as to make out with her in a bowling alley.

"What do you think you're doing, Finn?" Kurt asked at home one night when the pair were babysitting. "Quinn is pregnant with your child, and you're busy making out with some other girl?"

"I need Rachel in glee club," Finn argued. "It's the only way I'll get a music scholarship!"

"Finn," Kurt tried to explain, gently. As sweet as he had the tendency to be, his brother could be so thick sometimes. "You are a sophomore; you're not about to get a scholarship right now anyway. And you know Rachel, she's not going to last in theater, especially with Ryerson. She's going to come back to glee with or without you cheating on your pregnant girlfriend!"

"I'm just trying to do what's right for my kid, Kurt. I wouldn't expect you to understand," Finn said.

"I do understand, Finn. But you're going around doing the right thing the wrong way. The right way would be to let mom and dad help you, and to be there for Quinn right now in every way you can to support her, and that doesn't include cheating on her!"

Finn nodded, Kurt did make a lot of sense. "What am I gonna do, Kurt? I'm not father material. I don't know what I'm doing. You know what it was like with Emily at the beginning…what it's still like now, mom and dad were at their wits end. I'm 15, how can I do that?"

"Is Quinn even keeping the baby?" Kurt asked.

"She's not sure, but whatever happens, I don't really get much say. It's her decision. I get all the problems and none of the control," he said.

Kurt did feel for his brother. In that moment he was glad he was gay. He wasn't about to get anyone pregnant.

XX

"So I'm going to be an uncle. How crazy is that?"

"_I can't believe Finn knocked a girl up! He was always so adamant with Natalie, he wasn't ready to have sex yet!"_

"I know, seriously! And now, he's all over Rachel, like he'd prefer to be with her over Quinn!"

"_Who's Rachel again?"_

"She's the dramatic one, the one that storms off every time she doesn't get her way."

"_Oh! She's the one who you fought over the solo for? The one you threw the note for?"_

"Exactly."

"_I still can't believe you did that."_

"My dad was getting threatening phone calls, Blaine! I had to. I can't have him thinking the bullying is as bad here as it was at Briggs."

"_Is it?"_

"No. I mean it is, but not in the same way. I get slushied a lot, but one of the bullies is Finn's best friend, he's laid off me now. And Brittany helps a lot."

"_What does that mean? Slushied?"_

"They throw a slushy in your face."

"_Seriously? Kurt…you promised you'd tell your parents if it got bad. I'm worried about you."_

"Don't, Blaine. I will tell them if it gets bad. I brought some of it on myself, anyway. I was a part of the football team, but I announced I'd be quitting in the showers after our last game. They didn't take it well. Anyway, how's Dalton?"

"_It's great! The Warblers here are awesome, and there's so much less drama at an all boys school. You should come here, Kurt. It would be absolutely perfect if you were here!"_

"My parents don't have the money your parents have, Blaine. Hey listen, I have to go. It's time for dinner."

"_Alright, Kurt, I miss you. Maybe you can get your dad to drive you out here this weekend, you can spend the night…"_

"I'm grounded, Blaine. That whole drunk at school thing…but maybe another weekend."

"_Right. OK, bye Kurt."_

_Thank you to Kikijuanita, pollysam, and Countess D for your lovely reviews! I appreciate the feedback!_


	16. Chapter 16

"Kurt?" Kurt looked up from his desk, where he was working on homework. It was 2 weeks into his grounding, and he was so bored, and doing homework without his music completely sucked. His parents normally let him keep his music and watch TV when he was grounded, but they were really buckling down this time. They let him call Blaine for a 15 minute conversation once a week while he was grounded, and only because he couldn't see him at school, but other than that, Kurt was cut off. He supposed getting drunk at school _was_ worse than his normal screw ups.

"Hey Finn, what's up?" Kurt welcomed, looking forward to a bit of company and distraction. Finn was the only 'friend' he had outside of school these days. Finn came in and sat on Kurt's bed, leaning against the headboard. Kurt, knowing Finn wanted to talk, moved to sit at the foot. Finn played with the frills on Kurt's blanket for a few minutes before speaking.

"It's a girl," Finn told his brother.

"Oh…Finn…" Kurt paused, and silence ensued for a few moments.

"She wants to give her up," he said, blinking tears out of his eyes. "She says she's not ready to be a mother."

"Do you want to keep her, Finn?" Kurt wondered. His heart broke for his brother. It was surreal for him, knowing he'd be an uncle in a few months…and it was a girl. It was just so…strange. And here he'd been sulking because he was pissed and bored, Finn had real problems.

"Yes…no…I don't know, Kurt. She's all I think about. My baby. My daughter. I don't want her to think I abandoned her, you know? I'm her father. And now, seeing her on the ultrasound, knowing she's a girl, it's so real. I don't want to say goodbye and never see her again." Finn started crying for real, now, and Kurt pulled him close and held him until the tears were all out.

"You know," Kurt suggested. "I know it won't help your situation, but sometimes when things get to be too much for me, singing helps."

"Singing?" Finn asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know…something that represents your situation. Like 'I'll stand by you,' by the Pretenders. It helps with the…emotions…you know? Helps me clear my head."

"Yeah…" Finn responded after thinking about it for a moment. "That does make sense. I'll try it," Finn promised. "Thanks Kurt…you know, just for being here, listening."

"Anytime, Finn," Kurt said, giving his brother a hug.

"What time are mom and dad coming home?" Finn asked. Kurt had to laugh. Mom and Emily got home at 5:30 every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, but Finn never remembered.

"5:30, Finn. And it's my turn to make dinner, so I'm gonna get on that," Kurt said, getting up from the bed.

"Yeah, OK…I'm gonna do like you suggested, and sing to her," Finn stated. Kurt nodded. "Do you wanna see her, first?" Finn asked. Kurt agreed, and Finn led him to his room, opening his laptop and placing a disk inside. Kurt was awestruck. The tiny little figure on the screen took the shape of a baby, already. He could clearly see the little heart beating. There was an arrow pointing to a spot by the legs as the screen changed saying 'I'm a girl!' Kurt couldn't tell for sure, but trusted what was written. It bounced back up to the baby's head, and he watched as the tiny little hand moved up to the face; his little niece was sucking her thumb. Kurt felt the tears leaking into his own eyes.

"My niece," he whispered, touching the screen. Whatever he felt before, he felt it 10 times stronger now. This was his brother's daughter, and he was awe struck.

"See?" Finn asked. "How can I give that up? She's mine…"

Kurt wrapped his arms around his brother's neck, wiping his tears behind Finn's back.

"I have to get dinner started," he said, hurrying out of the room so his brother couldn't see him cry.

As he headed downstairs, he heard Finn strumming on his guitar. Kurt decided on lasagna. A lot of busy work went into it, taking his mind off of his brother and his niece. A few minutes later, his mom and Emily came in.

"Looks good, Kurt!" she said, kissing her son on the forehead. "If I set her up with some coloring supplies, will you talk to her while you cook? Dad's out of uniforms and so is Finn…I need to get the laundry started if I hope to have it all done before bed."

"Sure," Kurt agreed, and helped Emily into her chair while Carole made her way upstairs. He just started laying the next layer of noodles, when he remembered Finn. He didn't want his mom to walk in on the wrong moment, and he still heard his brother singing.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, hoisting Emily out of her chair and carrying her up the stairs, quickly. Too late. Carole was standing outside Finn's open door, watching him.

"Were you singing to a sonogram, Finn?" she asked.

"Uh huh," Kurt heard from a terrified Finn a moment later. Carole entered the room, and Kurt moved to the doorway, watching as Finn collapsed into his mother's arms, crying.

"Is Quinn pregnant, Finn?" she asked, and Kurt could tell she was holding back the tears.

"I'm so sorry, mom," Finn sobbed. Carole hugged him and rubbed his back.

"It's going to be OK," she assured him.

Kurt left them alone, it was too late to stop and to be honest, he was glad his mom knew. He wanted to tell him from the time he found out a few weeks previously. He carried Emily down the stairs, thinking about how pretty soon, his brother would have a little girl like Emily of his own.

"What do you think, Em? Are you big enough to be an aunty?" He asked the toddler on his hip. "Me! Me!" she shouted in response. Kurt placed her back on her chair with her colors, and continued the work on the lasagna.

They brought it up with Burt at dinner that night. Finn started crying yet again, and Burt was speechless. He simply got up and crossed to Finn's side of the table, pulling him in close for a hug.

"So what are we going to do?" Carole wondered out loud.

"Do her parents know, Finn?" Burt asked.

"No," Finn responded. "She's terrified to tell them. I have to get a job, though. Those sonogram things are expensive."

"Bring us the bill," Carole told him, "and we'll pay for it. You're 15 years old Finn, it's not going to be easy to find a job. We'll discuss it again when you turn 16. How far along is she? Do you know when she's due?" Carole asked.

"Uh…16 weeks, the doctor said she's due in April," Finn told his parents, taking a tiny bite of his lasagna.

"Does Quinn know what she wants to do with the baby?" Burt asked.

"She says she wants to give her up…" Finn responded, the tears prickling his eyes again.

"It's a girl?" Burt asked, gently. Finn nodded his head. "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday," he responded.

"What do you want, Finn?" Carole asked.

"I…I don't know, mom! It's my daughter…I can't just abandon her!" Finn cried. "But I'm 15…you won't even let me have fish! And…I know how much work it is to take care of Emily…"

"Me! Me!" Emily squeeled.

"You think on it, Finn," Burt told his son, "and we'll help you through this, no matter what. But remember that even if Quinn decides to give her up, as her father you have rights."

Finn's head snapped up, and he stared at his father momentarily before responding. "You mean…you mean I could keep her? Even if Quinn decides not to?"

"It's something you need to think long and hard about, Finn. A baby isn't something you can decide to keep or give up without thinking about the lifelong obligations. We'll help you with this, and you need to think seriously about this for the next five months. You have a lot of growing up to do," Carole advised.

XX

Kurt overheard Finn and Quinn fighting in the hallway. Quinn was crying and telling Finn off for telling his parents. Kurt decided to intercede before the entire school overheard.

"Hey," he said, pulling Quinn into a currently empty math classroom, Finn following.

"What do you want, Kurt?" Quinn asked, pulling her hand from his grasp.

"He didn't mean to tell them," Kurt assured her. "My mom overheard. But they can help, did you tell her, Finn?"

"My mom said they'd pay for the bill," Finn promised. "And they want you to come to dinner…so we can all discuss it."

Quinn was silent, but eventually threw herself into Finn's arms. "You have to come for dinner tonight though. My dad wants you to. I'm not ready for them to know, yet, though."

XX

That day in glee they were busily getting ready for regionals. Kurt's favorite song, by far, was Wheels. It was so much fun, and so completely unique. Rachel kept trying to go after Finn, but Kurt was happy to see that Finn kept his distance, instead focusing on Quinn. He'd let his brother have it the other day, and he was pleased that Finn seemed to have gotten the message. Finn had no business going after another girl when he had a pregnant girlfriend, in Kurt's opinion.

Kurt and Finn got home from school that evening, and Kurt helped Finn pick out the right outfit to wear to Quinn's. Their dad got home at 4 with Emily and drove Finn over, while Kurt got started on dinner. It wasn't his night but he didn't mind; he quite enjoyed cooking, it took his mind off of things. His parents spent the evening discussing Finn and their future grandchild, while Kurt played with Emily. The next day was a teacher in-service, so he had no school. Around 7, the door burst open and in walked a Finn with an upset looking Quinn carrying a bag.

"Quinn's parents kicked her out. Can she stay here?" he asked. Carole immediately got up and pulled Quinn into a gentle embrace.

"Of course, sweetheart, you can stay here as long as you need," she agreed.

Burt excused himself to go put clean sheets on the guest room bed, while Finn sat on the couch and pulled Quinn down next to her. Emily grabbed a book and decided to help herself to Quinn's lap.

"Book!" she demanded, handing it to Quinn. "Read book!"

"Emily, Quinn's sad right now, she doesn't want to read your book," Finn said, reaching over to help Emily down.

"It's OK, Finn," Quinn assured him, and began reading to the little girl. Watching the scene, Kurt couldn't help but wonder if this scene would be repeated in a year or two, with a different child.

As awkward as Kurt always felt around Quinn, and her moving in with them was certainly no exception, Kurt tried his hardest to make her feel welcome. She was carrying his niece now, he thought. That kind of made her a part of the family. On Friday, though they had no school, Quinn didn't feel like doing anything, still too upset over her parents. The three kids hung around and watched movies, and Kurt had fun singing to musicals with Quinn. She shared his love for Sound of Music, and Kurt found himself enjoying a different side of Quinn…the side nobody ever saw at school. At home, she was just a frightened teenager.

XXX

Quinn Fabray felt like her world was crashing down around her. Her pregnancy hadn't gotten out at school yet, but it was only a matter of time. Especially now, all the glee kids knew, her parents knew, and she'd been kicked out of her house. She didn't know how she expected her parents to react, but she'd hoped they had at least the decency to help her through this. Her parents had always had extremely high expectations of Quinn, though, and there was really no room to move with them around.

They rescued her, they reminded her when they felt she wasn't holding up to her end of the deal. If it weren't for them, she would have grown up in foster care. She would have never had a real family. She had to be perfect, because her parents had adopted her so they could have two perfect daughters. There was no room for failure, her parents simply wouldn't accept it. If she failed, she would be sent back to foster care. They'd told her that, themselves. She had been terrified of them finding out she was pregnant.

Quinn didn't remember her life before the Fabray's well at all. She knew she had a brother, but she couldn't remember much about him. The smell of lilac reminded her of her birth mother, as did her favorite musical, The Sound of Music. She wasn't sure why, it was so long ago…she had been very young when her mother died, she didn't even know exactly how old she was. Her parents pretty much blocked anything from that part of Quinn's life out. When they adopted her, they changed her name. It was Lucy, she remembered, but she couldn't remember her brother's name. Her parents had forbid her to speak of her past once they adopted her. They wanted a fresh start, they said. She was only 5, and she didn't have many memories of anything before that. She dreamed about a man with a belt, sometimes, and a little boy. She dreamed about a beautiful blond woman, and a tall man with long hair. Sometimes, she did a double take when she saw certain people on the streets, but she never knew why. The smell of lilac was forever engrained in her memory; she wore it every day. But the actual memories of her young childhood were lost.

The first time she had met Kurt, something about him struck her. She couldn't explain it, but he reminded her of someone. She thought he noticed the awkwardness, too, but neither one said anything. When she found out he was Finn's brother, she tried being nice to him. She was thankful for a reason to be nice, because with her status at school he was the type of boy she was expected to make fun of. She didn't want to, but she had to maintain her status at school. She was captain of the Cheerios, and president of the Celibacy club; her parents were pleased with her accomplishments but continuously pushed her for more. There was no room to take a step backward on the ladder. She had always been a secret rebel, though. She had always taken advantage of every opportunity to do something her parents wouldn't approve of, just to have that little piece of control in her life.

She thought back to her dad's story of when she was little, at the baseball game. She didn't remember it, but she was sure it happened. They hadn't been bad parents, they'd been good to her. She adjusted fairly quickly, and she loved her family. The expectations didn't really start until she was around 10; before that, she had a fairly normal life. They were affectionate; they pushed her to try her hardest but she was allowed to be a child.

When she found out she was pregnant, her first thought was to give the baby up for adoption. Mrs. Shuester had approached her about adopting the baby, and she thought that was really weird. But she considered it; Mr. Shue would make a really good dad, and her baby would be well cared for. She knew she was too young to be a mother, and that's why she told Finn her plans to give the baby up. But she didn't think she wanted to give her to the Shuester. Mrs. Shuester was all sorts of crazy; still, she agreed, with the thoughts that she at least needed help paying for stuff. And then Mrs. Shuester turned her down for any money, and Quinn wasn't sure how to back out of the agreement.

After being kicked out, Quinn's parents took her phone, and Finn had apparently let his die, so they were stuck walking back to Finn's house. At first, Quinn was furious with Finn and his asinine decision to sing that song in front of her parents. But at the end of the day, it was time for it to all be out in the open; her parents were bound to find out sooner or later, and at least it was over with. It was a good five miles, so they had time to talk, and she brought the real reasons for her decision to the table.

"I was adopted, Finn. Did you know that?" Quinn asked.

"No," he responded, looking over at her. He was carrying her bags, not allowing her to carry more then she needed to.

"Yeah. I was five." Quinn explained everything her parents had always pushed her for, the perfection, the continued reminders that nothing less than perfect was accepted.

"I just don't want to give her to a family that's going to see her that way. I didn't grow up with my biological parents, and I wonder every day what they were like. I won't ever know, they died when I was little, but I don't want her to ever wonder," she told him. "Sometimes I think giving her up is the right decision, because we're so young, but I love her already Finn. I don't know if I can do it."

It took Finn a block to respond. "Not every family is like that, though. Kurt was adopted, and my parents don't expect anything out of him that they don't out of me. He was almost 9 when we met him, and he's no different than a blood brother would be. Not all families are like your parents, we could find her a good one. But if we wanted to keep her…my parents would help," he told his girlfriend, glancing at her, then her stomach. He could just barely tell that she was slightly larger than she used to be, when she wasn't wearing her coat. A breeze picked up, and she shivered. And just like that, Finn put her bags on the ground, took off his jacket, and placed it over her shoulders before picking her bags back up again.

It was moments like these that Quinn felt like the most horrible person in the world for lying to Finn. It wasn't his baby, but she wanted it to be so badly. Puck just wasn't father material. If they kept the baby, she could see a future with Finn; she could see a future for her baby. With Finn, there was a possibility of keeping her. He could never know she wasn't his. She thought about what he said, though. She didn't realize that Kurt had been adopted at age eight; the two of them may have more in common then she realized. And if Finn's parents could accept Kurt, maybe they could accept her and the baby.

When Carole hugged her, Quinn melted. Was this what a real mother's hug felt like? Her mother touched her, but she hadn't been hugged like this for years; not since her parents determined she was old enough to learn how to control her emotions. And then Burt went to set up a bed for her, and Emily cozied right up to her, snuggling in and demanding a story, as if she'd been here foreverch. She was adorable, and made her wonder if this is what it would be like, holding her own daughter. She could see Finn and herself snuggling together with the baby she was carrying, reading together on the couch.

That night, Quinn slept like she hadn't in months. Maybe it was the five mile walk, or maybe it was finally getting her enormous load off her shoulders, and no longer wondering what her parents would think of it. It was done, it was over with, now she just had to keep moving forward. The next day, she didn't feel like doing much, so Kurt and Finn hung around and watched movies with her while the Hummel parents were working and Emily was in day care. She had a lot of fun, and was able to let down her hair and just be herself. She was surprised by how much she actually enjoyed hanging out with Kurt. He was extremely nice, and funny, and sweet. And he loved the Sound of Music almost as much as she did. It was a lot of fun singing with him!

Later that evening, after dinner, when Kurt had retired to his room Quinn went to talk to him, alone. She had an apology to make for the way she treated him at school. Now that she no longer had to be perfect for her parents, maybe it would be possible to be herself at school. If she could get over being the most popular girl at school. Something else had been on her mind all day, but she didn't want to say anything in front of Finn. She and Kurt shared something that Finn could never understand. They were both adopted, and she wanted to know how he felt about it.

His door was open, but she knocked anyway. Kurt was in his pajamas, sitting at a vanity moisturizing his face. He invited her in, and moved to his bed, offering her the chair.

"Hi Kurt," she said, coming into the room. "I wanted to apologize. I've been really rude to you at school, and then I come here after my parents kick me out of my own house, and you're so nice to me. And I really don't deserve it. I'm really, really sorry for the way I've treated you," she said sincerely.

"You really weren't all that bad, Quinn," Kurt said, seemingly surprised. "I mean, you weren't great but the football jocks have always been like 100 times worse than you."

"Still, though. I'm going to try to treat you better," she vowed.

"Why?" Kurt asked. "Is it because you're carrying my brother's baby? Or is it because how you've treated me was wrong? Because you didn't take any kind of special interest in me, Quinn. You treated me the same way you treated everyone else," Kurt pointed out. Maybe it was rude, but it was true; she treated him the same way she treated everyone on his level of the status ladder. He wasn't going to hold it against her at home, when she was already going through so much, but she did bring the subject up.

"It was wrong, Kurt. And I'm really, really sorry."

Kurt accepted her apology, and the two fell into an easy conversation about music, before Quinn brought up the topic she really wanted to talk about.

"Finn told me you're adopted, Kurt," she said. Kurt's head snapped up.

"Why did he tell you that?" he asked. "He shouldn't have."

"It's OK, Kurt…I won't tell anyone. He only told me because…I'm adopted, too. Its part of the reason I'm so nervous about the thought of giving her up. I was really just…wondering what your opinion of it was. Do you miss your birth parents? Do you feel abandoned?"

"Oh…" Kurt responded, falling silent for a few minutes. "No…I miss them, but they died. It wasn't their fault. I met the Hummel's when I was 8…. When were you adopted?"

"I was five," she said, sadly.

Kurt opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a photo, handing it to Quinn.

"This is my birth family," he told her. "My mom, my dad, my sister and I. They died when we were four, and my sister and I were separated when we were five. I think about them all the time, but I love the Hummels. They're the best family I could have asked for."

Quinn took it and stared at it for several minutes. It didn't take her more than a minute to recognize the little girl. It was her.

_So, I may get one more chapter in before Monday, it depends on how much time I get to write. But starting next week updates are going to get less frequent. I'm a full time graduate student, and I've been on winter break since before Christmas. Classes are starting up again next week, however, and with that on top of my internship schedule...suffice to say my time will be academically inclined. I will not abandon this story. I will attempt to continue to update once a week or so. You can help keep me motivated to write, though, by reviewing! Getting feedback on my writing and being reminded that people are actually reading and enjoying is an excellent motivator for me to write and get chapters out faster!_


	17. Chapter 17

_I own nothing you recognize._

Quinn was only five when she was adopted. She'd seen pictures of herself when she first came to be with the Fabrays, and there was no mistaking that this was a picture of her. It couldn't have been long before her parents died. She recognized the boy, too. And the woman was the woman that Quinn had only ever seen in her dreams. She couldn't remember the man as well, but he was recognizable.

"This…this is you?" she asked. Kurt nodded, giving her a curious look. "Where…where's the little girl?" she asked.

"My sister, Lucy. We're twins. She was adopted after we moved out of our uncle's house. They ran out of relatives to place us with, and Lucy was much more adoptable than I was," Kurt told her, sadly. He had no idea why he was telling Quinn this, except that she was being so nice about it. He never really had anyone to talk to about being adopted that could actually get it. He felt a sort of…kinship; a connection with Quinn. If anybody understood, it was her. Maybe she was younger when she was adopted, and maybe he had a lot more issues than she did with it. Maybe he found a better family then she did, but they both knew what it was like to grieve the loss of their birth parents; to never really know where they came from. She had a past, and he didn't know if it was as dark as his was, but it certainly wasn't picture perfect the way he'd always thought.

But Quinn teared up at that point, and handed him the picture.

"I'm sorry, I gotta go," she said, hurrying out of the room.

Kurt looked after her. He hadn't just given a snippet of the dark side of his past…the side he never talked about…to someone who would abuse the knowledge, had he? He thought maybe he'd found an ally in Quinn…what had he done?

Quinn, meanwhile, rushed downstairs and shut herself in the guest room. This couldn't be happening. This could _not_ be happening. Kurt couldn't be her brother; there was just no way. But that picture…there was just no denying that picture. It was _her._ And Kurt was beyond recognizable. She never forgot her brother. She may have lost track of his name, but she barely remembered her own name. Once she met Kurt, she _knew_ there was something familiar about his name. There was something familiar about _him._ Her parents had spent so long attempting to make her forget her past, forbidding her to speak of it, or to keep anything from her young childhood, that eventually they succeeded. There were some things they couldn't erase, of course. Her memory of lilac, her dreams of her parents, of her brother, of the man with the belt, but she didn't remember most of it in her waking moments. She thought about him once in a while, but she figured he had gotten on with her own life as she had with hers.

Which made her wonder…

What made him less adoptable than she was? He had said that, hadn't he? That he was less adoptable? She lay in bed thinking for hours, when she determined she would not be getting any sleep tonight. She crept silently up to Kurt's room, where he was lying peacefully asleep, clutching a very worn teddy bear. A memory of the bear crept into her consciousness. She didn't doubt that this was her brother. She watched him for a few minutes before creeping back downstairs to help herself to some tea. Five minutes later, she heard footsteps on the stairs. She turned around to find Kurt standing there in his pajamas.

"Oh…sorry," he said. "Something woke me up, and I thought I heard something down here."

"Oh, yeah…I couldn't sleep," she said, dipping her tea bag in the water. "There's more water. Do you want some?" she asked. He nodded and helped himself to a mug.

"I'm sorry I ran out on you earlier. Your story just….it brought back some memories I haven't thought about in a long time. I freaked out," she explained softly.

Kurt nodded, sighing as he dipped his tea bag in the water. "I get that," he told her. "There are a lot of memories from my childhood I'd like to keep buried."

"Like what?" she asked.

"I'd really…rather not talk about it," Kurt replied. "I'm sorry, it's not that I don't trust you. It's that…I don't talk about it to anyone."

Quinn wanted to tell Kurt the truth, but didn't know how. How do you just tell your baby's fake daddy's brother that you're his sister? It was…too weird. Their relationship was too strange. And yet, she didn't want this to be another lie in the web of lies her life was turning into.

"Do you remember it?" she asked. "When you were little…do you remember what your life was like?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I can't forget. I mean, some things are less prevalent. I don't remember my father much. Little things I remember…he always came home smelling like tar, and every time we drive past a newly paved road or a construction site, and that odor is in the air…it reminds me of him. Sound of Music reminds me of my mother. I was named after Kurt, you know?"

"Really?" she asked with a smile. She didn't know that, but she remembered her birth mother liking the musical; whenever she watched it she thought of her mother. "I don't remember much from before. I remember some things, scents mostly. The scent of my mother's perfume. I wear it all the time, because it makes me feel close to her. That probably sounds really dumb, but it's like, all I have left, you know?"

"It doesn't sound dumb, Quinn," he said, laying a hand on hers.

"My parents, when they adopted me, they thought it would be best for me to sever all ties with my past. They made me give up everything I'd taken with me from my home, they changed my name, and they didn't let me talk about my past at all. They wanted me to have a fresh start. I have a few faint memories…dreams, really…but I don't remember much at all," she told him, sadly. "Sometimes, something happens, and it sparks something in me. It makes me remember something, and I wonder how I ever forgot it. But it's like it was another lifetime."

Kurt stared at her for a long time, silently. There was something about her; he felt like…it couldn't be. He dismissed the thought, quickly. There was just no way. "I'm going to bed, Quinn. Sleep well," he told her, getting out of his chair and going back upstairs. It may have been rude, but he couldn't think of anything to say, and couldn't handle talking about it anymore.

XX

Kurt and Quinn avoided any more deep talks for the weekend, though she was behaving oddly around him all weekend, and on Monday they were back at school. It was the start of November now, and sectionals were coming up quickly. Kurt was personally glad that they would not be opposing Throat Explosion for sectionals. If they both won, he would have to face them for regionals, but he wouldn't think about that until the time came.

"Kurt!" Mercedes ran up to him on Tuesday, linking arms. "Guess who's dating?"

"Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel?"

"No! Kurt! Matt and I! He asked me out for Friday, and I _need_ you to help me pick out my outfit!" Mercedes demanded.

"Really? Mercedes, I'd love to!" Kurt agreed. "We'll have to go shopping!"

"Tonight?" she asked.

"Not tonight…I have to go to Bellefontaine. Tomorrow?" he suggested.

"Tomorrow, then!" They passed Finn and Rachel, who were deep in conversation.

"Are you sure?" Finn asked. "Like I mean, completely sure?

"I wouldn't lie about this, Finn. I care about you too much," Rachel replied.

Finn stormed past Kurt and Mercedes, accidentally pushing Kurt to the side. He quickly let go of Mercedes and chased after him.

"Finn!" he yelled, but Finn was too fast. He was in the choir room before Kurt could catch up, and on top of Puck, punching him over and over. The other kids already in the room stood around watching.

"Finn!" Kurt shouted, rushing up to his brother. He grabbed Finn's arm, but Mr. Shue pushed him away, grabbing onto Finn and pulling him up.

"What is going on here?" he asked, sternly.

"Just tell me if it's true," Finn said, looking toward Quinn and Puck. Quinn was crying, but she approached Finn.

"Just tell me if it's true," Finn repeated.

"Yes, Finn. I'm so sorry," she confirmed through her tears. "Puck's the father."

"So all that stuff about the hot tub, it's not true?" Finn asked.

"You were dumb enough to believe it!" Puck interjected. Finn turned toward him, but Mr. Shue pulled him back.

"I'm done with you!" Finn shouted, turning and stalking out of the room. Kurt looked at Quinn momentarily, before turning after Finn.

"Finn!" he shouted, chasing after his brother, who was headed toward the gym. Finn ignored him until they were alone in the locker room, then turned toward Kurt and let his tears fall.

"Why would she do this?" Finn asked, through his tears.

"Because you'd make a better father than Puck," Kurt answered. To him, the reasoning was obvious, as angry as he was at Quinn he knew she had done what she had for a reason. "She was terrified and you were the obvious choice for her to have the baby with."

"So you think it's OK?" Finn asked, angrily.

"No, Finn, it wasn't OK! It was horrible, she shouldn't have done it!" Kurt wished he hadn't said anything, as the question was obviously rhetorical.

"I can't go back there," Finn stated.

"Let's go home," Kurt suggested.

"Skip?" Finn asked.

"Yeah, one day won't hurt," Kurt stated. And so, the brothers walked home from school together; Kurt let Finn do the talking on the way, he had a lot to get off his chest.

"The worst part is," he said, "as angry and pissed as I am at her, I do get it. She was scared, like you said earlier."

"You're a sweet guy, Finn. Quinn missed out." Finn threw his arm around his brother's shoulder.

"Hey fellas," Burt said, walking into the house a few hours later. "I got a call from the secretary. Care to share why you're not at school?"

"I'm not the baby's dad," Finn told him.

"You're not…seriously Finn?" Burt asked, sitting on the couch next to his older son.

"Puck's the father," Finn explained. "It came out today. I couldn't take it, so we left."

"So she's been lying to you all this time?" Burt asked, angrily.

"Yeah…I mean, I should of known. We never did anything…"

"Did anything, you mean like sex? You never had sex?" Finn shook his head. "Finn, why on earth did you believe her in the first place if you never had sex?" he asked, flabbergasted, though admittedly relieved.

"She said that sperm swim faster in the hot tub! How was I supposed to know it wasn't true?" Finn cried.

"Uh…" Burt had no words. He'd have to have a serious sex education conversation with his son, that much was clear, but right now there were more pressing concerns. "Wow…OK, Finn. It's OK," he assured his son.

"She can't live here, dad," he said.

"No, no, Finn she won't. We can't just kick her out, but we'll find somewhere for her to go. She's a minor, we're going to have to call social services and have her taken into custody," he said. He hated to do it, but if he didn't the school would. She wouldn't live under the radar for long, and she had no way to take care of herself.

XX

Nationals was crazy. Seriously, crazy. Kurt could not believe Sue leaked the set list to the other schools! Finn had come through for them, though, and showed up with a new set list at the last minute, and the kids won! It felt amazing for Kurt to be back up on the stage…he had forgotten how much he missed it. Sue had been suspended, but came back quickly. Quinn had continuously tried to talk to Kurt, to get him on his own all week, but he pointedly ignored her. He was in no mood to talk to her after what she'd pulled on his brother. Even if he understood (sort of), it didn't excuse her. She was living with Mercedes and her family now, who were licensed foster parents. Kurt was glad she was safe, in a good home. He still cared about her.

Finn was dating Rachel now, but seemed super intimidated by her, and joined the basketball team. Mercedes and Matt were still going strong, and Kurt was happy to see her so happy. Puck and Quinn were trying the dating thing, but it wasn't going so well from what Kurt could tell.

The week after sectionals, Mr. Shue lectured them on how they weren't out of the woods. They would be up against Vocal Adrenaline and Voice Explosion at regionals, both of whom were amazing. Of course, Kurt knew just how amazing Voice Explosion was, having been one of them last year. He wasn't looking forward to facing his old friends at Regionals…Natalie, Sophia and Katie were still part of the team. He was grateful, however, that he didn't have to face the Warblers. He felt bad for Blaine, that they had lost their sectionals, but it saved him from having to compete against Blaine.

To start off, Mr. Shue assigned them to prepare a song, emotional or ballad, that was a reflection of them as a person. Kurt chose 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow.' He felt like it was a good representation of his life, yes, but it was so much more than that to him. It was his birth mother's favorite song, it was the song he still, to this day, played every night on his ipod as he was drifting off to sleep. He didn't think there was a song out there that suited him better.

He went second, after Rachel and Matt. He sat on the stool and began to sing.

_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high,_

_There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby_

_Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue_

_And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true._

He was singing her mother's song. Her mother's song, from her brother's lips. She had been trying to get him on his own all week, she needed to apologize, she needed to tell him the truth. She couldn't keep up the lies, Kurt needed to know. She wasn't sure if it was selfish or not, after all if Kurt knew he might refrain from being angry with her, and she deserved his anger, but she still thought he should know.

This song, though. It was the song their mother sang to them every night when she''d been alive. It was her mother's song. Quinn felt the tears begin to leak out of her eyes. Damn pregnancy hormones.

_Someday I'll wish upon a star_

_And wake up where the clouds are far_

_Behind me_

_Where troubles melt like lemon drops_

_Away above the chimney tops_

_That's where you'll find me_

Kurt had the voice of an angel. Quinn was swept back to a memory. She remembered Kurt laying next to her on a small, dirty bed, arms wrapped around her as she sobbed, singing that song to her. The two had each other in a vice grip, as if by letting go they'd lose each other forever.

_Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly_

_Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh why can't I?_

A sob escaped Quinn's lips. She couldn't do this. She couldn't hide it anymore; she didn't care if it was selfish. Now that she knew where her brother was, she wanted him.

_If happy little bluebirds fly_

_Beyond the rainbow why, oh, why can't I?_

Another sob escaped her lips, and Quinn jumped up and dashed out of the room, running to the girls room and shutting herself in. She leaned against the wall and began sobbing her eyes out. A moment later, Brittany opened the door, coming in and sitting next to Quinn. Quinn leaned against her, crying into her chest. Brittany was such a good friend. She didn't judge. Quinn had been horrible to her best friend's brother, and Brit was still there for her, was still a shoulder to cry on, and she never judged. There weren't many like Brittany.

"What's wrong, Quinn? Was it the song? I always get sad by Wizard of Oz, too…"

"No, it wasn't that…" Quinn stated. "It was…Kurt."

"Kurt made you cry?" she asked.

"No…it's just…I really _really _need to talk to him, and he won't. And I know I don't deserve it, after what I did to Finn, but he's the only one that can help," she said.

"Don't move," Brittany told her, before getting up and walking out. Quinn sat there for a few more minutes, until Brittany re-entered, pulling a protesting Kurt behind him.

"Whatever you two need to work out, work it out," she told them sternly. Kurt chuckled. Brittany sounded more like Carole than he cared to admit.

"What do you want, Quinn?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"I was adopted when I was five, Kurt," Quinn whispered, after several moments of silence.

"I already know that, we've talked about this before," he said impatiently.

"Yeah, but…Kurt, I didn't remember much from my childhood before that, but I remembered some things. The smell of lilac, the Sound of Music, and that song. The one you just sang, it made me remember when I lived with my brother and a man with a belt, and that my brother hugged me and sang that song to me. Kurt, the picture you showed me that day…that's when I knew, and I wanted to tell you but I couldn't get the words out, I could barely believe it myself. I tried to this past week, I'm sorry Kurt. I'm so, _so_ sorry for what I did to Finn, you have to believe me," she begged, beginning to cry again. Kurt just stood there, staring at her, tears running down his face.

"Lucy?" he whispered. Quinn nodded, pulling herself to her feet. Kurt touched her face. He ran his finger down her cheek, like he was testing to see if she was real. And then Quinn was in his arms, crying onto his shoulder, and Kurt was holding her tight, crying just as hard.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" he asked.

She nodded, wiping away her tears. "Where?" she asked.

"My house," he replied after a few moments thought.

"You wanna skip school?"

"I'll never be able to concentrate today," he replied. "But I should tell Finn. Or…maybe that wouldn't be a good idea, quite yet," he thought again.

Quinn agreed, and the two exited the bathroom. "I'll go get our stuff," Kurt told her, "You wait here." Quinn agreed, and Kurt snuck back into the room. Mercedes was singing, now. Kurt grabbed his stuff, and Quinn's.

"Everything alright, Kurt?" Mr. Shue asked.

"Um, yeah, Quinn's just…not feeling well. I'm gonna go sit with her," he replied.

"I'll go," Mercedes interjected, getting up. "She's my foster sister."

"No!" Kurt told her. "I got this, Mercedes, I promise. It's personal."

Finn followed him into the hallway. "Dude, how can you be talking to her again?" he asked. "And hanging out with her?"

"Look, Finn, I can't talk about it right now OK? But you'll find out tonight, I promise," Kurt assured him.

"So you're skipping school again?" Finn asked.

"I wouldn't if it wasn't important, Finn," Kurt replied.

"What's so important that you're betraying me?" Finn asked, angrily.

"I can't talk about this here, Finn. You'll find out later. I'm not betraying you, Quinn is just…a lot more than the Quinn you dated." And Kurt left Finn standing there and left with Quinn.

Finn didn't care what Kurt said, he felt betrayed. How could Kurt be going home with the girl who lied about him becoming a father? He stomped back into the choir room and slammed himself down in the chair, huffing.

Kurt and Quinn (Lucy?), meanwhile, talked about light hearted subjects on the walk home. When they got there, Kurt fixed them both a sandwich for lunch, and brought it into the living room to talk.

"So you're absolutely sure about this?" he asked sitting next to her on the couch.

"Yes,"she responded.

"You know, I have to be honest, it's hard to believe. It's hard for me to see you as Lucy when I've known you as Quinn…and it's hard for me to call you Quinn when I think you used to be Lucy."

"It's weird for me, too, Kurt. You know, I've never forgotten my name. Your name may have slipped my memory, but you yourself never have."

"I always thought there was something different about you. I've always felt like…I don't know, you were familiar somehow. When I was younger, I used to imagine girls I saw on the street were Lucy. I mean I still do sometimes. But I knew I probably wouldn't recognize her if I ever did see her again…I mean, I was five when she disappeared."

"She's right here, Kurt."Kurt took her hand, when a thought struck him.

"I'll be right back!"

Kurt ran upstairs and went into his closet. He pulled out a small trunk full of his old keepsakes. He had some things of Lucy's, her adoptive parents made her leave most of her things behind, and he refused to let anyone throw them away. He pulled out the old baby doll that had gotten Lucy through so many sleepless nights. Miranda, her name was, and she was a gift from their father, Jacob. The baby doll and Lucy had been inseparable in those early years; especially so once the kids were placed in care. Kurt grabbed the picture from his bedside table and made his way back downstairs. When Quinn saw the baby in his arms, she was speechless. She couldn't tear her eyes off of it, and she seemed rooted to her spot.

"Miranda," she finally whispered. And Kurt knew, without a doubt, that she couldn't be playing some kind of horrible trick on him. He handed the baby over, and she clung to it and let the tears come. Kurt sat next to her and put his arms around her, pulling her head into his lap, and curling around her, the way they used to when they were little.

"Do you want to see something?" he asked her.

"What's that?" she responded.

"When we were little, we used to make movies. I have a few; Aunt Lindsey had them. She gave them to me when I met her a few years ago," Kurt explained.

"Aunt Lindsey?" Quinn questioned.

"She was mom's cousin. We lived with her for a few months when we were four, but they couldn't keep us. I don't talk to her much, but she gave me a few things of mom and dads. My parents have the key to the rest of their things, it's all in storage. I've just never gotten the nerve to go there."

"But you have the movie?" she asked.

"Yeah, do you want to watch it?" Quinn nodded, and Kurt went in the bottom drawer of the entertainment center, where his home movies were kept. He watched them periodically, whenever he was feeling especially sad or missed his sister; he'd watched them probably a dozen times, each.

But watching them with Quinn was a whole new experience. She had never seen these movies, she didn't remember much of anything from back then. She had tears streaming from her eyes, and Kurt settled in close to her.

_The first movie was of Lucy and Kurt dancing like maniacs to the Beatles, their father's favorite band. Lilly was dancing with them, and Jacob was laughing from his spot with the camera. Then his father put the camera down, but forgot to turn it off._

Kurt could tell they had no idea the camera was rolling at this point—it was his favorite video for that reason.

_Jacob settled on the couch; he was a big man, broad shoulders, long soft brown hair pulled back into a ponytail. He was wearing a white Beatles shirt, and ripped jeans. He was the definition of what Kurt thought of as a classic rock star. _

He looked _a lot_ like his brother, Charles, but Kurt always differentiated the two, even in his dreams. Jacob was kind, he had warm eyes and a soft voice.

Quinn started laughing, and Kurt looked over at her.

"That's dad?" she asked with a grin. "Wow…he's just…not what I was expecting. He's cute though, and you kind of look like him," she told Kurt. Kurt smiled…his mother—Carole—said the same thing, but somehow it meant more coming from Quinn.

_Lucy jumped from the coffee table into her father's arms, who caught her and tossed her in the air. She squealed, and then settled on his lap. Kurt, meanwhile, was bouncing off the walls._

"You were an energetic child," Quinn commented.

"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "It's like this in most of the movies, I think I enjoyed being the center of attention."

_Kurt climbed on the couch and started doing flips onto the floor. When he climbed onto the arm of the sofa, Jacob asked him to get down. He did a flip over Jacob and Lucy, and Jacob lightly scolded him._

"_Sorry dad!" Kurt said, jumping down from the couch. "Dad! Dad! Look at me, I'm a tornado!" he shouted, spinning around with his arms open. "Look at me, Lucy, come be a tornado!" Lucy joined him, and the two held hands and spun as fast as they could, until Lucy fell to the floor and couldn't stand up again. Jacob stood up, picked her up and flung her over his shoulder, before lifting Kurt over the other one. _

"_Lils! Come help me with the little monsters," he shouted, and Lilly came into the picture._

"She was so beautiful," Quinn commented, and Kurt agreed.

"You look a lot like her, you know," he told his sister. He'd never connected the two before, but now, sitting here with Quinn, he saw just how similar the two were.

_The young parents were mercilessly tickling the two preschoolers, who were squealing in laughter. Eventually, Lucy got loose and jumped on her father's back, shouting that she was going to save Kurt. _

And the video ended. Lucy wanted to watch it again, so Kurt rewound on the ancient VCR that his parents had bought from a garage sale just for his videos when the old one had broken.

"Kurt, what happened to you?" Lucy asked when the video was over and they were curled up on the couch, each with a cup of tea. It was 2 now, and Kurt was aware that their alone time was going to be over in just a few hours.

"What do you mean?" he asked, taking a sip of his tea.

"I mean…you said you weren't as adoptable. You said you didn't meet the Hummels until you were almost 9; what happened in that time.

"Well…do you remember Uncle Charles?" Kurt asked.

"Vaguely," Quinn said. "He was the man with the belt. We lived there for a while, right?"

"Yeah, well, you know, I got it a lot worse than you did, there. It just…messed with me is all," he said.

"So where did you go after I was adopted?"

"A really nice family. Grant and Ella Carson. They had a kid, Matt, I got along with him really well. And another foster child, Emma. I lived with them for two years, they were working on the adoption when Grant got cancer and Emma and I were removed. Then I lived in a temporary home for a few weeks before I moved in with the next foster home."

"Wow, Kurt…I'm sorry. That must have been really hard. Was the next home nice, too?" Quinn asked.

"No, it wasn't," Kurt answered, "but I don't talk about that. Let's talk about something else."

Quinn, not wanting to pressure her brother, complied. She hoped he would tell her eventually, but she got the sense that something bad happened to him before the Hummels. Something even worse than what she already knew about.

"What do you think Finn will do when he finds out? Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" she asked, laying her hand on her belly.

"Finn is a forgiving guy," Kurt replied. "He'll be mad for a while, but you're not going anywhere, he'll have to get over it."

"Have…have you forgiven me, Kurt?" Quinn asked, sadly.

"I was mad at you," Kurt answered after a bit of a hesitation. "I still kind of am, I guess. What you did was pretty…well, not good. Why did you do it, anyway?"

"My parents liked Finn," Quinn answered. "My parents…they were so controlling, and I did everything I could to secretly rebel. I'm not saying it was OK, or the right thing to do, but I made a mistake. I got drunk on wine coolers and I slept with Puck, but Puck is the last person I would choose to be this baby's father, Kurt. Finn…he's so sweet, and I loved him, and I could see us being a family together. I could see the possibility of keeping her, if Finn was the father. I couldn't do that with Puck. Puck isn't father material," she explained. "I never should have let it get as far as it did, but by the time I realized that I didn't know how to change it. And then my parents kicked me out, and then I came here and when I realized you were my brother…I just found myself slipping farther and farther into this web of lies I couldn't get out of."

Kurt supposed he could understand. Quinn wasn't a bad person, she was just a scared kid who made a mistake she couldn't fix.

"I forgive you, Lucy," he assured her, before realizing what he'd said. "Sorry…Quinn…"

"I kind of liked that," she told him. "Maybe…maybe you could call me Lucy, you know, when it's just the two of us? Until I get used to it…" She may have been Quinn for 10 years, but Lucy was her real name. She wasn't sure she was ready to go by it, but maybe eventually… Her parents didn't love her, and she wasn't sure they ever had, but her birth parents loved her dearly, she could tell from the video. She should honor the name they gave her. But she wasn't sure she was ready for that, yet. She was still too hurt.

"Lucy…" Kurt said, trying it out again. "Lucy… God, Lucy, I've missed you." Kurt was crying again, and his sister put her tea down, took his from his hands and placed it next to hers on the table, and pulled him into a hug.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"We'll talk to my parents. They can help, maybe they'll give you your room back," he told her.

"They wouldn't…not after what I did to Finn," she protested.

"Finn's made mistakes. So have I; we do dumb stuff sometimes and they always forgive us," he promised.

"But I'm not their kid," she argued.

"No, but your my sister, and they wouldn't ever, ever make me give you up," he assured her. "My dad calls it piss-poor teenage judgment," he laughed, "and he gets mad, and we get in trouble, but he always forgives."

Quinn/Lucy (Kurt wasn't even sure how to think of her right now) looked unsure, so Kurt took her mind off of it.

"Look, let's watch Sound of Music. We can sing along and forget things until my family gets home. Then we'll explain it to them," he promised.

And that's what they did. Except they fell asleep halfway through, Quinn's head on Kurt's lap, and Kurt twisted and curled around her, his head over her stomach, the way they used to cuddle when they were little. It was a super awkward position for anyone else, but it felt pretty natural to them. And that was how Burt and Carole found them when they entered the house with Emily.

_I was super excited by the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter! Ya'll are amazing! Thanks! Grad school starts tomorrow, but I've already made good progress on chapter 18, so it shouldn't be too long. Again, reviews are excellent writing motivation!_


	18. Chapter 18

_I own nothing you recognize._

'"Kurt!" Kurt groggily opened his eyes, but snapped to attention when he saw his parents standing there. Quinn woke up in her intertangled position next to him, and quickly sat up when she saw Burt and Carole.

"You skip school today, son?" Burt asked.

"Umm…yes sir," Kurt answered. "Just like, half of it…"

"Wanna tell me why? And what Quinn is doing here?" He asked, but Kurt knew it wasn't really a question.

"I asked her to come," Kurt stated. "Can I talk to you in the kitchen?"

His parents agreed and followed him to the kitchen, while Quinn stayed in the living room and played with Emily.

"Why did you invite Quinn into our home, Kurt? Don't you care about your brother's feelings at all?" Burt asked, sternly.

"What happened to 'kids make mistakes' and 'piss poor teenage judgment,' dad? Quinn made a mistake, she feels horrible about what she did to Finn, but she can't take it back," Kurt responded.

"There's a difference between piss poor teenage judgment and lying about who your child's father is, Kurt," he told his son. "And you can be damn sure Finn won't want her here when he gets home."

"But dad…" Kurt spoke up.

"I'm surprised at you, Kurt I really thought your brother's feelings meant more to you than this. I'm all for forgiveness, but there's a difference between forgiving someone and being so buddy-buddy with them that you skip school and fall asleep cuddling on the couch barely a week after she breaks your brother's heart," Burt reprimanded.

"I do care about Finn's feelings, Dad. I wouldn't have done it—I was mad at her too, until today…it's just…" Kurt paused.

"Just what, Kurt?"

"She's more than my Finn's old girlfriend," Kurt told his parents. He paused and gulped nervously before continuing.

"Quinn was adopted when she was five. She lived in foster care before that, like me."

"Ok, Kurt…" Burt said after a moment of silence. "I understand that you may feel a sort of…connection with Quinn…"

"No dad, it's more than that," Kurt interrupted. "When Quinn's parents adopted her, they changed her name. They didn't let her think about her past, and she was so young that she didn't remember most of what happened before then, but she remembers her name, and she remembers her twin."

Kurt gulped and swiftly wiped tears threatening to fall. "She was the same age as Lucy," he whispered.

"Kurt…you think she's Lucy?" Carole asked, pulling him in for a hug. "Honey, that's a really big long shot!"

"No, mom. Her name was Lucy, and she remembered about Uncle Charles and her old doll's name even before I told her. I never even told you that doll's name! She looks just like my other mom did—just look at the pictures! I should have recognized her before now, I just never connected the two. She recognized herself in the old picture I have, when we were talking about being adopted."

"Okay honey, okay," Carole said, pulling her son in for a hug. Both Hummel parents were at a loss of what to say.

Burt ran his hands over his head. "Geez, Kurt, when did you figure all this out?"

"She's known since last week…but I've been avoiding her. I found out today," Kurt told his parents.

Burt and Carole were silent for a long moment.

"Kurt, why don't you go join Quinn in the living room? Dad and I need to talk about this," Carole requested.

"Please don't send her away!" Kurt begged. "I just got her back, I can't lose her again!"

"Kurt, we need to figure this out, alright? Please go by Quinn," Carole repeated.

Kurt huffed and went back into the living room to join Quinn.

"Wow...I don't know what to say…what do we do?" Burt asked.

"Call the agency. If Quinn Fabray is Lucy Jackson, they'll have it on file," Carole responded.

"Right…" Burt agreed. "Do you think we should talk to her first?"

"I'm not inclined to," Carole answered. "I don't want to get anyone's hopes up any higher than they are without knowing for sure what we're dealing with. Kurt's been hurt far too much. And I don't want to hurt Finn unnecessarily. I'd like her gone by the time he gets home, at least tonight. If they're right, well then…we'll have to deal with that.

With that, Carole picked up the phone and called Mrs. Jones. When she explained the situation to Mrs. Jones, she agreed to share Quinn's case manager's name with Carole. The social worker's name, after all, contained no confidential information. So Carole called Ohio Children's Services and left a message with Rebecca Kay, Quinn's case manager, who had already gone home for the day. Until they figured it out, they agreed that Quinn would have to go back to the Jones.

The Hummel parents decided to let the kids hang out until they had to go pick up Finn, but held off on talking to her about everything until they had heard from the case manager. At 5:45 then, Burt entered the living room and told Quinn he had to pick up Finn, and would drop her off at the Jones' on the way.

"Dad, no! She can stay here!" Kurt protested.

"No, she can't. She needs to go back to her foster home. You have your schoolbooks, Quinn?" Burt asked. Quinn nodded toward her backpack lying next to the couch.

"No she doesn't, dad, we're a respite home! We take kids for a night or two all the time, she can stay here!" Kurt reiterated.

"No, she can't, Kurt. We're not doing that to Finn, he needs to be made aware of the situation, and we can't do that without her case manager's approval. I'm sorry, Quinn. We've left a message for your case manager, and we will figure it out, but for now you need to go back to the Jones," Burt explained.

"That's not fair, dad! You can't make her go, just because of Finn!" Kurt exclaimed, raising his voice.

"It's not Finn's fault, Kurt. He has a right to be upset in this situation," Burt said, keeping his tone calm.

"Dad!"

"It's ok, Kurt…it's not Finn's fault, it's mine. I'll see you tomorrow, OK?" Quinn asked, pulling Kurt into a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Lucy," Kurt said softly.

XX

It was an awkward drive back to the Jones'. Quinn didn't know what to say to Mr. Hummel; after all she lied about one of his sons being the father of her baby, and ended up being the long-lost sister of his other son. But she had to say something; he had to know why she did it if she wanted any chance of getting to know her brother; he wouldn't allow his son to hang out with a liar, she was sure.

"Mr. Hummel…" She paused, he glanced over at her before returning his eyes to the road.

"I'm really sorry for what I did to Finn. I want to tell him myself, but he won't talk to me…" she began.

"Do you blame him?" Burt questioned.

"No…I don't. What I did to him was horrible. It's just…" she paused.

"Go on…" Burt encouraged, curiously.

"I made a huge mistake. It was like, right around the time Finn and I started dating. I didn't really cheat on him, we didn't actually get together until the next day. Puck got me drunk on wine coolers and it just…happened." She thought this might be the most awkward, embarrassing conversation she'd ever had with someone else's dad, but it had to be done.

"I only said it was Finn's because by the time I found out I was pregnant, I'd fallen in love with him. And I couldn't imagine having a baby with Puck, he isn't father material. I don't want Puck to be the father, I regret that night so much! And my parents, they are like, crazy strict about anything that would make them look bad. They liked Finn…Puck is a…hoodlum, they'd say. Me dating him would make them look like bad parents. That's part of the reason I slept with him in the first place. But I should never have tried to make Finn believe she's his. That was wrong, but by the time I realized how wrong it was I didn't know how to tell him the truth. And then I was kicked out and I didn't have anywhere else to go," she was crying now. "Please don't keep Kurt and I apart, though. I don't think I could handle losing him again."

Burt was silent until they reached the Jones' house. He parked in front, and Quinn was about to open the door and get out when he spoke again.

"I don't think you're a bad kid, Quinn. I think there were a lot of bad decisions that were made here. I'm not happy with what you did to Finn, but Carole and I have two teenagers, we understand that kids make mistakes, and I know you were in an incredibly tough spot that you were trying to deal with all by yourself. You have to understand how much you hurt Finn, and that it may take a while for him to forgive you, but I do forgive you, and I would never keep you from Kurt. We'll figure it all out when you're case manager gets in touch with us," Burt assured her.

"Thanks Mr. Hummel," Quinn said with a small smile, climbing out of the car.

Burt continued on his way to McKinley to pick Finn up from basketball. Finn changed the radio station the minute he got in the car and started singing along to Katy Perry.

"Spending a lot of time with Kurt, are we?" Burt commented.

Finn laughed. "He just made me realize she's actually pretty good," Finn responded.

The drive was quick, they lived only a short distance from the school, and they were at home before any real conversation could get started. When they entered the house, Kurt stormed angrily past Finn, shoving him to the side as he did so.

"Hey! What was that for?" Finn protested.

"Shut up!" Kurt responded, angrily.

"Kurt Jacob Hummel, this is not Finn's fault and you're not taking it out on him," Carole strode after him. "You can take that attitude upstairs until dinner, and leave it up there when you come back down."

"Whatever," Kurt huffed, stomping up the stairs.

"How was basketball, Finn?" Carole asked, turning to her other son.

"Fine…what's with him?" Finn replied.

"He's upset with me, and he's taking it out on you," Burt answered. "But there is something you should know. Let's talk," he told his son, motioning for the couch. Finn sat, pulling Emily onto his lap as she went running up to him.

"You know about Lucy, obviously," Burt started.

"Kurt's sister Lucy? Yeah of course…" Finn agreed.

"Well…Kurt thinks he's found her. And I have to agree—it's a pretty good argument. We don't know for sure; we called social services to see if it's the right girl. Kurt hasn't seen her in ten years, so he doesn't know what she looks like, and her name has been changed. She has very little memory of what life was like before she was adopted, but what she does remember follows Kurt's account pretty well. And she recognized herself in Kurt's picture of his biological family," Burt explained.

"Well that's good, though…that's amazing, really, Kurt's wanted to find her forever! But…how did she see Kurt's picture? He never shows anyone…" Finn wondered.

"He showed her when they were sharing adoption stories," Burt replied.

And that's when it clicked. Quinn was adopted, and was the only person Finn could think of that Kurt would randomly be sharing adoption stories with. And she had been adopted when she was five, just like Kurt's sister. And her birthday was July 5th, just like Kurt's, though Finn hadn't pieced that together until now. And he knew it was entirely possible.

"It can't be Quinn," he said softly.

"Like I said, Finn, we don't know for sure. We'll find out soon," Carole told him.

"Damn it! Why does stuff like this always happen to me? I can't deal with her being around, she lied about me being the father of her baby, and now suddenly she's my brother's sister? It's not fair!" he exclaimed, upset.

"Finn, I know. I know it's not fair, and to tell you the truth your dad and I…we have no idea how to deal with this in a way that makes it fair to both of you, if it does end up being true. We don't know if it is though, so let's please wait and see, alright?" Carole suggested.

"Her birthday is July 5th. And she's 15. She was adopted when she was 5, mom, and she told me all about how her parents tried to make her forget her past. I never connected it before now, but it makes sense!" Finn exclaimed, "and now I can't get away from her."

"OK, that does sound…like there's a chance she could be, but Finn, we need to figure this out, and whatever happens, it will be alright," Carole assured him.

Finn pouted for a few moments, before asking "so why is Kurt mad at me?"

"We made Quinn go back to the Jones'. He wanted her to sleep over, as respite, but we wouldn't do that to you," Burt explained. "He was being unreasonable, Finn, but he's upset. I know this is hard for you, but please remember that Kurt's sister was taken from him ten years ago, and he's just found her. If this is even her. We're getting ahead of ourselves."

"Can I…can I be excused? I need time to think," Finn requested. Burt and Carole agreed, and Finn escaped to the sanctuary of his bedroom.

Finn closed his door and turned on his music before laying down in his bed to think. He wanted to hate Quinn for what she did. She convinced him for 6 weeks that he was the father of her baby, and it was never him. He was mad about her cheating, too, but he supposed she'd never really done that. They weren't dating until after she'd already slept with Puck, but she had lied about it. She had made him think she was a virgin and refused to let him touch her.

The nicer part of Finn knew how hard this must have been for Quinn. She told him what kind of people her parents were. The way they held her adoption over her head, the way they expected her to be the perfect daughter and would expect nothing less, as if she owed them because they adopted her. Finn was glad his parents weren't like that; they let Kurt be whoever he was and thought no less of him when he made mistakes. Kurt was their son because they loved him, he had no obligation to make them look good as parents. He did anyway, because they _were_ good parents. He hated to think that he actually may be able to forgive her for what she'd done. He could never date her again, that was a definite, but helping his friends throw Kurt in the dumpster had been a pretty big mistake, and it took Kurt no time at all to forgive him for it. His parents always taught him to forgive mistakes, and he was well aware of the pressure Quinn had been under by her parents when she lied to him. Besides, he had to admit it was a little flattering to have been chosen to be the baby's father over Puck.

But still, she seriously _hurt _him. And he couldn't just forget about that. And for whatever reason, Kurt was mad at him about all of this. Just this morning, Kurt had been on his side of the Finn vs. Quinn fight, and now he'd turned on him like it was suddenly his fault that it was hard for him to be around Quinn. And he hadn't even made that decision. Dad had, before Finn even knew about it. Kurt was like, seriously out of line.

But again, Finn couldn't imagine living the life that Kurt had lived prior to coming to live with Finn and his family. Sometimes, when Finn was pissed off at his brother about something, he thought about how difficult Kurt had made things for him. It sometimes felt like Finn had to sacrifice a lot for his brother. After all, if not for Kurt his family would still be in Columbus and he'd probably be the Quarterback of a winning team—Briggs had won the high school championship game last week. But in reality, most of the time Finn couldn't imagine life without Kurt, and he didn't mind the sacrifices he had made for his brother because his brother was an amazing guy who deserved a chance to be his best, and that was what families did. And Kurt had overcome so much in the past several years. It had been a hard road, but he honestly didn't think he'd ever get to the point where Kurt's PTSD problems really didn't take the forefront of his high school life. And yet, here he was in a public high school, and having had very few panic attacks. Finn thought about what it would have been like to lose a sibling—a twin—when she was all he had left in the world because his parents died and he was in foster care. And he couldn't. The closest he had to a twin was Kurt, and he couldn't imagine ever losing him. So if Kurt had found his sister again, Finn couldn't even think about taking that away or making it difficult for him, no matter how hard it was.

At the same time, Finn just wanted to be able to have his own feelings about Quinn, and feel justified in those feelings without having a reason to have to forgive her and move on, and accept her as a member of his family. He wanted to be selfish for once. Even though the last time he had been selfish, he'd ended up feeling completely horrible because he'd hurt his brother. Being a teenager completely sucked, sometimes.

XX

The next day, Burt kept his cell phone on him all day, awaiting a call from social services. Carole would be in surgery all day and unreachable. But 3:00 rolled around and the call never came. He left the shop earlier than most days as it was his day to drive Kurt to therapy. Kurt asked again if Quinn could come and live with them, and got angry with his father when he said he still hadn't heard back from social services. It was a quiet 45 minute drive to therapy, and Kurt angrily slammed the door and stormed into the office. When he was gone, Burt tried calling them, but the case manager had already left for the day. Annoyed, Burt did some grocery shopping until it was time to pick Kurt up.

The animosity between the boys was thick that night. Try as Finn did to treat Kurt like normal, Kurt was having none of it. He knew he was being unreasonable. It wasn't Finn's fault that Quinn did what she did, but he couldn't help but be resentful that she was spending another night in foster care when there was a perfectly good bed in the room reserved for respite kids in their home. Of course, he recognized that she was in good hands with the Jones, and that it wasn't really like a foster home, in that she was staying with Mercedes. Still, he wanted her with him, and he couldn't help but feel that Finn was the reason his parents wouldn't allow it. His dad had explained that he hadn't succeeded in getting in touch with Quinn's case manager yet, and Kurt knew how strict things were with foster kids, but it was hard for him to accept that.

Things had been awkward at school that day; particularly in Glee. Kurt sat by Quinn, ignoring the rest of the class, and the two of them snuck to the library for quiet conversation at lunch. Kurt really wanted to skip school again, but his dad had reprimanded him pretty severely the night before. Kurt knew the only reason he wasn't grounded was because of the reason he'd skipped, but if he did it again he would be, and that would cut out on a lot of time he could be spending with his sister. He had wanted to skip therapy that night to hang out with her, but his dad had refused, saying that Kurt needed to talk this over with Dr. Wheeler. But Kurt didn't _want_ to talk it over with Dr. Wheeler. In fact, he remained stubbornly silent in therapy that night just to spite his dad, though he knew it was pointless, his dad wouldn't even know. It was the principle of the matter.

The next day, Burt called social services again, as early as he thought the case manager would be in. She was, and explained that she had received Burt's message and was looking into the situation. She couldn't give him any information, as it was confidential and Burt did not have a release of information, but they would be checking the records. Burt and Carole discussed it over the wait, and agreed that should the story check out, they would of course take Quinn. As difficult as it would be for Finn, he could get over the lie she told him, where Kurt would never get over losing his sister for the second time. And more than anything, they both recognized Quinn's desperate need for a loving family to support her in this difficult time, and talked about the possibility of taking her even if she wasn't Kurt's sister.

And so, the days went on. Quinn continued to stay with the Jones', though she spent the evenings Finn had basketball with Kurt at the Hummels. Kurt continued to get more and more aggravated every time Quinn had to go back to the Jones, and took it out on every one of his family members. Burt and Carole continuously tried to get in touch with the case manager, who was not forthcoming with information.

Quinn, meanwhile, spent as much time as she could with Kurt. She was sure he was her brother, but there was nothing anybody could do until the case manager got back to them. She didn't mind staying with the Jones. Mr. and Mrs. Jones were very nice, and she was becoming close with Mercedes. Mercedes little brothers, Mikey and Monty, who were 7 and 5 were overwhelming with their energy, and the Jones' 2 year old foster son, Ty, was a little ball of energy who tried hard to keep up. So life with the Jones was chaotic. Though Emily was energetic, herself, she was one little girl who liked to cling to big people and tolerated quiet play. She wasn't in the same league as the Jones kids. Quinn secretly hoped that her little girl would be more like Emily, and less like the Jones children.

At school, Quinn stayed in the background as much as possible. She wasn't used to not being or wanting to be the center of attention, but she felt as though attention was the last thing she needed. Her life was falling apart. She didn't have parents, she didn't have a boyfriend, she didn't have the Cheerios, and she didn't have her old group of followers. All she had left were a brother nobody knew she had, a baby she didn't know how to take care of, a baby daddy that was sneaking around with her friend and thought selling pot brownies was an appropriate way to make money for their baby, and Brittany, the only person that stuck by her through everything, no matter how much she screwed up. She wanted to show Finn that she was sorry, that she had changed, and hope that it would make things less awkward. She no longer had parents demanding that she be the perfect daughter; she had nothing to rebel, and she didn't really want to. Puck was adamant about getting her attention—showing her that he wanted to be a part of this baby's life, but she wasn't interested in entertaining the idea of having yet another person's feelings and life to juggle; she had enough on her plate.

It was Tuesday, nearly a week after Quinn and Kurt had skipped school together, that Rebecca Kay, Quinn's case manager, showed up at her school and pulled her out of class.

"I just wanted to check in with you," she told Quinn. "How are things going with the Jones?"

"Fine…the kids are noisy, but the family is nice," Quinn responded. "Have you found out about Kurt yet? Mr. Hummel said they called you." Quinn had no interest in small talk. She knew what she wanted to talk about.

"Yes, Quinn, I have. And you were correct, you were Lucy Jackson prior to your adoption, and Kurt is your biological brother," Rebecca confirmed.

Though Lucy already knew this to be true, the confirmation was overwhelming to deal with. She felt the tears pooling, and let them fall.

"So what's going to happen?" she asked, tentatively, unsure if she wanted to know the answer. "Do I get to live with him?"

"Right now you need to stay with the Jones. You are old enough to have some say in your placement, but if the Hummels agree to take you, they need to have their license upgraded from respite to general foster care. As you were both adopted, under the eyes of the law the Hummels are under no obligation to take you, and they may not even qualify to foster you. We also need to ensure the safety of your baby, should you decide to keep it. Have you made that decision yet?" Rebecca asked.

"No…but, if I do keep her, will she be in foster care because I am?" Quinn asked.

"Technically, yes. We would keep her with you, but she would be under the care of a social worker to check up on you and ensure her safety. If we can find a placement for both of you together, that's great. If not, then you'll have to be placed in a group home with other teenage mothers in the system, until you age out or qualify for independent living. Does that make sense?" Rebecca asked. This was the first time in the nearly two weeks since she was placed with the Jones that she really got to sit down and talk with her social worker.

Quinn nodded. "What's independent living?" she asked.

"Once you turn 16 you can apply, though most kids don't get into the program until they're 17. Basically, you will be able to live alone in an apartment, with weekly supervision from your independent care worker and visits from myself, or your social worker at the time. You'll get a stipend from the state for necessities for both you and your baby and have your rent taken care of, but you'll have to finish high school and pass all of your classes to continue to qualify for the program. You'll also have to take classes through the state that will teach you how to manage your finances, file taxes, cook, apply for jobs, parent, and other things that will prepare you for adulthood. I won't lie, it's not an easy program to go through, it will keep you busy, but it's a viable option for you to consider. Of course, you could also choose to give your baby up for adoption, and I will be here to help you choose an adoption agency and support you through the process. I don't want you to feel like being in foster care means you have to give up your baby, but I do want you to face the reality of what keeping her would mean, and how hard it would be. You need to look at all of the options seriously, and I think it would be a good idea for you to attend a support group for teenage parents in the system," Rebecca explained.

Quinn sat, flabbergasted for a few minutes. So much information thrown at her, though she knew she was in a really difficult place and needed to be aware of her options.

"Have you talked to my parents?" she asked, when she couldn't think of what to say.

Rebecca nodded, but hesitated. She seemed to decide that Quinn deserved to know the truth, but it didn't make the next words out of her mouth any easier to hear.

"I'm sorry, Quinn, but I don't think it's a viable option for you to ever go back there. They've made it pretty clear that they don't want you to," she told her. Quinn took a deep, shuddering breath. She knew her parents never truly cared about her, but she still thought they might still consider her their daughter. Frannie had, after all, made several big mistakes herself, and they still spoke to her. Frannie was their biological child, though, and she supposed that made all the difference.

Quinn was sent back to class after her meeting with Rebecca Kay. While she was glad she got to talk to her, she still felt like nothing had been accomplished. She appreciated how honest Rebecca was with her, though she had no idea what was going to come next and it terrified her. She had known from day one that the Jones weren't a permanent solution. If the Hummels weren't going to do it (and she knew they had every reason not to—she couldn't blame them) then she would have to be placed with some random foster family, and that thought absolutely terrified her.

_Sorry for the long delay in getting this up! I actually intended for it to be up sooner, but I wasn't happy with my previously written chapter 18 and got busy with school stuff. So here you go! I will try to update on Sundays, but I don't think I'll be updating more than once a week anymore. Chapter 19 has not yet been started, so please, leave a review with ideas of where to go with this story (though I do have a general outline that I won't be straying from, I could always use ideas!) and motivate me to get it out by next week! And as always, a HUGE thank you to all who reviewed! Have a good one!_

_Lacey_


	19. Chapter 19

_I apologize for the long delay in this chapter. I had a horrible case of writer's block, and little time to work on it. But here you are!_

-Two weeks later—

Quinn was frustrated. The Hummels wanted her to live with them, even Finn had agreed. They were going through the process of getting their foster care license so they could take her, when her aunt, her mother's sister, decided Quinn could live with her in Indiana. Quinn didn't know her aunt well, she only really saw her, or her two children, on holidays. She was nice enough, but more than anything, Quinn just wanted to live with Kurt again, and she couldn't understand why everyone was making that so difficult. The state had to try, first, to place her with family. Since her parents adopted her, and her legal bond with Kurt had been terminated, the closest she had was her Aunt Sarah. She did, at 15, have a right to have her voice heard in court, but she knew it ultimately wasn't her decision.

She had to go to Indiana last weekend to visit her aunt. Quinn figured the best way she could ensure her ability to stay with Kurt was to make her Aunt Sarah not want her. And so, she put on her bitchiest attitude, and made fun of her cousins mercilessly. She felt a little bad about it, truthfully. Her cousin Gabe reminded her quite a bit of Kurt. In fact, if Kurt and Gabe met, she was sure they could be friends. Aunt Sarah tried to connect with her. She took her out for dinner, just the two of them, she bought her some new maternity clothes, they made dinner together.

The truth was, if not for Kurt, Quinn would consider living there. She hadn't realized before, that her aunt was a pretty cool person. She wasn't as conservative, rich and stuck up as her parents were. Her aunt was a single mother, she worked hard to give her kids the life they had, and her cousins turned out to be pretty cool. But she wasn't really family, and if Quinn wanted to say goodbye to her adoptive parents, she had to do so completely. She wanted to be with her brother.

It took a month. Quinn had to go and spend another weekend with her aunt and cousins. They talked about the possibility of her moving in; her aunt even said she would help her decide what to do about the baby, and the possibility of keeping it was still open. Aunt Sarah explained that while Quinn's parents may have thrown her out, she didn't want Quinn to feel like she had no family left. She would love to have Quinn in their home. Quinn appreciated that her aunt wanted to be there for her, however, she made her stance clear. She wanted to live with Kurt, so long as the Hummels wanted her. And so, Aunt Sarah backed off. Without her aunt there to claim guardianship, Quinn was able to be placed with the Hummels.

Christmas was right around the corner. Quinn had passed the halfway point in her pregnancy, and was in the middle of her second trimester. She was feeling pretty good, physically. Emotionally, however, things were hard. She was going to be moving in with the Hummels that weekend, and while she was happy about that, the looks she was getting in school were starting to suck. She was used to being popular, and although that was something that her parents expected of her, she couldn't deny that it was nice to part crowds in the hallway rather than get scathing looks everywhere she went. Nobody at school was aware that Quinn was Lucy, Kurt's long-lost sister. They all knew she was currently in foster care (which was a huge source of the scathing look and teasing she received from kids at school), and that's as much as she wanted them to know for now. She only wanted to deal with one thing at a time. The kids in glee all thought it was a little weird that she was moving in with the Hummels considering her history with Finn, but Quinn had just told them that the Hummels were a long term foster placement, where Mercedes' home was short term. Mercedes' parents knew about her and Kurt, but they promised not to tell Mercedes. Quinn loved Mercedes, but she knew nothing with her was a secret.

She enjoyed getting closer to Kurt, but she felt that he was hesitant to let her know what had happened in his life. She knew something bad must have, even beyond what they went through together, but he was so quiet about it. She knew he was seeing a therapist, and seemed to have a lot of problems with emotional control. She recalled the time he went off on his dad in front of her, because she couldn't move in at that moment. Burt had taken him upstairs while she hung out with Emily. They returned a half hour later like nothing had happened. It wasn't the only time that had happened, but Kurt just said he had trouble controlling his emotions, and left it at that. She also noticed the random times he seemed to go in a clammy, clenched up state for no reason, and have to breathe his way back to normalcy. He was always ecstatic to see her, and the two of them could talk for hours, but he cut her off at a certain point. She was concerned about her brother, and hoped that soon he would open up enough to let her in.

Then there was Finn. He was talking to her again, and said he forgave her. He said he knew how important she was to Kurt, so that made her important to him too, but it wasn't like before. Everything was surface level with Finn. He was polite to her, cordial, but she never felt particularly welcome around him. She supposed she shouldn't be surprised about that. Things were going to take time with Finn; she accepted that. She just wished she hadn't hurt him so bad. And she wished she didn't still have feelings for him.

Burt and Carole were great. Especially Carole. Quinn loved spending time with her; she was the mother that Quinn always wanted and Judy Fabray never was. Carole was a huge help to her regarding pregnancy issues. Having just had her own baby a few years before, along with her position as a nurse, Quinn could go to her with anything.

The weekend she moved in, Burt and Carole sat her down and informed her of the rules and regulations she had to follow living in their house. Quinn found out they were quite strict. There were more rules to follow with the Hummels then she was used to. Her parents didn't really care what she did, so long as she looked perfect on the outside. They weren't really home enough to keep track of her. In a way it was nice, having parents to care about what she did, but she wasn't used to having to report to anyone. Even at the Jones' house, while there were rules, they were pretty relaxed and easy going; and Quinn also knew it was temporary. Whatever happened, she wouldn't be there long. This was, hopefully, much more permanent.

XXXX

A week after Quinn moved in, the family went Christmas shopping. Burt and Carole split away from the kids, and Quinn convinced them to let Emily tag along with the teens. She loved the little girl, and enjoyed the practice. She wasn't sure if she was going to keep her little girl or not, but Emily sure made it hard to think about giving her away. Except when she was tantruming or doing gross stuff, then she had second thoughts.

"Hey! Let's take Emily to see Santa!" Quinn suggested, as they passed the North Pole set up, queued up with kids.

"We don't celebrate Santa in our house," Finn responded with finality, grabbing Kurt's arm and steering them in the other direction. Quinn followed, pushing the stroller. She thought it was a little weird; she understood why some parents didn't celebrate Santa, as it was kind of lying to the kid, but the way he said it...like it was something else. She didn't notice the way Kurt leaned into Finn, allowing the older boy to take the lead.

"Why not?" she asked, moving to walk beside her brother.

"We just don't," Finn replied, his tone of voice closing the subject. "Let's go to Boston Store, Kurt wanted to pick out some jewelry for mom." Boston Store was on the other side of the mall, and Finn began heading quickly in that direction, his hand on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt seemed to be trying to slow his breathing, and Finn quickly detoured to a side hallway, where bathrooms were located.

"Why don't you go see if Emily needs a diaper change?" he suggested to Quinn, clearly wanting to talk to Kurt privately in the alcove. Quinn agreed, pulling the toddler from her stroller and grabbing the diaper bag. She was a little weirded out; she knew something was up and it was clear that the boys didn't want her to know what. She wondered what happened; what caused them to get all weird. It couldn't be the suggestion that Emily go see Santa…sure, maybe they didn't celebrate Santa but that couldn't be the reason Kurt got all clammy and Finn got all tough.

"Emmy no dirty," Emily protested, as Quinn lifted her to the changing table.

"No? Alright, let's just give brothers a minute to talk," she told the newly 2-year-old, putting her back down, feeling her to ensure dryness. She took the baby's hand and led her to the sinks.

"Do you want to wash your hands?" she asked. Emily didn't really need to, but the child loved water, and it would take a few minutes. Emily clapped her hands, so Quinn lifted her, sitting her on the counter and turning on the water. By the time the girls exited the bathroom, the boys seemed fine again. Kurt was less tense, and they were ready to continue their shopping.

The teens picked out a few nice things for Carole, and went in together to buy Burt a tool kit. They met Burt and Carole at the food store, and the earlier incident was not mentioned.

XX

Life with the Hummels was nice, but Quinn was having a hard time getting used to the rules. She wound up on restriction the weekend after the shopping trip for coming home late on Thursday without bothering to call the Hummels, nor answering their calls. The truth was, Puck asked her to dinner. He was being all sweet to her, and he seemed to really want to connect with her about the baby. She figured she owed it to him to at least give him a chance. She didn't grow up with her parents, or with parents that really cared about her, and Puck had a dead beat father. They both knew what that was like, and if her baby had a chance at having her father in her life, she thought she owed her that, even if Puck wouldn't have been her first choice. So Quinn disappeared with him right after school, not even thinking about telling Kurt where she was going, or texting Burt or Carole. It just wasn't something she was used to doing. She left her phone in her purse, and left it on vibrate from school. She'd had a good conversation with Puck. She was happy he actually seemed to care about her and the baby, even if he didn't have a clue what to do as a father or the reality of the situation. Then Santana and Brittany showed up at breadsticks, and the four of them went bowling. Quinn checked her phone when they got to the alley, and noticed 4 texts (two from Kurt, two from Carole) and a missed call from Burt. It was then that she remembered she was supposed to check in, but it was her turn to bowl and she didn't want to have to make Puck take her home early. She was afraid that's what would happen if she called them back. Besides, connecting with her baby's father was important, they had to understand that. So when Puck dropped her off at 9, it was to an angry and worried Burt and Carole.

They lectured her, she argued that it wasn't that late, but she did know that curfew was 7 on school nights (seriously? What kind of rule was that?) Burt and Carole argued it gave them time to do homework in the evening, and if they wanted to stay out later they can always call and ask. They assured her that, had she called, her plans for the evening were perfectly acceptable and they would have allowed it, but she didn't like having to have people "allow" her to do things. She was about to become a mother, she was as close to an adult as one could get! But that didn't stop them from taking her phone and grounding her for the weekend. Quinn angrily made her way to her room, where she planned on staying for the remainder of the night.

20 minutes later, she heard a knock on the door, and Kurt entered.

"They were worried about you," he told her, sitting on her bed and leaning against the headboard.

She sighed, and sat next to him, placing her head on his shoulder.

"I wasn't doing anything wrong," she told him. "I just went bowling with Puck, Santana and Brittany. They should trust me more than that."

"It's the same rules for Finn and I, they are pretty easy going about letting you do stuff, you just have to let them know," he told her.

"But grounded for a whole weekend? I'll be so bored!" she protested.

"You've never been grounded before, have you?" Kurt asked, smirking. Quinn shook her head. Her parents never bothered. When she did something that they were angry about, they usually just yelled at her until she excused herself to her room.

"Well, it won't be that bad. I'll stay home and hang out with you," Kurt assured her. "We'll have a Grey's Anatomy marathon and work on a duet for Glee.

XX

That weekend, Burt and Carole had to talk to Kurt about something important, that they'd known about for a few days but weren't sure how to bring it up with Kurt. They debated doing it in therapy, but decided to do it in the comfort of their own home.

"The trial is coming up," Carole told him, the three of them seated on the couch, Kurt between them. "You've been subpoenaed to testify."

Kurt stared at her blankly for a few minutes. "Can I say no?" he finally asked. "I don't want to."

"I'm sorry, sweetie…I wish you could, but the court has ordered you to testify. You don't have a choice," Carole told him. "Dad and I will be with you the whole time, though. You won't be alone."

Kurt felt the tears well in his eyes. More than anything, he did _not_ want to face those guys.

"Does Blaine have to?" he asked, timidly.

"Blaine doesn't remember as much as you. He was unconscious, and he doesn't remember the time leading up to it. The most Blaine could testify to is what happened the months preceding the event," Burt explained. "I wish I could tell you that you didn't have to, but we want these guys put away, Kurt."

"Were all of them caught?" Kurt asked. "Who is the trial for?"

"Just Doug Riser and Todd Harding. They aren't giving up the other two, and there isn't enough evidence to tie Matt Daniels to the crime," Burt told him. "But the two of them can be put away, anyway. And we'll keep working on Daniels and the fourth one."

"When do I have to do it?" Kurt asked.

"January 4," Burt told him. "So you have a few weeks to prepare. I want you to go over this with Dr. Wheeler, have her help you prepare for this."

Kurt just nodded and excused himself. He was feeling stressed and discombobulated for the next few days, the attack now fresh on his mind.

XX

The next week, Tuesday after school, Mercedes and Tina begged Kurt to go shopping with them. Kurt protested at first, not wanting to go to the mall this time of year, but he did love shopping, and he needed more gifts. Quinn wanted to go, as well, so, after calling his parents, he agreed. He would just avoid going near the North Pole set, and he should be fine.

They had a good time, and Kurt managed to avoid the center of the mall. Until Quinn wanted to stop in the maternity store, which was right behind the North Pole set. Kurt tried to convince her that they had everything she needed in Boston Store, but there was a specific dress she'd seen several weeks earlier that she couldn't afford then; but with her allowance she now could. Kurt reluctantly agreed, trying not to show his hesitation, and stuck to the wall until they got to the store. On the way out, however, Santa was going on break, and passed by the kids, brushing close to Kurt, who tripped over his feet and fell to the ground. The Santa stopped to apologize and help him up. Kurt panicked and tried to back away, but when the man held a hand out for Kurt to grab, he brought his foot up hard. Security was there quickly, and brought Kurt to the back office, where they had several holding cells. Kurt fought the entire way, causing quite the scene. Mercedes and Tina looked horrified, neither having seen Kurt in that state. Quinn followed, calling Carole on the way, who said she'd be right down, leaving Mercedes and Tina behind. Carole stayed on the phone, requesting to speak with the officer. As he didn't know them, however, they couldn't do much but try to stop him from hurting himself. Even Quinn wouldn't be any help because, while Kurt may eventually recognize her, they didn't want her close enough to get hurt.

In the security office, Kurt was in the midst of a major panic attack, like he hadn't had in years. After being triggered, the trauma of being carried away by some unfamiliar officers made it that much worse. Nobody was there to help him calm down in the way he was used to; even his sister had yet to see an attack. Quinn tried to get near him to calm him down, but he didn't seem to recognize her, and she was afraid of the baby getting in his way.

In the security office, the officer tried to coax Kurt into a seat. While there was a holding cell, they seemed reluctant to put Kurt in there, clearly knowing something was wrong with him, and it went beyond purposely injuring the employee. Kurt, however, seemed to be doing whatever he could to get away from the officer, including grabbing a pen and attempting to stab the officer. It scared Quinn to see him like this; he seemed to be out of his mind, like he wasn't aware of where he was or who she was.

He hit his head hard on the corner of the desk, as he flung himself forward trying to escape the grasp of the security officer holding him. It was bleeding, but he didn't seem to care. Quinn stood in the corner, covering her stomach protectively, crying.

One officer called an ambulance, while the other did his best to hold Kurt in a way that wouldn't allow him to be further hurt.

Ten minutes later, the ambulance arrived, just before Carole came running in. They gave Kurt a sedative, as his head wound was bleeding quite a bit and they couldn't stop the bleeding with him carrying on, and made their way to the hospital. A crying, upset Quinn rode with Carole.

Burt and Finn met them at the hospital, where Kurt was admitted to mental health for the night after receiving 6 staples. The doctor assured them that he wasn't seriously injured, but they wanted him to see his psychiatrist as soon as possible. They'd gotten in touch with Dr. Wheeler, who agreed to come to Lima the next day and see Kurt. Kurt was still asleep from the sedative, and the Hummel parents decided that Carole would remain with him while Burt took the other kids home.

As they were sitting in the waiting room, Quinn connected the incident to last weeks, when Kurt clenched up at the thought of Santa and Finn quickly led him away. For whatever reason, Kurt couldn't handle Santa.

"What happened, Quinn?" Finn asked, while the parents were talking to the doctor.

"I don't know…" Quinn said, wiping the tears. "We were in Motherhood Maternity. On the way out, Kurt tripped. The Santa from the North Pole was passing, and stopped to help him up, and he freaked out. He kicked him in the crotch, and then the security officers took him out. He was freaking out the whole way. I called Carole, and I think she told them to try to stop him from hurting himself. They were holding him back, but he broke forward and hit his head," Quinn explained. "Finn…what's wrong with him?"

"You shouldn't have let him anywhere near the North Pole set," Finn said, angrily. "I told you we don't do Santa!"

"Well how was I supposed to know? He agreed to go," Quinn protested.

"It wasn't your fault, Quinn," Burt said, taking the seat next to her. "We'll talk about this at home. Mom is staying here with Kurt tonight."

"Is he OK?" Quinn asked. "Can I see him?"

"He'll be fine," Burt assured. "He's still asleep, he will be for a while. You'll see him tomorrow. For now, we'll go home."

Carole hugged them both, once again assuring Quinn that it wasn't her fault.

XX

The car ride home was silent. Burt was just thankful Kurt was OK, but it was an incident that never should have happened. Every Christmas, they were careful about going to the mall or anywhere a live Santa was present. It was hard when there were people dressed as Santa ringing Salvation Army bells at every store entrance, but Kurt seemed to have a reign on that particular trigger. He avoided going anywhere near them; he would take the other entrance whenever possible, and when he couldn't he would hightail it past. They had decided not to celebrate Santa ever since they had Kurt and first noticed his trigger, and that included after Emily had been born. They still gave their kids all the "Santa" presents, but they were from mom and dad instead. Burt and Carole recognized that the North Pole might be a trigger for Kurt the week before, but he assured them that he'd be OK. He'd reassured them that nothing had happened, and that he could handle himself perfectly fine with the girls this week. Burt and Carole had their doubts, as Kurt wasn't going with Finn or Brittany, the only two that had any experience in helping him should he have a trigger, but they also recognized that Kurt was 15, and they had to let go of the reigns and trust him to handle himself at some point.

Now he had to figure out what to say to Quinn who, understandably, would want to have some answers. He didn't want to betray Kurt's trust, but Quinn was a part of the family now, and he didn't want Kurt to try to hide from his issues in his own house.

He stopped at the home of Mike, one of the mechanics at his shop, where he had dropped Emily off on the way to the hospital.

It was late when they arrived home. Burt put Emily to bed, and then joined the kids in the kitchen. He sat at the table, and got the expectant look from Quinn.

"Look, Quinn, I'm not comfortable telling you everything without Kurt's approval. You need to know, but I need to get Kurt's approval to tell you. If he wants to tell you himself, we'll have him tell you in therapy, with his psychiatrist," Burt told her.

Quinn nodded, but didn't take her eyes off Burt.

"What I will tell you, is that Kurt was in a really bad home before we got him, he was 8. Kurt has a condition called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. For the most part, he has a handle on his triggers, and it took him a long time to get to this point. The emotional control, the panic attacks, the breathing exercises, they are all a part of his condition, and for the most part, he's doing remarkably well. But certain things remind him of something in his past, and they sort of…transport him back in time. That's what you saw today. It's the reason we don't celebrate Santa. It's a trigger," Burt explained.

Quinn nodded, tears running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry…I never would have dragged him into that store if I'd known—"

"It's not your fault, Quinn," Burt assured her. "He knew better, but he must have thought he could control it. It comes in waves. Sometimes he has excellent control of it all, but when something big happens, it takes his control away for a while. He may have a hard time for the next few weeks. We'll show you what to do if another attack happens, but if he's out of his head, I don't want you getting anywhere near him. He can lash out, and I don't want you or your baby injured. Do you understand?"

Quinn nodded through her tears. "What happened to him?" she asked.

"That's something I need to talk to Kurt about before I tell you," Burt told her. "For now, I think you should go to bed. You've had a hard day, and you have to go to school tomorrow."

"Can't I stay home?" she asked.

"I'd rather you didn't. The less people home when Kurt gets home, the better," Burt replied.

Quinn nodded, too exhausted to argue, and dismissed herself to her room.

XX

Kurt didn't wake up until the next morning. He didn't remember much of the night,and was confused when he woke up the next morning in the hospital with an aching head, his mom asleep on the couch under the window.

His head hurt something fierce, so he closed his eyes, leaning back into the bed, trying to remember what happened. He remembered being at the mall, but he wasn't sure when he'd blacked out. They'd gotten most of their Christmas shopping done, they'd gotten smoothies, and then everything went black. He figured he must have had a trigger, and wondered if he ran into Santa again, as that was what almost caused an attack the week before,

He opened his eyes when he heard someone in the room.

"Oh, you're awake," the nurse said upon noticing him. "How are you feeling?"

"M'head hurts," Kurt responded. Carole stirred at this, and sat up.

"Oh, Kurt baby, how's your head?" she asked, coming over to him and placing a gentle, cool hand on his forehead.

"Hurts," he responded.

"I'll get you something for the pain," the nurse told him. "Your psychiatrist should be here soon, so I don't want to give you anything too strong."

"What happened?" Kurt asked his mom.

"You don't remember?" she asked. Kurt very gently shook his head.

"Dr. Wheeler will talk to you about it, she didn't want me to tell you," Carole explained.

"I had a flashback, didn't I?" Kurt asked.

"You did," Carole confirmed.

"Did I make a scene?" Kurt asked.

"I want you to talk to Dr. Wheeler about that. For now, why don't you close your eyes?" She suggested.

Too tired to argue, Kurt did so. An hour later, Dr. Wheeler arrived and gently nudged Kurt awake.

Dr. Wheeler didn't get much more information out of Kurt in the hour they spent together. He was easily pushed into another panic attack, and she had a hard time talking him through it. She recommended he remain in the hospital for another night, and said she would be back in the evening to try again.

Kurt spent most of the day trying to sleep. He didn't have the energy to be angry with himself for losing control. All of his willpower was being used to keep the panic at bay. He kept flashing back to Mr. Douser, to Uncle Charles, to the boys at the school, leaving little room for the present. He didn't even want to try to figure out why he was in the hospital; not yet. That evening, Dr. Wheeler came again, and again, got no information out of him. He had another panic attack, and when she couldn't calm him down she gave him his anxiety medication

XX

Quinn was feeling incredibly guilty. She knew there was something weird about the Santa incident at the mall the previous week, but she didn't push it. If she had demanded to know what happened, they could have avoided last night's incident. Now, her brother was in the hospital and she had to go back to school and face Mercedes and Tina, who were worried sick about Kurt. She'd received no less than 7 texts from each of them asking about him. She told them what she knew, which was next to nothing.

She informed both of them the next day that she still knew nothing. Burt had made her go to school, and before she left there had been no change. But he _was_ going to be OK, they'd assured her.

That, however, wasn't enough to satisfy Brittany.

"Where's Kurt?" she asked at lunch. "I heard Mercedes saying he freaked out at the mall yesterday. Where is he?" Quinn glared at Mercedes, before turning to Brittany with her voice down.

"He's in the hospital. He'll be fine though, Brit, they promised," Quinn assured her.

"Were you with him when it happened?" Brittany asked. "Where was he?"

"Yeah, we were shopping. At the mall," Quinn answered. She knew Kurt and Brittany had always been close, but she had no idea what Brittany knew. If she were honest with herself, she hoped Brittany didn't know a lot. She'd known Kurt for longer, sure, but Quinn was his sister. But Brittany seemed to know more than she did.

"Did he see Santa?" she asked, quietly.

"How did you…?"

"I've seen it before," Brittany answered. "A couple years ago. It wasn't a bad one, but I've seen a couple of bad ones. It's scary."

"How long, exactly, have you known him?" Quinn asked.

"I was 12, he was 10. We were in ballet together," Brittany answered, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"So you knew him, before he started getting better? Do you know what happened to him?" Quinn asked.

Brittany stared at her for a moment before answering.

"I'm not very good at keeping secrets, Quinn, but I've never told a single one of Kurt's. I don't tell Kurt's secrets, he's been like my brother for 5 years. I know you're getting closer to him, living with him and stuff, but he's gonna have to tell you that," Brittany told her with finality.

"You know most of his secrets?" Quinn pressed.

"Well I mean, I've been around him for a long time. I've seen most of what he's been through," Brittany confirmed. "Back then, he wasn't as good at hiding it. Quinn, you're trying to make me spill, and I won't do that." Quinn backed off, then. The bell was about to ring, anyway.

Quinn went home after school alone, as Finn had basketball practice, to find a woman she hadn't met, playing with Emily on the floor.

"Um…hi," she said, taking off her coat and hanging it on her hook.

"You must be Quinn!" she said with a smile as she stood, going to Quinn and pulling her into a hug. "I'm Carole's mother, you can call me Lorrie…or Grandma!"

"How's Kurt?" Quinn asked when Lorrie let her go.

"He'll be spending another night at the hospital. Hopefully he'll be home tomorrow," she explained.

"It…it was that bad?" Quinn asked.

"He'll be fine," Lorrie assured her.

"Everyone keeps saying that, nobody actually tells me how he is. What's wrong with him?" Quinn demanded.

Lorrie sighed. "He seems to have lost some control. He keeps having panic attacks. He just needs to find the control again, and he'll be fine."

"Can I see him?" Quinn asked.

"Not today," Lorrie responded. "You can see him tomorrow, whether he's still in the hospital or he comes home," she promised.

Quinn stormed off to her room, pissed. Nobody seemed to understand how much she needed to see her brother, make sure he was OK.

XX

The next morning, Kurt was feeling a bit better. When Dr. Wheeler came to visit, he confessed how stressed he'd been about hearing that he would have to testify at the trial. Dr. Wheeler hadn't heard about this yet, so was taken by surprise.

"When did you get this news?" she asked.

"My parents told me over the weekend," he replied.

"Were you feeling stressed when you went to the mall, Kurt?" she asked.

Kurt nodded. "Yes, I've been stressed about it since I found out," he confirmed.

They talked for a bit about what happened at the mall, with the Santa. Kurt was slowly able to recall parts of the incident, and he managed it without falling into a panic attack through careful breathing.

Dr. Wheeler spoke privately to Burt and Carole after her meeting with Kurt.

"I'd like him to remain here for another night, for careful observation. The rate he's been having panic attacks is a little intense, and I'd be more comfortable with him here. I'd also like to increase my meetings with him to twice a week for a while, and I'm prescribing him a slightly stronger anti-anxiety medication," she explained.

Burt and Carole nodded their understanding.

"I'll be honest, I'm worried about this trial. I'll be talking to him in our sessions before then, but at this point I think I'll have to put in my recommendation that he is not mentally stable enough to testify. I'm afraid we'll have a meltdown in the middle of the courtroom. I'm positive that it's what caused such a strong reaction to the incident at the mall. That, along with the stress of finding his sister and getting her home has caused him to backtrack, and probably brought back some intense memories. Hopefully he can get back on track quickly. I talked to Kurt about what he wants Quinn to know, and he's asked me to ask you to tell her. He wants her to know, but he doesn't want to talk about it, and at this point I think its best we honor that."

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